Camp Alien (47 page)

The goggles were working again here, leading me to really believe that the room we'd been in was lined with something odd. Once again, I got information about the concrete. Still twenty feet thick, go design team.

After walking about the length of a football stadium we reached another doorway that was hidden in another blind corner. As Christopher and I peeked cautiously around the corner, it was clear that we'd found another Clean Room. It was bright white and the goggles stopped doing their thing.

This was a smaller room, with a lot less stuff in it. Of course, what was in it was what mattered.

This was a hospital setup, and it was kind of normal, at least more normal than anything we'd seen so far. There were beds and hospital-type equipment all over. There weren't any medical personnel, but there were a couple of people in here.

Phoebe and Evalyne were on gurneys, strapped down, with various needles and tubes in them. They each had a weird white tube that encircled them and their portable beds. The tube was like a donut that was mostly hole, and it was on a track that attached to the sides of the gurneys. The tube was moving slowly up and down the length of their bodies, from head to toe. They were either both asleep, both unconscious, or both faking it. We were too far away for me to be able to tell.

There were six large men in here as well. And unlike the guys at the main entrance, these dudes didn't look like regular security. They were all in suits and had a look I was familiar with—the Secret Service and the P.T.C.U. all had this look—these were dudes On The Job. Meaning they were likely to be actual NSA agents, albeit among those working against the government.

I'd thought we were being quiet, but whether we'd made noise, they'd had some kind of warning, or we were just lucky, two of the men turned around and stared right at us.

Then they pulled their guns.

I
DUCKED AND SHOVED
Christopher back and behind me at the same time—I had the body armor and he didn't.

“Freeze,” one of the dudes said, as he moved his gun to aim right at me, just like his buddy already had. The other four spun around and joined the Aim At Kitty Party.

Considered freezing, then remembered I had hyperspeed. Flipped into a somersault and came up ready to start shooting. Only I didn't have to.

Poofs leaped out of my purse—Harlie, Poofikins, Murphy, and a few others—the Poofs of everyone here.

The dudes didn't shoot. They stared. Then the guy who'd told me to freeze started to laugh. “You're kidding, right?” he asked in between snorts of laughter. His pals were snickering, too. “You aliens are idiots. What are those going to do? Fluff us to death?”

“Laugh it up. Poofs Assemble!”

Harlie went large and in charge and roared. The other Poofs followed suit. The six dudes went from laughing to screaming quickly while they aimed their guns at the fluffy monsters that had just appeared. They didn't get a chance to shoot the Poofs, though, because their guns were snatched out of their hands before I could blink.

“Thanks, Christopher,” I said as he stopped next to me, holding six guns.

The Poofs knocked the men down and sat on them, growling and drooling. I found that an impressive touch—it added a lot to the overall horror effect.

“So, dudes on the floor, you get one chance each to be helpful. If you're not immediately helpful, I'm going to let
my Poofs here eat you. Alive. But don't worry—it'll be over fast because my Poofies are starving, I'm sure.”

“Wha- . . . what do you want?” the Spokesdude who was definitely not laughing now asked.

“I want so very many things. We'll start with what's going on with these women—are they hurt, unconscious, or being kept asleep?”

“They were hurt,” the Spokesdude said. “They're being repaired.”

“I need Camilla,” I told Christopher. He nodded and zipped off.

Camilla arrived a couple of seconds later. “What do you need?” She looked at the men on the floor. “They're all NSA.”

“Yeah, I figured. You're the only one of us trained in medicine. Need you to check out the gals. I've been told they were hurt and are being ‘repaired.'”

She nodded and went to the beds, though it was clear she was examining the machines that were still moving slowly over Evalyne and Phoebe.

“These aren't doing ‘repairs,'” she said finally. “They're copying both women's physical structures.”

“What a pity for you,” I said to the Spokesdude.

“Wait, wait!” he shouted as Harlie lowered its face toward his. “They're being fixed at the same time. It does both.”

Looked at Camilla. Who shrugged. “It's possible.”

“Fine. Next question. Where are all the people who work in this facility?”

“Day shift goes home at seven,” one of the other dudes said quickly. “The night shift comes on at nine. They'll find you then,” he added, presumably because he liked living on the edge.

“Oh, they'll find someone, I'll grant you that. And it's always nice to be right. So, next question. What's really going on here? And by ‘here' I mean this entire black site.”

All the dudes were quiet. “Many things,” the Spokesdude said finally, presumably because Harlie growled at him.

“Vague replies will not be tolerated. But we'll try a different question. Is this a secret factory making female robots that are to be used to infiltrate an enemy's defenses and then explode?”

The six guys all stared at me, a couple openmouthed, which was a mistake, since the Poofs sitting on their chests drooled right into their open yaps. Those guys gagged and choked, but the Spokesdude nodded. “Yes, that's exactly what it is. Underground. Aboveground we do research and development on a variety of security measures.”

“Is this site the one from which you spy on everyone?”

“No.”

“Fair enough.” And not my current problem. “Where are the completed Fem-Bots?”

“We don't know. Our jobs are need-to-know, and where the completed robots are sent isn't part of what we need to know.”

Had my doubts, but the Poofs were really giving it their all with the threatening and no one else shared anything more or different.

“Why did no one come over to check out all the people running around all over Forest Haven next door?”

“Freaks, losers, teenagers and ‘ghost hunters' are there all the time,” the Spokesdude said, clearly happy to be talking about something other than what they were doing at this site. “We ignore them unless they try to come onto our property.”

“Interesting. What happens to those few who do? Do they get the same treatment my people have gotten?”

“They get told to leave because they're trespassing, here and at Forest Haven, and we'll call the cops. Only your people demanded entry after that.”

Had more doubts about this, but since we hadn't found any stray teens or homeless people trapped here, this could possibly be the truth.

“What other ways out of this room are there other than the way we came in?” They were silent again, which was an interesting time to be so. “Dudes, trust me, I've been seriously pissed off at men I love for quite a while now. I have no qualms taking out my frustrations with them on all of you, and I'm sure they'd appreciate it if I did so. Answer my question or I let the Poofs eat you.”

Murphy opened its maw and leaned toward the head of the guy it was sitting on. “Oh, God, there's a secret exit over there!” He pointed toward the far side of the room from where we'd come in.

“Are there security measures on this pathway?”

“Nothing deadly,” Murphy's Potential Dinner said. “It's secret, only high-level people know where it is. We know because we work high security here. The path lets out in the forest behind us and Forest Haven. There are other paths out from other parts of the facility. They all lead into the forest.”

“Nice of you to offer information without my having to drag it out of you. Who normally uses that path?” Silence again. “Seriously? Do I say it's Chow Time now?”

“No,” the Spokesdude said. “We're just afraid to tell you the truth.”

“Be more afraid of lying.”

“We don't know. There is no normal here.”

That I really couldn't argue with. “Okay, I'll let that one slide. Who used that path
last
?”

They were quiet again, but Murphy's Potential Dinner finally broke because Murphy drooled right onto him. “Gah! Our bosses. There's another tunnel that branches from the exit in the forest and goes to our main offices.”

“I'm supposed to believe that whoever's in charge hoofs it all the way from there to here and back again?” A-Cs would do it, but to an A-C, a few miles was the same as a few steps for a human. Well, as long as said A-C was in shape and all that. “Pull the other one, it has bells on.”

“No,” the Spokesdude said. “They use Segways.”

“Including on the stairs?”

“No, the path is a gradual slope.”

“Hang on,” Christopher said. He left before I could tell him not to.

“If there's something that you didn't tell us about, and he gets hurt, I'm going to have the Poofs eat you all slowly.”

“It's nice to know you care,” Christopher said as he returned. “Amazingly enough, they're not lying. There's a network of tunnels down there, all paved, gradual slopes to the surface. I followed the one they said. It took me right to NSA headquarters and there were several Segways there.”

“They use them all the time,” the Spokesdude said. “The main day-to-day people come here several times during each shift. The bigwigs come by when they feel like it.”

“Were any of said bigwigs here today?”

“Yes,” the Spokesdude admitted after Harlie growled a
deep, hungry growl. “They left after these two were injured.”

Was about to ask if said bigwigs had left with anyone like, say, a Fem-Bot or two, but my phone rang. The shock of hearing it almost made me jump, but I controlled the reflex. Dug my phone out and answered on the third ring. “Hey, Mom, where are you?”

“NSA headquarters.”

“That was fast. In force?”

“Yes, I prefer to raid with a large number of people.”

“Me too!”

“Good to know. I have P.T.C.U., Centaurion, and Air Force personnel with me including Colonel Franklin. Your Uncle Mort is heading to your location with Kevin, some Field agents, and a lot of marines. And yes, we used the Field agents to get us all here quickly, but no, the men you're angry with are still at the White House awaiting your triumphant return.”

“Is the sarcasm really necessary, Mom?”

“Yes, kitten, it is. It's part of my process.”

“I love you. Christopher will meet Kevin and Uncle Mort at the glass doors going down to the level we're at. I think we have the only keys.” He nodded to me, gathered the keycards from the folks on the team who were holding onto them, and took off.

“You might, but I'm sure we'll find plenty of keys. Kitten, once your Uncle Mort is on-site, cede authority to him immediately.”

“Gotcha. Mom . . . Evalyne and Phoebe were hurt.” Described what had happened and the contraptions they were in and mentioned the Poofs' prisoners. Also mentioned that we had three dead P.T.C.U. agents who'd been with Falk. “So, what do we do?”

Mom was quiet for a few long moments. “Leave their bodies with the women. We have a medivac on the way anyway. We'll take them all at once.”

“We're like three floors underground and a long walk away from the entry point for the Underground Labs of Evil.”

“James authorized all the help we need, Kitty, I promise.”

“So, what do we do once Uncle Mort takes over?”

“I can't speak for the others, but you need to go back to the White House.”

“Don't wanna. Want to stay in the Sovereign and Flying Nation of Kitty Land.”

“I'm sure you do, but you're the First Lady and, once the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff arrives, you need to go back to
being
the First Lady.”

“Why do I think that I'm going to look back fondly on being kidnapped?”

Mom laughed. “Because you know how your life works.”

K
EVIN AND UNCLE MORT
were on-site quickly, which wasn't a surprise. Christopher had met them upstairs with the keycards and they'd stationed people at every door so that no one needed to worry about being stuck.

Didn't want to leave Evalyne and Phoebe, but Kevin insisted on it while Uncle Mort had his marines take the six security guys into custody while I forced the Poofs to go back to small and adorable. Which they did. Then they went back into my purse, grumbling about the unfairness of them not being able to eat the bad men. I felt their pain.

Refused to go until the medivac team—which turned out to be a lot of Dazzlers with one human pilot whose expression said he'd scored the best duty of his entire career—had come down and claimed them.

Then we gave Kevin the boxes of incriminating information we'd found and did the reverse tour so we could point out where our people had been held and killed.

Devon and his team wanted to stay on-site. Some were deemed by the Dazzlers to be in need of medical care, so they were also put into the medivac helicopter, which was military and therefore big and able to take everyone. Devon and about half of those with him were able to remain, however.

Falk and Manfred both insisted on riding with the bodies and the women, and no one argued with them about that, least of all me, in part because they both needed medical care, too, and in other part because that way the dead and Evalyne and Phoebe would be protected.

Gardiner was another point of contention. The Dazzlers
wanted her to go back to Dulce for medical treatment. Uncle Mort wanted to arrest her on general principles. I wanted to keep her with us. Called Mom, who sided with me, though recommended we keep a guard around her, which appeased Uncle Mort. Promised the Dazzlers we'd have White House medical look at Gardiner, and since they knew that meant Tito, Melanie, and Emily, they were appeased as well.

The rest of us, including the two Field teams who I wanted with us anyway, in part so they could keep Gardiner under guard, were ready to go home. Insisted on going in the helicarrier, mostly because I didn't want to lose it again. And I was stalling. I was still angry, but Joe and Randy had made good points, and now that everyone other than Siler and Wruck were accounted for, I knew I had to actually find out why Jeff and the others had caved so fast and easily.

Of course, Siler and Wruck
were
missing, and that meant I had to share that with Lizzie. I was not looking forward to that conversation, which I'd be having in about ten minutes or less.

“Do you think they're okay?” I asked Buchanan, who was definitely not deemed able to stay on-site but who had also insisted on staying with me.

“I think that it's going to take a lot to kill either one of them, let alone both of them together. My guess, based on working with Siler off and on for several years now, is that once he knew this site was compromised, he looked for alternate ways in.”

“You think they found the secret paths?”

“Probably. Or they spotted someone coming out in the forest. I'll figure out how to reach them.”

“That won't reassure Lizzie.”

“Lie to her.”

Stared at him. “Excuse me?”

He sighed. “Lie to her. Tell her that they're off doing exactly what I just said.”

“What if that's not true?”

“They aren't captured because if they were, they'd have been brought back into the black site, guaranteed. Your mother's taken over the NSA and, trust me, the CIA is right behind her, she just didn't tell you because you're still mad at Reynolds. So if they're there, she'll find them. If they're
not there, then they're both doing what they've done successfully for decades.”

Heaved my own sigh. “Fine. I don't like lying to her, though.”

“Channel your parents. Tell her what she needs to know to get her through.” Buchanan grinned. “The ability does run in your family, you know.”

“Hilarious. True, though.”

We got onto the helicarrier from the roof. Made a stop at the armory and, with a great deal of regret, put our weapons and body armor back. I hadn't wanted to, but White and Buchanan both insisted on it.

Once we were back to looking like civilians, others headed off. But White held me back and let the others head back to the command center ahead of us. “I felt it again. When we were in the lab under the black site.”

“What, the déjà vu?”

“Yes.”

“Why is it bothering you so much?”

“I don't know, honestly. I just feel that it's vitally important that I remember why all of these areas seem so familiar. Vital to our safety important.”

“I've got nothing, especially if this is an Alpha Four memory. Did your people use labs like these?”

“No, not really. You've seen our labs—they don't resemble these so much.”

“Unless you like to give birth and take meetings in a fishbowl, sure they don't.”

He cocked his head at me. “What do you mean?”

“You guys use a lot more glass than any humans. Gaultier's Lab of Hot Zombies was nothing like this, and the Gaultier Facility Underground Clone Lab wasn't nearly as glassy as these places or even as glassy as the Science Center. So, I can buy an Alpha Four influence if we're talking about labs that are all see-through. Humans do windows, A-Cs do glass walls.”

He closed his eyes. “It's there. Right there.” He opened his eyes. “But I can't access it.”

Patted his hand. “We'll figure it out, Richard. Let's just get back to the others.”

We rejoined the others in the command center. Joe and Randy had taken their places back from Keith and Lizzie,
and while the others shared what had happened with those who'd remained on board, White showed Christopher, Buchanan, Len, Kyle, and Colette around the ship, Daniel and the others made Gardiner comfortable in the command center then sat with her, and I talked to Lizzie and patted the Peregrines, who had felt they needed to stay onboard just in case.

“Your dad's fine. He and Wruck are following the people who left the facility via secret passages.”

She squinted at me. “You're lying. You don't know where my dad or Mister Wruck are.”

Time to treat Lizzie as if she was Mom. I had difficulty passing any lie to my mother that she'd believe, but sarcasm was the best chance of it. Rolled my eyes. “Seriously, you're telling me that the man who has been alive for decades doing just this kind of work, and the other man who not only can shape-shift but who was hiding with his and our enemies for years, aren't following the bad guys in order to infiltrate or assassinate? Really? And you think I'd have left either one of them inside? Really again?”

She sighed. “No. You're right.” She hugged me. “I'm just worried about him. You know how it is.”

“Honestly, I don't. At your age I thought my dad was only a history professor and my mom was a consultant who traveled a lot because she was so good at helping businesses improve their bottom-line cash flows.”

She looked up at me. “Really?” She sounded unimpressed with my gullibility. Then her face fell. “Yeah. When I was younger I thought my parents loved me for me and all that.”

Pulled her back and hugged her more tightly. “Your adopted father loves you. He loves you so much that he's altered his lifestyle that he's had for decades in order to keep you safe. And your kind of second adopted family loves you, too. No matter what happens, like Jeff and I were saying, God, was it only last night? But whenever, you're with us forever now, so you'd better get used to it. Miss Mouthy Teenager.”

She laughed. “Yeah, okay, I was totes testing you.”

“I knew it! Little Sneaky Pants.”

“Commander,” Hughes called, breaking up our Batman and Robin Moment. “Coming up on Andrews. Figured we'd all want to be ready in case it's déjà vu all over again.”

“True enough, Matt. Let's have it on speakerphone or whatever.”

“Andrews, this is Sovereign Nation One, requesting permission to land in our reserved, high security clearance parking place.”

“I love you, Matt.”

“Sovereign Nation One, this is Andrews. We have your space all reserved and ready to go. Please pass along my apologies to Queen Kitty for how people who will be scrubbing toilets for the next several months treated your request the first time.”

Recognized who this was. Franklin's adjunct or whatever he was called, Captain Gil Morgan.

“Gil! It's awesome to hear the melodious sounds of your voice.”

“Nice to be heard, Queen Kitty.” He chuckled. “You have four men who have asked me that you please let them explain what happened before you beat the living crap out of them.”

“Wow, they're really worried. Good. They should be.”

“They are. In their defense, and in the defense of the toilet scrubbers, too, the situation was definitely out of control and, from what I've seen, confused enough that making decisions out of fear seemed logical.”

“They pay you off to support them, Gil?”

“No, I just understand how angry you are and why. But I think I understand how frightened they were and why. However, I enjoy a good show, so, once you're here, I'll be meeting you to escort you and your people to the White House so you can have a Meeting of State and I can watch what happens.”

“I like you. You shall have a place in the Sovereign and Flying Nation of Kitty Land should you so choose it.”

“Excellent. I've heard through the grapevine that the Prince Consort position may be open and I'm tossing my hat in for that as well.”

“Awesome. It's nice to have a position that's considered so desirable.”

“Oh, I think your current husband is going to lock that one up, but you can't blame a guy for trying.”

“Yeah, well, we'll see. Right now, I'm at war with my current husband. Technically.”

The rest of the landing went smoothly. The building we were landing in was gigantic and its roof opened up, just like the baseball field in Pueblo Caliente, so we were able to literally hover over our spot and lower into it without issue.

“Drax makes great ships,” Jerry said as we completed landing and he turned off the invisibility shield. “I mean really great. If you do defect, take him with you. If you don't, ensure that he can't sell to any other country.”

“And if he's already sold to someone else,” Walker added, “we want to buy those ships from them or steal them away. And I'm saying that in the interests of national security. We spent the time waiting for you learning what this ship can do. It can do it all. Whoever was flying it when they captured us and raided Rail Force One either was under orders not to be impressive or was an idiot, because they could have taken over the country using this.”

“I wish there was a way to lock it, turn on Lojack, put on the Club, and take the keys, so to speak.”

“There is,” Hughes said. “And we've done it. I assume that Drax didn't because the ship was at his facility and why lock your car when it's safe in your garage? But don't worry, My Queen, we've got the safety on your ship set to high, and the three of us are the only ones who can access it.”

“Three?”

He nodded. “Joe and Randy are concerned about what was done to them. In case they can be triggered by enemies somehow, they didn't want to be able to access this ship.”

“I love all you guys so much.”

We headed down the ramp to indeed be greeted by Captain Morgan. Resisted the urge to salute and lift my leg up, which was always the urge any time I saw Morgan, just 'cause. Proving he was either insane or just the most relieved person on the planet, Tim was there, too.

“Don't kick me,” Tim said as he grabbed me and hugged me. “Long story. Once you know it, you won't be as mad. You'll still be mad, I think, but not
as
mad.”

“Why weren't you the voice of my brand of insanity? It's part of your job description.”

“I tried, Kitty. The evidence, when I saw it, was extremely compelling.” He grabbed the flyboys and hugged each of them. “God, am I glad to see you guys. Not as glad as your wives will be,” he said to Joe and Randy. “And, trust me,
they aren't to blame for any of this. None of the women felt we should do what we did.”

White and I exchanged a look. “I suggest we go to the White House with all haste,” he said. “This sounds like something everyone will want to see.”

Morgan nodded. “It will be. We have a gate installed in this hangar. We can get right to the White House as long as someone can calibrate. It's normally set to go to Area Fifty-One.”

Christopher nodded. “Not a problem. You ready, Kitty? As in ready to go over and not try to kill your husband and two best friends?”

“I dunno. Let's take a vote among all of us who were in the ship when the warheads were armed against us. Everyone ready to play nicely for a bit, raise your hands.” The hands raised. Slowly in some cases, but they raised. “So be it, I think we're good.”