Cake (30 page)

“We can’t do this. I can’t let you sacrifice your relationship with Trent. You may come to hate me for it one day, and I’m not sure I could live with it. I love you too much, Dray.”

Gathering me in his arms, I turn so that I can straddle him in the compact space. My knees capture his hips, and his hardened cock rests between my thighs as my dress rides all the way up to my waist. I press my porn cleavage into his chest and let my hands grasp his muscular shoulders. Kneading them beneath my fingers, I close my eyes and drown in his scent. Committing the feel and smell of him to memory, to hold me over until the pain of losing him goes away. If it ever goes away.

“Stop it, Kylie. This isn’t it between us. I’ll find us a way around Trent.” His lips brush mine, reading my mind. “Babe, trust me. I’m not letting you go again.”

I nod my head at his proclamation, wanting to believe, but also holding my heart back. There are two of us now that I have to think of. Oh my God! He doesn’t even know. Do I tell him? Do I let this happen between us without saying a word?

Pulling back, I look into his eyes. “Dray, I need to tell you something.”

He looks at me. Waiting.

“I’m… I…” Why is it so hard to tell him this?

Sighing, he lowers his head, “I figured. I mean, you didn’t call to say no.”

“And you would still want to be with me?” Not that we should or can, but I have to ask. I want to know.

Lifting his head once again, he replies, “I sure as hell don’t want to be without you. I’ve been miserable this past month. Nothing feels the same. The only thing in my life that is better is my game. I take my aggression out on my opponent. So yeah, I want to be with you.”

Bringing my lips to his, I kiss him, letting our tongues move in sequence. The entire world disappears around us. This single second is ours. The feel of his mouth against mine as he angles deeper, completely covering and owning me, consumes every ounce of my being. He makes love to me with his mouth. Mimicking every move he would make, leaving nothing to the imagination. My heart stops at the thought of losing him after this. My eyes fly open and stare into his dark orbs.

“We’re here.”

The sound of his voice wakes me from the lusty haze I am drowning in. I move off of him to sit back down. He opens the door and climbs out, offering his hand to help me. Once we are inside my apartment, I wait for him to pounce on me, but he surprises me. Reaching for my hand, he gently leads me to my bedroom. This time, when he kisses me, it is with a gentleness that I’m not used to from Dray. It’s loving, and it’s the best aphrodisiac in the word.

He slowly unzips and removes my dress, gently laying it on my chaise lounge. Next, he removes the black lace bra and panty set that, ironically, I bought months ago for him. Once again, he places them on top of my dress. Letting his hand glide down my body causes me to sharply draw in a breath. The want and need churning inside me at a rapid pace in complete harmony with my heart.

“I love all of this, but tonight, it’s something else with us. No hiding for me or you, Kylie.” He slowly pulls his tie loose and off. He follows it with unbuttoning every single solitary button on his shirt, to the point where I’m almost panting for his next move. Without missing a beat, he takes it off, standing with his god-like defined chest in front of me. My eyes travel to his oblique muscles that form that sexy V, leading lower.

When his hands go to unzip his pants, I can’t stop my next words, “Dray, we can’t.” My body is battering me from the inside out, screaming “NO!” I want to weep at my own words. His hands still, and his eyes search mine for answers. I search for the right ones to give him.

“Kylie?” His voice shakes with need.

“I want this. God, I swear I do.” Every word comes out, but it’s almost painful to keep on. “But, I can’t. You can’t. I will not cost you Trent. Please don’t ask me to.”

He reaches out to tease my nipple with one finger. I step back, trying to keep my wits about me, but my body rebels against my brain and steps forward.

“Your body knows what it wants, Kylie.” His baritone silky voice speaks to me.

“I can’t control it around you. I don’t know how I ever did, but I’m going to beg that you listen to me now. I wish so many things, Dray. I can’t even think straight. I want to be with you so bad that I physically ache.” I take a deep breath, fighting this attraction with everything within me. “If I sleep with you again, I want it to be forever.”

My words seem to finally punch a hole into the sexual haze that surrounds us. He seems surprised by what I’m saying, but I need to continue. I’m not going to make the same mistakes twice. My thoughts give me the strength I need to pull away.

“Dray, what I want, and need, is for you to listen to me. I want this. I want you. With no more hidden agendas or secret pacts between us. We need to be up front with Trent because, this between us, affects us all.” I have his undivided attention now. He looks at me, nodding his head. Not wanting to sugar-coat my next question, because I need to see his face when I ask, I continue at a whisper, “What if this baby is Trent’s and not yours?”

He closes his eyes but not before I see the agonizing pain in them, the same that I’m sure reflects in mine. He reaches to grasp both of my hips with his large hands and hauls me against him, his touch searing into me, marking me for life. Burying his face into my neck, I hear and feel him take several deep breaths.

“I don’t know, Kylie. I love Trent. He is more my brother than any blood relative of mine ever could be, but the thought of watching your body grow with his baby and not mine…” He cuts his sentence off, breathing heavily against me, trying to control his spiraling temper. “The thought makes me hate him.” Leaning back, he shows me the torment in his dark eyes. “I can’t hate my brother, Kylie. What do I do?”

Pulling him back to me, I hug him, wrapping my hungry naked body around his immaculately built bare chest. “I believe, with all my heart, Dray, that this baby I carry is yours. Not only because I want it to be, but because what are the chances with Trent and my situation?”

“You think?” he asks, his tone resonating notes of hope.

“Yeah, I do.” Answering honestly. The next words take every ounce of courage I possess. “If you and I want a future together, we have to do this right. First off, I see the doctor and find out the soonest that I can have the damn DNA test done. Next, we talk to Trent. I know he isn’t in love with me, but we have a past together, and if you and I even have a chance, then we have to come to some type of compromise. One that doesn’t separate all of us. That is, if that’s what you want?” I hesitantly ask, still trying to make sure we are on the same page.

Using his strong hands, he pushes me gently from him but doesn’t release me. He stares down into my eyes, and speaks softly, “You make it sound so easy to get what I always wanted.”

“What?” I ask, releasing the breath I’ve been holding.

“You. You bring me to my knees. Your smile, the insecure one you only give to me. The way you smell at the base of your neck that is purely your scent. Your taste, knowing I’ll be the last man to ever know how sweet you truly are.”

His words capture the remains of my heart, bind it, and leave it tethered to him. I ache to have him filling me, covering me. As if reading my mind, he forcibly brings my body back to his and captures my mouth, dominating me with every touch and movement. I allow us this moment, losing myself within him and him in me.

We lick, nip, and soothe each other with our tongues and mouths. Almost giving over to this attraction that seems all consuming, I feel his hand drift leisurely down my stomach, and the thought of wanting this forever causes me to react smartly. I step out of his arms, holding my hand out to warn him back when he tries to come after me. The flames of need in his eyes almost bring me back to him until I gather my strength.

“We follow my plan: DNA test, talk to Trent, and then us. In that order.”

“What about now? I don’t want to keep my hands to myself.” The sex pours from his voice.

Stepping further away, I reach for his shirt on the floor and hold it out in front of me. “No, it has to be this way. We are friends. We keep everything simple for now. You have the playoffs coming up, and you know how hectic your schedule will be. Time will fly, just you wait.” I pray my words are the truth because I can’t believe I’m saying this, not when I want to lick him from head to toe, then start over.

“Kylie. Please just once.”

His plea makes me want to let out a scream of frustration. Does he really not know how hard this is for me? How I’m trying for us? “Dray, I’m trying to make decisions that will make us last. It’s not easy, and it sure as heck isn’t what I want, but please help me. If you want us to be more, help me. Trust me.”

Letting out a growl of frustration, he backs away, placing his head between his hands. “Okay, just give me a second.” He walks over to the window and leans against the pane. He rolls the muscles in his back as he stretches. Turning to me, he states, “I do trust you. After everything, I’m just as responsible. We will do this your way. For now.”

He adds that one little command, reminding me who is really in control of this situation. His body calls to mine, and there simply is not enough space in my small apartment to resist for much longer. Turning away from his stare, I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. He is killing me. I take a deep breath and try to collect myself. Reaching for my robe on the back of the door, I cover my body, tying the sash tight around me.

Opening the door, I see he is back at the window. “Dray,” I call to him. Once he turns, I toss his shirt back to him. Catching it with one hand, he stares at it, then begins to dress, looking at me the entire time.

“I don’t want to leave,” he says, the words bringing unshed tears to my eyes.

“Neither do I.” I state the honest truth.

Nodding his head, he finishes and walks towards me as I stand against my bedroom wall. I desperately don’t want him to leave, but the only other option is a kiss of death… for us.

Stopping inches from me, he leans in once more, softly asking, “Last chance. I want to be in your bed tonight. Deep in you.” His sensual words hit their intended target.

Steadying myself, I let the impact of his words settle. “Keep that thought, stud,” I tell him. Pushing away from the wall, I totter walk past him and pray he follows me to the door.

Once I reach it, I turn to tell him goodnight when his mouth assaults mine one last time. This isn’t a kiss. It’s a brand. It’s ownership. It’s a future. It’s a promise. I give in and return his kiss, wrapping my hands behind his neck, holding myself to him. I willingly accept everything he is offering, and in a silent prayer, beg for him to be mine. As quick as he bum rushes my lips, he separates himself, his chest heaving heavily as his gaze travels over my face. His hand reaches to brush a stray hair from my cheek and lingers to softly cradle my face.

“I want to be so goddamn deep inside you…more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. We share something so real that I can’t give it up, and I sure as hell can’t walk away.” His other hand embraces my face, and his eyes mesmerize me. “I never knew what being in love was, and if this is it, it’s killing me inside, Kylie. Is it supposed to hurt this fucking bad?” he harshly asks. “I would give up everything… football, the fame, the money, if I thought I might lose you because it seems none of it would matter without you in my life. But, I also want to walk away because I’m scar…I’m in so much pain, I can’t handle certain things that may happen, and I swear to see you with someone else…” He swiftly releases my face and steps back, “FUCK IT!” Bracing himself against my wall, he hangs his head, his breathing sounds harsh in the silence.

Reaching for him, I caress his back with both of my hands, running them up to grasp his shoulders and knead them, comforting him. Bringing my mouth to his shirt covered back, I simply lay a kiss in the middle. I have no answer for him. This is how it has to be if either of us wants a future together. Our relationship was built primarily on sex, and even though we became friends, all of this is still recent. We will never have a normal courtship, even now because of the pregnancy. Jumping into bed with him only will complicate everything, putting more stress on him and me.

At the same time, another part of me wants to throw myself at him. Give myself up to him. Bury my worries deep within him and let him shelter me, but I can’t. My Aunt Leigh taught me to be a strong woman, and I’m going to try to be that. For me, for Dray, and for this child I carry.

“You can call me whenever you need me. Tomorrow, I will call you and Trent with the details of what we need to do to get the DNA test completed. After the results, we can all decide with clearer minds on what needs to happen with everything, including our friendships. We can take this time to think things over. Okay?”

Still not looking at me and hanging his head, he nods. Tears roll down my cheeks at my words and his silence. The pain of my heartache threatens to bring me to the ground, but I hold strong. Minutes later, he leans back, and without looking at me, opens the door and walks away. Out of my life, once again. This time, as much as I hurt on the inside, I swear that there is a sense of peace, letting me know that I am on the right path.

Closing the door, I wipe away the wetness on my cheeks. God, I love him. I love him so much more for being scared to love. For not knowing what it feels like and trusting to tell me that. Let’s just hope he can keep loving me too.