Carnal Secrets (2 page)

He knew it wasn’t fair to pry in her life if he wasn’t going to claim her, even if it was in an effort to protect her. In fact, her Beta pair—the only members of her pack, to Nick’s knowledge, who knew he and Shaya were mates—had quite rightly pointed this out. They had also warned him that if the Alpha pair found out, there was a good chance that a war between the packs would begin. But even that wasn’t enough to keep Nick away.

As Trey and Nick were close allies, the shifter guarding the perimeter gate didn’t flag them down; he simply gave them a respectful nod and let them pass through the gates of Phoenix Pack territory, which was disguised as a nature reserve. Nick’s wolf relaxed a little—content in the knowledge that he would soon see his mate.

Eli, Nick’s brother, drove the SUV to the mountain that was deep within the territory. Unlike most packs, including Nick’s own, the Phoenix wolves didn’t live in cabins. Instead, they lived inside the mountain—an ancient cave dwelling that had been modernized.

Once Eli had parked the SUV inside the concealed parking lot at the base of the mountain, Nick turned to him. “Stay here. Derren and I should only be fifteen minutes or so.” Nick was always careful not to bring too many wolves inside the caves. The Alpha, Trey, wasn’t the most stable of people, and his wolf easily felt threatened. As such, the arrival of three powerful, dominant wolves would instantly have him alert.

“Nick, maybe you—” Derren quickly cut himself off, sighing. “Never mind.”

Grateful he wasn’t going to have to listen to more of Derren’s shit, Nick exited the SUV. Both Eli and Derren knew that Shaya was his mate. Being someone who stayed out of other people’s business, Eli hadn’t said much about it—plus, he knew that pressing Nick on anything was an exercise in futility. Derren, however, had raised the matter plenty of times, badgering Nick to stop letting fear interfere with his decision to claim Shaya. It was getting real old.

With Derren close behind him, Nick climbed up the steps that had been carved into the face of the mountain until he finally came to the entrance. One of the enforcers, Marcus, was there, holding the door open. He didn’t look happy. That might not have given Nick cause to frown if it wasn’t for the fact that the tall, dark-haired wolf was usually cheery and flashing everyone a clown-wide smile. When Marcus didn’t even give him a nod of greeting, a feeling of disquiet came over Nick.

“Trey’s in the kitchen,” he said simply before gesturing with a tip of his head for Nick and Derren to follow him through the tunnels that would take them deeper into the mountain. After a series of turns, they eventually reached the very contemporary kitchen. Sitting at the long dining table were the other three enforcers, the Head Enforcer, the Beta pair, and the Alpha pair. Much like Marcus, they didn’t look happy to see him, particularly Taryn. And that could only mean one thing: they all knew the truth about Shaya being his mate. So either the Beta pair had finally told them, or Shaya herself had.

Well, it had only been a matter of time. Not one to play games, Nick didn’t bother with any pretense. Stopping in front of the table, he simply said, “So you know.”

“Oh, we know,” confirmed Taryn snappily. Her mate began kneading her nape, clearly trying to keep her from going for Nick’s throat. The blonde might be small and dainty, but she was powerful. And scary, for that matter. In fact, most of the shifter community feared her as her once latent wolf had overcome that suppression and surfaced.

“I suppose this is the part where you order me to stay away from Shaya.” If they thought they’d have any success with that, more fool them. Hell, he’d ordered himself to stay away from her, and not even that had worked.

“You owe her that,” gritted out Jaime; the Beta female was a close friend of Shaya’s. But that was his Shaya—she made friends easily, inspired loyalty and protectiveness in people, which was why the wolves in front of him were clearly fantasizing about killing him. He noticed that one of the enforcers looked particularly pissed with him.
Dominic
. Nick really did hate that wolf. Why? Because Dominic spent a lot of time with her—so much so that Nick had at one point suspected he was in a relationship with her.

Usually his wolf—who was prone to jealousy—would have most of his attention focused on the little prick, but not today. No, today his wolf was stressing over something and was annoyed with Nick for not realizing what his wolf had already sensed: Shaya’s scent was faint. Extremely faint, in fact. Unease tingled down Nick’s spine. “Where is she?”

“That’s not important,” stated Trey, his arctic-blue eyes drilling into Nick. “What’s important is that you listen carefully. We’re all very much aware that you and Shaya are mates and that you’ve both known it from the beginning. As it’s obvious that you don’t want to claim her, you are to butt out of her life and leave her alone. If you don’t butt out, well, you must want a war between our packs.”

The word “war” should have had him growling and on high alert, totally focused on Trey. But all Nick could think about was the fact that Shaya’s scent was far too faint—faint enough to suggest that she hadn’t been here for a while. “Where is she?”

Trey and his Beta male, Dante, exchanged looks that said they weren’t surprised that Nick was unconcerned about the warning.

“Her whereabouts are none of your business,” snarled Taryn. Tao, the Head Enforcer sitting beside her, nodded his agreement. Nick’s face hardened. His words were quiet but firm. “Shaya is, and will always be, my business.”

That had Taryn jumping to her feet. If Trey hadn’t twisted his hand in the back of her sweater, she’d have leaped over the table. “Yougoddamnmotherfuckingsonofabitch!”

“It’s okay, baby,” soothed Trey. One of the enforcers, Trick, went to her side and laid a supportive hand on her shoulder. It was only then that Nick noticed the tears swirling around her eyes. For Taryn to be so upset, Shaya hadn’t simply gone on vacation or to stay with her family in her old pack for a little while. She’d left for good.

“No, it’s not. My best friend has gone because of that rat bastard!”

Yep, that confirmed it. “Gone
where
?” demanded Nick, barely holding back a growl. His wolf began pacing inside him, clawing at him, wanting freedom, wanting to hunt down his mate—the only thing that really meant anything to him.

“Somewhere safe,” Jaime told him. “Somewhere where you can’t hurt her anymore.”

Nick took one step forward, and each of the Phoenix wolves tensed, prepared to spring. Yeah? Well he didn’t give a fuck. “You think I
want
to hurt her? You think it doesn’t eat at me that I can’t have her? You think I don’t constantly wonder where she is, what she’s doing, and if she’s safe?”

All of the faces softened, but Nick didn’t want their fucking sympathy. He wanted to know where his mate was. He zeroed in on Trey. “Tell me where she is.” When he didn’t answer, Nick placed his hands on the table and leaned forward, placing him eye to eye with the Alpha. All the Phoenix wolves growled low, but they didn’t attempt to interfere—that would imply that their Alpha couldn’t deal with his own shit. As it was, Trey was perfectly capable of fighting his own battles. But although Trey might be strong and powerful, so was Nick; he let the full extent of his dominance leak into his expression, communicating that he was just as powerful as Trey. In actuality, he was also as fucked up as Trey—he just hid it better.

The Alpha leaned forward, placing his face close to Nick’s, meeting his gaze full-on. “I have no interest in dueling with you, Nick—you fought alongside me to help protect my mate, my son, and my pack. That’s something I’ll always be thankful to you for. I once had people try to keep Taryn from me, and I reacted just as badly, so I can understand how you’re feeling to an extent. But if it’s a duel you want, you’ll get one.”

“If this was Taryn, if I knew where she was and I wouldn’t tell you, what would you do?”

Trey cocked his head. “That’s the thing—I never would have left her. I’m not the noble type. If you want to be self-sacrificing, fine, whatever—but you do it away from Shaya.”

Dante spoke then, crossing his arms over his muscular chest. “If we thought you wanted to know her whereabouts for the right reason, we’d tell you. But you don’t want to find her so you can claim her. It simply suits you to be able to interfere in her life. That’s not fair to her.”

Jaime laid a hand on Dante’s arm. “I know what it’s like to feel you have to resist mating with someone because you fear putting them in danger, Nick.” And she really did know. Her wolf had been so traumatized that Jaime had been at risk of losing her human half completely. If that had happened and she had turned rogue, she would have been killed. For that reason, she had resisted bonding with Dante, worried he wouldn’t survive the link being broken if she died. Luckily, bonding with Dante had instead helped her wolf heal.

Of course her reference to “danger” meant the danger of Shaya being an Alpha female—she didn’t know about Nick’s health issues, or she would most likely understand. But Nick wasn’t and never had been interested in other people’s perception of him, so he had no intention of explaining himself.

“I know it hurts,” continued Jaime, “but you should have claimed her and trusted that you’d be stronger together. Just because Shaya can’t be physically stronger than a dominant female doesn’t mean she can’t still defeat them. There’s more to combat than physical strength—take it from someone who was trained by the best.” She gestured at Dante. “I’ve kicked Popeye’s ass a number of times.” Dante scowled at her for that comment.

Nick sighed impatiently. “The dominant females wouldn’t even need to challenge her. All they’d have to do is hit her with their dominant vibes and she’d be automatically submitting whether she wanted to or not.” And Nick hated the idea of it. When an odd expression surfaced on Taryn’s face, he narrowed his eyes. “What?”

Taryn shook her head. Losing her scowl, she sighed. “Just leave her alone, Nick. She’s safe. I give you my word that if anything ever happens to her, if she’s ever hurt, I will contact you. But that’s the most you’re getting.”

While he appreciated that, it wasn’t enough. He’d been kidding himself if he thought simply being around Shaya from time to time would be enough. It was only now, as he was faced with the fact that she was gone from his life, that she would never be a part of it, that he might never see her again, that he realized he’d subconsciously nurtured a hope that he could find a way around their issues. He hadn’t truly given up on the matter, not deep inside, but the present situation was forcing him to do so, to give up
all
hope. And he found that he couldn’t.

Nick inhaled deeply, fighting to remain composed. But how could he? Dammit, it fucking hurt that she’d left like that. Not just because she was away from him, but because she’d so easily been able to run when he hadn’t had the strength to stay away. And he was angry too. Angry that she could leave him behind and start a life without him, and angry with himself for pushing her in that direction. Also, he was panicking. Not knowing where she was, if she was safe, if she was happy was a torment all on its own. Whatever Shaya or any of these wolves thought, he did want her to be happy. More than anything, he wanted to be the one to make her happy.

And with all that came the determination to find her.

But Dante was right: finding her simply to know where she was, to have peace of mind, wasn’t a good reason. The only chance Nick had of being in her life was to put right what he’d done, step down from Alpha, claim her, and take Derren’s and his mother’s advice and shove aside his fears rather than forsaking someone so important to him. That was exactly what he would do. If that meant the foundations of his pack began to crumble, so be it. Shaya was his; she was more important.

Of course it would be pointless to tell her pack that. They would never believe him—they would simply think he was feeding them shit so they would reveal her whereabouts. He’d have thought the same thing in their position.

Fine, he didn’t need them to tell him. Nick was a powerful Alpha, and he had many contacts, knew a great many Alphas all across the globe. There wasn’t one pack in the world in which she could hide where he wouldn’t find her. Pivoting on the spot, he began marching out of the kitchen.

“Nick?”

Halting, he glanced over his shoulder, meeting Taryn’s gaze.

“Let her be.”

“Not going to happen. If you want to end the alliance, start a war, you do that. But it won’t stop me from searching for her. Nothing will.” With that, he left.

Trey sighed at the sound of the main door slamming shut. They had hidden Shaya well, had taken her as far as South Carolina. Rather than settle her there, they had—cashing in a favor that another Alpha owed him—used a private jet to transfer her from there to Arizona. Their belief was that Nick would never think they would hide her in such a close location. Ryan, Trick, and Marcus had then created a false trail going from South Carolina to New York before allowing it to abruptly end.

They knew that Nick wouldn’t give up when finding no sign of her in New York and might backtrack, but they also knew that Nick wouldn’t be searching for a human with Shaya’s description—which was what she was posing as in Arizona. He would be searching all the shifter packs. Trey had been pretty confident that Nick didn’t have a hope in hell of locating her. But having seen the determination in Nick’s eyes, Trey wondered for the first time if their efforts had been enough. Not that he could blame the guy for his persistence in locating his mate. No one could keep Trey from Taryn, and God help anyone who ever again tried.

He glanced down at her, giving her an “I told you so” look. Taryn had insisted that although Nick might be pissed to hear that Shaya had gone, he wouldn’t bother taking the time to hunt her down.

She sighed at her mate’s expression. “Okay. You’re right. I’m wrong. You’re smart. I’m dumb. You’re tall. I’m…average height.” She arched a brow, daring him to call her tiny.

“Do we contact Shaya and tell her that he’s coming for her?” asked Tao.