Candidate (Selected Book 4) (83 page)

"I had a girlfriend who once poured little dollops of ice cream on me then licked them off. Are you thinking about doing that, Jasmine?"

"Would you stop it, Andromeda?"

I looked up. "Isn't this what you want? A pliant human who lets you do whatever you want?"

"If I wanted a pliant human, I wouldn't have picked you for this experiment."

"Well, excuse me if your pet lab rat human doesn't know what you want."

"I just want you to be yourself, Andromeda. I want your dates to get to know the real you."

"No, you don't. The real me thinks for herself. The real me has hopes and aspirations. The real me makes decisions about her life. The real me picks her own damned clothing. The real me doesn't swim naked while twenty or thirty people stare at her. The real me doesn't sleep nearly naked while more people stare at her. The real me doesn't walk around in her underwear. The real me doesn't get put into a transparent pillar in those same underwear like a piece of living artwork, letting everyone and her sister ogle her. The real me doesn't date a different woman every three days. The real me doesn't nearly fall in love with one woman and then go on dates with two others. The real me made it to 35 years of age without getting married. You don't remotely want the real me. This," and I gestured, "is a hell of a lot closer to what you want. So stop fucking lying to me."

I shook my head. "I think I have five more weeks left for my six months. I'm going to reject every single one. And then you're going to toss me into the arena and let them fight over me. My happiness doesn't matter. All that matters is I let them put babies into me. That's all you care about. So fuck off, Jasmine. Give me to whomever the hell you want, and as long as she doesn't beat me and lets me visit my parents from time to time, I'll spread my legs and dress however she wants and let her do to me whatever the fuck she wants. Now get out."

"Do you think that's what I want?"

"Yes. Oh, you tried to wrap a pretty bow on it, but in the end, yes, I think that's what you want."

"I need the real you back, Andromeda, and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. You're the best I have here, and you're convincing everyone you're a... I don't even know what to call it."

"Prima donna pillow princess works," I said.

"You're doing it intentionally!"

"I'm doing anything you ask. I'm doing anything they ask. If you don't like what you're getting, maybe you shouldn't be asking for it. Would you please leave? I must array myself for the cameras and ... oh, look. There are a few males."

"The ceiling is darkened," she said. "No one is looking."

"And how long is that going to last?" I asked.

"Answer a question honestly. Do you really not know why I'm here?"

I stared for a while, then rotated away, pulling my feet up. I set the bowl aside and said in a small voice, "It hurts too much. I gave my heart, and it hurts. I'm done."

"Andromeda," she said gently.

"No!" I screamed, turning back. "How many times have you let my heart be broken, all in just under five months? Do you know what humans do after a broken heart? They recover. Usually for months. You typically gave me about two days. Maybe, if they're like this person you seem to hate, they turn into players. They go have sex with anyone who wants. They spread their legs and take solace in another woman's fingers and tongue. But you won't give me time to recover, and you don't seem to like my other solution. What the fuck do you want from me now? I've given you everything else you've asked for, but that wasn't enough, so what the fuck do you want now?"

"I just want you to be yourself."

"Don't you get it? This is me. This is me giving up. This is me when I surrender. This is me being charming and agreeable and being done fighting. Lord knows you pushed hard enough to make it happen. But that's not good enough, either. Nothing I do is going to be good enough."

"I'm trying to help you, Andromeda."

"I didn't need your help. I was doing just fine. Yes, I got fired, but do you really think it was going to take me that long to find a job?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Oh. I see. What you mean is, marry one of these women or I'll let a man rape you for the rest of your life. Oh, and the women who you like are either going to run away, get kidnapped by members of their own species, or intend to take you to a different star system so you can never see your parents again. But let me help you pick between those choices."

"I'm never going to see my mothers again," she said quietly.

"And who told you that your choice was to be raped by males or never see your parents again? But hey, at least you aren't threatening to kill me for being a homosexual like some humans do. They are big on raping us, though, so you have that in common with them."

Her lips tightened, and she turned away to look out the window again. I glared at her back for a while then turned my back on her, my feet still pulled up. I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. "There's no solution," I said. "You're not going to let me go. I'm not risking my heart again. I'm doing absolutely everything I agreed to do, but for some reason you're not satisfied, anyway. If you can be specific what else you want me to change, I'll change it."

"What's your end game, Andromeda? What do you think is going to come of this?"

"I imagine in another five weeks you'll tell me either I pick someone or you'll give me to a male. I'll pick someone. She'll decline. And you'll throw me in the arena with hopefully eight women who at least might not rape me. Drug me, perhaps, but not all out rape me. One of them will haul me away. Regardless of how I feel about it, I'll never be heard from again. That's what I think is going to happen."

"You could try working with me."

"And I told you to tell me what you want me to change."

"You could open your heart and your mind instead of your legs."

I turned to look at her. She was leaning against the back wall. "You gave me to two women with whom I shared a psychic bond no one thought was possible. But you're telling me I haven't been open-minded enough? Is that really what you're saying?"

"Andromeda, I want you, as you humans say, to get up, dust yourself off, and get back up on the horse."

"Which I would do when the pain of the last time had faded, a process which doesn't happen quite as fast as you seem to think it should. I gave you three, and four if you count Dark Skies, in four months. That is more girlfriends than I've otherwise had since college. So excuse me if I'm not flexible enough for you."

"You've been out with a lot more than that."

"Been out with? Yes. Enough to develop an emotional attachment? No. Now, are you telling me to start saying 'no' when my dates ask to see my boobs? I can do that, if you think that's a better choice. But frankly, at least I'm getting out of this cell, and the sex is sometimes kind of good."

"Do you think I'm trying to hurt you?"

"I don't think your goal is to hurt me, but I don't think you really care if you do. You're certainly willing to hurt me emotionally. And you knew how I felt about my parents, but you pushed two different relationships you had to know meant leaving Earth forever. You were willing to give me to a woman who wanted nothing but a portable incubation chamber. You're willing to hurt me in the challenges. You're willing to humiliate me over and over. You're willing to objectify me and make sure everyone knows I'm just the human sex slave. But now you're mad because I stopped fighting you on it. Well congratulations. You won. I'll spread my legs to whomever asks. You've got another incubation chamber. But I'm not sharing my heart again, and when you give me to someone horrible, make sure you drug the shit out of me, because you're going to have to. Now get out."

* * * *

Over the next five weeks, I went on dates with five more women. If they asked to see my boobs, I let them. If they asked to touch, I let them. If they asked to take me to bed, I let them.

I didn't bother remembering their names.

Dilly and Piper collected me. I was waiting in my mating candidate costume. They shackled me, blinded me, and took me to one of the conference rooms, where I was secured in place.

They didn't talk much. Maybe they knew what was going on.

When I could see, Jasmine was seated across the table from me. I looked at her then down at my hands.

"Mating Candidate Hayes, it has been six months. Do you feel I have fulfilled my end of our agreement?"

"You introduced me to a significant number of females to consider," I said. "I have done everything anyone asked. I do not consider you in default, if you don't."

She nodded once. "I have a list of females who would accept you as their mates. I am sending the list to you now."

A moment later, it arrived on my visor. I scanned it and was quite surprised by some of the names. And it was much longer than I expected.

"Have I met all of these people?"

"Yes."

I scanned the list again. "Smooth Seas?"

"The Octal queen who took Dark Skies. She repeats her earlier offer. Become hers, and she will allow you and Dark Skies to share each other as well. You would be happy."

"Isn't it a little greedy of an Octal queen to ask for another human? She already has sufficient mates for procreation."

"Perhaps, but it is their way, and she is within her rights to ask. You would be happy."

"Drugged into oblivion, but I'd be happy. I agree: that is probably true."

"Drugged into oblivion as the bonds form, but Octals all have jobs. They have fulfilling lives. You would be honestly happy, Andromeda."

"Well, let's keep her in reserve," I said. "Becoming hopelessly devoted to the woman who stole from both you and me isn't my first choice. I'm surprised to see both Charoite and Harp and Jaguar on this list."

"Charoite has a message. She says if it comes down to leaving Earth space, she would offer to roll back your parents' ages and bring them with."

"Oh, shit," I said.

"Harp and Jaguar make a similar offer, but of course, their offer is more immediate."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Did you do this?"

"Yes."

I felt a little bad for being a complete shit to her for most of the last two months, but only a little.

"Could we come back to that?"

"Of course."

"Cherish is on the list. I thought she was gone for good."

"She has her own message. She says, 'Tell her I am sorry I ran. I was afraid. Could I have another chance?' "

I studied Jasmine carefully. Her tentacles were out, and I'd been learning to read them. "You're feeling pretty proud of yourself, aren't you?"

"Frankly, yes. Going to take back any of the things you said about me?"

"Maybe one or two." I scanned the list. Sugilite was also on the list, and used the phrase, "As my third". I wasn't interested. The others on the list weren't worth discussing, either.

"What are my options? What are the terms?"

"You will pick from among the names listed."

"And if I don't?"

"The arena. You will pick four. I will pick four. Harp and Jaguar collectively count as one. Anyone may decline if she wishes. You may veto if you wish. We each get four alternates. If I run out, I will add men."

"I'm not facing men when all your choices decline."

"If something like that happens, we'll deal with it in good faith."

I considered carefully. "All right. What else?"

"Whoever you pick, or whoever wins you in the arena gets you for a year. You will open your heart and give her every chance to win you."

"Three months."

"A year."

"No. I gave you six months of my life already. If she can't convince me in three months, a year isn't going to do it. And she doesn't take me too far from Earth to return me in a timely fashion, either."

"A year."

"Why do you think she's going to need a year? The Octal will need ten minutes. Charoite or the Whiteblacks will only need enough time to convince me I'm going to enjoy sharing a household with them. And we both known none of the other names on this list are in contention."

"A year."

"If I agree to that, then there are things I want."

"What?"

"I want this in writing. I want this list on paper with our terms. I'll draft them. You'll sign it, and then I'll make my selection. But if after I pick, if she changes her mind again, I go home."

"So you'll do something to piss her off?"

"Only by being myself."

She studied me carefully.

"And unlock me from the damned table. You know I'm not going to turn violent."

At that she nodded and released me, then unlocked my wrists. She let me do the ankles, and we set the restraints on the table.

"You could have let me dress properly."

"You are a mating candidate. This is how they dress."

"Fine. Do you agree to my terms or not?"

"Yes," she said. "But I don't have a way to print the list."

"Then do it by hand. You need paper and a pen."

She huffed. "Fine. Wait here."

* * * *

She was gone only a few minutes, returning with a stack of paper and several pens. I leaned back and watched her print out the names. It was a laborious process, and it was clear she had never hand written a note in English in her life. Finally she looked up at me.

"Give me that," I said. "I'll finish it." I reached over and took the paper from her. She'd finished the names, so I outlined our basic agreement underneath it.

I dictated as I wrote.

Andromeda Hayes will select one name from the names of females on this page. She agrees to become a willing, open, joyous, charming, loving mating candidate to the selected woman for a period of one year. If the chosen person declines her offer, or if at the end of the year, Ms. Hayes wishes to be returned home, she will be allowed to return to her human home with no further ill will or restriction.

I looked up at Jasmine. "Agreed?"

"Agreed."

I made room then added two lines, one on either side of the page. Underneath the one on the left, I printed my name. Under the other, I printed Jasmine's. Then I slid the paper across to her.

"Sign above your name. I'll make my choice and sign it."

She took it from me, read it through, then signed it and slid it back. I hid what I was doing and circled one name, then signed in my place, folded the paper once, and handed it back to her.

"I circled my choice. I consider this a binding agreement. If the woman in question doesn't agree, I presume I will allowed to go home."

"Yes," she said. "That is our agreement."

"Excellent." I leaned back and smiled. "Go ahead."

She unfolded the letter then looked up. "You didn't pick anyone."

"I certainly did. I picked one of the names on the page. I circled that name."

"There are twelve names on this page, and not one is circled."

"No, Jasmine. There are fourteen names. And I circled one."

It took her a good fifteen seconds to realize what I had done.

I had circled her name.