CaddyGirls (20 page)

“That’s pretty incredible. But you totally deserve it. Nobody’s worked harder to come back than you have.”

“Thanks, Cher.”

“What happened between you and Julian, anyway? We haven’t really had a chance to talk about it. Everything seemed great before you went to see him in California.”

“It had nothing to do with California. The problem happened right here.” Torrey stopped herself quickly before elaborating.

“Come on, Tee, don’t be so mysterious. You know I can keep my mouth shut.”

Torrey sighed and tossed back the remaining champagne in her glass. “I know you can. Hey, I’m up for another of these.” She raised her glass. “How about you?”

“Why not?”

She scanned the room, trying to locate their server. “Okay, then, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version of the sordid little affair I got caught up in. Julian and his partners didn’t book us just to caddy for them. It turned out they had a whole other agenda—a crazy bet going on behind our backs. If you can believe it, the winner would be the first guy who got his caddy in the sack.”

Cherie gasped. “You have got to be kidding!”

Torrey gave her a weak smile. “Pathetic, isn’t it? Unfortunately it’s also true. And the worst part is that Julian didn’t say a word to me about it—not even after I spent the weekend at his house.”

“God, maybe he was just too embarrassed. He sure should have been.”

“Maybe. But that’s no excuse. From day one, our relationship was built on deceit. It makes me crazy to think he deliberately picked me off the web site with his secret little goal in mind.”

“So you broke it off completely? With no second thoughts?”

Torrey sighed. “God, no. I’ve had a thousand second thoughts. But I felt so damn betrayed and humiliated. And even after I confronted him, he wouldn’t apologize. He treated it like it was all just a minor annoyance. I can’t live with that, Cher. I had to break it off before I fell even deeper in love with him.”

Cherie knitted her brows. “Forgive me for saying this, Tee, but you know I’ve always been straight with you. What those guys did was rotten, but are you sure you aren’t letting your pride get in the way? I get the feeling you’re still in love with Julian.”

Torrey had tried all week to deny that, but the truth squeezed her heart. “You may be right,” she said miserably. “I can’t seem to help myself.”

“Does the news from Crocus make any difference to how you feel?”

Torrey had thought of little else since Lindsay Moore called. She’d been amazed at how quickly her thoughts had turned from elation over the call to her feelings about Julian. The first thought that crossed her mind was to call him and gloat.

See, I could do it without you!

But that juvenile reaction had evaporated like morning mist, and a deeper realization began to set in—that she’d been crazy to throw everything away just because Julian had acted like a jerk. And now she could finally admit that she’d handled the whole confrontation pretty badly herself. No, she couldn’t forgive him without the sincere and heartfelt apology that he seemed incapable of giving. But she shouldn’t have refused to take his calls—that had been petulant and rude. Now that she no longer needed his patronage, she was finally able to think about things more rationally.

“Maybe it does make a difference,” she finally answered. “Maybe it does.”

Julian had never liked to ask for a favor, not even from an old friend like Dan O’Hara. His mother and father had drilled it into him that to be truly successful you had to get there entirely on your own, without a handout or even a hand-up from anybody. So calling Dan had been hard, even though the favor he sought wasn’t for him. It had surprised him how much he’d hoped Dan would say yes.

O’Hara hadn’t hesitated. Julian didn’t even have to use the word
favor
. His friend had picked up right away that there was something deeply personal behind Julian’s request and agreed to put Torrey on his sponsorship list without pressing for more information.

As Julian stood at his office window, staring at the setting sun, a persistent thought nagged at him. Torrey would almost certainly be suspicious of the sudden offer from Crocus. When Dan had called him back to say the deal was done, he’d simply said she had been elated. The marketing manager that had spoken to her hadn’t detected even a hint of hesitation. Certainly no questions had been asked.

Though he doubted she’d know of any link between OTE and Crocus, Torrey could probably Google some connection between him and Dan. Still, there was nothing to be done about it. He had to try to help her—to repair the damage from his stupid mistake.

With each day that passed, he better understood the dimensions of his obsession with the Apollo merger. He’d been so enmeshed in it that he hadn’t been able to hear Torrey’s pain. It had taken a long time for it to sink in that she perceived the bet—and his silence in the face of it—to be a betrayal of her trust. He’d heard her words but had blown them off as overreaction. He hadn’t intended to hurt her, and he’d delivered on the sponsorship, so it hadn’t even occurred to him that she’d see the bet as fatal to their relationship. A blow, yes, but not a killing stroke.

It made him crazy that Torrey had slammed the door in his face and shown no inclination since to open it even a crack. She’d gone incommunicado, refusing to return his calls.

Nothing in his past had prepared Julian for such a rejection. No woman had ever even tried to do that to him. At first, he hadn’t been sure whether the constant gnawing in his gut came from the idea of being dismissed from Torrey’s life or from actually missing her. But now he knew—he hated being without her. Even though he had tried a thousand times to deny it, his gut and his heart told him it was true.

There was a soft rap of knuckles on his door, then Brendan strolled in.

“Another spectacular sunset,” he said, sauntering over to the sofa.

“Working late again?”

“I just thought I’d see how you’re doing before I head home.”

“Thanks, but I’m fine,” Julian said with a conviction he didn’t feel.

“Well, you don’t look so fine to me. In fact you look like your mind is miles from here. Like in a neighboring state, maybe?”

“Maybe.” Julian sat down at his desk. “Dan O’Hara said he’d sign Torrey up. I barely had to ask.”

“I thought he’d come through,” Brendan said with a grin. “Now, are you going to call her?”

Julian stiffened, and Brendan shook his head. “Come on—just call her and apologize for the bet. You know you want to.”

Julian got up and poured himself a scotch from the liquor cabinet hidden in a wall unit opposite his desk. He raised the bottle of Johnnie Walker Black toward Brendan, who shrugged.

“Oh, I might as well have a quick one. I don’t have anything to rush home to.”

Julian handed him a crystal tumbler with two fingers of scotch, neat. “Sometimes I wonder whether that’ll ever change. We’re here so much we might as well build apartments inside the building.”

“Stop avoiding my question,” Brendan replied.

Julian took a long drink from his glass. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Answer my question, or call her?”

Brendan was trying to tread lightly around the subject, but Julian knew how much his buddy cared for him and how concerned he was about his morose state of mind. “Call her, smart ass.”

“Why the hell not?”

“She’s acting like a brat. I’ve tried to reach out to her, but she just ignored me. It’s up to her to call me back.” He stopped short, annoyed by how petty he sounded.

Brendan looked like he wanted to throttle him. “Talk about bratty,” he muttered. “Look, we’ve known each other all these years, and I’ve never seen you like this over a woman. Any woman. Every day I see it eating you from the inside out. So stop being so damn proud and reach out to her, for God’s sake. You know you’re going to regret it if you sit here on your ass and let her go.”

Brendan could be a nag and a fussbudget, but over the years Julian had learned his friend was usually right. Maybe spending all that time dealing with practicalities gave him the common sense to cut to the chase.

As much as Julian tried to convince himself that his feelings for Torrey weren’t that different from what he’d felt for some other girlfriends, he knew it was time to stop lying to himself. In a few short days, Torrey Green had draped herself around his heart like Spanish moss on the branches of a live oak. The complicated and tense merger negotiations had distracted him for a time, but since they’d concluded the deal, he’d barely been able to get her out of his mind for even a minute. In fact, he hadn’t been able to keep his mind on work at all, and that was a first.

Brendan was right. It was time to make a move, and soon. And not some lame-ass phone call asking her to reconsider. No, it was time for dramatic action.

Torrey woke up from her night out with Cherie hung over, bone tired and troubled. Once the initial exhilaration of the call from Crocus had ebbed away, the kismet of the new sponsorship offer began to nag at her again. Back at her apartment, she’d sat up into the early morning hours thinking Julian had to be involved and wondering how he had managed to pull it off. As much as she tried to deny it, there was no other logical explanation. Somehow he’d found some strings and pulled them. A man as powerful and well connected as Julian Grant must have countless markers he could call in when he needed to.

But the big question was, why? After that last phone call between them and her refusal to return his calls, she’d been sure that he’d never want to think about her again. Was it possible he still had feelings for her, or did he just feel guilty about her rejecting OTE’s sponsorship?

Forcing down water and Advil, Torrey changed into her running gear and headed out for a much-needed jog. When her head cleared, she’d call the Desert Oasis and CaddyGirls to quit her jobs—again. She’d have to plead with the casino to let her leave without notice. Even after she’d rejected Julian’s sponsorship, she’d decided against pulling her entry from the open tournament next week in Sacramento. Determined to give it her best shot now that she had a sponsor again, she had to spend the week on the golf course hitting the ball, not lugging some guy’s bag for CG.

But before she called her bosses, she had one other call to make.

Brendan answered his cell phone right away. Taking a deep breath, Torrey took the plunge.

“Hi, Brendan, it’s Torrey Green. I hope I’m not interrupting you. You said to call anytime I needed help.”

She swore she heard a gulp at the other end of the line.

“No problem,” he replied in a wary voice. “How are you?”

“I’m great. In fact, if I were any better they’d have to declare me illegal.”

He gave a forced laugh.

“Look, Brendan,” she continued, “I won’t keep you, and I really don’t want to put you on the spot. But have you by any chance heard about the sponsorship offer I just got from Crocus Financial?”

His hesitation lasted only a second, but it was enough to tell her what she needed to know. “Crocus is going to sponsor you? That’s fantastic, Torrey.”

“Yes, and I must say it was quite a surprise. They hadn’t even responded to my earlier requests, and then out of nowhere they called with a firm offer. Amazing, don’t you think? Can you tell me anything about that, Brendan?”

“I’m afraid I can’t,” he answered with no conviction.

“Of course, the timing made me wonder if Julian had something to do with it. Does he have some sort of connection to Crocus?” Torrey knew she was probably trying his patience, but she wasn’t prepared to settle for evasive answers.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Julian these questions?” he said, his voice sharper now.

“I suppose. But, frankly, I thought I might have a better chance of getting the truth out of you.” She couldn’t tell him the real reason. She hadn’t been able to work up the courage to dial Julian’s number.

“As I said, I really can’t tell you anything about that.”

She pressed ahead, lacing her tone with friendly skepticism. “So, you’re saying that Julian had absolutely nothing to do with Crocus calling me?”

Brendan sighed. “What I said was that I can’t tell you anything about that.”

“Brendan, I really hoped you’d be honest and straightforward with me. If Julian made this happen, I think I deserve to know.”

The line went quiet for a good five seconds. Finally, he replied. “Okay, Torrey—let me be very clear with you. I’m not saying Julian did anything whatsoever. But I can say that helping a friend in need is the kind of thing Julian often does.”

Even though his carefully crafted answer didn’t surprise her, Torrey felt a warm glow spread through her chest. “Thank you, Brendan.”

“For what?” His voice hinted of amusement.

“Do you think I should call him?” she asked on an impulse. “He must be furious with me for not returning his calls.”

“I don’t know about that. But I do know he misses you. Beyond that, it’s up to you two to figure out.”

“You’re right. Thanks again, Brendan—I really appreciate this.”

Torrey disconnected the call, weak with relief and nervous excitement. Julian
had
helped with the Crocus sponsorship, and Brendan wanted her to know that. Just as he obviously wanted her to know that Julian missed her.

For the next half hour she paced the length of her tiny apartment, tapping the wall of her bedroom and then the wall of the living room as she went back and forth like a cricket player. If calling Julian was the right thing to do, why was it so damn hard? Was she letting her pride—and her fear of getting hurt—stand in the way of a second chance with him?

She carried the handheld phone as she wandered from room to room, but whenever she stopped to dial his number, her fingers froze before they touched the keypad.

Disgusted with herself, she pulled a chair up to the kitchen table and began to put pencil to paper, crafting her opening lines. After a dozen tries, with wads of crumpled paper scattered across the table, she had something she could live with. Even though it was only eleven in the morning, she uncorked a bottle of wine, poured herself a full glass and took two swallows before she punched in Julian’s cell number.

She found herself hoping he wouldn’t answer. A voice mail message would be so much easier. She just had to read the words in front of her with conviction.

Coward
.

It felt like his voice mail would never kick in, but finally she heard his message and got a beep. She began to read her lines.

“Hi, Julian. It’s Torrey. I hope you’re doing well. Congratulations on the merger with Apollo. I’m sure you must be very happy and proud. I wanted you to know I had some wonderful news myself yesterday. Crocus Financial Corporation called to offer me sponsorship for the rest of this year, right through Q-School. Isn’t that amazing? Anyway, I’m not sure if you had anything to do with it, but if by any chance you did, I want you to know I appreciate it. And I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls. That wasn’t right.”

She paused, hesitating over the last line she’d written. Finally, giving up before the time ran out, she whispered, “Thank you,” and hung up.

Damn. Why hadn’t she been able to read the final words she’d written?

I miss you, Julian.