Authors: Margery Allingham
âNary a thing, lady.' said Morty. âI've just been grilled by experts but I've stuck to my story and they're making no charges.'
âHumph! That's a fat lot of help. Can't you do better than that? I got most of the gen up at Forty Angels.'
Morty considered. His new acquaintance was disarming and he found himself anxious to help.
âAs far as I know a plain clothes policeman called Sibling was beaten up last night by a couple of men who probably mistook him for somebody elseâa trespasser, perhaps. I doubt if it will make headlines.'
âMaybe not, but that's the editor's pidgin and he can work it out as he pleases. Saltey is bursting with policemen and they're all as mum as oysters, so
they
think there's something in the wind. Now just hang on half a jiffy whilst I get this on the wire. Thanks for the name, by the way. Hope it's spelt in the proper way.'
She turned and scuttled into the box, her large sensible shoes making the pebbles leap from her path.
Her methods with the telephone had the same touch of forthright amateurishness which characterised her treatment of transport. She made two short calls and preceded each with a sharp blow to the side of the instrument which appeared to produce instant results. She emerged wiping her hands on a large bandana handkerchief.
âFilthy places. Not enough grooming done to keep them tickety-boo. Still, this one works which is more than can be said of the one up the road. Now, Mr Kelseyâyou are Mortimer Kelsey, I suppose?âI think we ought to have a chinwag. Too early for a snifter but do you suppose your landlady could rustle up a coffee?'
Morty supposed that she could and suggested the four ale bar known as The Snug, a small highly varnished nook which was completely private and away from the main saloon. Before
she joined him his guest strode back to her charger, opened a container beside the saddle and produced a battered black briefcase, which she tucked under her arm.
âIn here, I think, Miss Weatherby.'
âOh, it's
Mrs
Weatherby. But not to worry. I'm still Monica Sparrow to most people, even if poor old Hugo's been dead these thirty years. Sparrow, you know, of Sparrow's Manor, or used to be. This area is still Sparrow's Hundred though I don't own an acre of it.'
âMy respects, ma'am,' said Morty. âTwenty square miles to the Hundred down here and twenty seven in Yorkshire where they call it a Wapentake. I've done my homework, you see, even if it's not my period.'
âGood man.' Mrs Weatherby slammed her case on to the scrubbed table and planted herself firmly on the bench behind it. âI know it's not. I've done some research on you myself, which is not difficult for a nosey old woman like me. I always tell 'em “I only ask because I want to know” and that's how I earn my living. And by the wayâno jokes about sparrows. I know them all and I know my face is like a dilapidated barn owl. My friends call me Mon and the rest of 'em, behind my back, refer to me as the Sparrowhawk. Very little goes on between here and Nine Ash that I don't know about, and what I don't know I can piece together better than a dozen policemen.'
âI can believe that.' Morty warmed to her. âThat's fine and dandy because a little solid information is just what I'm looking for. You know about Dr Jones and her correspondents, for example?'
âHa! Your young woman. A fine gal by the look of her. Hook her up whilst the going is good and don't waste your time doing the odd spot of knight errantry just to prove that you're worth your salt. Take her away, raise a family and let that derelict property down the road go to perdition which is where it belongs.'
Morty blushed. The thought that his feelings were so patent
to any outside observer shook him and he reacted defensively.
âI . . . I hardly know her, to tell you the truth. But she is the victim of a conspiracy and I'm darn well going to get to the bottom of it.' He outlined the history of the letters.
âConspiracy, eh?' Mrs Weatherby sipped her coffee meditatively and it seemed to Morty that she was sifting through a forest of family trees, sorting evidence from hearsay and diagnosing by innate instinct.
âConspiracy,' she repeated. âWell, I suppose it could be. I haven't seen any of themâthe letters, I meanâmyself, more's the pity, or I might have put paid to it months ago. You think several different hands are at work? Are they written with a pen, typed or put together out of bits of newspaper?'
Morty explained as best he could. When he came to think of it, his knowledge was very incomplete, but he made a good witness and he recited all that the landlord of The Demon had told him of the latest arrival. Mrs Weatherby listened in silence but she checked the points on the long bony fingers of one hand, tapping each digit sharply down on the table as she did so.
âFour different groups, eh? You could call the first of them Catty and Archâthat would be a woman of course, possibly one of old Mossy Ling's cousins and there are three of those, all as like as turkey cocks. Next, Smug. I'd say that means Jonah Woodrose, for a ducat. Then you say Informed but with Malice and Professional Know-how? There is only one man hereabouts in that category who fits the bill and he's Alan Sullivan, a retired insurance agent who does tax work and knows everybody's business. An acid little runt with duck's disease. Finally, Wicked Religiousâa pretty wide field, what? An elderly female on the Kytie side of the fence without a doubt. Choice of three there. Ethel Wishart, a distant cousin of H.O.'s, old Mrs Waters who's practically ga-ga and Bob Felgate's wife Norah, a toothy vixen and a pillar of Nonconformity with a mind like a cesspool. Not a nice collection and just about what I'd guessed all along. Pick 'em by the heels, shake 'em
all out, see what drops on to the ground and you'll have the answer.'
âIsn't that a job for the police?'
âFiddle faddle!' Mrs Weatherby was contemptuous. âThey'll never get near it in a month of Sundays. Only thing to do is to frighten the ringleader if you can locate him or her. I'll have a word with Jonah and see if I can put a pinch of ginger under his tail. He knows more than is good for him and always did. He's not a Woodrose for nothing. You can say I'm an interfering old witch if you like but this place has a bad enough name already without adding poison pens.' She chuckled reminiscently. âYes, it would be quite a kick to stop Jonah's earth for once. The Woodroses, don't you know, still talk about “their people”, meaning anyone who once worked for them or their descendants. They are not feudalâthey're tribal. The Kyties were just the same in their timeâplaying Montagues and Capulets over less than half a dozen farms and a little bit of coastal business. That's why both factions were so angry when old Kitty Kytie left her house to a stranger.'
âAngry enough to kill Hector Askew, simply because he drew up the will?'
âBless my soul, no. Use your loaf, boy. Think.
Think.
The thing is done, Kitty is dead and buried, your beautiful filly has inherited. Nothing to be gained by bumping off young Askew. No, not on your Uncle Sam. That young blackguard was killed for his sins, and he committed 'em mostly in London or abroad, I'm told. Jealous husband, girl in the family way, that's the shape of things and you can bet your boots on it. Even the man Gravesend spotted that, which explains why he went scuttling back to town leaving it to a C.I.D. sergeant and the local lot to ferret out the answer. He likes quick results, does Mr Gravesend, and this is a waiting game.'
âThe guy is coming back this afternoon according to Throstle,' said Morty. âI forgot to tell you that.'
âIs he now? That rather looks like business.' Mrs Weatherby switched rapidly from the last lady of the Sparrows to string
man for the
Globe.
She made some mental calculations with the aid of an outsize wrist watch. âI'd better get that on the blower right away.' She stood up and pulled a handful of change from a pocket. âIt's just on opening time. Here, take my case and if the coast's clear in the dining room, we'll finish the natter there. Get me a Harry pinkersâa large one.'
She strode out of the room, her head forward and her shoulders swaying as she moved. Morty had the impression that she was carrying an invisible hockey stick. He gathered the briefcase and did as he had been bidden. Throstle and his aides had departed but it was still too early at the inn for normal business.
On her return the string man seemed pleased with herself. âSmall scoop there, I think. Now let's get down to brass tacks.'
She pulled up a chair, opened her briefcase, drew out a dog-eared photograph which had been folded unkindly in half and spread it out on the table, scooping side plates and cutlery out of her way to clear a space.
âYou won't have seen this, even if you've been to the Record Office,' she said, âbecause the original doesn't exist any longer. Belonged to our lot and was destroyed in the fire, forty years back. This is all that's left of a survey map of the Saltey area made in 1758 for Sir Thomas Sparrow. It's a Timothy Skynner and must have been quite a peach in its day, what? Take a good dekko at it and I'll show you what I'm getting at. Ten inches to the mile. I remember it as a girl hanging in the old man's library. About two foot by three when it was alive.'
Even in its tattered state the print was a delight to any researching mind. It revealed an extremely accurate piece of cartography, made decorative by an ornamental compass and a baroquely framed title. The lower left hand corner had been squared off to list âThe Parcels', the farms and the holdings of the time, given in acres, roods and perches, together with the tenants. Very little had changed it seemed in the course of two hundred and more years, except for the coastline where erosion had redrawn the outlines and a new sea wall had smoothed
away the more erratic indentations. To Morty the discovery was a treasure and he pored over it for several minutes in silence.
âThis is just great,' he said at last. âQuite new on me. I'll make a copy print, if you'll allow me. It fits into my thesis like a glove. May I borrow it for a couple of days?'
âHelp yourself,' said Mrs Weatherby heartily, âbut don't miss the real point of the whole caboodle.' She pointed a bony finger to emphasise her words. âAll this coastal area is Woodrose country and always has been, since the dawn of time. Every foot of access to the water in both directions. The Kytiesâthey were there already you seeâowned or rented anything that could be really farmed. Very few of them took to the sea. Jonah Woodrose's grandfather started moving inland in the 90s of the last century, but he kept as much of the saltings as he could. One or two names have changed and families have died out, but the principle's much the same today. Now a modern Ordnance Survey map shows only one way out of Saltey except by water. Correct? Well, look at this, young man, and you'll see that there are half a dozen, or used to be. Wide ditches, little private tracks, footpaths through coppicesâmost of them have gone, but two or three are left. The police, God bless 'em, think that by watching one corner they can keep tabs on who goes in and out of this place and they always did, or pretended to. They couldn't be more wrong. The area isn't a box, it's a sieve. Get what I'm driving at?'
âSmuggling, I'd say.'
âYou're bang on. Everything came through the Bowl and went on to London by the back lanes. Even up to the war you could bet your sweet life that half the families in this place dabbled in it, whatever else they worked at officially. And who do you suppose were the leading lights in the enterprise?'
âI could guess.'
Mrs Weatherby snorted. âI daresay you could. But I
know
, because I enjoy poking my nose into things. The answer is all your girl friend's correspondents, or their menfolk. Most of
them are past it now, but their ringleader still seems to be interested in keeping Saltey to itself. Damitall, I'll beat the truth out of Jonah if I swing for it.'
Morty took a gulp of his second gin: his companion had presented him with a mixture too strong for his taste and he grimaced involuntarily.
âYou know,' he said at last, âthere's one thing I don't understand. You're a kind of a local character and in a way I'd say you're being disloyal to your own people. Yet you're taking my side and I couldn't be more of a stranger. Hell, I'm grateful to you and your help is just the greatest but unless you're scouting around for a Sunday tabloid storyâand I want no part of that, ladyâI don't get your angle.'
Mrs Weatherby rose to her feet, looked towards and beyond the bar to make certain they were alone and returned to the table before she answered. Her voice was lowered.
âSmuggling,' she said. âhas a fine romantic ring about itâonce aboard the lugger, yo heave ho and all that kind of malarky. I've had a bottle or two myself I wouldn't care to explain about and my father's taste in brandy and cigars was always ahead of his income. No particular harm in that, so far as I can see. In the old days the gentry were inclined to regard it as a sport and we minded our own business if the others went in for it more professionally. That's why strangers aren't encouraged here, a fact you've already had your nose rubbed in. Bless my soul, boy, I'd no more think of running a story about that than I would of pinching the Crown Jewels. That's why I dislike those letters of yours, because they puzzle me and I hate mysteries.'
âHow so? I thought you'd just solved the whole problem, bar the shouting?'
His companion held her head on one side like a cogitating terrier.
âBecause they don't fit into the pattern,' she said at last. âDifferent as chalk from cheese. The more I think about it the less I like it. I haven't the slightest doubt that these naughty
old things have had a hand in it, but just why, I ask myself. Their day has been over for twenty years. They're all as old as God, apart from Jonah Woodrose and he doesn't fit the bill as a modern smuggler. He's an uncouth brute but he's doing very nicely thank you and he was never one to risk his neck. So somebody must be behind it all. Someone is still interested in keeping Saltey to itself.'