Catch My Fall (14 page)

Stellan approached and spoke quietly. “You look better. You good?”

I nodded. He smiled and handed me a pair of boxing gloves. Candyce had on the mitts, so I turned to her. This looked like it might be fun.

Stellan tugged me aside. “Alright, Candyce, I’m gonna put you with Daniel.”

Daniel came by in his usual sweet manner and led her off to another section of the room. I felt something padded nudge me in the side and turned to find Stellan with mitts on his own hands.

“I thought you wanted me to keep her company?”

He smiled. “I did. And you did, and I owe you dinner for that.”

“Well, I’m not actually doing anything, am I?”

He held his hands up in front of me and took his stance, gesturing for me to do the same. I obliged, glaring at him.

“You’ve been a greater help than you know.”

“And yet, now she’s off with Daniel. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t he belong to the ‘sausage party?’”

Stellan smiled and ordered me to hit his left mitt with a right cross. I did.

“That’s the whole point. Now that she’s here, she can get comfortable with the guys so she won’t be afraid to come back. Who better than Daniel to show her that they’re all a bunch of harmless dweebs?”

I laughed and hit the mitt for the tenth time. He switched to his left and demanded ten back fists.

“You call your students dweebs? How kind of you.”

“Hey, I’m the king of the dweebs. I can say what I want. Come on, you can do better than that.”

He held both mitts out now. I was winded, but I was enjoying myself and my head was still attached. When I finished the tenth combination, he ordered me to switch legs and we started over on the other side. I caught him watching me in the midst of my punches, and I knew he was making sure my head wasn’t floating away. Embarrassment aside, his concern felt comforting. Despite my state, he didn’t make me feel weak. Well, except when he called me a pansy for not hitting harder.

I growled at him. “You suck!”

“Breathe out when you strike. Burst of air – pow! There you go!”

He set up both mitts for the combination again, and I punched through and swung back with a nice rhythm. It was satisfying, and almost relaxing to be pounding the shit out of something. I forgot to worry about the fact that I might look like a glistening pig being hosed down in the sun and just punched away, determined to hit hard enough to appease him. I breathed out on the last back hand, and nailed the mitt. His eyes went wide.

“Hell yeah! Watch out for Faye’s south paw,” he announced to the class. I felt my face flush. He ordered everyone to trade off mitts and gloves and returned his attention to me. When Stellan struck my mitted hand, there was no question he was holding back.

“And you were calling
me
a weakling?”

He smiled. “Never called you a weakling, babe.”

“Well, I’m calling
you
one.”

“It’s true.”

I scoffed as he tapped the back of his fist. I felt a little insulted, as though he didn’t think me strong enough to withstand him. It must have been apparent on my face.

“I never hit full strength in class, F-Bomb.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged. “Maintain some mystery, I suppose.”

He bobbed his eyebrows at me.

I shook my head. “No, you’re just afraid you’ll hurt me.”

He stopped punching my mitts and cocked his head to the side. It was the ‘Are you serious?’ look he gave me whenever he thought I was being ridiculous. “Does that offend you; that I don’t want to hurt you?”

“Yes, actually.”

He rolled his eyes before hollering to the class to add another ten set to the last combination. “You want me to actually hit you? Want me to rough you up a little, is that how you like it?”

I squirmed. Damn it, Stellan. Stop finding a way to make everything sexual! “No!”

He settled back into his stance and gestured for me to do the same. “Alright, I’ll hit a little harder on the last one? Will that appease you, Warrior Princess?”

“Fuck you. And yes, it will.”

He smiled.

He hit with ten lackluster left crosses, then his backhands. I held my hand at the ready, returning it quickly after each hit, growing annoyed with the weak impact. He counted them out – 5, 4, 3, 2… and then that last one hit.

Oh my god, I should learn to shut my damn mouth.

I pulled the mitt off quickly and rubbed my hand. He moved toward me, grabbing it as well. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright, I’m fine.”

My hand was burning and limp. I shook it out beside me, hoping the searing pins and needles would stop. He snatched my hand in his and began massaging his thumbs into my palm. I felt a surge of excitement at his touch. I snatched my hand away. He reached for me again, but I held my hurting hand behind my back.

“I’m ok, Stell. Just never let me convince you to do that again.”

He forced a smile, but I could see he was upset with himself. He put an arm around me, rubbing the back of my neck for a moment. I tried not to look at him. He turned to the rest of the class.

I felt pathetic. I shouldn’t have let him see that it hurt. Still let’s be honest, it really freaking hurt. To make it even worse, I could tell he’d still been holding back.

He sent us off in small groups, staff weapons on the far wall, forms at the back of the class. Daniel pulled a big blue pad from the back room and began practicing a form that included a flip and roll. I couldn’t even comprehend that he would one day be performing such a thing without that pad to catch him. Damn Ninjas.

Stellan pulled Candyce and I to the front of the room and taught us our first form, then he left to help the advanced students. We lined up to start our third run through of the form when someone made an impressed whooping sound. I turned in time to catch Stellan doing the very flip and roll move that Daniel was attempting moments earlier. Stellan didn’t need the pad. He bounded to his feet, gave a couple kicks that were high enough to have easily decapitated Andre the Giant, God rest his soul, then clapped at Daniel in encouragement, sending him off to try again. He turned toward the front of the dojo and caught me staring. He called me a ‘looky-lou’ and said I owed him another ten forms. I grumbled only for Candyce to hear, and noticed she’d been with me in the gallery of slack jawed ‘looky-lous.’

“Oh, I’m definitely coming back,” she said, fanning herself. I laughed, and we lined up again.

A few moments before class ended, the phone rang in the office. Stellan hustled by, gesturing for me to follow.

I caught a few words of the conversation – David Callahan. Stellan nodded into the phone, before winking at me. I waited patiently as he finished up.

“Hell yeah, Brutha. Glad to hear it.”

David Callahan was Stellan’s Sensei and owner of Ninpo Dojo. He’d placed Stellan in charge of the school when he left to study at that fabled Ninja school in Japan. David would be one of the highest ranked Ninjitsu Sensei’s in the country when he returned – in a year. Stellan was content to lead the pack in his absence. The students seemed content as well.

Stellan hung up and handed me a set of keys.

“Tell Daniel to lock up the gear for me, will ya?”

I nodded and turned.

“Sensei?”

The young girl, Grace, was standing in the doorway.

Stellan raised his eyebrows at her. “What do you need, dear?”

I searched the girl’s face, something about the expression familiar. She wanted to say something, but her cheeks flushed instead.

“I was looking in the bathroom -” She started.

Stellan waited patiently, his eyes soft. She froze again, and it clicked. I knew the look.

I curled my arm around her shoulders and led her back toward the bathroom. Grace was probably around thirteen or so, and held her own in class to some of the older boys. As I led her down the hall, I was sure this wasn’t her first, but perhaps it was her first time being caught unawares. I silently thanked whatever God’s she might pray to that the Ninjutsu uniforms were black.

“Here ya go, honey,” I said, pulling a box of pads out from under the sink. She visibly relaxed, snatching the box from my hands. I pulled out a box of tampons and set them by the sink, as well.

You never know what a woman prefers. You should have both.

I remembered the conversation vividly – explaining to Stellan why he needed to stock just this very thing in the girl’s bathroom. He didn’t argue, but simply swooshed his hair to the side in the drug store and walked with a limp wrist up to the counter to purchase them. We looked ridiculous – huge mulleted man buying tampons with a lisp, and me laughing to the point of oxygen deprivation.

Despite the difficulty I had going into that CVS thereafter, this moment made it all worth it. I left and found Stellan still in the office. He raised an eyebrow, but I just waved him off. He knew not to press further. A moment later Grace ran back to class. The smile had returned to her face.

I stood talking to Candyce after class. Each of the guys stopped to speak to Stellan on their way out the door. They all had to look up to meet Stellan’s gaze, but you could see reverence in their eyes. Many of them had been in classes at this school since they were young and having the same trouble Stellan once had. They started out picked on kids with glasses and bad skin, and they’d grown into these well-mannered men who walked with a comfort, (I won’t say confidence, because not a one of them was cocky) that comes from knowing they could protect themselves if they needed to.

I’d heard a story years earlier about Daniel being attacked during high school – four kids decided to beat the shit out of him in front of their girlfriends for no better reason than lunch room boredom. Daniel put two of them in the hospital. As I recall, Stellan wasn’t the least bit pleased, and he hollered at him in front of class for using too much force. Still, no one bothered Daniel ever again.

Candyce waited until the rest of the class had filtered out, saying a quick thank you and goodbye to Daniel as he left. She followed Stellan into his office, and I waited patiently outside the door. I didn’t want to intrude on the conversation, but I could hear Candyce asking for a schedule and professing a desire to return. Stellan praised her for having kept up with the rest of class and said she was more than welcome. I felt a slight twinge of embarrassment, reminded of my own failings in the whole ‘keeping up’ department.

She met my gaze as she left the office. “Will you be coming Tuesday nights?”

I floundered a moment, unsure whether I should lie, or if Stellan would be requesting my presence. He stepped out from the office behind her and nodded at me, vehemently.

Guess I could tell Jackie I joined a gym.

“I should be,” I said, and Candyce smiled. She grabbed her coat, waved to the two of us, and she was gone. Stellan and I stood there alone a moment. I didn’t speak.

Stellan crossed the room toward me and put his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. I felt his chin rest on the top of my head a moment and tried not to stifle at the close contact. Despite the complete sweaty disgusting mess I was, he still smelled of soap and laundry detergent.

“You’re the best, F-bomb,” he said and released me. I couldn’t make eye contact. Illogical as it may sound, I was sure if ever anyone were to magically sprout telepathic powers it would be Stellan, and it would be right now.

“I try,” I managed to say.

“Well, I owe you dinner.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes I do,” he said and made this almost disgusted face, as if to say, ‘what sort of Neanderthal birthed you?’

I shrugged. “I’m kinda disgusting.”

“Only kinda?” He braced himself for an attack, but I didn’t hit him. Despite not looking at his face, I could tell he was a little disappointed. “Alright, let’s get changed. We can order Chinese at your place, yeah?”

Damn, that sounded good. I nodded and collected myself, wandering down the hallway into the women’s changing room. He followed, disappearing into the men’s. I stood inside the little room, looking up at the wall that separated the two dressing rooms. The wall didn’t reach all the way to the ceiling, leaving an open space near the ceiling. Had Stellan the desire, I was sure he could jump up and look over. I stared at the break, listening. I could hear him undressing, hear clothes dropping to the floor, hear his belt as he pulled on his jeans. I imagined the way he must look, imagined standing this close to him as he dressed, but without a wall between us, imagined him letting me see, wanting me to see.

Standing there, I felt further away from him than I ever had before.

“You all set, babe?”

The sound of his voice startled me. I’d made no moves to change whatsoever, and he was done. I tried to kick off my uniform, untying the waist band and dropping the pants as I tugged the shirt up over my head. The combination of movement threw me off balance, and I toppled onto the bench, bare-assed.
What the fuck are you doing, Faye?

“You alright in there, dove?”

I grumbled back at him. “Yes, I’m fine.”

He said he had something to show me and would collect it from his house before heading over. He promised to give me enough time to shower when I got home.

“For the good of mankind,” he said.

I was grateful to have the moment to myself. Perhaps I could get that nagging sense of wanting out of my head. I showered, wishing as I sometimes did, that my own private bathroom shower worked. I thought about calling a plumber when I started working again and shell out the cash to have it repaired. I quickly corrected myself.

When you start working again, you won’t live here.

I heard movement downstairs and hustled out of the warm cocoon I’d created. I returned to my bedroom in just a towel and fought the thoughts of him miraculously deciding to come upstairs for some unimaginable reason just as I accidentally dropped my towel, displaying my gelatinous womanly wiles for his prying eyes – no, damn it, this is my imagination and in my imagination I’m a hard bodied Victoria’s Secret model, and he can’t help but take me in his arms and make passionate love to me until the end of our days. Of course, what actually happened was I went into my bedroom, fell over trying to pull my yoga pants on, and Stellan called up to ask if I was okay. Indeed I was, though my yoga pants were somewhat ruffled.