Can't Touch This (32 page)

SHIT, SHIT,
SHIT.

My forehead crashed against Vesper’s as I struggled to stop my body’s natural motion and cease thrusting into her. “Is there or is there not someone at the front door?” I squeezed my eyes, hissing in frustration. “The bloody front door that
we
left wide open?”

Vesper pushed my shoulders, grabbing the hem of her dress as we disengaged. It fucking hurt pulling out of her before I’d finished.

Whoever our impromptu guest was pinned us with their gaze. I felt that death stare right down to my unsatisfied balls.

“Unfortunately, your ears did not deceive you,” Ves whispered, quickly straightening her hair and wiping her kiss-swollen lips. “Put that weapon away.”

Turning to the side, so the damn visitor didn’t see my junk, I winced as I tucked away the throbbing-for-the-finish-line erection. There was no disguising it though. I made the executive decision to tuck the length beneath my belt to keep it flat against my stomach and made sure the tip was covered by my t-shirt. It would work until it deflated and then I’d have to do some subtle rearranging.

Vesper shed herself of sex before I did and waltzed from the shadowy corridor with her hand outstretched. “Hello, I’m Vesper. And you are?”

The visitor stood haloed in late afternoon sunshine; I blinked against the glare. Sticking both hands into my pockets, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, I joined the two women who were shaking hands.

“Hi Vesper, I’m Michelle. I was wondering if Ryder Carson was available?”

Me?

What the fuck?

“Can I help you?” My voice was still gruff from being inside my woman. I cleared my throat. “How did you find this location?” Anger that someone had tracked me down and trespassed on our relaxing day of fun overflowed.

Then the woman sidestepped, blocking the sun and revealing my worst nightmare.

Michelle.

As in my
ex
Michelle.

Michelle fucking Kaylan.

The same woman Rupert had been ribbing me about only moments ago. The same woman who’d shot into my thoughts for the first time in years when I told Ves we all had moments of dating mortification.

She
was my mortification.

It had been years. So many years. But she’d left an imprint on me and definitely not for the better.

This was the girl who took my V-card when I was sixteen and then shattered my heart a year later when she decided I was too boring for her. When kids our age were partying and sampling with drugs and alcohol, I preferred to renovate beside my dad and hang with my brother at the river. Because of her.

She’d spread bullshit lies about me that she’d broken up with me because I had crabs and didn’t know where to stick it our first time.

Little bitch had ruined my fragile teenage ego for too long.

“What the
hell
are you doing here?” I crossed my arms.

Vesper’s eyes widened, bouncing from Michelle to me. The damn witch still looked the same with brown shiny hair to her collarbone and calculating dark eyes. Technically, she was pretty (not that she had anything on Vesper). Realistically, she was a bitch.

“I heard you have dogs that need rehoming. I saw your website. I’ve been messaging the past few days but no one replied.”

“It’s the weekend. I don’t work weekends.”

“Oh well, we’re here now. Can we—”

I took a step forward, standing to my full height. “Just how exactly did you get here? My website doesn’t have my home address.”

“I know but—”

“The proper way to go about canine adoption is to fill in the form, give me a few days to do necessary background checks, and then I come to your place with the dog best suited and check out the offered home.” I barged past Vesper, pushing Michelle from the threshold and onto the stoop. “You do
not
come to my personal house and interrupt a very personal—”

“Shag? Does she have any idea of your little problem, Ryder?” She smirked, dropping the stranger act and acknowledging that we knew each other. She looked nastily at Vesper. “You best go see a doctor; that’s all I’m sayin’.”

My temper snapped. “That’s it. Get out.” I pointed at the horizon, noticing a white sedan parked behind Vesper’s dinged up Honda. A little boy climbed out, hugging a tatted teddy bear. “Mummy?”

Shit!

Every profanity I wanted to hurl sucked back into my chest out of decency for innocent ears. However, Vesper didn’t take too kindly to another woman who obviously had history with me making quips about a past I hadn’t discussed.

“Excuse me, Michelle was it?” She smiled coldly. “Ryder and I were busy before your interruption and we have family waiting for us to return. I think it’s best if you do what he said and—”

“Ah shit, if it isn’t Lies-a-Lot Michelle.” Rupert appeared from the lounge, nursing a fresh beer. “We were just talking about you. Funny how the cat drags in unwanted road kill at the worst times.” His gaze landed on Vesper, then me, and finally the little boy now pressed against Michelle’s leg. “Went and got knocked up, huh?”

“As if it’s any of your business, but yes.” Michelle cocked her chin. “This is my son, Nate.”

“Nate.” Rupe’s demeanour blared
‘leave’
but he grinned at the boy. “Hey, man. Want to go for another drive? Your mummy got the wrong address. Time to hop back in the car.”

“But she told me we were going to get a puppy.”

“Not from here, I’m afraid.” I kept my voice low and professional. “If you’re serious about adoption, go through the proper channels.”

Michelle’s face darkened. Pulling a few photos from her silver handbag, she shoved them at me. “Here. This is our home. The yard is fully fenced and the dog would have full rein of the house with his or her own bed.” Patting her son’s head, she swallowed some of her pride. “Please, let us just see which one would work. You could always come and check on us in a few days and see if the dog is comfortable.”

“Please!” The little boy bounced. “Please, please,
please
. Mummy said I’d get a puppy. I can see them. Over there.” He twisted to point at the kennel-barn. “I want one!”

Rupe gave me the look that offered to take over but I wouldn’t let him fight my battles for me. Michelle had no power over me. Not anymore.

And unfortunately, as much as I wanted nothing more than to kick her ass off my property, if she offered a good home for a dog and her son would benefit from a canine best friend, then I had to be the bigger man.

Glancing quickly at Vesper, I touched her hand. “Go with Rupert. I won’t be long.” Sighing heavily, I glared at Michelle. “Fine. I’ll take you over there. But then you’re leaving. I have a party and unfinished important business to get back to.”

MY CLAWS WERE OUT.

I wanted to sink them into Ryder and pull him back. I wanted to scratch the she-devil walking beside him across the meadow to the dog’s barn. And yet all I could do was stand there. Like an idiot. With a damn bleeding heart and snarling stomach.

Rupert came up beside me and nudged my shoulder with his. “I figure you understand enough to know who Michelle is? She’s the one who lied and made Ry a laughing stock at school. I don’t like her.”

“I don’t like her, either.” My voice was venom inside my throat. “Bloody ex girlfriend. What the hell is she doing here? Where did she come from?”

“Not just an ex.” Rupert lowered his voice. “
The
ex. But you have nothing to worry about. She never deserved him and she will never be welcome here. Ever. Ryder will give her a piece of his mind and kick her out. Don’t you worry.”

I swallowed my raging pain, howling at how quickly today had gone from perfect to messy. “Don’t experts say that if you’re still pissed at an ex it means there’s unsolved emotions? That if you can look them in the eye and feel nothing that you’re truly over them?” Angry tears balled in my throat. “Ryder looked at her with rage. Rage is an emotion. Hate is love with a little poison mixed in.”

Oh God, could he still have feelings for her?

I didn’t see a wedding ring on Michelle’s finger which meant she had a child and was most likely on the prowl for a baby daddy.

Rupert took a sip before passing me his beer. I clung to it even though I didn’t like the tangy stuff. “Don’t torture yourself, Ves. I’ve never seen my brother with anyone the way he is with you. You gotta know that he cares a lot for you.”

Cares but has never come out and said how much.

Neither had I.

Did that mean we were both uncertain about the longevity of what lived between us? Were we still on the lookout for something better without even knowing it?

Without thinking, I tipped the beer bottle to my lips and drank the entire thing. Gross cold stuff mingled with the buzz from the vodka mixes. The moment the bottle was empty, I threw it at Rupert and sprinted after Michelle and Ryder.

“Hey!” Rupert called, but I didn’t turn around.

I just kept running like a spy, dodging around the large oak tree, and ignoring the way my heart bled at the sight of a little boy walking in the middle of a woman I hated and a man I loved as if he belonged to both of them.

* * *

“And this is Corn and Chip. They’re Chiweenies.” Ryder scowled, unwilling to do any more than the bare necessities of introduction.

“Oh, they’re so cute!” Nate dropped to his knees and bear hugged the two tiny critters. Instead of running away, the dogs stayed put. One even tentatively licked the little boy’s face.

Oh my God, it hurt.

It hurt because I’d earned a whine and terror from that little dog when trying to heal him. And now a complete stranger from a woman who had Ryder’s heart before I ever did earned a lick.

It was a slap in the damn face.

Hiding around the door, I spied on the trio.

For fifteen minutes, Ryder had leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and barked off names and breeds whenever Michelle pointed to one of interest. His voice was cold but Michelle put on the best freaking act of the century.

“Oh, Ryder,” she cooed. “You have so many. You always did like to fix things.”

He didn’t reply.

Scooping up a Yorkiepoo, she smiled. “Remember my mum had one of these? Remember that night it got into bed with us when we were—”

Ryder snarled, “Stop it. Your kid is present.”

She waved Nate away who was still obsessed with the Chiweenies. “He’s too young to understand the birds and the bees.” Moving toward Ryder, Michelle murmured, “But we weren’t too young, were we? We understood.”

Ryder didn’t move but his body language turned colder and blacker the closer she got. “I’m not here to reminisce, Michelle. Your time is running out. I want to get back to—”

“Your hussy?”

“Fucking excuse me?” Ryder’s voice slipped into menacing growl that I’d never heard before. “Don’t you ever—”

“Come
on
, already. You were screwing her in the corridor. If you loved her, that’s not something you’d do. You’d treat her with kiddy gloves; just like you treated me. You protect those you love, not use them.”

“Stop it.”

“No, not until you admit it. You still think about me. About
us.
” She had the audacity to reach out and touch his chest. “I do. I fantasise about you at night. I miss how gentle—”

Ryder grabbed her wrist, tearing her touch from his body. “You always did live in a decisional world. Don’t touch me. Don’t speak to me. You don’t know a thing about me. You never did. Time to leave.”

Michelle bounced on her high heels, swaying into him. In one awful horrifying moment, she kissed him.

She. Kissed. My. Man.

The bitch.

The
cow.

The shock of what happened made time freeze then Ryder made everything crumble. He shoved her away. “Pick a dog and go.”

“Only if you promise to come and check on him next weekend. We’ll pick up where we left off for old time’s sake.”

Ryder prowled toward her, grabbed her shoulder, and whispered something violent in her ear.

I couldn’t hear.

I
strained
to hear.

But all I got were doggy whuffles and curious barks.

And then he let her go, storming from the barn in the opposite direction. I stood there in shock as Michelle gloated, rubbed her lips, and bent over her son. “You like those two, baby?”

“Yes, yes, yes! They’re the best. Can I have two not one?
Please
?”

“They do look adorable together and the best things come in pairs.” She grinned. “Done. Let’s take them with us before that grumpy man changes his mind.”

Nate nodded, hastily scooping up Chip while Michelle grabbed Corn. My heart cried, but I didn’t move fast enough and Michelle strode toward the door where I was hiding and jumped when I stood up straight from peering around to spy.

“Oh, it’s you.”

I didn’t reply, merely glared at the dogs in her and her son’s arms.

A snarky gleam filled her gaze. “You know, he’ll never feel the same way about you as he did about me.” Nate dashed past, kissing the Chiweenie as it bounced in his arms.

Once the boy had flown away, Michelle crowded me against the door. “Do you know why I tracked Ryder down? Do you know why I ran the risk of upsetting him by showing up unannounced?”

My throat was dry.

I wanted to know. But I didn’t.

Just go away.

I wanted her to never have existed.

I wanted her gone so I could pretend this never happened. Hell, we all had a past. We all had baggage. I just didn’t want to be on a carousel that proudly displayed said baggage. It was meant to stay with the skeletons and bad decisions of days gone by.

“Rather the silent type, aren’t ya?” Michelle smirked. “Well, seeing as you’re too polite to ask, I’ll tell you.” Her voice dropped to a secretive whisper. “The truth is, and I’m so sorry to say this because you obviously thought you stood a chance with him, but Nate…he’s Ryder’s.”

“What?” My mouth hung open. “That can’t be.”

“Oh?” She tossed her brown hair smugly. “Why not? He fucked me. Actually, that’s a lie. He made
love
to me. He loved me. He
begged
me to stay. If I’d been a little smarter when I was younger, there was no way you’d be shacking up with him as a convenient blow-up doll with a pulse.”

My hand itched to slap her bitchy face. Like literally burned to connect. Hard.

“Any who, thought you should know. I’m not going to give up because it’s about time he took some responsibility for his own offspring and not just stray dogs, don’t you think? He’s mine. Always has been, so I’d move along and find some other cock to claim.”

I stumbled.

No, this couldn’t be happening.

Ryder…he wouldn’t—

But what was wrong about him having a kid to another woman? His relationship with Michelle was before me. Before us. His past had every right to make a claim on him.

But did I have a right to ask for a future when he already had a readymade family wanting him back?

No, no, no.

I can’t deal with this.

I’d opened my heart, my soul to him.

I’d willingly fallen, believing he’d be at the bottom waiting to catch me. Now I’d found out he’d not only fallen the wrong way but he would never be there to catch me because he’d be playing house with this cow.

Michelle laughed softly. “I’m not going to stop until he’s mine again. I should never have left it so long but I didn’t know where he’d gone. However, then an old high-school friend came into the salon the other day and told me about this awesome place and who ran it.” She ran her tongue over her lips. “Nate needs his father. I would suggest you stay out of my way.” Brushing past me, she headed up the meadow to her car.

I stood there, breathing erratic, thoughts colliding.

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Rupert and Polly on the deck to the side of the house. Polly waved, trying to get my attention. And Ryder appeared from the front door, his body facing me and not the woman of his child.

He held up his arms in a question. Probably wanting to know what I was doing out here; why he didn’t find me spread legged and waiting for him to slide back inside me after talking with this hoe-bag (and yes the title was entirely apt).

What does he expect will happen now?

That I could
share
him? That I could be step-mum with custody dealings with Michelle freaking Home-Wrecker?

Hell no.

I just couldn’t do it.

I loved him.

I was
in
love with him.

I thought I could keep him all for myself—minus family gatherings and social engagements. I didn’t want to share. With anyone. Let alone an ex-lover.

It hurt so goddamn much.

I need…I need.

I need to think.

To hide.

To run.

Turning around, I bolted.