Catch a Tiger by the Tail (20 page)

“My mom cried the night he was killed.” He wiped at his cheeks before meeting the doctor’s gaze. “She was happy. No more lying about how she’d broken her arm or where her black eye had come from. No more locking me in the bathroom to keep my father from making me bleed. Life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows for me and my mom, but we had each other. We loved each other and looked out for each other. We were happy. I’m not angry because my father abandoned me, doctor. I’m angry because he had a choice. He had a choice not to be a piece-of-shit husband and sorry excuse for a Human. He had a choice not to beat his wife and kid. He had a choice not to put someone else’s life at risk, same as Fernando Ruiz. They chose wrong and were forced to face the consequences of their actions.” Calvin sat back, exhausted. At least he’d calmed down. “They both made their choice and left their families to pick up the pieces, so yeah, I guess you’re right. There’s always a choice. It’s up to us which one we make.”

ETHAN CLEANED
up his and Calvin’s desks, getting rid of the empty plates and food containers. When they’d been filled, the office had looked like some kind of lunch buffet. He’d called Dex and asked if he could bring him a burger and fries from the canteen since he’d be staying in his office. He couldn’t handle going into the canteen without Calvin. At that time of day, the place would have been packed, and the thought of all those people made him feel queasy. Dex said he’d take care of it, and next thing Ethan knew, the whole team was in his office with enough food to open a burger business. How Dex knew he needed the distraction was beyond him, but it had been fun. Now it was time to go home. He’d finished his top-priority reports and checked up on his order for the new Packbot and X-Ray kits.

Once the office was clean, he’d showered and changed in the locker room before heading down to the employee garage. Calvin would take a taxi home sometime in the middle of the night. Ethan had no idea where Calvin went on nights like this. Tonight Ethan would be up listening for the sounds of Calvin’s arrival. His evenings would be rather lonely for the next few days, but whatever Calvin needed Ethan would provide. Things would be a little quiet on the team, but Dex would keep everyone’s spirits up. Calvin didn’t want anyone acting any different around him, and the rest of them needed to be distracted.

Once he got home, Ethan made himself a sandwich. He made another for Calvin and left it in the fridge like he always did. Calvin never ate it, but if his partner did wander out, Ethan wanted to make sure there was something already prepared for him to eat. After eating and washing up, Ethan watched a little TV, though his mind kept wandering off. It was far earlier than usual, but he decided to get into bed. He brushed his teeth and changed into his loose pajama bottoms and T-shirt before turning off the lights and climbing into bed. He faced the wall. Calvin’s bedroom was on the other side. Today must have been rougher on him than he thought, because he’d about fallen asleep, when he heard his bedroom door creak open, then close. He didn’t get up or move, afraid of spooking Calvin. His partner had never come to him before. He had a bad habit of suffering in silence, holing himself up in the darkness to lick his wounds, hissing and lashing out like a feral Therian. His little wildcat, untamable yet sweet and unpredictable.

Calvin climbed into bed beside Ethan and rolled him over onto his back. His eyes were red, and filled with need, a need only Ethan could fill. Ethan sat up, and Calvin brought their lips together in an ardent kiss, his hands going to Ethan’s T-shirt. He scrambled to get Ethan undressed without having to pull back, and Ethan helped him, their lips parting only long enough for them to get undressed. Calvin straddled Ethan’s lap, his fingernails scraping down Ethan’s biceps as he sucked Ethan’s bottom lip before giving it a nip.

“Ethan….”

Calvin’s broken plea squeezed at Ethan’s heart. Ethan reached into the nightstand, his mouth still on Calvin’s, kissing him, answering his desperation as he rummaged in the drawer and grabbed the bottle of lube. He handed it to Calvin, who poured some on his hand and lubed Ethan up, his strokes making Ethan moan and writhe beneath him. It felt so damn good, but this wasn’t about him. It was about Calvin, about what his partner needed to soothe his bleeding heart. Calvin reached behind him and spent as little time as possible stretching himself. Ethan didn’t have time to voice his concern before Calvin was pushing Ethan’s cock inside him, the pain evident on his face, and the cry he let out when he impaled himself the rest of the way echoed Ethan’s own.

Calvin faltered for a moment, his eyes glassy, but he quickly recovered. He smiled at Ethan and kissed him, bringing Ethan’s arms around him. Ethan held on tight as Calvin started to move. He threw his head back, his eyes closed and his fingers digging into Ethan’s shoulders. Their unsteady breaths mingled as Calvin picked up his pace, driving Ethan deep inside him faster and harder. Knowing what his partner needed, Ethan took hold of Calvin’s hips and met his movements with his own thrusts, pushing himself up as he forced Calvin down. Calvin let out a surprised gasp. He took hold of his erection and pumped his fist as he bounced on Ethan, his skin flushed.

“Ethan, please….”

“I’ve got you,” Ethan promised. “Always.”

Calvin threw his arms around Ethan’s neck and hugged him close, his fingers slipping into Ethan’s hair. “Don’t let me go. Never let me go.”

“Never.” Ethan shut his eyes tight as he fucked Calvin, his thrusts growing erratic as his orgasm loomed. He would have liked to take his time, but that wasn’t what Calvin wanted. He slipped a hand between them and took hold of Calvin’s cock, stroking him as best he could. Ethan’s muscles tightened, and he buried his face in Calvin’s hair as he came, his boyfriend coming shortly after. Ethan slowed his thrusts along with his hand, stopping when Calvin hissed at the touch. They remained in each other’s arms until Ethan’s legs began to ache. With Calvin held to him, he turned and lay down, their limbs intertwined. He brushed his lips over Calvin’s kiss-swollen mouth before delivering a soft kiss to Calvin’s wet cheeks, first the right, then the left.

“Thank you,” Ethan said quietly, “for coming to me.” He was well aware it wasn’t just today’s events that had Calvin feeling so vulnerable. The last few months had been emotionally and physically trying for the both of them, and Calvin was finally letting it all go, but there was something else too. Despite his heartache, he seemed… lighter. “Why do you do that?” Ethan asked gently. “Why do you hold it all in until you’re ready to burst? Suffering in silence? Growing up, you always wiped my tears, yet you never let me do the same for you. Not until tonight.”

“I didn’t have any tears to cry, Ethan.” Calvin lowered his gaze, his thick blond lashes almost resting on his cheeks. “I couldn’t let myself.”

The words formed a lump in Ethan’s throat. “Because of me?”

“And Mom.” Calvin shrugged. He met Ethan’s eyes. “I had to protect you both. You were all that mattered to me. Everything was so shitty back then, except you and Mom. You’re the reason I never stopped fighting to get out of that place.”

Ethan swallowed hard and nodded. He kissed Calvin tenderly, loving the feel of him, his softness. So much courage in such a small package. They lay down together, and Calvin cuddled up close. Within seconds, Calvin was asleep. Ethan stayed up watching him, enjoying having him here in his arms. Of course, that didn’t last too long because Calvin moved around a lot. Ethan smiled at Calvin’s sprawled position as he slept. How could a Human of Calvin’s size take up so much space? For the first time in a long time, Ethan was still awake while his boyfriend slept.

Usually Calvin would be the last to fall asleep, an old habit from when they were kids. With Calvin’s mom working late most nights, Calvin would sleep over at Ethan’s. It had worked out for both their families. Calvin’s mom was less frantic about leaving him on his own in the evening, and Ethan’s mom was happy that Ethan had a friend like Calvin to look after him. Ethan stroked Calvin’s hair, running his fingers this way and that. It was getting a little long. When they were kids, Calvin always had it cropped short with a little spike on top, but in his teens he suddenly decided to grow it longer. There had been a time when he refused to be seen without a baseball cap, saying his hair looked gross. It had always looked cute to Ethan. Now it was still trim, but not as short as it once was.

Ethan frowned at the small, subtle bump he felt on the back of Calvin’s head toward the top where his hair was longest. That was odd. It was raised skin. Like a scar. Ethan moved his finger, only to discover a similar one beside it and then another. Calvin had never told him about any scars. Ethan carefully parted Calvin’s hair, stunned to find the jagged-edged white scars formed shapes.

Oh my God.

Ethan’s blood ran cold. They weren’t just scars. They were scars shaped into distinctive letters. FPT.

Ethan’s tiger Therian classification.

Ethan jumped out of bed and paced the floor.
That can’t be right.
Why did Calvin have scars in the form of his classification on the back of his head? How had they gotten there? Ethan felt sick to his stomach. How could Calvin keep something like this from him? The scars weren’t placed there on purpose. They were too jagged.

“Ethan?” Calvin’s sleepy murmur stopped him in his tracks, and he backed away from the bed as Calvin sat up. “What’s wrong?”

Ethan ran a hand through his hair, his throat closing, choking him. He opened his mouth, but only a strangled cry came out.
Oh God, please don’t let it be what I think it is.

“Ethan, please talk to me.” Calvin sat up, but he didn’t approach Ethan. As much as Ethan wanted to shout and scream and demand to know what happened, he couldn’t. His body refused to cooperate. He tapped the back of his head repeatedly before pointing to Calvin. His boyfriend’s wide eyes told him he knew exactly what Ethan was referring to. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to upset you.”

Ethan shook his head. He didn’t want to believe it.
Please, tell me it’s not my fault. Please. Please tell me someone didn’t do that to you.

Calvin drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “It was after the Halloween dance. Remember when I was supposed to bring you back candy, but I called and said I slipped on some eggs in the courtyard and was going to the nurse’s office?”

Ethan nodded. He remembered it like it was yesterday. He’d been so worried about Calvin that night when he hadn’t heard from him. Ethan was the only kid on their block who never went trick-or-treating. It was the worst holiday in the world for Ethan, terrifying on so many levels. He hadn’t wanted to stop Calvin from having fun, but Calvin refused to go without him, saying he’d rather stay in with Ethan. So they reached an agreement. Calvin would spend a few hours trick-or-treating and bring back candy for the both of them while Ethan put together a little party in his room with snacks and their favorite movies. Then they’d eat candy until they felt sick and fell asleep way past their bedtime.

“I was on my way home, and some of the seniors followed me. I thought they were going to talk shit and push me around, maybe take my candy. They said some fucked-up shit about you, and I got pissed. Punched their leader in the mouth. They ganged up on me, pushed me to the floor, and held me down. One of them had a switchblade. He said if I loved Therians so much, I should be marked like them. He carved the tiger Therian classification into the back of my head, said now I could be like my boyfriend. I knew you were waiting for me, and I didn’t want to scare you. Mom was working, so I walked to the police station and asked for help. I made Mom promise me she wouldn’t tell you.”

Oh God.
Ethan felt his chest tightening. His breath was coming out ragged. He was having trouble breathing. Someone did that? How…? Ethan shook his head. He needed to leave. A wave of dizziness hit him, but he pushed through it. He left the room and ran down the hall to the front door, where he put on his sneakers and jacket. He turned to Calvin, who stood in one of Ethan’s T-shirts, clearly the first thing he’d grabbed. Ethan’s heart splintered.

“I understand,” Calvin said with a shaky smile. “Just be safe. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Ethan nodded. He ran out the door and outside, not bothering with his car. Where he was going wasn’t far. He took off running, the cold air against his face helping him remain composed as he ran three blocks, then rounded the corner before running another two blocks until he reached Seb’s house. He ran up the stairs and pounded on the door. His keys to Seb’s place were on his key ring somewhere, but his hands were too shaky to hold anything.

Seb opened the door, and Ethan threw his arms around his big brother, holding on tight. He didn’t know what else to do.
How could this be happening?
Seb held him close, running a soothing hand over his back like he did when they were kids. When Ethan could breathe again he pulled back, stepping inside so Seb could close the door.

“Talk to me. What’s happened? Did you get into a fight with Cal? I thought things were good between you.”

Ethan walked into the living room and dropped down onto the couch, unsure of where to start.

“It’s okay, little brother, breathe.” Seb took a seat beside him, breathing deeply in and out so Ethan would follow along. “That’s it. Breathe. Good. I’m right here with you. Take your time.”

Ethan opened his mouth, but he got choked up. He let out a frustrated grunt, and Seb put his hand on Ethan’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. There’s no rush. It’s you and me here.”

Ethan nodded. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Cal, he got hurt because of me.”

“When? Is he okay?”

Ethan shook his head. “It was a long time ago. One Halloween. Remember the one where he didn’t come over because he slipped on the eggs?”

“I remember. We watched movies all night. You were really worried about him. But that wasn’t your fault.”

“He never slipped on any eggs,” Ethan replied, his anger rising. He jumped to his feet, his whole body practically vibrating with anger. “He got jumped. Some asshole seniors jumped him. They held him down.” Ethan shook his head and shut his eyes. He didn’t want to picture it. Didn’t want to hear Calvin’s screams in his head as they mutilated him. Ethan smacked his hands against his ears to make it stop. He was having trouble breathing again.