Captive (7 page)

When I licked the bead of moisture from his tip, I met his eyes and saw raw need. I took all of him in my mouth then, working my mouth up and down, fueled by his murmurs and groans of satisfaction.

“Shit, baby … Kate … ah, fuck …”

These were the sounds only I brought out of him, and God, how I loved doing it. I moved faster, taking in as much of him as I could. I knew how to push him over the edge, but I wanted to listen to him enjoying it a little longer.

“Fuck,” he muttered, throwing his head back. “Baby, it’s been so long … Jesus, I love it when you hum like that. I think I’m gonna blow a hole through the back of your head.”

I cupped his balls in my hand and squeezed gently. This was the trigger that got him off every time. He yelled out my name and swore so loudly I was glad the apartment was soundproof. His body tensed and I drank him in eagerly.

His muscles fell slack and I moved back, seeing that he was gripping the island counter for support.

“Fucking hell.” He exhaled deeply and smiled. “That was incredible.”

I smiled and stood up. Ryke pulled me back against his chest, his powerful arms enveloping my small body. It had been so long since I’d felt his warm, bare body against mine this way. I closed my eyes and snuggled against him.

“Are you hungry?” I asked softly. “We can eat.”

“Yeah, I’m hungry,” he said, leaning back. I could tell by the gleam in his eye he wasn’t talking about stir-fry.

“I’m not back on the pill yet,” I said, bending down to retrieve my nightshirt. When I stood, his gaze raked over me in a dark, sexual way that told me only I could sate his hunger.

“When will you be?”

“Um … I have my six-week checkup Tuesday, and I’ll get my pills then. But … are you … ? I mean, that was good for you … right?”

The lust in his eyes cooled a little and he stepped closer, resting his hands lightly on my hips.

“You were perfect. I just need more of you. I feel … frustrated.” He smiled. “You like that, right, when I just say how I’m feeling?”

“Yes, and I’m sorry.” I ran my fingers over the hard, thick lines of his biceps. “Of course you’re frustrated. It’s been almost six weeks. Anytime you want a blowjob, tell me.”

His hands slid from my hips to the silky fabric of my panties, and he sank his fingers into my ass cheeks. I couldn’t help it, I moaned a little.

“This whole thing has been brutal, baby. I wanted the baby, too, but seeing you hurt and not being able to fix it is killing me. I’ve got this constant pressure in my chest and it fucking hurts. I have to get it out, so I’m kicking ass on the ice. But I’m being a dick to people, too.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Stop saying that!” His eyes darkened and he closed them, taking a deep breath. “You haven’t done anything to be sorry for. And it won’t get better if you blow me every day. I need the connection to you we only get from sex. It’s the way I love you.”

“I miss it, too,” I admitted. His hands slid up to the waistband of my panties and he edged his fingers inside, his fingertips raking down in a smooth path that bared me to him completely.

“We can make due til we’re safe,” he said, lifting my hips in a swift motion and setting me on the island. “But I’m not waiting any longer to feel you come.”

He slid my legs apart and bent down, his eyes never leaving mine. When he pushed my thighs back with his shoulders, I leaned on my hands, the feel of his breath on my skin making me break out in goosebumps.

“Oh, God, Ryke.” I shivered, unprepared for this. I hadn’t had a bikini wax in … way too long, and I was so exposed by the light from the two globes above the island. The closer his breath got to my apex, the more I tensed with apprehension.

“I’ve missed that sound,” he murmured, his lips dropping to kiss my inner thigh. “The way you say my name.”

He blew a light, warm breath on my skin, making me quiver like nothing ever had. It was a new sensation, and when his breath reached the opening caused by my spread thighs, I cried out loudly and my legs tensed around his neck.

“Ah! Ryke!” I was whimpering, dizzy with arousal so intense I wasn’t sure I could stand it. My body was so sensitive after six weeks of nothingness. His warm breath caressed me over and over, until I had to thrust my hips forward and reach him.

With a low sound of satisfaction, he ran his tongue up the line of my opening. My back arched and I reached my fingers into his hair, twisting and pulling to get him closer to me. Like him, I wanted more. I wanted to tell him he could fuck me right now, but I couldn’t let myself be so stupid.

He slid a long finger inside me, and an incoherent moan came out of my mouth. When he groaned and bit the sensitive skin of my inner thigh just hard enough to hurt, a charge of arousal coursed through me, hot and sweet.

“So wet,” he said in a low tone. “You need to be fucked, baby. Long and hard.”

“I want you.” I moaned and gripped his hair with all my strength. “I want you, Ryke.”

I looked down and met his warm, dark honey colored eyes. A small smile curved the corners of his lips up and he curled his finger inside me, making me gasp with pleasure. Then he slid it out slowly and slipped it into his mouth, sucking it hungrily. My skin flushed as I watched him. This man did things to my body I hadn’t known were possible before him.

“You taste so fucking good,” he said, reverence in his voice. He continued teasing me with light licking and blowing air on my sensitive, throbbing opening. I writhed against his mouth, panting and ready to explode with frustration.

He hummed his amusement and finally put pressure where I needed it with his tongue.

“Oh, God, Ryke …” I fell back onto my elbows. “Please don’t stop.”

And he didn’t. I let the euphoria wash over me, my head falling back and my thighs tensing around his neck. When he reached up and pinched one of my nipples just hard enough, an orgasm rocketed through me. I cried out his name so many times I lost count, the pleasure reaching every nerve in my body.

He knew exactly how long to keep the pressure on to make it last and last. When he finally pulled away, I dropped to the counter, breathless.

I laughed at the feeling of carefree, pure relaxation that filled me for the first time in a long, long while.

“I love you,” I said loudly, still laughing. “So much, Ryke. You just … melt me into a puddle. Still. I think you always will.”

“You melt me, too, baby,” he said, taking my hand to help me up. “Let’s go eat in bed.”

“You wanna snuggle?” I asked, raising my brows playfully. He glared and smacked my ass lightly when I slid down from the island.

“Hockey players don’t snuggle,” he reminded me for at least the dozenth time. “We fuck our women senseless and then go to sleep.”

“Right. I forgot.” I scooped lukewarm stir-fry onto plates. “And if you happen to spoon me and stroke my hair and whisper sweet things in my ear …?”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I must be fucking you so well you get delusional after.”

“Must be.” I smiled at him and reached into the fridge for two bottles of water.

“God, you’re beautiful. Your body … and your long hair … the big brown eyes … and it’s all real. I love that nothing about you is fake.”

I flushed self-consciously as his gaze roamed my body, his erection coming back to life.

“Guess I don’t have to worry about gaining weight or getting stretch marks,” I cracked. “The upside to not having children.”

“Baby, stop.” Ryke put our plates back on the counter and laid his hands on my shoulders, squeezing them. “Pregnant or not, stretch marks or not, I love you. You’re my perfect girl.”

I nodded and smiled. He was so much more than just sexy.

“Let me heat that up,” I said, reaching for the plate he’d picked up.

“Nah, let’s get to bed. I’m sore and I need to find something soft and warm to wrap myself around. But not snuggle, since I don’t do that.”

“Will you whisper in my ear?”

“Always, baby.”

When she pulled back the foil covering, the scent of Rose’s peanut butter cookies made my stomach rumble with approval.

“Grab some, Kate. Go on, honey,” she said, pushing the plate toward me. This was definitely a bonus to leading the Tuesday night group, which I did as often as I could.

I took two cookies and sat down, and the half dozen people who’d come to the grief support group meeting followed my lead.

“I’m glad you guys are here,” I said. “You’re all regulars, so you know you can share or not share, and that this is a confidential group. Carlos, will you start us off?”

“Hey, guys, I’m Carlos and I lost both my parents to cancer. I’m doing okay, you know? It’s been a while for me. But I still like coming here, you know, cause maybe I can help someone else by listening.”

The door opened and we all turned to see a petite, dark-haired woman trying to creep in as quietly as possible. It was Gina, who had only been to a couple meetings so far. She’d lost her husband to a rare form of cancer while she was pregnant.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, blowing a curl out of her face and hauling up the handle of a car seat with a small, dark-haired baby in it. “My sitter cancelled. It just helped so much last week … coming here, so I thought I’d see if Lily might sleep through the meeting.”

“I’m so glad you came,” I said, patting the empty seat next to me. Carlos got up and carried the car seat the rest of the way for her. I couldn’t help glancing at Lily’s angelic face. So tiny and perfect. My heart twisted in my chest.

I cleared my throat. “Okay. Carlos?”

“I’m done,” he said. I moved to the next person, willing myself not to look at the sleeping baby beside me. It worked, for a few minutes. But then, a little whine sounded, and I glanced over. Gina used her foot to rock the seat, and Lily’s face settled back into peaceful baby bliss.

I was listening to the meeting, but stealing looks into the car seat as often as I could. Surprisingly, it wasn’t making me sad. I wanted to hold the baby and smell her and try my minimal swaddling skills on her. Rock her and smooth my hand over her fine hair.

It hit me like a slap across the face. I wanted this. I wanted a baby, and I didn’t care whether I gave birth to it or not. If Gina was crazy enough to offer me her daughter right now, I’d weep for joy and love her with every fiber of my being.

I’d always known adoption was an option, but I assumed I’d need more time to grieve the loss of my pregnancy. I still grieved for what could have been, but I couldn’t hold back the hope spreading through me. Before seeing Lily, I wouldn’t have thought I was ready. But now I could hardly wait to get home and talk to Ryke.

He had a day off, and as soon as the meeting finished and I checked my phone I saw a text asking me to meet him at a bar nearby. The images I’d avoided since the miscarriage resurfaced: our guest room decorated all in white as a nursery, Ryke cradling our child in his large arms, me giving a smiling infant a bath. I drove to the bar as fast as my car would allow, groaning loudly when I couldn’t find a decent parking place.

I threw the car into park a block from the bar and ran, the rush of cool air into my lungs making me even more invigorated. When I walked into the bar, I was breathless. Ryke, Luke and two other players from their team sat at a table near the bar, and I rushed to it.

Two more than willing women stood next to the table, one of them looking at my husband and biting her lower lip. I blew past them into Ryke.

“Hey, baby,” he said, grinning.

“I’m so happy to see you.” I couldn’t stop smiling. His expression softened; he hadn’t seen me so happy in a while.

“Back at ya.” He pulled me into his lap in one quick motion and I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Did you run here?”

I nodded and looked around. The lip biter had turned to Luke, and we had relative privacy. I leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“Can we adopt a baby? Please?”

He pulled back and met my eyes. “Now?”

I nodded, apprehension hitting for the first time. I’d been so up and down emotionally lately that he might not think I was in any condition to make such a huge decision.

“Yeah. Absolutely,” he said.

“Really?” My heart hammered with excitement.

He grinned and brushed the hair away from my face. “I’m all in if you are.”

I swung a leg over his lap so I was straddling him and pressed my chest against his, hugging him with all my strength. “Thank you,” I said in his ear. “I love you.”

His arms covered my entire back as he held me to him. I could hardly stand my excitement. Whether or not it was biologically ours, I knew I’d be hopelessly in love with our baby the moment I saw it. Now I just had to figure out how to make it happen.