Cardinal (28 page)

I smile. “It
kinda is, isn’t it?” She kisses my temple and leans away. It’s then I notice
she’s dressed the same as my dad. “What’s with the Moody Blues?”

“It’s the
first concert I went to with your father. We still had the t-shirts!”

“Let me get
a picture of all three of you and then one with the boys.” Jules starts ordering
us around. My parents stand on either side of me and wrap their arms behind my
waist. Jules raises her camera and says, “Say pickles!”

“What?” My
mouth falls open just as she takes the picture. “Ugh. Take another one.”

She takes a
few shots, and then I pose with my brothers. “’Sup.” Josh jerks his chin,
trying to look like a badass. It doesn’t work; he’s a much more boyish version
of Pete.

“I’ll take
that as a hello,” I say.

“Way to go,
Little J!”  Adam tries to give me a noogie, but I jump out of the way.

“Adam!”  I
slap at him. “Would you act your age?  Jesus.”

“I don’t
think they’re used to seeing you like this,” Pete says. He slaps Adam on the
back of the head. “Don’t mess up her hair, dick face.”

“Hey, now.”
My dad uses his stern voice. Coupled with his signature glare, it’s enough to
make my grown brothers behave.

Once my
family steps to the side, I hug the crew from Torque and sign things for them. “You
guys know you can get my autograph anytime. You didn’t have to come all the way
here.”

“Mi amor.” Felix’s
voice is smooth. “Montamos en el coche siempre para ti.”

“Huh?” I
frown.

“We all
rode in your car.” Gwen sounds as excited as my mom. “It was cozy but fun!”

“All five
of you fit in my car?” My surprised eyes jump to Pete. “I thought only you and
Jules were bringing it back.”

I had to
get my car from Chicago somehow, so the plan was for the two of them to drive
it to Michigan for the concert. Then, after, they would take the train home.

“Road
trip!”  Carter grins. “Any excuse to see our favorite bartender.”

Gwen elbows
him. “Thanks a lot.”

“What?” He
shrugs. “She’s your favorite, too.”

“Okay, you’re
right.” Gwen gives me a smile.

I feel a
tap on my arm and turn around to see Roxanne behind me. She whispers, “I’m all
for the family reunion, but we need to keep the line moving.”

I nod and
face everyone. “Okay, guys. I’ll see you from the stage.”

“We get to go
to the after party, right?”

I nod my
head and push Adam’s arm. “Yes. Go. I’ll see you later.”

Everyone
waves goodbye, and my parents give me a quick kiss. Pete lets the group walk
ahead of him and then quietly asks, “After “Over-Exposed”, right?”

“Yep.” I grin
my first legit grin in weeks. Operation Propose to Jules is officially in
motion.

“Break a
leg.” Pete fist bumps me.

“You, too.”

He starts
to walk away, then stops. “Listen. I caught the look on your face earlier. I’m
sorry Latson isn’t here with us. I tried to talk him into –”

“Stop.” I
push on his arm like I did Adam’s. “It’s fine. Go have a good time.”

Pete smirks
like he doesn’t believe me, then leaves through the exit. Before I turn around
to meet the next person, I take a deep breath. The last thing I need right now
is to get emotional. I have one more show to play, and it’s important. After
tonight, I can wallow in misery for as long as I want. It will make me happy.

Cardinal
rule.

“Think what you want

See what you see

Deal with the lies that you
think of me.

All I ever am

And all I’ll ever be

Is the truth behind the lens

That you’ll never see.

I’m over -exposed

And it’s still not enough

I’m over-exposed

Your mind has me cuffed

I’m over-exposed

How much can I bleed

I’m over-exposed

To fulfill your need.”

Drew beats
the shit out of the cymbals to finish the song, and I hold the last note on the
Fender longer than usual. Paul’s practically diving off the front of the stage,
and Dean’s clutching the mic like he’s trying to strangle someone.

Hey. It’s our
last show. Time to go big or go…  Wait. We are going home.

The crowd
roars for us. They sound louder than usual, probably because my family and
friends are screaming the place down. They’re only a few rows back, toward the
center aisle on the main floor, and they’ve been going strong the entire set. I’m
glad they’re having a good time.

“Thank
you!” Dean shouts into the mic. He wipes the sweat from his brow, then turns
around and looks at me for the go ahead. I nod.

“So,” he swings
his guitar to the side, “I don’t know if you all know, but ah…our rhythm
guitarist hails from the Motor City.”

Drew bangs the
bass drum a couple times and the crowd cheers. I step forward and wave. I can
see Jules, Gwen, and my mom jumping up and down.

“Jen’s
family is here tonight.” Dean takes his mic off the stand and looks at me. “Would
you like to do the honors?”

“Sure, Dean.”
My voice echoes through the arena. Suddenly, I feel like June Carter Cash on
stage with Johnny. “If you’ll all bear with me, I’d like to ask my brother Pete
and his girlfriend Juliana to join me on stage. There’s something we need to
take care of that’s long overdue.”

Much to the
confusion of my family and friends, my brother grabs Jules’ hand and leads her
away from their seats. The audience whistles and claps as a cameraman focuses
on the couple and projects them on every screen in the place. When they get
close to the stage, security escorts them over to me.

“What are
you doing?” Jules asks through a forced smile. “I didn’t bring my tambourine.”

I laugh,
remembering our conversation about our fake band. “I’m going to let my brother
take it from here,” I say and back away. I glance at Pete, and he gently takes
both of Jules’ hands. He stares into her eyes, and I hold the mic between the
two of them so everyone can hear.

“Juliana –”

The crowd
goes crazy as soon as Pete says her name.

“I can’t
remember a time in my life without you. You’re my rock, my best friend, my
voice of reason, and my partner in crime.”

He drops to
one knee and the fans grow louder. My eyes jump to my parents, and I see my mom
hanging on to my dad’s arm. Gwen, Carter, and Felix are hanging on to each
other in anticipation, too. My attention falls back on Jules and her mouth is
hanging open. She tries to cover it with one hand, but my brother won’t let her
go.

“It’s time
to formally ask you to be my partner in life,” Pete says and scoots closer to Jules.
“Juliana Louise. Will you marry me …” He leans away from the mic. “Again?”

Her eyes
get teary as she enthusiastically nods yes. The audience cheers, my band mates
clap, and Pete jumps up, grabbing Jules and spinning her around. When he sets
her down he kisses her, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out her ring. She
gasps when she sees it and holds out a shaky hand. My brother slides it onto
her finger, and it sparkles in the stage lighting.

“Congratulations
you guys,” I say into the mic and my voice echoes. “It’s about time I got a
sister.” The two of them turn and make me the meat in a Jules and Pete sandwich.

“How long
have you two been planning this?” Jules whispers in my ear.

“Since I
found out you were
married,
” I whisper back.

She leans
away with wide eyes and I smirk. “Oh, yeah. I knew.”

“Thanks a
lot, Little J.” Pete hugs me once more. “We’ll never forget this.”

Me, neither,
I think. Despite how empty my heart has been,
it swells with emotion for Jules and Pete. They have the real thing, and it’s
beautiful. Because of them I know true love exists. It’s out there, and I can
only hope one day it will find me.

~~~~

“There you
are.”

I hear
Pete’s voice and look over my shoulder. I wanted some time to myself, but I
guess twenty minutes is all I’m allowed.

My brother
exits the pool area of the hotel and pulls a patio chair next to mine. The
scraping sound against the pavers makes me flinch. “There’s one hell of a party
happening upstairs,” he says as he sits down. “Why are you out here all by
yourself?”

I shrug. The
outdoor patio at the hotel seemed like a nice place to get away and look at the
stars. “It’s a warm night for September. I wanted to enjoy it.”

He shoots
me a skeptical look. “And?”

“And I
needed a minute,” I say. “I can only watch mom try to do the “Wobble” so many
times.”

Pete laughs.
“You can blame Jules and Gwen for that little show.”

I roll my
eyes, but still smile.

“Seriously,
though,” he sets his hand on my knee and shakes it, “What’s wrong?  The show
was great. We pulled off the proposal.”

“I know.”

“Plus, you’re
going to write for Ariel and become a mega-millionaire.” He grins. “By the way,
I am your favorite brother, right?”

I snort. “You
may be my favorite, but I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for millions.” I look
across the patio. “It just hit me, that’s all.”

“What did?”

“That it’s
over,” I say. “The tour. Chicago. Torque. Hanging out with you guys. Latson and
me …”  I rub my arms like I’m cold. “It’s all over.”

“Little J.”
Pete’s voice turns empathetic. “If you want to come back to Chicago with me and
Jules, you can. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

“And live
in the same building as the man who hates me?  I don’t think so.”

“Who said
he hates you?”

My eyebrows
jump. “I would think a month of silence screams hatred. He hasn’t tried to
contact me.”

“Have you
tried to talk to him?”

“No,” I
mutter at the ground. “I tried to apologize in person. He didn’t want to hear
it.”

“It was a
hard day,” Pete says. “Maybe he’s ready to hear it now.”

I frown. Since
when is Pete in Latson’s corner?  “Are you defending him?”

“No. I’m –”

“It sounds
like you’re defending him. He’s mad at me over an accident, Pete.” Well, two
accidents.

“Listen. Did
you ever stop to think that he –” Pete hesitates, then lets his head fall back.
“Fuck it.”

“Fuck
what?”

He looks at
me. “Both of you are messed up over this. I’m sick of seeing you sad.”

I get
sarcastic. “You’ve only seen me one day.”

“You’re
forgetting the rest of the weekend when this whole thing happened. Not to
mention I’ve had to listen to your depressed voice every time I call.” He
reaches into his pocket and pulls out my car keys. He starts to hand them over,
but stops. “Before I give these to you, I need to know one thing.”

“What?”

“When you
said you loved Latson,” he sighs, “did you mean it?”

I’m
confused. “How do you know I said that?” I’ve only told Ariel how I felt.

Pete points
at me. “If anyone finds out I told you this I’m going to say I don’t remember
because I was drunk.”

Maybe he
really is drunk. He’s not making much sense. “Okay.”

“Dean sent
a video to Latson,” he says. “It was from the bus. You can’t see much, but you
can hear voices. Ariel asks if you could tell Latson anything, what would it be?
You answered that you love him.”

My eyes
narrow. Dean was recording me?

“So?” Pete
gets impatient. “Do you really love him?”

“Of course
I do. I don’t profess my devotion for people if I don’t mean it.”

He hands me
my keys. “You need to go home now.”

“Home?  As
in –”

“Your
apartment. And before you get mad, yes, I made a copy of your key.”

My heart
starts to pound. “Is Latson –”

Pete stands
and pulls me to my feet. “Don’t ask questions. Just go. I already gave too much
away.”

I take a
step, then start to sprint toward the pool room doors. “Don’t speed!” Pete
calls out.

Jogging
through the hotel, I burst through the front doors and into the parking lot. I
have no idea where my brother parked my car, so after going up and down a few
rows, I give up and push the panic button on my key ring. Once I find it, I jump
in and head to the expressway. It’s not long before I realize I ran off and left
everything I own at the hotel. I don’t even have my driver’s license on me.

Shit. I’ll
have to make a trip back in the morning.

During the
drive to my place, a million thoughts swirl in my mind. Is Latson really
there?  If he’s not, something else certainly is. What it could be?  Dean’s
covert video obviously made an impression, which reminds me of Ariel’s
expression when she asked me her question. Was she in on this, too?

When I pull
into my apartment complex, I spot Dorothy right away. Latson is here. I park
next to his car, then jump out of mine. Racing inside, I take the stairs two at
a time until I’m outside my door. I raise my hand to knock, but stop when it
seems weird. It’s my apartment. Plus, it’s almost three a.m. Latson’s probably sleeping.
On what, I don’t know because I need to replace my furniture. The carpet,
maybe?  At least it’s new. I need to stop rambling and just open the damn door
already.

Placing the
key in the lock, I try to be quiet when I turn the knob. I step inside and
notice all the lights are off except for a strange blue glow coming from the
living room. Closing the door behind me, I take a few stealthy steps until I’m
staring in awe. Light from a fish tank I never had illuminates my place, and there,
on a brand new couch surrounded by all new furniture, lies a sleeping Oliver snuggled
against a sleeping Latson. After my rush to get here, my pulse slows to a steady
pace. Everything about this feels right. I can see myself coming home to these
two every day of my life.

Soft sounds
coming from the corner lure me over to stand in front of the fish tank. A lump
forms in my throat when I realize what’s inside. Four seahorses are hiding
amongst the seaweed and coral; two are a grayish color, one is yellow, and
another is red. They float weightlessly, hanging on to the plants with their
tails. They’re gorgeous. I know this had to be Oliver’s idea, and it makes my
heart melt.

“Hey,” a
sleepy voice whispers as arms slowly wrap around my waist. “You’re home early.”

I fall back
against Latson’s chest and close my eyes, content to be there. He kisses the
side of my neck before setting his chin on my shoulder. “Do you like them?”

I nod. “They’re
beautiful.”

He holds me
tighter. “I hope you don’t mind we named them. O couldn’t wait.”

I smile and
open my eyes. “What are they?”

“The two
gray ones are Oliver and Uncle Gunnar,” he says. “The yellow one is Ed, and the
red one is Jen.”