Business Doctors - Management Consulting Gone Wild (11 page)

Schneider gestured at Martin to switch off the presentation.

“Ok, guys, thanks for this. Let’s wrap up the meeting for now. Schneider, I’d like to have a word with you.”

Schneider was back in the lawn with Woody, walking towards the pond as they talked. Martin was still in the room packing up his laptop and the projector preparing to head back to office.

“In the Dungeon you highlighted a people problem. I want to know what exactly you were hinting at. I know you’d have been uncomfortable talking about it inside, so I felt we could talk about it openly out here.”

Woody had maintained a stone-faced expression on his face throughout the meeting and had patiently watched Schneider steam-roll his individual businesses. Schneider was happy to see that Woody had managed to grasp the critical point he was trying to convey. In fact, Woody wanted to find out more from him about his presentation. That can’t be so bad.

“Mr. Woody, I’m glad you were able to get a whiff of what I was trying to imply in there. A little more background to what I was talking about. In the sixties and seventies, as a result of deindustrialization, there was rising unemployment due to closure of plants in the Los Angeles area. And there weren’t too many opportunities out there that people could latch on to. Many of them turned to gangs.”

“At times you sound like a documentary film, ya know that? Anyway, what relevance does all that have for us?” Woody asked.

“Your grandfather launched WFB at around that time. So I’d say he was at the right place at the right time. He got some of the best brains in the business, without too much of a concerted effort. So there was a good deal of luck involved. This helped him establish and grow a new business in a relatively short span of time. There weren’t too many rival groups to compete with…and for the few that existed, the playground was big enough to keep everyone happy.” Schneider looked at Woody’s expression and tried to gauge if Woody was still with him. “Now things are different. There are bigger, badder players on the circuit -”

“Yeah, six hundred in California,” Woody quipped. Was he trying to show he was paying attention during Schneider’s presentation?

“That’s right and a big chunk of those gangs operate out of L.A. In short, the opportunity pool, er, I mean the ease with which you could make money, has shrunk big-time.”

“Yes, I understand that part.”

“The other aspect is capability. The tough guy from the street that you are hoping to pick up for your team may be able to take ten minutes of being kicked in the nuts and the guts. But it requires more than rock-hard nuts to run a business. I’m not saying you don’t need such guys. You absolutely do. The body executes the tasks while the brains do the thinking. In WFB, the focus has pre-dominantly been on the body. Apologies for being blunt again, but where are the brains?”

“Yup. I get that as well.” Woody was encouraging Schneider to go on.

“The adult movie business has gone through the roof in the last ten years. It is a $10 billion industry now, but you guys seem to have missed the bus. What’s worse, you have actually been losing revenue each year. You have never explored the possibility of using technology to grow and make bigger profits like the new tech savvy kids on the block have. Why? Coz there’s no one within the organization who understands all this techno-crap. The lone ranger who can program the VCR is still viewed as God. By the way, VCR technology is already obsolete just like the guy with those VCR related skills.”

“Just for the record,” Woody clarified “I have a DVD player. And I know Blu-Ray is the next big thing, right?”

Schneider was finding it increasingly confusing to decide if Woody was doing this genuinely or just playing around with him.

“You call your banker to manage your money, your financial portfolio. However there’s no one to manage your own collection of businesses.”

“What do you mean by that?” Woody asked.

“There are many things that you do and have been doing for several decades. Have you ever considered getting out of areas that don’t give back profits? Or entering into new areas that you currently don’t operate in?”

“Can you be a bit more specific?” Woody was curious.

“In the current day, many corporate gangs are getting into identity theft and online extortion, as they find them far more profitable than conventional options.”

“I like where this is heading. Please go on.”

Schneider realized he was shooting himself in the foot by launching this new off-topic discussion. If he didn’t put the brakes to this spontaneous detour, he could be in trouble. His job here was to analyze and present. He had
cautioned himself not to get into any discussions that involved suggesting illegal avenues, but it just slipped out. The urge to provide an answer and the fact that he saw huge potential business opportunities got the better of him. In the usual circumstances, he would have been thrilled to have the insights that dazzle his clients and leave them wanting more. But in this case, Schneider wanted the ordeal to get over at the earliest.

“Sorry, Mr. Woody. On this topic, apart from this direct and obvious hint that I just gave you, I will not be in a position to suggest any new avenues for you to get into. We are a very ethical and conscience-driven consulting firm, and we pride ourselves for that. This assignment has been an exception for us and we’d like to limit the damages to our corporate image to a minimum.”

“What about recommendations? You never talked about what we should do and how?” Woody hadn’t forgotten the first meeting with the consultants.

“The recommendations flow directly from what we presented inside. Our part of the deal is restricted to that final presentation. This is a thin line, we are treading, Mr. Woody. We can’t suggest anything that goes against the law. I hope you appreciate our position.”

“Hmm,” Woody wasn’t going to disclose what was going on in his mind.

“All that portfolio management stuff we talked about is secondary, Mr. Woody. You’ve got to first focus on infusing new blood into the organization. And I don’t mean, getting back on the streets for a mass recruitment drive. I’m talking about the right people with the right skills. The future brains of the business that will help you run WFB like a well-oiled machine.”

There was no response from Woody. He was looking down as he usually did when he was deep in thought. Or when he was utterly confused.

Schneider prepared himself to another round of verbal arm-twisting. The regular Woody-style request for help. Instead, Woody looked back up, reached out his hand to Schneider and said, “Thanks, Schneider. Appreciate your help. Let me give this more thought. We’ll send across your payment.”

Schneider shook his hand, but knew deep in his heart, something wasn’t right. Was this really the last he’d see of Woody?

Chapter 10

The next morning, Schneider was back in the office scouring the newspaper headlines, looking for some positive news. Though there wasn’t much in the papers to be thrilled about, he was relieved that Project Lean and Mean had been completed. It was time to get back to regular business. Time to get back into the marketing mode to try and grab a few good assignments. Win projects that will help him strengthen his company’s bank balance.

Like all modern offices that promoted the concept of transparency, Schneider Associates also had glass partitions that allowed anyone from any corner of the office to stand up in the cubicle and get a complete 360 degree view of the entire office. He saw Martin approaching his office and the glass door opening.

Martin peeped in, “Busy?”

“Come on in, Martin. What’s up?” Schneider gestured.

“Bad news from Acme. Colin called up in the morning. The management team there is clear that they do not see a need for our services from the coming month. However
they’ve promised that they’ll settle our pending fees as soon as we send them our invoices.”

“We were expecting that anyway. So, it doesn’t come as a shock.” Schneider said this without showing any signs of stress. Though in his heart, he had been sure of getting some small, repeat business. He wondered if there was another reason, besides recession, for the sudden demise of his firm’s business. “But there’s more that you want to tell me, right?”

“Yes. We are running low on cash reserves. Paying salaries might not be an issue for the next two months, but bonus payouts will be a challenge,” Martin revealed.

“I know. I had that at the back of my mind as well. I’m thinking of communicating this to our guys now rather than saving all the bad news till next month, when the bonuses are due,” Schneider looked back out of the window towards the Hollywood sign. When they had newly moved into this new office, Martin had pointed out, “If you squint your eyes and check out the sign, it reads
Hell good
.” This was a far cry from the current state.

Since the time Schneider Associates moved into their first
real
office, Schneider had thought through many of his problems while looking at this view. Today was one of those days when the view of the mountains was crystal clear. Ironically, the direction in which Schneider Associates was heading wasn’t half as clear. The spiraling issues that the general economy was going through did little to help Schneider’s situation.

“Are you thinking of layoffs?” Martin was curious.

“I don’t want to go down that route if I can help it. In the short history of Schneider Associates, we’ve never handed out pink slips. It has been a high performing team and we’ve hand-picked each of our consultants after a lot of effort and diligence.”

Martin knew Schneider did not have a ready answer. “I’ll head back to my desk. Gotta fill up the time-sheets and prepare the invoice for WFB. At least, it’ll give us enough juice to keep going for a while more. I’m not too proud of the assignment and it’ll never
officially
go down as the most challenging project in the history of Schneider Associates. But it did save our boat from capsizing…if we get paid. So let me work on that.”

* * *

Later on in the day, Schneider’s phone rang.

“Michael Schneider …Good morning.”

“Hey Michael, this is Angie.”

“Angie Woody?” There were more than one
Angies
in Schneider’s social and professional circles, but that was the first name that came to his mind. Along with the name, Angie Woody’s svelte figure and luscious lips were the visuals that sparked in his mind. He wondered why she would be calling him on the phone. The awkward assignment was over. The payment would be the final nail in the coffin and Schneider could move on.

“Yes. How did it go? The final meeting, I mean.”

“It was good. We shared our findings with Mr. Woody and his team. The ball is in his court now.”

“Do you want to meet up for one last goodbye drink?”

“Umm, let me check my - ”

“C’mon, Michael. Stop playing that card every time. You know you have all the time in the world, don’t you? One little drink won’t hurt. For a tough assignment successfully completed.”

“Well…ok…I’m free in the evening. Where do you want to meet?”

* * *

As the door to Woodyvilla opened, Schneider was dumbstruck to see Angie. She was dressed to kill. With kohl-laden eyes and a vicious pout laced with dark lip-gloss, Angie appeared delicious and vulnerable. As he stepped in, he noticed that Angie was wearing a dark thick-set jacket giving her a seductive gothic look.

Schneider’s brain went into overdrive. Was this one of the exotic costumes from her collection that she used to keep Woody under a leash? What else did she have in her wardrobe for her nocturnal, role-playing adventures? Where was she hiding her leather whip and spanking paddle for the BDSM session that was to follow?

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll make your favorite, Laphroaig”, said Angie charmingly. Schneider could only nod. He had no idea what he was doing there and why he
had acceded to come here in the first place. But now that he was here, and looking at Angie, he could not get himself to leave. Angie on the other hand looked confident and pretty clear that she wasn’t going to waste any time beating around the bush. This was the last meeting, and she was ready to make it memorable.

“Let me also get comfortable. I hope you don’t mind as you’ve seen this before,” Angie winked and removed her full-size jacket. As Schneider had expected, beneath it she was wearing gothic lingerie, set inside a tightly bound corset and stockings. She came and sat near Schneider. By then, he had lost all thought of Woody’s guns and was in complete spell of Angie’s voluptuous figure spilling out of the corset. He made the first move, and they kissed passionately. Schneider’s expert hands moved deftly and unhooked Angie’s stockings. One by one, caressing her back, he untied the corset while Angie went about taking his few pieces of clothing off. He picked her up and she pointed towards the bedroom. As he walked, Schneider could not
help but wonder if the bundle of soon-to-be-ecstasy he was carrying in his arms was the fee for executing Woody’s assignment, for which Martin was probably still toiling away, creating invoices. Was this the cash-strapped Woody paying him in kind?

*
* *

Schneider lay in the oversized bed looking at the grand chandelier right above. It had close to thirty individual bulbs that were glowing with different intensities. It created a strange, ethereal kind of an ambience in the large room. The bed-sheet and mattress under him was extremely soft and comfortable to lie on.

“My days are definitely numbered this time. I have no freakin’ clue what I’m doing here,” Schneider’s voice appeared weak and the preceding aerobic activities had nothing to do with it.

“Relax, Michael. I told you he’s away,” Angie tugged at the sheets to cover her bare shoulders.

“I always knew I had just enough blood in my body to make either my brain work or my tool. And we know who won this round…yet again.”

“Stop it, Michael. Nothing happened to you last time either. Remember?” Angie tried to calm Schneider down. Her words did nothing to hint that Woody was party to this alternative payment arrangement.

Not a bad bonus for all the hard-work
, thought Schneider. But he still wasn’t sure it was the best idea to be where he was, doing what he did.

“Last time around, it wasn’t in a gangster’s house! There wasn’t any gangster in the picture to begin with,” said Schneider shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m still not sure if this was all for real.”

The next few seconds were spent in silence. And then Angie spoke up again.

“So you’d do the research work for him, right?”

“Is this what it’s all about? He asked you to get in touch with me? I should’ve known,” said Schneider getting agitated.

“No, he didn’t. I wanted to see you again. And I don’t want this to be the last time.”

Schneider covered his face with his palms. He couldn’t believe this.

“And if I can officially hold you back…your business stays afloat, Woody gets his advice and I get…you,” the mischievous glint was back in Angie’s eyes. “It’s a win-win situation for everyone.”

“You really are a little devil, you know that?” Schneider’s voice had a hint of discomfort.

After a while, Schneider suddenly sat up, turned to Angie and wondered.
Acme Manufacturing, did she have anything to
…He could not complete the thought as Angie had gotten hold of his manhood by then, and started giving it some expert treatment. His tool proving yet again that it had a mind of its own, one that was much more strong-willed than his brain, made him surrender, and he dropped back on the bed, back to appreciating the grandiose splendor of the chandelier.

* * *

Next day, at the Schneider Associates’ office, Martin was pacing across Schneider’s room.

“Michael, there are other ways to make money. We can’t keep allowing the bastard to threaten us into working for him. We have to put our foot down at some point of time.”

“He didn’t. I’ve told him we can’t get into any illegal activities and the last assignment has been an exception.
He has requested us to carry out some research on his behalf and that’s something we can do remotely. We don’t need to spend time in the Dungeon with his thugs. We don’t have to face any of them again. We can consider this as an extension of the previous assignment and execute this remotely.”

“What kind of research does he want us to do for him?” Martin still didn’t seem convinced.

“We highlighted people related issues to him in our presentation and recommended that he get new capable people onboard. He has requested us to generate a short-list of potential candidates that he can approach and pull into his organization.”

“So what do you intend to do? Send across some of our consultants there instead of laying them off?” Martin threw a random idea up in the air.

“Not a bad idea really -”

“Wha -”

“Just kidding. Woody isn’t looking for more consultants and advisors. He’s looking for a team that’ll stay back and turn around his business. Anyway, our guys aren’t the kind who’d want to work in their businesses anyway.”

“Exactly. I’m glad there’s some sanity still left around this office. No one but criminals would want to work with him.” Martin thought about what he had just said and realized the implications. “Are you planning to carry out the research on criminal databases?”

“That may be an option worth exploring.”

“But that’s highly classified information, and our consultants would probably not have access to such information sources. There is some high-level data in the public domain, but that would hardly help us for this project. The real works of art that Woody might be interested in, would need a little more digging.”

“You are right. We won’t do it ourselves. We’ll recommend someone who can do it for them.”

“Only a hacker will be able to get into those kinda databases and download information.”

“Martin, if you continue to think in this manner, I’ll have to offer you a partnership stake in the firm soon.”

“Yeah, right…assuming the two of us aren’t in maximum security prisons by then. I thought you said we are going to stay away from the illegal stuff.”

“We are. We aren’t doing any of the hacking and we won’t even get any of that data on to our servers. The entire activity happens at WFB.”

The voice Martin was hearing sounded familiar, but he wasn’t sure if the brain behind those words still belonged to the same Michael he knew.

* * *

A week later at the WFB office, Joe’s phone rang. “Hey Sonja, what’s up?” he asked. It was his receptionist calling.

“Blizzard is here to see you. Also mentions that she was recommended by Schneider Associates.”

“Oh, send in the kid.” Joe kept the phone down without waiting for a response and turned to his neighbor.

“Remember those consultants who’d come over last week? They gonna send us some kid to hack into government servers and give us the data. Blizzard! Hackers and their ultra-cool names,” Joe shook his head.

Just then an elderly lady in her late seventies and dressed in a long flowing brightly colored dress walked into the office. She had a stout appearance and a plump face. Her glasses gave her a learned look, but the hunch gave her age away. The only thing bright about her, were the eyes that seemed to dance with excitement as she spoke.

“Where d’ya think you’re going, mama? We don’t need no cookies here.”

“I’m Blizzard, here to meet Joe.”

“
You
are the hacker?” Joe was astonished.

“I’m guessing you were expecting someone a little younger?” the lady replied in a calm soothing voice.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Joe wondered if it was a practical joke.

“Not really. But I get that a lot. You could say I was a late bloomer.”