Authors: Ryan Michele
“I did not. Leave,” I order.
Ransom doesn’t budge. Instead, rage slices across his face, and fear snakes through my gut.
I move to shut the door, desperate to put a barrier between us, but he keeps it open.
“You fucking bitch,” he roars, his fist coming out and plowing into the left side of my face.
My head snaps hard as I fall to the ground. I have never been hit before, especially by a man. The sting, the burn, the shock, the throbbing ache building below the skin’s surface—it all shakes me from the inside all the way out. This is worse than anything I’ve ever felt. My eye stings, and I feel wetness beneath my fingertips.
I scurry backward as Ransom steps in, towering over me. “Seems I need to teach you a lesson.” He kicks me hard with his booted foot in the leg, and I yelp.
As he bends down, I fight with everything in me to get away from him, but he gets ahold of me, pulling me up by my hair.
“Please … don’t,” I beg him, but he laughs.
“You want to be a whore, Tink? I’ll treat you like one.” He slaps me hard across the mouth, and my lip splits from the blow.
I taste the copper of my blood as I swallow and run my tongue over my teeth to make sure none have been jarred loose. Then I hit, kick, and scratch with everything in me, getting in a few licks. One is enough for him to let me go briefly. It isn’t long enough, though. His body is on top of mine. One of his big hands has my arms locked down while he holds me down with his hips.
I register each punch and smack as they come, trying to fight but being subdued. I close my eyes, hoping for it to end, wanting the pain to stop. Then, suddenly, it does.
I open my eyes to see Pops picking Ransom up by his neck and throwing him out the door of my home. Pops doesn’t look back at me. No, his focus is solely on Ransom.
“Aw, come to save your little fuck toy?” Ransom teases. “She needs a real man.”
“A fucking man, huh? Could’ve fooled me. Beatin’ up a woman. That says pussy in my book,” Pops says.
“Fuck you. Only pussy here is you,” Ransom retorts.
Pops charges Ransom, his shoulder hitting Ransom’s gut and pushing him to the ground. I try to keep track of what’s going on, moving closer to the door, but all I see is two men beating each other to a pulp. Pops has blood running down his face from his eye, and Ransom has a busted lip and brow.
I want to stop them, but I know I can’t. I’m just thankful that Ransom is away from me.
Somehow, Pops gets the upper hand and lands three blows in quick succession to Ransom’s head. Ransom’s body falls limp to the ground. Holy shit, did he just kill him? Please no …
Pops stands over Ransom, looking down at him, then spits on him. He strides to me, the look on his face fierce, but as he takes me in, they soften.
“Where are you hurt?”
I don’t hesitate to answer. “My head and side.”
“Let me call the boys,” he says, and I step to the side, letting him into my home before closing the door and locking it. Even though I’ve only known him for a few weeks, something about Pops makes me trust him.
“In the kitchen,” I call out.
He grabs the phone and starts dialing.
I feel the blood running down my face, so I tell him, “I’ll be back,” and move to the bathroom.
As I look at my face in the mirror, tears well. My eyes are starting to swell, and I have three cuts on my face. With trembling hands, I wash my face, knowing I should use soap, but the thought of the burn takes me away from it.
The water in the sink swirls red then pink then clear. I grab a towel and blot my face gently. Looking back in the mirror, I vow to myself that I will never let another man treat me the way Ransom did tonight.
There were no other men to treat me that way, because I grabbed on to Pops, or he grabbed on to me, whichever way you look at it. We’ve been together ever since that night. While I probably should have been scared of him, I never have been and never will be. That man would lay down his life for me in a moment. I love him to the depths of my soul. Not only did he give me two beautiful children, but also a lifetime of smiles and laughs.
Then this asshole tries to come and take all of that away? Not happening. I support my man one hundred percent and will do what I have to in order to help him in any way possible.
I blot the water off my face. The shakes still have me as I look in the mirror. I had my moment. Now it’s time for action. I have a club that needs to be ready for guests. No man will ever come after me again. More to the point, no man will ever hurt my family.
I straighten my spine and head out to make sure of just that.
I fell asleep last night on the couch while the movie kept playing, but I wake up in Buzz’s room with a very warm man wrapped around me. Man, I’ve missed him.
I haven’t physically seen him in way too long, and my body hums being this close. And my heart … Well, I’m ignoring it because, if I don’t, I’ll end up getting hurt at the end of all of this. And I’m Bella Stenger; I don’t get hurt. No, the hurt of losing my father was enough for me to never allow myself to be hurt again.
When he left me, I had no one. Well, I still have my father’s brother and his family, but I’m mostly alone. That is why Angel, my old college friend and GT’s ol’ lady, and I got along so well. She lost her father, too. She never talked about her mother, and I couldn’t. Why? Because I never met her.
Her name is Lucia. She disappeared as soon as I was born, leaving me with the only man I’ve ever loved—my father, Chad.
My dad never spoke ill of her. I think he actually loved her, although she ditched us. Over the years, I thought about tracking her down. Surely, there’s a way to do that, but I never have. I don’t see a point to it, really. She didn’t want me then, so why on earth would she want me now? Besides, some things are better left untouched.
The funny thing is, once I met Angel in one of our classes together, I didn’t feel so alone anymore. Sure, we went through some shit when she lost her baby and then with Jace, but we held strong, even after she moved back to Sumner from Cherry Vale. For that, I’m eternally grateful. There is nothing worse than feeling alone in a world with so many people.
I know what you’re thinking—she always has a man. True, I do, but I’ve never been in a relationship. Before the whole Jace turning out to be an asshole debacle, I liked to have fun. If that meant bringing home a man or even dating one for a period of time, I did it. I like sex, so sue me.
My therapist said I was “
trying to fill a void because I missed my father
.” It could be true. Who knows? What I do know is that since Buzz came into my life, not one of those idiots holds a candle to him. None, and I don’t even want to try.
Every single time I’ve been with Buzz, it has drawn me into him more. I never realized how much I need to have the dominance of a man, one who tells me what he wants so I don’t have to guess. Buzz tells me everything, step by step.
It’s not like I’m a robot or anything like that. No. Not even close. It’s that I don’t have to think. I can put everything else in my life to the side and only focus on the moment with Buzz. I don’t have to relive my father’s death or feel the abandonment from my mother or even think about the guys who have come and gone from my life, proving they didn’t have a clue what they were doing.
With Buzz, I can be in the moment, and I love that about him.
It’s not just the sex with Buzz, though. It’s him. The whole package. The best thing that happened to us was me going back up to Cherry Vale to school. Yes, truth. Our relationship began so physical that having that time on the phone or via Skype is what made me fall for the guy. However, maybe those conversations weren’t so good because falling for a man like Buzz isn’t a good thing. Damn.
I’ve seen the women around the clubhouse. Angel has told me stories, and I know at any time, Buzz could have whoever he wants. The thought of him with another woman slices a hole in my soul.
Even if I remind myself more times than I can count that Buzz isn’t mine, it doesn’t help in the least. If anything, it only pushes the knife in deeper. I have no knowledge of him with anyone else, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a real possibility.
My chest constricts.
The arm around my waist tightens. “What’re you thinkin’ about so hard?” Buzz’s sleepy, rough voice is so damn sexy. How he knew I was awake, I have no clue. I haven’t moved a single inch.
“You,” I answer honestly.
One thing I’ve never done with Buzz is lie to him. Even if we’re in the middle of heated sex and things aren’t working for me, I tell him. He says, “
Communication is the most important thing in our relationship
,” and I agree.
“What about?” he presses, shifting his body and pulling me more securely to him.
I wiggle, getting comfortable. “How I like being free.”
“What do you mean
free
?” he asks, moving his body down and aligning our faces so we look into each other’s eyes.
His are sexy blue, and the more I stare at them, the more they draw me in. They are like a drug, pulling me and making me addicted to this man, which isn’t good. But in this moment with his attention fully on me, I can’t help letting the pull captivate me.
“I like that when I’m with you, I don’t have to worry about anything. I can let my mind go blank, and I know that you’ll take care of me.”
He reaches over and plants a kiss on my forehead, sending tingles down my neck.
“I know I can trust you not to push me beyond what I can take.”
“I like that, too,” he whispers seductively, and I can’t stop the smile from forming. “I love it when you bite your lip like that.” I release it with a pop, not realizing I was doing it. “So fucking sexy, Bella.”
“Oh, yeah?” I tease. “That the only thing you find sexy about me?”
He brushes the hair away from my forehead, placing it behind my ear, the touch soft and comforting. “Nah, I find pretty much every move you make sexy: the sway of those fucking hips, your eyes when you’re pissed off, your laugh—pretty much everything.”
My heart stops for a moment, and then I will it to stop beating so damn fast. He has never said these things to me before. Sure, while we’re fucking, he’ll say something about my body, but never just lying in bed, looking into one another’s eyes like this. Ever.
My heart wants to read so much into this, but my brain is smarter.
You cannot fall. You’ll get hurt.
“You’re pretty sexy yourself, big guy,” I say back, instead.
“Fuck, give me those lips.”
My body full-out shivers as I lean into him and let him take my mouth. And take, he does.
I try to give it back to him. With any other man, I could hold my own, but this is Buzz. He is the dominator. He is the ruler, and I love it.
I get so lost in the kiss that I don’t feel him roll me so he’s on top. I also don’t register my legs involuntarily opening for him to fall between or that he’s sucking the air out of my lungs until he pulls away, and I gasp, trying to get oxygen inside of me.
He stares at me. What I wouldn’t give to know what is behind those eyes. Just a small little imprint into his brain. I think about asking him, but fear of the answer stops me.
He bends down and rubs his nose along mine in a move so tender I close my eyes briefly and enjoy it.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he tells me as I open my eyes again, happiness warming me. “Fuckin’ love when you smile.” At that, my smile widens.
“You’re not too bad yourself, stud,” I say playfully, and when I get his smirk, my insides melt. Damn, I love when he does that one little movement.
“Stud?” He raises his brow, his tone teasing.
“Yep, like in
Grease.
Sandy says ‘
Tell me about it, stud
.’ ” I full-out laugh.
He brushes hair away from my face. “I know somethin’ that needs to get dirty.”
The smile is sucked from my face as his lips come down in a penetrating kiss. I meet him as best I can, following his lead, but each second his lips are on mine, my heart squeezes more than before. God, this man can kiss. The best I’ve ever had, bar none.