Cado (17 page)

“Tell me your name, angel.”

“Lucian.”

She nodded, a brilliant smile parting her lips. “Lucian,” she murmured. “I like it.”

And I liked her smiling at me. Very much.

Lucian

The more time I spent with Nyssa, the more I felt myself changing. I began to yearn for things that were forbidden to my kind. I wanted to touch her, taste her—she plucked carnal chords within me to which I never knew existed. I wanted to know her as a man knows a woman. I needed her. She was my sun. Without her smile it was as if I was in eternal darkness. But I knew I could never have those things with her. Father had made a plan for all of his humans and ones such as me were not to be part of it. Angels were to be separate, to watch, to help, but not to live side by side with humans.

“Have you ever been in love, Lucian?” Nyssa’s question startled me back to the present. We had been sitting in companionable silence in the dark, under a tree. We’d been meeting nightly this way. We would speak about whatever was on our minds, or simply be content to be in each other’s presence. It wasn’t nearly enough for me anymore.

“Why do you ask?”

She picked at some blades of grass and fidgeted nervously. “I think I may love someone and I wanted to know if you have ever loved.”

She loves someone?
Jealously burned in my veins, red hot and all consuming.
Nyssa is mine. She belongs to me.
“Who? Who is this man?” I said tightly, trying to keep the harshness from my voice.

“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled. “There is no way his feelings are the same. I know that he cares about me, but he could never love me.”

I turned to face Nyssa. Her long dark hair had fallen forward to conceal her face from me. I recalled thinking that she wasn’t as fair of form as her sister, but she had changed too. She grew more and more beautiful each time I saw her. I knew she hadn’t actually changed physically, but merely her inside beauty was shining more brightly to me than when I’d first seen her. I reached for her face and withdrew. I couldn’t be trusted to touch her. “Any man who doesn’t love you is a fool,” I whispered.

“That’s the problem, he isn’t really a man.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. Could she—could she mean me? Hope roared to life within me, replacing my jealously, it burning just as hot and furious. I never dared to think that she could or would have such feelings for me. I thought myself her friend, her confidante—but… “Nyssa. Tell me, please. Say the name of the soul who you think you love.”

She dipped her head briefly before bringing it up so that our gazes collided. “Lucian. It’s you, Lucian. And I just don’t think—I know that I love you.” Embarrassed, she dropped her head once more. “I know you could never love me in retur—”

Unable to help myself any longer I cupped her face within my hands and drew her towards me. “I love you, Nyssa. So much it pains me to look upon you sometimes. But I cannot act upon it for it is forbidden.”

She swallowed loudly and nibbled on her lower lip. “What will happen if you defy the rules? What would happen—” She placed one of her small hands over one of mine. “What would happen if I asked you to kiss me?”

My heart pounded loudly within my chest. Just the mention—the invitation to kiss her made me tremble with desire. “I don’t know. The law has never been broken before.”

“Surely you couldn’t be punished if
I
kissed
you
?” An impish smile ghosted her lips before she moved closer to me.

“Nyssa…” But I wanted her to kiss me. I wanted her lips on mine—and so much more.

I didn’t stop her when she brought her sweet lips to brush timidly against mine. And I didn’t stop her when she hesitantly explored my body. Nor did I stop her when she gave herself fully to me. I took what she gave me, relishing it like the prize that it was.

My immortal heart no longer beat for me alone, but for her instead.

“We all know what you did, Lucian,” Michael hissed. “Do you hate humans so much that you seek to destroy them any way you can?”

I grabbed Michael by the throat and squeezed. I knew immediately what he spoke of. “I love her. Shouldn’t that make you all happy? I have fallen in love with a human. You thought our kind—and me specifically, incapable of such a thing.”

Michael couldn’t school the surprise in his eyes. “Love her? Then why have you ruined her?”

“I want her, Michael, for mine. I haven’t ruined her. I—”

“It’s forbidden! You will not—”

My attention was diverted back to Earth. Something was wrong—very wrong. Michael grabbed me, preventing me from leaving.

“You cannot have her. Her soul is meant for another.”

“No! I—”

“Yes, brother. It has been decreed. You will not see her again.”

I pushed him away with fury. “I will see her again. She belongs to me and I her. Nothing will take her away from me.”

“You are wrong.”

I didn’t stay to listen to anymore of Michael’s words, I couldn’t bear it.

I snapped out of Lucian’s past like a rubber band recoiling. It took me a moment to regain my bearings. “I want to see the rest. I want to know—”

Lucian loomed over me, his wings moving restlessly. “You already know the rest.” He stared at me expectantly. “Your soul knows, somewhere in you retains the memories from your past life. The rest I will share with you.” Lucian waved his hand in front of me. “It’s all in there now.” He tapped my temple. “You finally know it all.”

And I did. The words spilled from my mouth as if someone else was saying them. “You punished Niko for killing Leitha because I asked you to—not me but Nyssa. I am—or was Nyssa. I was Nyssa the human before I was made an angel.” I turned inward as more was revealed to me in my mind.

“No, please,” a female voice keened with quiet desperation. “Please, Niko, I love him.”

“He’s my brother,” a male voice snarled in response. “You belong to me. Me. Not him.”

A sob wracked from her chest. “Niko. You knew—you knew I loved him and you took me as your bride because he loved me back. You stole me from him because you could—because you were jealous. You stole—” A loud crack rent the air and I sat up straight, my body taunt with tension.

“He’ll never touch you again.” I saw them before me, the man and woman. It was like I was watching the scene unfold on a TV show but in my mind’s eye. The man was shirtless and wearing some kind of ancient looking garb around his waist. The woman was wearing a long gossamer gown, the crème color of it stained with spots of a deep crimson. She clutched at her nose, which was the source of the blood. They were both gorgeous, both dark in coloring. The woman’s hair hung well past her waist and the man’s hit his shoulders.

I gasped when he raised his hand to her again. His closed fist hit the side of her face and she crumpled to the ground in a defensive position. “Niko!” she screamed, arm outstretched to block any further abuse. “Please!”

“He’ll never touch you again!” the man said again, but louder. “You’re mine. You’re mine!”

I watched in horror as the man beat the woman until I was sure she was no longer breathing. He stood and ran his bloody fingers down his face. His anger dissipated slightly as he stared down at his wife’s body. Then he turned and walked away slowly, not glancing back.

Several moments passed as I stared blankly at the woman’s motionless body, hoping that I was wrong, hoping that she was in fact still breathing. Tears began to track down my cheeks. Leitha had been my sister in my first life. She’d been my sister and her husband had beaten her to death.

A bright light temporarily blinded me, and I brought my hand up to cover my eyes even though I knew I wasn’t really there, that everything I was seeing was in my mind. When I looked back again— “Lucian,” I murmured. He stood over the body of the woman, his gaze fixated on it in horror. He dropped to his knees, sliding his arms under her. He lifted her up, tenderly placing a kiss on her bloody forehead.

He gently set her back down and stood. His eyes darkened and his jaw muscles danced as he clenched and unclenched his teeth. Wings unfurled from his back—beautiful white wings spun with gold that matched his hair. I was mesmerized with his stunning beauty. It too was different than the appeal he held for me now. He was different—completely, and yet the same.

“I will avenge you,” he growled almost too low for me to hear. “I will—” He whipped his head back and paused as if listening to someone. Pain rolled over his features. “No. I must. I must avenge her. She didn’t deserve this. Nyssa… She—” He shook his head slowly. “No! No! I will not obey you in this! I will not! I WILL NOT! I WILL AVENGE NYSSA’S SISTER AND I WILL NOT BE SEPARATED FROM HER—MY NYSSA!” He roared just before disappearing.

I gasped as it all registered—truly sank in. “You fell for me. You defied Heaven for me.” I stared up at Lucian with a new understanding. My mouth went dry. Words escaped me. How does one react when they find out that the first fallen angel was essentially created by you? The concept was ridiculous on so many levels. And yet, I finally had my answer as to why he’d sought me out when I’d been an angel. He’d fallen for me and I’d been taken from him, placed beyond his reach. At least that had been the plan. As it turned out, there was nowhere for me to go that was beyond Lucian’s reach. He would find me…always.

“Do not fear me, please. I would never—could never hurt you. You are the reason I’ve done everything. You’re the reason—”

“You created Hell, or you’re the king of it. You’re—you’re—” I wanted to say evil but I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it. After all, if he was evil, then what did that make me? I’d been the one to create him in a sense. I’d been the one to demand for Niko’s punishment. I’d been the one to push to have our relationship become physical. Nyssa was a memory, but one that I felt very much connected to. I hadn’t changed all that much from her life to mine.

Lucian slipped his fingers into my hair, forcing me to look at him. His eyes had darkened to obsidian. “It was because of you that I saw the folly in the master plan. I punish only the humans who deserve it. I fell so I could be what you needed me to be. I fell so I could be your champion.”

“Why now? Why are you finally showing me this now? You had so many chances in so many other lifetimes.” I was so overwhelmed by everything I just learned that I wasn’t sure any of it had really sunk in yet. I felt way too calm for it to have. I was pretty sure the calm wouldn’t last long though. An imminent breakdown was waiting to claim me. It simmered beneath the surface, building…building.

Lucian ground his teeth together. “Nyssa—you were taken before your time. Ripped from Earth. Your soul was kept from me first as an angel and then in human form. I never gave up searching for you. I will always find you.”
Yes, I knew that. He would always find me.

He paused, running his fingers along my face. “Every human who I’ve punished, every soul who writhes in agony in Hell, does so for you. But I’ve been biding my time, waiting for a chance to finally claim you.” He leaned forward, ghosting his lips over mine. I shivered with delight. “You, my Karma, are still Nyssa, but so much more. This incarnation of your soul is even brighter than before. I wondered what it would be like to feel the passion this version of you possesses. It’s even better than I could have imagined.”