Casimir's Journey (3 page)

“No. Proving that I am willing to believe even when circumstances suggest otherwise. Things are not always as they seem. There are things that prevented her from acting as she wished. I am certain of it.”

“Perhaps she merely wanted to be free of you and could find no other way out.”

“You are determined to see all of my choices as poor. I cannot change that,” Casimir said. “I knew that I was risking my life. I didn’t think I would lose it, but I knew the chance existed. I may have had more optimism than perhaps I ought to, but I was neither deluded nor misled. I made a choice, and I am asking for you to allow me to do so again. I also do not believe that Thea could have changed things. She did not want me to die. You will not twist that.” In spite of his planning to remain calm, he could not keep his anger hidden.

He was furious. He had readied himself to die in honor and with dignity. He didn’t want to die, but he had made an agreement. He had not fulfilled his portion of the agreement, and had accepted his fate. Now to be alive meant that he had no dignity, no honor! Catrin thought she had given him a gift, but without honor, how would he live? How would he hold his head up among other men? There would be no way to recover what she’d taken from him, even while she’d given him something precious.

If he could not live his life as Casimir, Crown Prince of Ethion and beloved of Thea of Gallivas, what did he have? No honor? No life as he’d planned? He looked at Catrin. He was thankful that her mind reading from earlier had faded.

But Catrin hadn’t answered him. She too appeared deep in thought. She tapped her finger against her lips and got up to pace back and forth at the foot of the bed. Casimir kept silent. He hoped she was actually considering his request. He noted that since he had begun to speak with her about this, he no longer felt overpowering fear.

“So you wish to be able to just run back to Thea and do this all over again?”

“I don’t know. I am not sure I could solve the mystery of the slippers, much as it pains me to say so.”

“That shows you can learn, even if you don’t care for the lesson. So what is it you want to bargain with, Prince Casimir?”

Casimir looked out the window. How could the sun be shining so brightly when the stakes for him had shifted so dramatically? He resisted the urge to pull the coverlet up over his shoulders. He didn’t want to expose any more weakness than she had already seen.

“Well?” She had her hands on her hips.

“Allow me, as I asked originally, to prove myself. Set forth a task for me, and once I achieve the goal, you will free me to return to my life.”

“You’re not a good risk, Casimir. You failed spectacularly at the one task you took on. However,” she held up a hand to stop him from interjecting, “You have given me reason to consider your request. If you should fail, you will never return to your life. Can you accept such a term?”

“At this point, some chance to get my life back is better than none.”

“There is that. Here are my terms. Because you do not appreciate the effort I have gone to in order to save your life, if you wish to have your life again, you must show me how badly you want it.”

“What does that mean?” His anger spilled over. He could feel his face reddening.

“It means that since you spurn the gift I have given you, you’re going to have to prove you deserve it. It means that perhaps I was wrong. You’re no different than Aland and his gaggle of daughters.” She turned, gazing out the window with her arms crossed. The room didn’t feel as friendly as before, in spite of the sunlight still streaming in. The heavy pieces of furniture looked menacing. With the sun behind her, so did Catrin.

“I assure you, I appreciate that you did not let me stay dead.” He stopped as she turned and snorted at him. “I do. I am not happy, I won’t lie. I don’t understand why you wish to restrict my life, however. I mean no disrespect, but I do not understand. Could you please explain to me what I’m missing?” Casimir struggled to keep the desperation from his tone. He could feel the tenor of the interview changing, and he could feel the fear returning.

“No. You are not a fool. This is not difficult. You are arrogant and spoiled, as are most princelings.” She still did not look at him, and spoke almost to herself. Casimir’s fear increased.

“No, I am not. Please tell me why you are denying me my future.”

“You have no right to question me. I will tell you what you must do. Only then will you gain the chance to return to your life, if you succeed.” She walked closer to the window. She turned her head to look at him, and he was taken aback to see her furtively wipe at her eyes. Was she crying? Why? Why would a man wanting to return to his life bring tears?

She turned to look at him fully. “You could stay here, Casimir. While I live simply, it is a good life. You would lead a good life.” There was a tone in her voice that he didn’t understand.

“Catrin, you are most generous, however I have obligations as the Prince of Ethion. Thea aside, I have responsibilities to my father and my kingdom.”

She smiled, sadly. “Markellus is good man, to be sure. He raised you to honor your responsibilities.”

The change in her demeanor was so unexpected he forgot about his concerns for a moment. “Do you know my father?”

Catrin’s gaze flew to him, and he thought she looked frightened for a moment. “No. How would a poor woman such as myself know the King of Ethion? I know of him, and by repute, he is a good man. Honorable.” She nodded. Casimir knew she was being dishonest, but set it aside.

“Then you will understand why I do not feel I have any other options,” he said quietly. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something had shifted in Catrin when he’d mentioned his father. “Please, Catrin. I want the chance to chart my own life.”

“None of us are completely free to choose our paths.”

“Not entirely, no,” he shook his head. “But my father was willing to allow me to choose my bride, and even in a way that I know he didn’t approve of, because I am my own man.”

She whirled and leaned against the window sill, arms crossed. She smiled, but it did nothing to put him at ease. “You will do whatever you are told, since you feel it acceptable to question and ignore those who have your best interests in mind. So now, you do exactly as I tell you, or you will have no chance at gaining what you want.”

He sighed. “I accept your terms. I will do as you say and in return I will get my life back.”

“If you succeed.”

“If I succeed. What am I to do?”

Catrin pushed off the sill, moving to the door. “For now, you will rest. You need some time to recover your strength. The past few days have been taxing, and I am feeling generous, in spite of your churlish behavior. You need all your faculties at your command, so take your rest.” She opened the door. “I shall return tomorrow, and we will discuss what you need to do.” The door shut firmly behind her, and Casimir heard the snick of the lock turning. She had locked him in. That frightened him even more than when he’d felt the stitches in his neck.

He leaned back on his pillow. He had initially thought Catrin a good woman who used her magic to help those truly in need. In conversing with her, he no longer felt that had been the motivation. There was something more at play here. Something sinister. His well-being was of no interest to her. He could tell, although with no definitive proof, that he was merely a means to an end. She used him to further whatever her goal was.

The thought scared him to death. He swung his legs out of bed and attempted to stand. His legs felt very weak and unsteady, and he leaned against the window to keep himself upright. After breathing heavily for a few moments, he tried the window. It was locked, and he could not see how to unbolt it. Next he tried the door, but it was indeed locked. The trek around his chamber exhausted him, and he braced himself against the door briefly. Breathing heavily, he struggled to get more air into his chest. His neck felt stiff and sore. He knew he needed to rest.

Finally, finally, he felt able to take a step back to the bed. Then he took another, and another, before stumbling forward and falling. He barely made it to the bed, and thanked his luck that he had not fallen short and cracked his head.              

He pulled himself up onto the bed fully and gave himself over to his desire to move no more. Spent, he lay unmoving. Before long, he fell asleep.

Casimir awoke suddenly, sitting up in a panic, hands scrabbling for a sword. He felt around the bedclothes frantically, stopping abruptly when a cackle broke the silence of the room.

“What do you seek, Princeling? Whatever it is, you will not find it there. Or anywhere close by, I should think.”

“Catrin. I didn’t know where I was initially.” He sat back, attempting to relax, or at least look that way.

“Clearly.” Her voice held amusement. Casimir felt she was laughing at him, rather than with him.

“Have you come to a decision on the task I must complete?”

“Tasks, my dear prince. One is not enough. One will not show your depth of conviction. No, there will be more than one task. You must do them one at a time.”

“Well of course I must do things one at a time. What are they?”

She laughed. Loudly. He thought she sounded as a cawing crow. “Let us start with your first task. Once you’re done, then we’ll talk about the next one.”

“Why can’t you speak plainly? Why must everything be vague? Tell me simply what I am to do, old woman!” He pounded on the bed.

She didn’t reply. He glared at her. He leaned back again, and did not speak. She would have to speak first.

“There is a chapel twenty leagues from here in the Kingdom of Ethion. It is in the middle of the Blanchewood Forest. Do you know of it?”

He nodded. He’d heard nothing good of the Blanchewood Forest. In addition to the tales told to scare children, bandits were said to reside there. It was not a place anyone went by choice.

“You will find the chapel. There is a knight who guards the door. He’s mad, you know. All because of that divine thing you call love.” She smiled evilly at him. “Well, regardless of my thoughts on the matter, this knight seems to feel that spending his life guarding the body of his love is a worthy task. You must get to this once fair maiden’s body and bring me the ring he gave her, along with the finger it still resides on.”

“What?” He gaped at her. Surely she didn’t expect him to go snatching at corpses?

“Yes. I need her betrothal ring and the finger it’s on.” She gazed at him calmly.

“Whatever could you need such a thing for? How can you ask me to desecrate a corpse or disturb a man who has devoted his life to the memory of his one true love? Are you mad?”

“Not at all. I need the finger bone and the ring. It’s simple. You wish to gain something from me, so I must receive something in return. I am telling you what I need. You are free to decline the transaction.” She looked out the window in apparent unconcern.

Casimir’s mind reeled. He’d heard of the chapel. The tales his nurse used to tell him had the knight swinging an axe madly at anyone who dared to enter the chapel. He guarded the long gone betrothed in the nave where they were to have wed. Her death, so the tales went, had driven him mad.

“My nurse used to tell me that tale as a child. You believe such nursery drivel to be true?”

“He is there. He was not an old man when he shut himself and his lady off from the world. He was young, as you yourself are. Plenty of time to live on to become a nursery tale.”

“How am I to get there? I have no clothes, no provisions, no horse.”

“I am not cruel, Princeling. I shall clothe you and seat you. You shall have all the provisions you require.”             

“You must disguise me as well.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Everyone thinks I am dead. I cannot traipse through my own nation, alive and well. Someone might see me, and I would not be able to complete the task.”

“I thought you wanted to return to your life, Prince Casimir.” He could tell she was mocking him.

“I do. But according to you, I must honor an obligation to you first. I will be better served if I am not recognized as the prince of the realm.”

“You will have to figure that out on your own. It is none of my affair. I am being generous enough as it is.” She turned to the window, ignoring him again.

“Very well. I shall sort it out on my own.”

“Provide me with a list of all that you will need, and I will have it ready for you when you’re able to travel...say a week from now?” Without awaiting his response, she moved to the door, her feet seemingly not moving beneath her gown. Casimir wondered how such an evil woman could move with such grace, and he hated to admit it, beauty.              

He nodded, as he couldn’t trust himself to speak. He was so angry with her, he was afraid he might say something that would have him suffering even more greatly.

She smiled. He felt she could see right through his forced calm.

“Should you require further supplies ring the bell. Someone will attend you.” She left, closing the door softly behind her.

Casimir let out a breath. How was he going to disguise himself in Ethion? Everyone there knew him. His face had been plastered all over villages from the time he was born. While she didn’t name it as such, this was his first task.

He struggled to remember his lessons in plants and herbs. There had to be something that would disguise his face. Suddenly, he thought back to his father’s marshal. He’d been speaking on the importance of being able to move undetected in a hostile environment. What was it he’d said?

Casimir thought so hard he was sure he was sweating. When he touched his brow, however, it felt cool and dry. He took a deep breath. This was a sure sign that he moved toward panic, and panic solved nothing. He took a few more deep breaths, hoping to stave off fear and the inevitable poor decision that followed.

The marshal had spoken at length on moving undetected. The key, he’d said, was to be forgettable. Casimir needed to make himself look like a cotter, a villager, just another face in the crowd.

He’d need to be sunburned. A cotter would spend a great deal of time in the field, and the effects of that would show on his face. So, something to darken his skin? Walnut juice, perhaps? He would need to look and smell as though he had not bathed in quite some time. Someone working in the field all day would not be able to spend much time on grooming.

Worn, but cared for clothing. One thing he’d noted when he’d gone to the villages with his father in his youth was that those who did not have many items of clothing cared for what they had.

The filth was another story. While his parents were rather enlightened, as were most of the courts of the neighboring countries, the idea of bathing on a regular schedule had not made it to most of their people. Some of the elders even loudly decried frequent bathing as the devil’s work. So, he would need to fit in and be unwashed.

He sighed. He didn’t like being ungroomed, but there was no way around it. Be forgettable. Which meant one had to look—and smell—like everyone else. No better and no worse. Beggars were often forcibly removed from villages, so he would have to be careful not to appear too ragged.

Better to appear as a simple cotter, one who was merely traveling. He’d have to come up with a reason for the travel, as well. Most regions in Ethion had their own dialects which were not so unique that travelers could not understand one another, but different enough that your speech marked where you were from.

Casimir and his brothers had been schooled in all of the dialects and could converse easily with anyone from their kingdom, but sounding like he’d come from one particular place? His father and tutors had worked hard to see that he and his brothers had no specific accent.

Which, upon reflection, felt rather sad. He pushed the thought away and returned to the task at hand. He’d have to decide what his tale would be. Everywhere he went, he would need to have a story, a reason for travel, and a place he came from. Otherwise, those around him would close ranks, perhaps even see him as a threat.

Such a thing would get the guard called, and Casimir hauled off to the palace.

Wait! Wouldn’t that be a good thing? If he were taken to the king, he could just explain his situation, and this would be over.

He nodded to himself. That is what he would do. Get himself deeper into Ethion, move several villages in, to ensure that Catrin would not hear of his actions. Well, hopefully not right away. He did not discount the speed with which gossip traveled.

Then he would declare himself the prince which, given his poor state of presentation, would result in great disbelief. He would insist on being taken to the king. While skeptical, the local guard had no choice. They would take him to the king. He would explain all, and this would be done in a trice.

No need to go to the chapel, risk his life with the mad knight, nothing. He would go back to Gallivas, and puzzle out the mystery. Perhaps his father might let him speak with the court astrologer, see if there were any signs or portents that would be of assistance.

Lost in such thoughts, he could feel the gloom from the past day beginning to dispel. Catrin might think she held the upper hand, but he knew that he did. Let her think what she wanted to think and say what she wanted to say.

In the end, he would be free, and she and her desire for a moldy bone could go hang. He would go to Thea, and they would live the life they were meant to live. He smiled. His father would be proud. No Crown Prince of Ethion would be captured and cajoled by the whims of a mad woman.

He begin to put together the list of items he would need. When he rang the bell later, it was not Catrin who answered. A small girl came in, and bobbed a curtsy.

“Am I to give you my list?” He asked. He’d meant to be rather imperious in speaking to her, but she was tiny, and he didn’t feel right lording over such a petite girl.

She nodded, still not speaking.

He told her the herbals he wanted. She nodded several times, and then scurried out the door. He hoped she would remember.