Burning Bright (20 page)

‘Deal.’ Alex thanked me, looking relieved, then walked back into school.

I went home. I tried to study, but it was impossible. Emmi phoned later to see if I was okay. I kept my word to Alex and told her nothing about the iPad. She mentioned it herself, explaining it
had turned up after all ‘in Alex’s locker at school’.

I pointed out this clearly let Flynn off the hook – as did the fact that his Facebook account had obviously been hacked – but it made no difference. Emmi was just as disposed to
think badly of him today as she had been yesterday.

The same was true of Mum who, as promised, sat me down for a Big Talk when she got home from work. I submitted to a long lecture which covered personal responsibility, problem drinking and the
importance of Moving On. The fact that Flynn was innocent of the theft didn’t matter to Mum, any more than it had to Emmi or Mr McClure.

In their eyes he was difficult and unlikeable and I was better off without him.

And I
was
without him. I tried over and over again to call – but his number stayed unobtainable. By the time I went to school the next day I was beside myself with worry. What on
earth had happened to him? Was he okay? I’d called James – who didn’t have another number for him – and even left a message at the hairdressing salon where Siobhan used to
work. I was hoping that the owner, Mr Goode, would give me Gary’s mobile number, and that I might be able to get hold of Flynn through him.

I had to switch off my phone for the whole afternoon in order to take the history and English tests we’d been set. I knew I’d done badly – it was just so hard to focus, not
knowing what had happened to Flynn.

After the exams I chatted to the girls for a while. Emmi was offhand about the tests, making out she’d done no work at all and didn’t care about the results. Grace was typically
anxious – worried that in spite of all her revision, she’d answered the questions poorly. Emmi suggested we walked to the Broadway and bought ice creams. It was a sunny day – the
warmest of the year so far.

I said I had to get home and left them to it. The truth was, I was desperate to try Flynn again. But his number was still unavailable and, so far, Mr Goode hadn’t returned my call either.
I took a detour to the park. It really was a beautiful day – a brilliant sun burned down from a clear blue sky. I felt deeply, desperately sad.

Where was Flynn? Why hadn’t he called me? He must know his phone wasn’t working. Surely he could have borrowed a mobile to get hold of me if he’d really wanted to?

I strolled across the concrete play area at the start of the park and onto the grassy square. It was busier than I’d seen it for ages, thanks to the fabulous weather. I found an empty
bench between two groups of mothers with toddlers and pushchairs. It was the place we’d had that row just before Caitlin’s first Holy Communion and almost immediately opposite the
café where Flynn and I had met on our very first date.

I hugged my knees to my chest and squeezed my eyes tight shut, trying to block out the memories.

I didn’t hear his footsteps. I don’t even know how long he was standing there. But I sensed someone looking at me and glanced up.

I gasped.

Flynn was leaning against a tree with his arms folded, smiling at me.

It was him. It was really him. He held me for a moment with those green-gold eyes of his. I stared, hardly believing he was real. He looked good.
So
good. His hair was
slightly longer than when I’d last seen him and he had new clothes on – jeans and a T-shirt I didn’t recognise.

These thoughts registered in a fraction of a second. And then we were both moving, rushing towards each other, the sun and the park and the grass at our feet forgotten. I hurled myself into his
arms.

He held me tight.

‘Oh, River.’ His voice was soft and strong in my ear. ‘I had to see you. I had to talk to you.’ His voice broke and he pulled away, holding my face in his hands. His eyes
bored into me, as intense as I’d ever seen.

I realised I was holding my breath. I laughed at the thought that Flynn literally took my breath away.

‘What?’ Flynn’s face clouded with misunderstanding. ‘Don’t laugh, Riv. I didn’t steal anything. Not
ever.
And my account was hacked into and that photo
was faked up and—’

‘I know.’ I put my finger on his lips to stop him talking. ‘I know you didn’t do any of those things.’

Flynn nodded. But his forehead was still creased with a deep frown.

‘You didn’t take my call yesterday . . .’ he said.

‘Only because my mum was . . . was there, waiting for me,’ I said. ‘I tried to call you as soon as I was on my own, but your phone was switched off or something.’ I kept
my gaze steady as I spoke, but inside I felt a stab of guilt. I wasn’t telling the whole truth . . . at the time I’d mistrusted Flynn. It was only after I found Alex’s iPad that I
tried to call him back.

‘As soon as you didn’t pick up I knew I had to get here,’ Flynn said. He pulled me into another hug, his lips brushing against my ear as he spoke. ‘I was so sick of being
there anyway. I hated it.
Hated.
Whoever it was – Alex or whoever – hacking my Facebook page was the last straw. I had a bit of money saved up and I went straight to this guy
I’d met in Dub and sold him my handset.’

I gasped. ‘You sold your
phone
?’

Flynn nodded. ‘It all added up to just enough money. I left a note for Mum then headed to the airport. I waited for a standby flight. It took
forever
but I got on one at last. Soon
as I got here this afternoon I went to your school,’ Flynn said. ‘Everyone was coming out of doing tests. I kept asking. Eventually someone said they thought you’d come in this
direction . . .’

I pulled back and stared at him, open-mouthed.

‘You came all this way just to make sure I knew you weren’t a thief or a liar?’ I said. ‘All this way? For me?’

A beat passed. The sun shone fierce in the sky. Flynn moved closer, the same fire burning bright in his eyes.

‘I’d do
anything
for you,’ he said.

His face was just above mine. I knew the shape and lines of it better than my own.

‘I love you,’ he said.

His lips brushed mine. And the dead weight that I’d carried in my chest since he’d gone dissolved as we kissed.

At last we pulled apart and I opened my eyes. The breeze was soft and warm on my skin, the air perfumed with the fresh scent of mown grass. All around us, the happy shrieks of small children
rose into the air.

I felt alive, like the world was in colour again.

‘Oh Riv, you don’t know how much it means, knowing you believed in me.’ Flynn’s face was wreathed in a shy smile.

The world darkened slightly, as if a shadow had appeared over our heads. I hugged him again, trying to ignore it. The truth was I
hadn’t
believed in him. I had doubted everything
– that he was honest, that he was true . . .

‘Of course I believed in you,’ I said. We held hands and strolled across the park to a bench. As we walked, I explained how I’d found Alex’s iPad in Emmi’s bedroom
and taken it to St Cletus’s. ‘Alex said Emmi didn’t know he’d hidden the iPad there and I promised him I wouldn’t tell her but . . .’

Flynn swore. His face filled with fury. ‘That means Alex completely set me up.’

‘I know.’ My heartbeat quickened. I didn’t want Flynn to get in a bad mood now, not while he was being so sweet and loving. ‘But I’ve made sure Alex tells everyone
that it turned up, so they know
you
didn’t take it.’

‘It won’t make any difference,’ Flynn said with an angry grunt, sitting down on the bench.

I sat down beside him, feeling troubled. He was right. Mum and Emmi’s reactions were proof of that.

‘How long will you be here?’ I asked, hoping to change the subject.

Flynn said nothing. His face grew even more thunderous.

‘Flynn?’ I said, feeling uneasy. ‘When will you have to go back to Ireland?’

‘I’m not. I couldn’t have stood it there another day anyway.’

What?
‘You’re not going back?’ My mouth fell open.

‘No,’ Flynn said, folding his arms in that stubborn way of his I knew so well. ‘I’ll stay here. Get a job, like we talked about before.’

‘But . . .’ A thousand difficulties and complications filled my head. ‘But where will you live? How will you do your A levels?’

‘I’ll stay with friends to start with until I can afford a place of my own. And I’ll find a sixth form college where I can do my A2s – the coursework, the exams.
I’ll go to work around the lessons and if I have to miss classes I’ll catch up.’

I stared at him. It sounded impossible, but I knew Flynn well enough by now to realise that if anyone could make such a plan work, it was him.

‘Okay,’ I said slowly. ‘But even if you sort out school, what will we tell Mum and Dad to make them let me see you properly again?’

Flynn shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ he said.

I took a deep breath. ‘Wherever you go and whatever you do, the same bad things will happen so long as you keep getting angry all the time,’ I said.

Flynn shot a sharp look at me. ‘I don’t get angry all the time,’ he said, his voice rising.

‘Yes, you do. You’re getting angry now.’

‘I’m
not
.’

‘You
are
, and all I’m asking is how we’re going to convince my parents you’ve really changed when—?’

‘I don’t freakin’ know how!’ Flynn snapped. He leaped up from the bench and paced across to the nearest tree.

My chest tightened. Here it was again, that terrible temper still raging in his heart. I glanced around us. A nearby group of mums and toddlers were watching him anxiously.

Flynn strode back to where I was still sitting on the bench. He glared down at me. ‘I don’t have all the freakin’ answers, River, but we’ll work it out as we go along. I
thought you believed in me?’

I opened my mouth to point out that by getting so furious he was totally proving my argument, when Flynn sank onto the bench and bowed his head.

‘I’m sorry,’ he mumbled, his fury vanishing as quickly as it had flared up. ‘I know you believe in me, I just . . . I have no idea how anything is going to work out. The
stupid thing I did a few days ago, the thing I mentioned on the phone – it was a fight . . . at my new school. The guys there are just as big idiots as the ones at St
Cletus’s.’

‘Right,’ I said. My heart sank. I’d been so afraid that Flynn had changed, that he’d stopped loving me. But the reality was, in its way, just as bad. Flynn hadn’t
changed at all. He was still getting into fights and blaming everyone else for making him angry.

Flynn took my hand from the bench where it rested and held it in his. ‘I will make it work,’ he said. ‘I will find a way. I realised when I was in Ireland that my first
priority, before everything else, is to be with you, for us to be together. That’s the most important thing.’ He hesitated. ‘It’s the same for you, isn’t
it?’

I gulped, my stomach cartwheeling. ‘Yes, except . . .’ I paused. It was always like this around Flynn, I realised. Huge emotions consuming me, leaving no room for anything else. I
was tired of the tidal wave of feeling that swamped me then pulled away again, leaving me exhausted.

Flynn pulled me gently to my feet. He pressed his hands around my waist and drew me towards him. ‘Except what?’ he said.

His eyes were so full of passion and I wanted him so badly. This was what I had dreamed of for months. And yet . . . of all the challenges facing Flynn right now, the biggest by far was one he
couldn’t see . . . and one I didn’t want to have to live with anymore.

‘River?’ Flynn’s eyes searched my face. ‘I want to be with you, River. That’s why I came back. I tried to make it work in Ireland, but I can’t. I spent all my
money getting here. And I’m not going back. I don’t care about anything else. Just you, River.’

He bent closer, his eyes pulling me towards him. My head was spinning. I could feel my insides melting as he gazed at me. And yet . . . and yet . . .

‘No.’ I pulled away, stepping back across the grass. I looked round the park at the straggle of mums and toddlers now heading towards the exit.

Flynn made everything sound so reasonable. As if the anger and the mistrust and all the distance between us over the past few months could be wiped away with a kiss and an apology.
‘No,’ I repeated, this time more forcefully. ‘You can’t just say you’re sorry and expect that to make everything all right in the future.’

‘I
can
make everything all right. Listen, Riv—’

‘No.
You
listen.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Sometimes your being cross about things is justified, but a lot of the time you get angry over nothing.’

Flynn stared at me. He didn’t speak.

‘Look at how you reacted just because I went to that party with Emmi and Alex,’ I went on. ‘You hung up on me. And before
that
it was difficult because I was scared of
upsetting you and us arguing when we couldn’t see each other to make up. And before
that
. . . well there was always your temper. It was the reason for you getting into fights and it
made . . . it makes . . . me feel you’re always on the verge of freaking out.’

‘But . . .’ Flynn’s expression was guarded. ‘What are you saying, Riv?’

‘I’m saying that Mum and Dad were right about you being out of control,’ I went on, meeting his gaze head on. ‘And I can’t handle it. I don’t
want
to
handle it. I mean, what if we‘re together and everything’s great and then something happens to annoy you and you flare up again for no reason.’

‘There’s always a reason.’ Flynn’s eyes burned into me. ‘I thought you understood.’

‘It’s not enough for me to understand,’ I insisted. ‘And I don’t always. Sometimes . . . sometimes I feel scared.’

Flynn’s mouth fell open. ‘I’d
never
hurt you,’ he said.

‘Maybe not physically,’ I admitted. ‘But when you lose your temper, I hate it. And the truth is that it makes me doubt you, because it makes me question
everything
. It
makes everything unstable
all
the time.’ I took a deep breath. ‘The truth, the real truth, is that I wasn’t sure whether to trust you over the iPads because you’re so
changeable all the time.’