Cake (25 page)

“I don’t think that is such a great idea.” I really don’t want to see him right now. I can’t relive those memories at this time.

“Kylie, we have to talk.”

“Not right now, okay? I’m dealing with enough as it is. Can you not understand that?” My voice snaps at him.

“No, that’s just it. I don’t understand anything anymore.”

“Bye, Trent.” I say before disconnecting. “Welcome to my life” is what I should have said to him.

Throwing the phone back on the bed, I lie down, snuggling under my covers, and Jonsie cuddles up beside me. The entire conversation with Trent replays in my head. I know I’ll have to speak to him soon but not right now. I’m not ready. Closing my eyes, it’s not Trent that I see behind my lids. It’s Dray. I go to sleep with him being the leading man in my dreams.

Backing up, I snuggle into the heat emanating from his body. His muscled arms wrap around me, and a large hand rests against my belly as he pulls my butt tightly against his stomach. His fingers move back and forth against my sensitive skin, soothing and exciting simultaneously. I love dreams like these when I’m between reality and sleep. He feels so real. In fact, the kisses that he trails along my neck have my nipples hardening, begging to be touched and the heat between my legs flaring.

Sliding my hand down, I slip it underneath my panties to feel the wetness there. Dipping one finger inside, I add another. Moving them in and out, I dream they are Dray inside of me. My dream takes a turn for the better when Dray’s fingers join me, pumping in and out in tandem with mine. At the same time, he presses his palm against my clit to massage with each thrust. The entire episode brings me to completion within minutes, and I cry out Dray’s name over and over. The sound of his heavy breathing in my ear along with his words of encouragement jars me to reality.

Sitting up in bed, I look behind me to see Dray. Naked. Jumping up, I turn and shout, “What are you doing here?”

Looking sleepily around, he yawns then says, “Good question. I remember getting our asses kicked in the last quarter of the game, returning on the airplane, and telling the driver to take me home. That’s about it. I was just so damned tired I guess I gave him this address instead of mine.”

Glaring at him, I remember everything that happened with Trent and guilt slams me like a six hundred pound sumo-wrestler.

“You can’t be here.”

“Oh, yes I can,” he says, rising to his knees on the bed.

My mouth waters at the sight of him kneeling there, but it’s the look on his face that makes me so sad. Hope. Hope for this? For us? To get laid? I DON’T KNOW! Hanging my head, I have to tell him. He deserves to know. Tears drop to my hardwood floor, splashing against the tops of my feet.

“Hey.” Jumping off the bed, he rushes to me. “Please don’t cry.”

I lean my head against his chest and weep. The sound of someone knocking is the only reason I pull back. Breaking away, I walk out of the room to hear the sound of someone turning my alarm off. Footsteps pound loudly up my stairs. Does anyone respect my privacy anymore? I really need to change my locks.

“I need to talk to you,” Trent says as soon as he sees me.

His disheveled appearance throws me for a loop. He looks like he hasn’t slept or showered in days. I look to the open door of my bedroom and will it to magically shut. I know Dray’s not going to close it. Taking a deep breath, I know my comeuppance has arrived, but still, I try to stop it.

“Not now, Trent. Can you meet me later?”

Pacing back and forth, he keeps fiddling with his hair as I see him trying to get something out.

“No, you are going to listen now. It’s been a long night just sitting, trying not to look back at the choices I made with you and wishing they were different. I wish that I would have loved you the way you deserved. I wish that I wouldn’t have thrown away years of us being together, of seeing the world with you. I wish I would have taken the love when it was offered instead of the other night when it was too late.”

“Trent...,”

“No, please let me finish.” Dropping to his knees, he grabs his chest. “I don’t have much of a life to offer you. I can’t give you a big house, nice cars, or fancy clothes. Not because I can’t afford those things, but because I choose to live a life that doesn’t include them, and I can’t change that about me. My past has made me the man I am today. What I can offer you is something so much better,” he says as his voice chokes with emotion. Tears silently fall down his face as he looks up at me. “If you will be with me, I promise to spend the rest of my life showing you the true miracles here on earth, and I swear that I will not break any commitments I make to you. If you will only love me, I swear it.”

Looking at him, I instantly know he’s afraid of losing my love. I know that, in his own way, he does love me, but he is about as
in
love with me as I am with him, which is not at all.

“I do love you, but not like that,” I say it because it’s the truth.

I see Trent’s eyes dart behind me, and I know who is standing there.

Trent immediately stands and asks, “What are you doing here?” Turning to me, he asks again, “What is he doing here?”

Looking behind me, I see Dray standing with my bed sheet wrapped around his lower body and that is it. He should have just run screaming, “I was in her bed” because it’s the same thing.

Shaking my head, I turn back to Trent. “I’m sorry. It started before you came home.”

“When I begged you to go to him? To the hospital?” He narrows his eyes at me.

I turn to watch Dray staring at me also. Turning back, I answer him, “It started out that way, but I stayed because I began to care for Dray.”

“Why didn’t either one of you tell me then. I really don’t understand.”

“It was just supposed to be about sex. That was it. You were gone, and you didn’t want me. I didn’t want anyone else at the time, so it just made perfect sense.”

“So, now, it’s my fault? Is that what you are saying?” His face contorts in pain.

“What do you want me to say, Trent?”

“How about the goddamn truth! When did it become more than sex because I’m looking at Dray’s face and…,” he looks at Dray and shakes his head, “we both know it was always about more than sex with him. Saying it was all about the sex was the only way the bastard could get you into his bed.”

“Trent.” Dray’s low voice warns. Trent grabs my arm and violently jerks me to him.

“WHEN!” he yells in my face.

“STOP!” I shriek back, wrenching away from his hand.

“Get your mother-fucking hands off of her! She could be pregnant!” Dray roars, pushing Trent away.

We all freeze at his words.

“We don’t know that.” I say into the silence. Trent’s bitter laugh follows my statement.

“When were you with him, Kylie?” When did this happen?”

I start to tell him it’s not his business when he looks at me with tears again in his eyes.

“Please,” he begs.

“Last weekend.”

He bows his head, and I see his shoulders shake. I’m not sure if he is crying or laughing. Dray and I stand there, not sure what is happening.

“The condom broke,” he mumbles.

Did I just hear him say the condom broke? GOD! NO!

“No, I forgot to use one.” Dray answers not realizing that Trent is talking about us.

He lets out a hollow laugh again and looks at Dray, “No, Brother. The condom broke when Kylie and I were together the other day. I guess she started feeling guilty and ran out. I didn’t find it until after she left.”

“You didn’t finish,” I say to him.

“Pre-cum, Kylie. It was all on the condom.”

A loud crash sounds as Dray punches a hole in my wall.

“Dray!” I shout.

He turns and looks at me breathing so hard his nostrils flare, before returning to my bedroom and slamming the door.

“Get out, Trent.” He didn’t have to say that to Dray. He said it to hurt him.

“Gladly.” He walks to the top of the stairs then turns back. “I expect to hear from you, one way or another.” The sound of the door slamming startles me, and I jump.

Behind me, another door opens and Dray walks out, completely dressed. My legs begin to shake from all the drama, so I sit down on my couch. I watch him watching me.

“Do you want to know about it?” I ask.

He starts to shake his head no then stops. “Yes.”

“I really did think all you wanted was sex. It didn’t occur to me that it was anything serious between us. I started developing feelings for you, but I was confused. I have loved Trent for so long that it is as instinctive as breathing. My memory of him was so natural, that, when he came home, the real Trent was so unnatural that it scared me to death. If I loved just a figment of him, what did they say about all the men I pushed away? There is no excuse other than I figured I owed it to myself to see how I truly felt about Trent.”

“So you had to fuck him? To find out how you feel? Is that what you are telling me?” he asks angrily.

“Yes. No. I don’t know. All I know is that I stopped it because it felt wrong. I felt like a whore.” I add, in a whisper, “Like I was cheating on the man I love.”

Rushing to stand in front of me, he points his finger in my face, screaming, “Don’t you dare say it! You don’t have the fucking right to say that to me now! I can’t deal with this.”

He turns and walks away. The door, once again, slams downstairs. I curl in a ball on my couch, and my heart splits open. I cry about what just happened, but, most of all, for losing him. I have lost both of them, but losing him hurts the most.

“Kylie, where you at?”

Opening my swollen eyes is almost impossible. Turning over in my bed, I pull the covers over my head and wish Madison away. Was it just this morning that my whole life turned itself upside down? My body and mind feel bruised and beaten. Can’t I have one minute to catch my breath without somebody pushing me down again?

“Hey, Skittles. Have you tasted a Dray or Trent rainbow today? Ooh, or both?”

Her voice is getting closer. Do I have enough time to rush and lock my bedroom door?

“Hey hooker, what are you doing in bed? Are you okay? I’ve called you like ten thousand times. I even played sick from work to check on you.”

The sheets start sliding away from me, but I grasp them tighter, playing tug-of-war with Madison. With a strong yank, she pulls them away. I look right at her.

“Holy fuck! What happened to your face?”

Laying my head back on my pillow, I gather the other one and hug it to my chest.

“I need to get out of here for a couple of weeks, but I can’t leave because of Aunt Leigh. I don’t know what to do?” My voice sounds empty, even to me, and my heart hurts. I know it’s all in my head, but it feels as if it isn’t beating on cue.

“Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere, but here.”

“How about this? I know someone who has a house on a beach, and it’s not even an hour flight from here, and then, also I know someone else who has a plane. What about you and I get out of town, and if something happens, I’ll get you right back?”

Sitting up, I say, “Yeah.” Looking at her, I ask, “Why are you such a good friend to me?”

“Because I loves ya. Life’s just got you down right now, but eventually, everything will be good. Just wait. You’ll see.”