Bursting With Love (21 page)

THE SMELL OF coffee greeted Savannah the next morning as she stumbled groggily out of the bathroom in her T-shirt and underwear. She found Jack leaning on the kitchen counter, freshly showered and wearing a clean pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. He held the newspaper in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He turned as she entered, and his eyes lit up.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He kissed her cheek and held up a cup of coffee. “I wasn’t sure how you liked it. Cream? Sugar?”

Savannah glanced at the clock.
Five thirty
. “Both, please. Did you go home and come back already?” She blinked through her sleepy haze.

“Unfortunately, I didn’t bring my Superman cape. That would be impossible with how late we stayed up.” He winked, then fixed her coffee. “I had a backpack on my bike. I went down and got it this morning.”

“You shouldn’t leave stuff out like that in the city. I’m surprised it was still there this morning. Sorry I kept you up so late.” She felt her cheeks flush.

“I’m not.” He handed her the cup and kissed her cheek. “By the way, I’m not naive. I had the bag locked on the bike.”

She couldn’t concentrate on the words he’d just said; she was lost in his clean, fresh scent. Savannah touched his cheek as he drew back. “I love the feel of your whiskers.”

“Then I’ll be sure to skip a day between shaves. Your phone vibrated earlier.” He nodded toward her cell phone on the dining room table.

“This early?” She picked it up and read the text. “It’s my brother Hugh.” She read the text. “Oh my gosh, he’s coming into town. I can’t wait to see him, but I thought his award ceremony was in Washington. I guess I messed that up. It’s here this Saturday. It’s a good thing he called, because I thought it was next weekend, and we’ve been so busy that I hadn’t even made flight arrangements yet.” She hurried across the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Jack’s waist. “Come with me to the ceremony? Please?”

“Whatever you want, angel. What’s he getting an award for? A particular race?”

“I don’t know which race this is for, just that he’s won another award.” She wrinkled her nose. “Does that make me a bad sister? It does, right?”

He wrapped his arms around her. “You’re not a bad sister. Does he know what cases you win?”

“Well, no, but those aren’t awards.”

“They’re accomplishments, and they count just as much.”

“Are you sure you’re the same arrogant guy who flew me into the mountains? Because you’re so sweet that I can’t really see that other part of you anymore.” She felt his body stiffen beside her.

“I’m still the same guy.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Remember when I told you that I didn’t used to be that guy?” He put down the newspaper and coffee and took her cup from her hands, then set it on the counter. He wrapped his arms around her waist and looked down at her. “The real me is starting to emerge, and it’s all because of you.” He kissed the top of her nose. “But don’t be fooled. I worry that the angry bastard is still lingering and that we haven’t seen the last of him yet.”

“Well, if he comes back, we’ll just have to tame him while we work through whatever gets his back up.” She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, listening to the calm beat of his heart, so different from the racing pulses she’d felt only hours before.

“I love when you say
we
, angel.” He rested his head on the top of hers.

“I love when you call me
angel
. Although my brothers will have a field day with that. I’m not really known for being angelic.”

“No. Really?” Jack widened his eyes and covered his mouth, feigning surprise.

“Shut up.” Savannah pushed away from him and laughed. “You can’t grow up with five brothers and not be tough. Being girlie wasn’t an option. My father made sure that I could do anything they could do, and I made sure I could do it just as well.”

Jack pulled her close again. “You are still very feminine.” He kissed her lips. “And very beautiful.” He kissed her cheek. “And you’re my angel because you saw through the smoke and mirrors I had hidden behind and you drew me out. So your brothers can take the name up with me. It’s staying.”

She loved that he’d stand up to anyone for her and that he saw something in her that she didn’t think anyone else ever would. She felt more feminine around him than she ever had in her whole life. Hell, she felt different in too many ways to count when she was with him. She looked at the clock and groaned.

“I have to get ready for work.” She furrowed her brow. “What does a bush pilot and survivalist do when he’s not flying planes or teaching people woodsy stuff?”

“Woodsy stuff? You’re so cute. Didn’t I teach you anything out there?” He took a sip of his coffee.

“More than you’ll ever know.” She smiled. “In extreme conditions a man can live three minutes without air, three weeks without food, and three days without water.”

 “You did learn a little something.” He set his coffee on the counter and took her in his arms. “Guess what I did?” He didn’t give her a chance to answer. “You already know that I called Siena. Well, I asked her to try to get everyone together so we could talk. I’m going to try to fix what I’ve ruined.”

“You did? Wow. When you say you’re going to fix things, you don’t waste any time, do you?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not really a middle-of-the-road kind of guy.” He smiled, but Savannah saw worry in his eyes. “I’m afraid this isn’t going to be an easy road, but it’s an important one.”

Savannah went to his side and touched his arm. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yeah, actually, I do, but I don’t want to make you late for work. It’s almost six.”

Savannah recognized the pain that swept over his face, leaving worry lines across his forehead. “I’m good. Let me just text Catherine and tell her I’ll be in a little late.” She texted Catherine; then the two of them went into the living room and sat on the couch. Savannah tucked her legs beneath her and faced Jack. He rested his elbows on his knees. His shoulders rode higher now, and Savannah scooted closer and rubbed the bundle of nerves at the base of his neck.

“You really are good to me, Savannah.” He looked at her briefly, then focused on his hands.

She kissed the back of his neck. “That’s because I like you at the moment,” she teased. Savannah knew from working with people who were usually smack dab in the middle of a crisis that it was better to wait for them to bare their truths when they were good and ready than to push. She massaged the knot in his shoulders and waited.

Jack rubbed the back of his left biceps with his right hand. Savannah could practically feel the scar on her palm. “I haven’t shared this with you because I wasn’t sure how, and every time I wanted to tell you, I worried about what you’d think of me.” He drew in a long breath, then blew it out slowly and turned so he was facing Savannah. “The night of Linda’s accident, there was a storm.”

Savannah knew she should tell him that Treat had already filled her in, but she felt the weight of his confession between them and saw it in the rounding of his shoulders. She had to let him get this off his chest.

 “It was only raining when she left, but the weather reports called for severe storm warnings. I never should have let her go.” His eyes remained trained on hers. “The storm got worse while she was gone. Doubled in strength.” He paused, swallowed hard, and his eyes welled with tears. “I can still smell the burning rubber and oil. I can see the flames. I never should have let her go. I had just come back from tour, and I was exhausted and so wrapped up in reports and data and still wound up in what we’d accomplished.” He shook his head. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let her drive with the storm warning.”

“Jack, you don’t have to tell me everything. I know you blame yourself. My cousin Blake knows Rush, and I guess he told him about the accident, and Blake told my brother.” Her stomach twisted at the depth of the pain she saw in his eyes.

“Does your whole family know?”

“Probably by now, but they don’t blame you.”

Jack shifted his eyes to the floor.

“She had a car accident. Anyone can have a car accident, any day and anytime. You couldn’t have known that she’d get stuck in the storm.” She took his hand in hers. “Look at me, Jack, please.”

Jack looked at her, and she scooted even closer. “You didn’t cause her accident.”

“Did Rush tell them that I found her?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’m so sorry.”

Tears hung in his eyes, and Savannah could see the tension in his face as he willed them not to fall. Seeing Jack so sad tore at her heart. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him.

“It’s okay to be sad, but that sadness doesn’t have to turn to guilt and anger and consume your every thought.” She rubbed his back, and when he drew away from her with red-rimmed eyes, she wished she could take the day off and stay with him.

He wiped his eyes. “Thank you. Her father and sister forgave me, but, Savannah, I’ve driven away everyone who loved me because I felt so guilty. It took a long time, but I understand now that I projected my guilt on them when all they really wanted to do was help me through the pain of losing her.”

“We all do things like that, Jack. You just did it to an extreme.” She ran her hand along his arm.

He nodded. “Maybe. But Rush? Rush will never forgive me. We said things to each other that we never should have said, and if you think I hold on to anger…” He shook his head. “And he has my father pushing him to be a man, which means…oh hell, who knows what that even means anymore.”

What he was going through sounded familiar to Savannah. Rex had held a silent grudge against Treat for years, and Treat had never known why until he finally confronted Rex. If brooding Rex could get over his anger, anyone could.

“If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that the fiber that weaves a family together is stronger than anything we could ever imagine. I know it feels like you might never get through to him, but I don’t believe it. You have to try, no matter how hard it is.”

Jack sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. “I intend to try, but I’m a realist, and you don’t know my father. Hell, lately I feel like I don’t know him either. I might have dug a hole with Rush that’s too deep for either of us to climb out of.” He took her hand and rose to his feet, bringing Savannah along with him. “You need to go to work, and I need to get home and finish cleaning out the house. Can I call you later?”

Savannah smiled at the formality of his question. “I would be upset if you didn’t.” She started toward the hall, then turned back. “Jack, are you really okay with all of this? I can stay home with you if you need me to, to help you at your place or be there if you need to talk.” She’d spent years nursing her career. It was time she gave her relationship—this relationship—the attention it deserved.

“See? You really are my angel. I’m a big boy, and you have a career to maintain. I’ll be fine. And yes, I’m really okay with all of this. I never expected life to be easy, Savannah. I just expected it not to be quite so hard. But as far as I can see, the hardest part is over. Now I have to walk over the stones I’ve tossed along the way. Some will sting more than others, but in the end, it’ll all be worth it. And, hopefully, Rush will find it in his heart to meet me halfway.”

JACK WENT THROUGH every cabinet, every drawer, and every storage container in the house, boxing up Linda’s mementos and separating the things he wanted to keep from the things he would give to Elise. He’d prepared himself for another bout of sadness, but Ralph’s forgiveness had helped him put some much-needed distance between himself and the guilt that had ruled him for so long. As that distance became real in his mind and in his heart, he was able to enjoy the fond memories instead of ruing them. The phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts.

“Well, you’re in luck,” Siena began. “Sage just got back in town from a gallery opening in Washington State, and Dex, Mom and Dad, and Kurt and I can all make it.”

“And Rush?” Jack clenched his jaw.

“He wasn’t very receptive to seeing you. I’m sorry, Jack.” Her voice faded as she said his name.

“It’s not your fault. I appreciate you trying, and at least I can talk to everyone else. That’s a start.” Jack wasn’t going to give up that easily. Maybe if he could bridge the gap with the others, Rush would feel pressure to at least see him.

“Sage leaves again on Saturday. Since it’s already Thursday, do you want to do it tonight or tomorrow?”

The last thing he wanted to do was delay seeing his family. Throughout the afternoon, he’d been thinking about them, and not only was he anxious to clear the air, but ever since he’d started deconstructing the walls he’d built around his heart, the ache of missing his family had set in.

“Tonight. Your place or Mom and Dad’s?”

“I can do it here at my loft if you want. Do you remember where it is? East Thirteenth, Greenwich Village.”

“Yeah, I remember. Thanks, Siena. This means a lot to me.”

“Me too, Jack. Does seven work for you?” she asked.

“Yes. Perfect. Want me to bring dinner?” Jack felt a surge of hope run through him.
It’s my chance to start over
.

“Nah. I’ll have something delivered. I gotta run, but I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too, honey. See you soon.”

After ending the call with Siena, Jack considered reaching out to Rush again, but if Siena couldn’t get through to him, there was no way he would. Rush adored their sister. He’d just have to make it through dinner, and maybe one of his brothers or his parents would have an idea of how to deal with Rush. And if they didn’t, then he’d find a way to make it happen.

He pressed Savannah’s speed-dial number, and when it went to voicemail, he felt a pang of disappointment.

“Hey, angel. Siena set up dinner with my family at her place for seven. As much as I would love to take you with me, I think I have to do this by myself. Rush isn’t going, but the others are. Call me when you’re free. Love you.” The final two words sent a hum of happiness through him, and as he made his way up to the attic to put away the box he’d packed, he was still smiling.

SAVANNAH WAS AT her desk poring over a client’s file when Aida came into her office and sat on the edge of the desk.

“How much do you hate me?”

Savannah suppressed a smile, her eyes still trained on the document she was reading. “I don’t hate you.”

“Okay,” Aida said. “How annoyed are you?”

“Not at all. I learned a lot from your inquisition.” Savannah looked up at her and couldn’t help but chuckle at the worried expression in her eyes. “Why are you so worried? I’m not mad, but you could have told me you were coming by.”

“And then you’d have warned him. I wanted to see what he was like with absolutely no prep.”

“You’re such a lawyer,” Savannah teased, and turned her attention back to the document.

“I like him.” Aida crossed her legs and put her hand over the document.

Savannah sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I do, too.”

“I think he’s pretty straight. I didn’t get any evasive vibes from him.”

“I could have told you that.” Savannah leaned on the arm of her chair, thinking about the message he’d left while she was in a meeting. He was going to see his family tonight, and she was so nervous for him that it might as well have been her who was going.

“He’s got it bad for you, by the way. I loved how attentive he was. And did you notice that he didn’t check me out at all? I mean, really, how did he maintain
that
?”

Savannah laughed. “He’s respectful. Not all men have no self-control.”

“I’ve never met a guy who didn’t at least check out the girls.” She looked down at her breasts. “I’d say he was gay, but by the freshly fucked look you’ve been sporting lately, that’s obviously not the case.” She rose to her feet. “Anyway, he seems like a good guy. I’m happy for you.” Aida began pacing.

“Have you heard from the magnificent lover from Greenberg’s office?”

“Yes, but I’m not going to see him again. Once you’ve been there, why go back? You know what he has to offer.”

Because it just keeps getting better and better.
“How can you be like that? Don’t you ever want to settle down?”

Aida shrugged. “I never thought I did, but watching you all googly-eyed and happy almost makes me want to.”

“I almost forgot to tell you that Connor came by my apartment right as Jack was picking me up for dinner. He kissed me, and Jack basically pulled him off and scared the shit out of him.”

“What is up with him? First he cheats, then he shows up? Did he call? Did you know he was coming?”

“Nope. If he had called, I would have told him not to come. I don’t want to see him, and when he kissed me, I wanted to sock him in the nuts. Bastard. Who does he think he is?”

“So did Jack hurt him?” Aida asked with wide eyes.

Savannah saw the hope in her eyes and shook her head. “No, just scared the shit out of him. Connor brought roses with him when he showed up. He can be charming when he wants to be.”

“Don’t go down the Connor trail,” Aida warned.

“No, I’m not. I mean that seeing his smile and the roses, and of course, feeling his kiss, I can totally see why I was so drawn to him. When he was with me, it was easy to believe his lies and buy into the whole apology thing. Don’t get me wrong. I was definitely an idiot for buying into it for so long, but after seeing him again, I realized that probably most women would have done the same thing, so maybe I don’t have big issues after all.”

“Baby, if you think all of us don’t have huge issues, you’re wrong. We all have our shit. Hey, wanna grab dinner tonight, or are you going out with lover boy?”

“He’s meeting his family, trying to make amends. Sure. Let’s grab something.”

The speaker on her phone beeped and Catherine’s voice came through. “Savannah, Treat’s on the line for you. Shall I put him through?”

“Talk about lover boys. That brother of yours is hot, hot, hot.”

“And married,” Savannah said as Aida walked out the door. “Grab me at the end of the day.” She picked up the phone. “Sure, Catherine, put him through.”

She waited for the click of the line, then said, “Hey, Treat, what’s up?”

“Hi, Vanny. Max and I are coming into town for Hugh’s award ceremony. It looks like everyone’s coming now, even Rex. I’m trying to pull a family dinner together. Hugh’s taking off Sunday, so we’re thinking about right after the award ceremony. Sound okay?”

Savannah loved her brothers so much. She couldn’t imagine not being on good terms with them any length of time. Once again her mind shifted to Jack, and she hoped his family would welcome him back without putting him through a guilt trip. That man put enough guilt on himself to keep him warm in the North Pole.

“Of course. Where and when? Do you mind if I bring Jack?” She held her breath while she waited for his answer. She and Jack had been moving so fast that she knew her brothers would be tougher on him than Aida had been, but he’d already become such a big part of her life that she couldn’t imagine not including him in a family function.

“I’d love to meet him. I got the feeling last time we spoke that you weren’t done with him. That’s another reason I called instead of having Josh tell you about dinner. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You’re such a good brother. I gave you shit for checking up on him, and you’re still making sure
I’m
all right?” Of course he was. Savannah knew that no matter what she did, Treat would never turn his back on her. And she had a feeling that Jack wouldn’t either.

“You were all tangled in knots when I saw you. I knew you were struggling to figure things out, and I worry about you. Besides, Josh said you spent a lot of time with Danica at the concert, and I put two and two together. A little free therapy goes a long way.”

She heard his smile. “I love her. She always makes me see things clearer.”

“Good. I’m glad you’re okay. Is he treating you well?”

“Of course. But you’ll get a kick out of this. He calls me
angel
.” She walked to the window and looked out over the busy streets, remembering how it felt to walk beside Jack the other evening and how she couldn’t wait to do it again.

“I have no doubt that you are his angel, Savannah.”

“Really? You’re not gonna tease me? I’ve never been particularly angelic.” Her hand drifted to cover her heart. Why did Treat seem to understand so much more than most people when it came to love? She wondered if it was because he’d known their mother best. Maybe the rest of them had missed out on more than just having a mother around, but having learned life lessons from her, too.

“Savannah, you are angelic. You’re tough and you’re brilliant and competitive, but you’ve always put yourself out there for others, and you have the biggest heart of almost any woman I’ve ever met. With the exception of Max, of course. You’re the girl who stayed up all night for a week with your college roommate to convince her that she wasn’t anything like all those horrible things that douche bag said she was. Remember? And still you aced your classes.”

She imagined his thoughtful dark eyes and wished he were right there in the room with her so she could give him a hug. She wondered if Treat saw her more clearly than she saw herself.

“I had almost forgotten about that. I guess when I think of angelic, I think of purity and sweetness, and when I think of myself, I think of…” She hadn’t really put words to her thoughts, and now, as she grasped for them, she could only reiterate Treat’s. “Strong and stubborn.”

“There’s only one thing I can say to that. Thank goodness you’ve found a man who sees the real you, Savannah. Look at me. Look at Rex and Dane. Hell, walk down the street and look at Josh. It takes the right person—a special person—to see through our defenses. Just like you’ve seen through his. Don’t you see why he calls you his angel?”

She leaned against the windowsill and smiled. “I guess I do. It has nothing to do with purity or sweetness and everything to do with seeing him for who he is on the inside. The man he’s been protecting with the anger and guilt.” She let out a loud breath. “Thanks, Treat. I didn’t even know I needed to hear that, but I guess I did.”