Catching to Win (Over the Fence #3) (13 page)

I bit back a sob and tried to keep my face composed. “I always liked you! No matter what you looked like!”

“But you only started sleeping with me when I had this body, right?” He turned to me then.

“I…I’m sorry. Do you want me to admit I’m a shallow, disgusting person? I’ll gladly do that. I’ve never been anything but that, Clint. You should know that. I know we’ve been hooking up for a while, but I haven’t changed.”

That was a lie, but I needed him to want out. I had to break myself off from him now, or soon it would be too late.

“Come on, Kelsey. We haven’t just been hooking up. We’re practically dating! Neither of us has even looked at another person since we started having sex. We eat meals together, we talk on the phone. We fucking live together. That’s a relationship! You can’t deny it.”

“Actually I can. Because I told you from the start, I don’t do boyfriends. This was a friends with benefits situation only. If anyone was lying to you, it was yourself. You wanted to make this into something it wasn’t, I never led you there.”

That was such a lie, and I knew it.

“Don’t do this, Roo. We have come so far from where we were. And I know you feel it too.” He grasped my hands now. “I know this scares you, but we can take it as slow as you want. We can go back to no sex, and see where it goes. Just don’t let yourself cop out on this one. We could be great together. We already are.”

Those aquamarines plead with me. A small sliver of me wanted to say yes, to try and be with him for real. But I couldn’t do it. I’d already caused him pain he didn’t even realize yet, and if I kept doing this, I would only cause him more. Parker was right.

“I can’t. It’s just not me. I’m not built for love, Clint, and I never lied to you about that. We need to stop this, find other people to hang out with. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I have, and I just don’t feel the same way.”

The look on his face cut me deep. His beautiful, sharp angled features were drawn in sorrow. His built, masculine form wilted like a dried up flower. It was like a blunt knife being stuck into my gut over and over again.

Even so, I managed to get up off the couch and walk out, leaving him.

A
nd we’re back
to where we were on the first night of the summer all over again, when Kelsey was drunk as a skunk and sucking face with some loser.

Okay so this time she doesn’t have her tongue stuck down a guy’s throat, and she’s only on her second beer, but I still want to throttle the guy she’s making flirty eyes at in the corner of Sammy’s.

Hook up with someone new. That’s what she’d thrown at me three days ago. I didn’t know if this was a test, if she was really breaking whatever this thing was off, or what was going on. All I knew was that I didn’t notice any other girl in the bar except for her, and that I was going to punch this tall hipster in the throat if he made any more effort to subtly graze her arm.

I ordered another shot of Jack, thinking that if I could just get drunk enough, I might have the guts to go over there and start something.

“Slow down, killer.” Parker smiled his shit-eating grin from the stool next to me.

“Fuck off.” I still wasn’t fully talking to him. I couldn’t believe he’d said something to Kelsey. In Parker’s messed up brain, he was only trying to be a friend, but in reality, he’d fucked everything up.

“Come on, bro. You have to let this go sometime. Look at her, anyway. She didn’t waste one minute finding her new Mr. Right Now.”

“That’s because you scared her off! Instead of slowly trying to coax her into a relationship, like I was doing, if you’d ever bothered to ask, you sent her fleeing like a scared gazelle.”

He shrugged. “A leopard don’t change its spots, buddy. Lie to yourself all you want, but that one is not relationship material.”

He pointed at Kelsey, who was shimmying in her short grey t-shirt dress. I think I bared my teeth.

“If she can do it, so can you. See that brunette over there? She’s been eyeing you all night. Best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else. Go get ‘em, tiger.”

Parker slapped me on the shoulder and shoved me in the brunette’s direction.

She wasn’t bad looking, but she was just typical. She was a pretty girl, nothing unique or striking about her. She wasn’t Kelsey.

And speak of the devil, out of the corner of my eye I saw Roo notice my movement toward the other girl. Was I scorned enough to make her jealous? Absolutely.

I walked up to the brunette, who immediately began thrusting out her chest and batting her eyelashes. It was all so obvious, and when I asked her to dance and took her elbow to lead us to the floor, she molded herself into my body.

Feeling Kelsey’s eyes on me, I put my all into the act. I grabbed the girl’s hips, leaned into her neck and even ran my hands up and down her thighs. After two songs, I felt someone smack me on my back.

Kelsey eyed me with narrowed slits. I kept my position, feeling glee that I’d actually forced her to come over here.

“Yes?” I said this with a cocky-ass smile on my face.

“I need to talk to you.” She crossed her arms over her perky chest.

“I’m busy with a new friend here.” I motioned to the brunette, who waved like an idiot at Kelsey.

Suddenly I was being pulled out of the bar by my ear.

“OW! Fuck!” She was squeezing it so tight, I wouldn’t be surprised if I had hearing damage after this.

When we made it to the sidewalk, she finally let go.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I shout at her, walking down the street away from her and rubbing at me bruised ear.

“Want to explain what you’re doing chatting up that basic bitch in there?”

So I did make her jealous! I laugh at the irony of what’s going on right now. “If I heard you correctly, you told me to hook up with someone else. Isn’t that right?”

I couldn’t resist throwing her words back in her face. My anger was quickly tainting everything I was thinking.

“Well…I did! But not with some plain looking brunette! Come on, you can do better than that!”

“Oh, like the definition of a pussy hipster who keeps trying to leer at your tits?”

Kelsey scowls at me. “Why did you even have to come to Sammy’s tonight? We need to make a schedule or something so we aren’t here at the same time!”

We are both yelling at each other in the middle of the crowded downtown street. Other graduated seniors and summer-course students stop to stare at us before drunkly laugh and keep walking.

I grab her arm and pull her towards the other side of the street to the parking lot behind the building. I’m not stepping anywhere near that goddamn alley.

“What is this really about, Kels?”

“It’s about you trying to hook up with some basic bit—“

“No it’s not. This is about you having feelings for me and trying to deny it. This is about you being jealous of me putting my hands on another girl. This is about the fact that you never should have tried to end what we had.”

“That’s not it at all—“

I wasn’t letting her get away this time. I was going to make her be with me whether she liked it or not. “Friends don’t lie to each other, right? Especially us.”

I gave her the wisest “I know you” stare that I could, trying to make her spill her true feelings without having to pull them out of her. She stubbornly crossed her arms.

“You never wanted to stop this. Deep down you have feelings for me. And I like you. A lot. Let this happen. Be with me. Trust me. This is me, Roo. No one else. Let me show you how good we can be.”

I can see the tears pooling in her eyes, her lower lip wobbling. Taking her hands, I stoop down so I’m on her eye level.

“I don’t want to hook up with basic bitches. I don’t want you flirting with random hipster douchebags. I want to watch bad 80’s movies with you. I want to split seven containers of Chinese food and be amazed when you eat even the hottest of General Tso’s. I want to take you on a real live date without being afraid that you’ll be so scared, you fly to Brazil. And I really want to have sex with you and only you. I want you to want those things with me. And I think you do.”

Kelsey shakes her head, still fighting the inevitable. This is going to happen. Her eyes are red-rimmed and I can see her holding back the sniffles.

“We wouldn’t be out here right now if this wasn’t what you wanted.” I hold her face in my hands.

“What if I hurt you? What if I screw this up?” The words are barely above a whisper.

“You won’t. Sure, we will both be idiots. No one is perfect. But you know the great thing about falling for your best friend? We already know each other’s faults going in. I know when you’re scared shitless, and you know when I need a good smack on the ass.”

She still isn’t smiling. “My parents…they’re miserable Clint. I’ve never…I’ve never told you just how bad they are. But they’ve been married for over 20 years and I’ve never even seen them touch each other. I have no model of what a healthy relationship looks like. And there’s more. Turns out, I don’t even know who my father is. My mother kept that secret from me my whole life.”

She laughs and shrugs, even though none of this is funny at all. Her voice is a one continuous broken sob. “I have no idea how to love other people. I come from a family of cold-hearted scientists who don’t even believe in it. And what if my biological father is worse?”

I try to soak in all of the information she’s just thrown at me and process it. I need to comfort her, but I had no idea the weight she’d been carrying on her shoulders for so long.

“Roo, you should have told me. First of all, stop with this ‘I don’t know how to love’ bullshit. You’re an amazing friend. You have had almost 15-year friendships with both Minka and Chloe. You love them as if they were your own sisters. And they love you. You fall in love with a new animal every single day. Jackson! You love Jackson! Your parents are shitty people who don’t deserve a daughter as amazing as you are.”

Finally, I got a small smile. “I can’t disagree there.”

“And as for your biological father…you don’t know what kind of person he is until you meet him. And you don’t need to make a decision on whether you want to do that right now. You are the sassiest, sweetest, most caring person that I know. And that’s of your own doing. We decide who we want to be. So choose to be with me.”

I let my declaration hang in the air, praying that she says she will. I hope she can’t see how much I’m sweating right now.

“When I say I want to be alone, you have to leave me be. And I always get the last garlic knot. And I refuse to be dragged to the gym, and we aren’t doing any of those stupid couple things like wearing matching Halloween costumes.”

My face must light up like a Christmas tree, because she giggles and tilts her eyes to the sky. “Does this mean you’ll be with me? Exclusive? We are a couple?”

Kelsey hugs her arms around my waist. “Yes, but you don’t get to drop the girlfriend word like it’s the only one in your vocabulary.”

“Okay.” I nod solemnly. And then remember one caveat I have. “But I get one thing as your new boyfriend…”

She rolls her eyes, waiting for my rule.

“I won’t date a smoker.”

I
slap
on my morning nicotine patch and grumble. Why the hell did I agree to this?

“Looking sexy, babe.” Clint winks at me and I pretend to be annoyed as I sit on the edge of his bed. My stomach dips when he calls me babe.

I’ve gone a week without a cigarette
and
as a girlfriend. Officially. For the first time. Guess we’re both virgins in this relationship now. I must be so nuts to have agreed to this. But you know what those blind men say…fools rush in.

“The things I sacrifice for you…”

“Yeah, but you get all of this. No brainer of a tradeoff, I’d say.”

He uses his hand as a presenter and sweeps it down his nearly naked body. And what a no brainer it is.

Clint’s stretched out on the white comforter, his long, lean body still as toned as ever even though he’s done nothing but drink and sit around since they won his championship. Calls it his “well-earned break.” My lady parts don’t mind his sabbatical at all, means they get the attention his weights and treadmill usually would.

Dark hair covers almost every inch of him, but not in an overly hairy way. Its masculine, grown up, and I fucking love it. His beard, now a little shorter that they’ve won the trophy, still makes me quiver. The only thing I think about when I see it is how it feels when he’s between my legs.

His muscles flex and draw me in as he stretches, and those intense irises bore holes into mine until I break the connection laughing. Clint suggestively flexes his hips and tries to draw down the cartoon characters boxers I bought him as a joke. Now he insists on wearing them whenever the laundry is done.

“No! Not right now.”

“Yes, now. What do you really have to do?” He grabs for me, trying to make me straddle him. I feel the tingles start below my waist, but try not to give in to the Adonis before me.

“I have to go see the new Amur they’re bringing in!” I shriek when he lays his lips on the exact spot on my neck that he knows makes my nipples harden. “Clint!”

“Oh yeah, give it to me baby…” He jokes as he tries to take my pants off. His large, thick fingers feel so good on my skin that I almost let him continue his exploration.

“Okay, you know I’m all about marathon sex, but at some point, you are going to have to leave the house.”

We only have a month before we all have to be out of this house, and Clint hasn’t figured out what he wants to do at all. I agree with him about not finishing school, and support him. I had never stepped foot in a college classroom and I could still be a productive member of society. Having a piece of paper from a university didn’t have to dictate everyone’s life.

But he hasn’t contacted any agents, hasn’t been to see any reps or minor league teams. Refuses to go to any open tryouts or walk on days. And at the same time, he won’t consider any other career options.

I knew I didn’t have the most traditional life, but I had a passion that I hustled at every single day. It left me feeling rewarded, happy and productive. I wanted that for Clint.

Pushing up on his chest, I used my hands to lock his behind his head. “I have an idea…how about you come with me today?”

Maybe if I showed him how great it felt to do something you loved, he would want to find that too.

“Or we could stay here and test out the Xbox that Miles left. I know you don’t want me to school you in Call of Duty…”

“First of all, I will whoop your hot ass in Call of Duty, don’t test me just because you think you’re cute. Seriously, come with me. You can look at cool animals and your hot girlfriend all day.”

I knew I had him at the word girlfriend. Funny how referring to myself as his made him do just about anything. Maybe this whole relationship thing was a good idea.

“Fine. But only because Marnie has been acting like a coward lately and I need some tips to toughen her up.”

W
ho knew
that Clint Bellows was one big scaredy cat?

Don’t let the beard and muscles fool you, people. He was a downright coward. He gave The Wizard of Oz’s lion a run for his money.

When we arrived at the preserve, Dorothy had come running at me full speed and knocked me over into the dirt as she nuzzled into me. After I was done greeting her and giving her the normal petting, baby talk routine, I’d looked up to see Clint had literally sprinted across the grounds back to the car and was frantically waving at me like we had rehearsed some war-like hand signals.

“Quit being a pussy and get over here!”

He slowly walked toward us, eyeing Dorothy like she might unhinge her jaw and inhale me. “I thought that thing was going to rip your throat out.”

“Good to know your first instinct was to drop and run for cover. Aren’t boyfriends supposed to protect you or something?”

“Yeah, like you’re the type of girlfriend who would ever let me stand up for you. I’d have to be pulling you off some animal or person just to make sure you didn’t kill it.”

He knew me too well. “And that’s why you find me so charming. But seriously, come meet Dorothy.”

Those sapphires bug out of his head. “
This
is Dorothy? The way you talk about her I’d think she had a couple pounds on Marnie. You’re aware this is like a full grown tiger?”

He was kind of cute when he was being a big chicken. “Come pet her. She’s a softy. Kind of like someone else I know.”

Stroking Dorothy on the back of her neck to keep her calm, Clint cautiously moved toward her and reached out his hand. When he ran his fingers through the fur on her cheeks, she pushed her face into his hand. She was such a beggar.

Clint boomed out a laugh. “She’s like a dog! I mean…if a dog could outrun a Porsche and rip your throat out with its paws.”

We toured the grounds and visited the other areas on the compound. Trekking over the beautifully landscaped grassy areas and dirt pits, I realized just how amazing it was that I got to spend my time here everyday. It felt like the staff here picked up a piece of Tanzania and plopped it down in the middle of Virginia.

Clint was astonished with the elephant habitat and how gentle the giants were. It made my heart and stomach do somersaults as he walked around them, his lush mouth gaping as they nuzzled him with their rough trunks.

He was also enamored when we wandered upon the gazelle and zebra fields. Those beautiful, ballerina like creatures were so elegant as they seemed to sway and prance in the tall grass. We even picked one out and named it Chloe.

And Clint giggled, actually straight up giggled, at the goofy looking striped horses. The sound made my heart practically melt.

The entire time we moved around the preserve, he would snatch my hand up and hold it in his big, callused one, causing my pale face to go red almost immediately.

In all honesty, not much in our friendship or prior relationship had changed. We still goofed around most of the time, vegged out on the couch, went to Sammy’s with the crew. Had dirty, dirty sex.

But somehow it was better. When Clint had persuaded me to trust him and start a new chapter in our relationship, the guilt and the fear had lifted. Sure, I was still scared I’d do something to hurt him, but I felt good about myself for the first time in a long time. I felt grounded and sure, I had a warmth in my chest all the time that I hadn’t known could have existed before.

It wasn’t just because I’d finally found someone I actually wanted to date. It was because it was Clint. He made everything better, and I knew better than to deny that anymore.

“Mother Nature! I knew you’d be here today for the new Amur.”

I heard Jackson coming up behind us as we walked back towards the tiger habitat on the preserve.

“Jackson! Come meet my friend.” I could always count on him to be happy about the normal things that happened to me in life. “Jackson, meet Clint. Clint, Jackson.”

Clint stuck out his hand, which Jackson took. “Clint Bellows, sir. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m her boyfriend by the way, even though she wants to use that word sparingly.”

A smile lit up Jackson’s tanned, creased face. “I can tell I’m already gonna like you. As long as you treat my girl here right.”

“Always, sir.” Clint had a weird look on his face, one I couldn’t put a name to. I chose to ignore it.

“So where is this tiger, Jax?” I was antsy to get the latest baby here. If he was anything like Dorothy, I knew I would be in instant love.

“They’re bringing him up now. Did you take your boyfriend here around the grounds yet?”

“Already did. I’m pretty sure he’s going to try to convince you to take an elephant back home with him.”

“They’re just so cool!” Clint chimes in, a goofy smile spreading over his face, making me want to run my fingers through all of that black facial hair.

I hadn’t realized I’d stalled the conversation as I was staring at Clint until Jackson cleared his throat. I blinked to clear the haze in my eyes, and Clint was gazing at me like a predator ready to eat his prey. He’d known exactly what I was thinking. I squirmed to stop the wetness now coating my panties.

We stayed a couple more hours to play and socialize with the new Amur. I gave Clint the honors of naming him, and of course he chose Yogi after the most famous catcher in all of baseball. Jackson laughed when I told Clint Yogi was a fictional bear.

“You gave me naming rights, so you have to live with it now.” Clint replied as he tucked a lock of red behind my ear and gave my cheek a gentle stroke. He was buttering me up…and it was working.

And then the sun was setting, casting a romantic glow over the vast land in front of us.

“Come with me.” I reached for Clint’s hand and pulled him to the only spot worthy of watching the twinkling light of the descending sun.

When we reached the greenhouses, I pulled him around the back to the rickety steps that led up to the roof. I began to scale, feeling the warm rust under my fingers, when I realized there wasn’t any jostling movement on the ladder from below.

“What are you doing?” I asked when I looked down and saw Clint shuffling his feet safely on the ground.

“I…I don’t do heights.”

“You’re kidding.” My ears had to be deceiving me.

“Serious as a heart attack, Roo.” He put two fingers in the air like some boy scout.

“Afraid of big animals and now heights? I’m just learning a ton about you today, Mr. Bellows. Come on, get your tight ass up here before we miss it. I’ll make sure you don’t fall.”

Finally I feel the pegs beneath me sway a bit, and I quickly climb the rest of it, planting my feet on the steel and glass topped surface.

Clint shakily appears a few minutes later. “Would it have been better if I’d flashed you a little boob?”

“Yes.” He pouts, clearly annoyed that I made him come up here.

“It’s worth it, I promise.” I sit on the wide steel beam-part of the roof, careful to avoid the glass. After spreading my legs out and patting in between them, Clint crawls in between my lap like a big child.

I wrap my arms and legs around him and plop my head on his shoulder.

“You’re a regular Simba, you know that?”

I laugh at his Lion King reference. “Oh, and who does that make you? Rafiki, oh wise one?”

“I have been told I look like a giant ape. Must be all the body hair.”

“OH LOOK!” I squeal.

We drop the conversation and gaze out onto the horizon, watching as the sun throws off orange, green and blue rays, painting the preserve in beautiful hues. Clint kisses my knuckles as it lowers toward the vanishing point. We both gasp in the final seconds of its visibility, eager to watch one of the world’s simplest miracles.

And then the last ray’s of the sun flash, and its gone. We sit in peaceful silence for a couple of minutes, not ready to get down from this place where nothing but the two of us together exist.