Business Without the Bullsh*t: 49 Secrets and Shortcuts You Need to Know (28 page)
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Authors: Geoffrey James
35
How to Handle Alarming E-mails
Like all communications media, e-mail is imperfect. Like most written media it’s ill suited to convey emotion accurately, unless the writer is extremely talented. In addition, e-mail’s immediacy makes ill-considered messages inevitable.
This secret explains how to handle three common types of e-mail message that are disturbing to receive and that, if you handle them poorly, can damage your relationships or your career:
This is when you get a very short message from somebody in authority (such as your boss or a big customer) suggesting that something is wrong and requires your attention, but without providing any details. Examples:
“We need to talk.”
“Please call me.”
“Big problem.”
Since the e-mail is from somebody important, your first reaction is probably to pick up the phone. This is a mistake, for two reasons.
First, while you may be able to guess what’s going on, you don’t know for certain, so there’s a good chance you’ll be blindsided. Worst case, you may enter the conversation by addressing a problem that doesn’t exist, or didn’t until you brought it up.
Second, even if your guess is correct, you don’t know enough about how the other person sees the situation to have a productive conversation.
Your best strategy is therefore to provide some times in the near future when conversation can take place, and ask the other person for some details so you can adequately prepare. For example, suppose you get this:
From:
Big Boss
Subject:
Conversation
We need to talk.
Subject:
re: Conversation
BB: Calling you now.
Subject:
re: Conversation
BB: I’ll be free to talk in about 30 minutes. Could you give me an idea of what we’ll be discussing, so I can make certain the conversation is productive?
This approach has two advantages. First, you might be able to handle the problem via e-mail, which allows you more time to think about your responses. Second, if you do end up having the conversation, you’ll be less likely to make things worse.
Sometimes e-mails are full of “facts” and “observations” that are contrary to your current understanding, consist of out-and-out errors, or contain skewed versions of events or conversations.
For example, suppose you get an e-mail from a coworker accusing you of mishandling a situation that you’re pretty certain you handled well.
Your first reaction will probably be a desire to shoot back a withering e-mail providing your side of the argument, and expressing your anger and irritation at having been accused of something untrue and stupid.
However, the result of acting in such a defensive manner is that you can find yourself embroiled in a he-said/she-said e-mail war. Worst case, other people get copied on the e-mail stream, which brings them into the argument.
Rather than taking umbrage and thereby creating more conflict, it’s wiser to express that you’re confused, need clarification of the facts, and are willing to work on the problem. For example, suppose you receive the following e-mail:
Subject:
Missing Information
You were supposed to provide a requirements document to my department by the end of last week and I haven’t seen anything yet. As a result, my engineering group can’t make its deadlines.
Subject:
re: Missing Information
cc:
[Big Boss]
The engineering group’s deadlines aren’t my concern. If you needed the requirements document by last week, you should have said something two weeks ago. I’m frankly a bit tired of you blaming me for these communications breakdowns.
Subject:
re: Missing Information
I’m confused about this situation because I was not aware that you needed the requirements documents in that time frame. It will take several days to get the requirements together; what’s the best way to get engineers back on track?
These are e-mails chock-full of raw, uncensored negative emotions. They’re the electronic equivalent of somebody screaming at you. (See “Secret 7. How to Cope with a Bully.”)
After reading this type of e-mail, it’s hard not to feel angry in return, or hurt that somebody would be so unkind, or even secretly pleased, because now you have documentation that the other person is a jackass.
However, your best response to flame-o-grams is a combination of empathy and professionalism.
Empathy is appropriate because, in almost every case, whoever sent the e-mail probably regretted it about two seconds after hitting “send.” On the other hand, you can’t ignore the tone of the e-mail or you’re telling the sender that it’s OK to vent at you. And that’s where your professionalism comes in.
Your challenge is to read through the emotion and find the real problem, so you can address it. At the same time, you must set
boundaries so the flamer knows further flames will not be tolerated. For example, suppose you receive the following e-mail:
Subject:
Huge Problem
I can’t believe that you guys !$%#! things up so badly again. I just spent an hour on the phone with IBM—our biggest customer—trying to undo the damage that you idiots did to the contract!
Subject:
re: Huge Problem
I’m really sorry and am doing everything I can to make it better.
Subject:
re: Huge Problem
I understand that you’re upset and I am addressing the problem. That being said, the tone of your e-mail and some of the language you used were unprofessional. I’m sure you’ll understand if I ignore any future e-mails that are similarly worded.
Important: wait at least three hours before sending the response. You want to give the hothead some time to cool down (and start feeling stupid) before you draw the boundaries.
ALARMING E-MAILS
ASK
for clarification of cryptic conversation requests.
PLEAD
confusion to avoid head-to-head confrontation.
IF
flamed, address the problem but set boundaries.
VI
How to Handle Emergencies
Sometimes “business as usual” isn’t. Sooner or later you find yourself in a situation where the normal rules don’t apply or where you need quick assistance to fix a problem.
Your ability to deal with such emergencies often depends on how well you’ve prepared yourself. For example, many emergencies lose their urgency if you’ve laid the groundwork to quickly find another job (see “Secret 22. How to Achieve Career Security”).
That being said, sometimes you need a quick action plan to overcome problems or set your career back on track. This part of the book covers the seven most crucial ones:
“What to Do If You Hate Your Job”
provides a step-by-step process that lets you make certain your negative emotions don’t get in the way of either enjoying what you can about your current job or finding a job that suits you better.
“What to Do If You’ve Screwed Up”
explains how to keep your wits about you when you’ve made a public mistake, how to keep
yourself from making the situation worse, and finally how to apologize effectively and move on.
“What to Do in a Personal Crisis”
is a plan for coping with disasters and problems that suddenly pop up in your personal life. It helps free up the time you’ll need to cope, without creating additional problems at work.
“What to Do If There’s a Layoff”
helps you identify when a layoff is coming and how you should maneuver and position yourself so it’s least likely to affect you, while you simultaneously seek a better job elsewhere.
“What to Do If You’re Stressed Out”
explains why you can’t afford to have constant stress in your life, followed by a recipe for removing most, if not all, of the stress from your work environment.
“What to Do If You’re Fearful”
provides a step-by-step method for moving forward with your plans and goals, even when you’re afraid that you might not succeed at the highest level.
“What to Do If You Feel Rejected”
is first aid for the debilitating worry that other people might not like or respect you. You’ll learn not just how to ignore rejection, but how to use it to your advantage.