Cat's Lair (17 page)

“What makes you different from a prostitute? She trades sex for money, you trade sex for information.”

He winced and reached out to turn off the taps. “I never looked at it like that. It’s never comfortable, Catarina, and I’m not particularly proud of it, but I wormed my way into a human trafficking ring by sleeping with a fucking bitch who acquired young girls. I shut that shit down. Am I sorry I slept with the skank? Do I wish I didn’t have to do it? Hell yeah. But I closed it down and a hell of a lot of young girls were rescued and more saved from being forced into that kind of life.”

He worked at keeping the edge out of his voice, but he didn’t like having to justify himself and his choices. He stalked across the room and yanked the covers back, exposing her naked body. For the first time he was able to really look at her body. The evidence of his possession was on her thighs, along with trickles of blood.

She had a gorgeous body. Her curves were definitely lush and soft. Her skin was satin, her hair silk. Even the tiny curls at the junction of her legs looked soft and silky. She blushed and reached for the sheet. He bunched the material in his fist and kept her from pulling it over her.

“I’m putting you in the bathtub, woman. You have to get used to being naked around me.” He caught her up, cradling her close to him. Their combined scent made him hard all over again. He liked the way they smelled together, hot and primal and straight out of a rain forest.

She was forced to reach back and hook his neck with one arm. The action lifted her breast toward his mouth. He dipped his head and licked at the nipple. She did a full body shiver and her breath rushed out of her lungs.

He set her down, feet first, in the tub and she sank low, holding the thick mass of hair out of the water. He had forgotten that her hair would be everywhere. He stepped behind her, gathered the heavy fall in his hand and deftly tied a loose knot on top of her head.

“I think we need to get something straight,” she said, not looking at him again.

“Eli,” he prompted.

Her blue gaze darted to his. She made a face. “Eli, then. It’s important for you to know that even though I totally screwed up, it doesn’t change anything. It was sex. That’s all. Sex. There is no reason for me to get comfortable being naked around you. I don’t plan on being naked often. In fact, I prefer that you’re not in the room while I’m taking a bath.”

He didn’t take his eyes from her face the entire time she made her little speech. He felt slow amusement start somewhere in the vicinity of his gut, climb into his chest so his heart felt lighter and a small smile finally reached his mouth.

“Did I say something funny? Because you’re smirking and it isn’t very nice.”

“Yeah, you said something funny. Kitten, we didn’t just have sex. That was off-the-chart sex and you know it. I look at you and get hard. You look at me and burn between your legs. You think I don’t know when a woman wants me? We’re going to have sex, as you so delicately put it, often and in ways you can’t imagine in your wildest dreams. So it is
very
important that you are comfortable being naked around me. And comfortable talking about sex, what you like and what you don’t.”

“I don’t like you smirking and being so sure of yourself,” she said. Her blue eyes flashed a deep violet that only made her all the sexier to him.

“At least you know your partner knows what the hell he’s doing. You’re in good hands.”

She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning back against the tub. “I don’t trust you, Eli. I really don’t. I don’t want to be with someone I don’t trust. It was a mistake having sex with you. I couldn’t help myself. I take full responsibility for throwing myself at you, but that doesn’t mean I want to repeat the experience.”

He made a low sound in his throat, somewhere between a growl and a laugh.

Her gaze jumped to his. “I don’t. Maybe my body does. I won’t lie to you about that, but that doesn’t mean I can’t show restraint and learn control.”

“You do that, baby,” he said, still amused. She had no idea how much she was turning him on with her nonsense. She didn’t know the first thing about a wildfire out of control, and that was what they were together. But she’d learn and he was going to have fun teaching her. “In the meantime, while we’re here in this house, you can lose the panties and be very comfortable.”

She rolled her eyes. “I can see you’re going to be difficult.”

“I’m not trying to be, Cat, but seriously? You think this is a onetime shot?”

She nodded slowly.

“So when I put my mouth between your legs you’re not going to start pleading with me to be inside of you?” he demanded.

Color swept up her neck to turn her face a pretty pink. Her eyes went bright. Hungry. Her legs moved restlessly beneath the water. “I’m not expecting you to put your mouth between my legs.”

“You can’t give a man a taste of all that honey, baby, and then try to take it away from him. It doesn’t work that way. I want to eat you alive. I’ve got the taste of you in my mouth and it isn’t going to go away. I’m not going to be able to be inside you for a little while, a few hours or a day or two so that means I have to sate my desire on your taste. And you’re going to learn what to do with my cock in your mouth.”

“I’m not your sex slave, Eli,” she snapped. “I told you. I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. I don’t even know who you are.”

“Well you’re finding out fast, aren’t you, Kitten,” he said.

Eli leaned his hip against the sink and crossed his arms over his chest. Steam rose from the tub, wrapping her in mystery. A light sheen covered her skin, giving her a glow. Her leopard had subsided for the time being. He knew because his leopard wasn’t pushing him so hard. A female leopard rising several times close to the surface and then settling was fairly standard.

That was hard on the female human counterpart, but he intended to take good care of her. In the meantime, he had a lot to make up for.

“Are you hungry?”

“Can you cook?”

“Not really.” He admitted with a grin. “I told you the truth. I tried to give you who I really was, Catarina, not some bullshit made-up man. I’ll try to cook for you though.”

She smiled a genuine smile for the first time. “Do you actually have groceries?”

“I called my neighbor and she sent a supply over. I asked her to pick up an espresso machine as well and some coffee beans.”

“Give me a few more minutes and I’ll see what you have. I enjoy cooking, and it will hopefully get your mind off sex long enough for me to reason with you.”

“I doubt that, but I’m willing to give it a try,” he agreed, mostly because she really did look as if she wanted to make breakfast. And he liked her cooking.

“Why did you do that to me?” she repeated.

He sighed. “I told you, baby. It’s my job. No one really knew what you were to Cordeau. No one knew why you were in his home or why you left. There were rumors and speculation. I think most people thought you were part of his organization, at the very least his lover. I knew the first time I saw you that you weren’t either.”

“Still, you came after me. You lied to me. I thought you were my friend. You worked hard to gain my trust and then you betrayed me.”

“I know it felt that way to you,” he said, “and I’m sorry. I told you I fucked up with you, and I did. I liked being with you far more than I should have. The minute I realized you were an innocent, I was careful with you. I wanted, maybe even needed, the friendship more than you did.”

Her eyelashes fluttered and she tilted her head to one side. Once again, her bottom lip was between her teeth. His heart somersaulted and his cock jerked. That mattered to her, his admission of need. He had to give her something of himself.

“A man in my position, Cat, doesn’t have family and has very few friends. Not even in the department. I work knee-deep in slime and I forget sometimes what the hell I’m even working for. I can’t remember the last time I laughed, not until I was with you. I can’t remember feeling light and easy and even happy, not until you. I couldn’t stop myself from getting involved with you. Every single day I told myself it had to stop, that I was getting in too deep and it wasn’t fair to you, but honest to God, Kitten, I couldn’t stop myself.”

His voice rang with honesty because it was the truth. She drew up her knees and rubbed her chin on top of them, regarding him with her blue eyes. She liked what she heard, that much he could see. It wasn’t redemption, but it gave her something to think about.

“You wouldn’t have kissed me if I hadn’t asked you to, would you?” she persisted.

“Would I have? I’d like to think I would have been a better man than that. I didn’t know about the decision to tell Cordeau where you were, swear to God, Catarina, but I knew you were thinking of running after you spotted Tuttle. Not just thinking about it. I tried to talk you out of it, but I knew you’d made up your mind.”

He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Damn it all, I didn’t want to lose you. I could tell you I did it so you would be safe from Cordeau. I knew you wouldn’t agree to testify against him. I didn’t think you really knew anything of use. To anyone else I used that excuse, that I wanted you safe from him, but the honest fucking truth is, I didn’t want to lose you. I knew if you left, I’d never see you again.”

She sucked in her breath, her eyes glued to his face.

“That’s it. That’s the real reason. I’m not the white knight. I’m not even a good DEA agent. I’m the man who for the first time in my life wanted a woman for myself. You can’t know what my life is like, Cat. I’m alone all the time. I don’t have a clue about a real relationship. I’m a leopard, a shifter, so I’m bad-tempered and mean and sometimes violent. I can be as cold as ice or in a fiery rage. That’s the life of a shifter. There are few of us and most choose to stay within our kind, in lairs. I don’t have a lair. I don’t have friends. I do my job and I’m damn good at it, no regrets. Until you came along.”

“Eli,” she whispered. “Stop talking. I can’t process any more. I have to think about everything you’ve said. I’m very hurt and confused and feeling raw. I’m embarrassed about throwing myself at you, and the things you talk about scare the crap out of me.”

He frowned. “I’m not trying to frighten you, baby. I’m trying to make you see where my head was.”

“Not about that. About sex. You and me.
That
scares me.”

“I know,” he said gently.

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me, and you did.”

“I know,” he repeated, his voice dropping an octave. “You need to come out of there before the water cools down. I really don’t want you sore.”

He had no idea when her leopard would choose to push close to the surface again, or worse, emerge fully. She couldn’t be sore for that event. It would be wild and uninhibited, a primal joining and both human and leopard would claim their respective mates. There would be no turning back once Catarina’s leopard made her choice.

He removed a towel from a drawer and held it up. “Stand up.”

“I’d really prefer to do this alone,” she said.

“I know.” He stayed where he was, holding the towel so she could step out of the tub and he could dry her off.

“Stop saying ‘I know,’ that doesn’t really say anything at all,” she snapped, exasperated. “You just do whatever you want, don’t you?”

“Pretty much, yes.” He flashed a small smile. He loved her sass. Catarina broken tore his heart out. Catarina full of attitude made his body harder than a rock. “It’s the only way with you. I learned that from watching you in the dojo. You aren’t predictable at all. Like attacking me in your bedroom. That was the last thing I expected. And you did pretty well. I was proud of you.”

She pulled the plug on the tub, clearly resigned that he would stand there forever, which wasn’t true. If she hadn’t stood up, he would have hauled her ass out of there and then dried her off.

“I was proud of you getting out of the handcuffs as well. You’re no pushover, Cat, and you can’t be a pushover with a man like me, but bottom line, when it comes to your safety or health, you’re not going to win.”

“You’re back to being an arrogant jerk.”

He enfolded her in the towel and began to rub the material over her skin in order to remove the water. While he did he inspected her for marks and bruising. He crouched down and nudged her legs apart. She trembled.

“Put your hand on my shoulder, baby. I just want to make certain you’re okay. I’m not going to do anything you won’t like.”

“That’s not what I’m afraid of,” she said honestly.

He wrapped his hand around her calf and then ran his palm up to the inside of her thigh. He couldn’t imagine another woman being in her position and being so open with him. But then, she’d done that all along when it came to her emotions. She might have hid her past with Cordeau, but she didn’t hold back when the topic was about her and what she thought or felt.

He stroked the inside of her thigh and allowed himself to inhale her scent. Honey and spice. He would always want that, want her. No. He’d always crave her.

“I’d like to make breakfast now.” Her voice was tight. Clearly she was nervous.

“I’ll get you one of my shirts to wear. It’s warm and will cover you easily. I think if you let the air reach you you’ll heal faster.”

She considered his offer. In the end she took his flannel shirt when he handed it to her. It was soft and warm and far too big for her, fitting more like a short dress than a shirt. He rolled up the sleeves for her and walked her into the kitchen.

“You don’t have a phone anywhere that I can see,” she observed.

That told him she’d been looking for one. The only person he could think she might call was Cordeau. That didn’t sit well with him, but he kept his mouth shut.

“I live off the grid here. Totally self-sufficient. The water is gravity fed. Solar panels for electricity. I’ve got a garden in and I pay to have it kept up. Grow most of my own vegetables. I’m not here often, but when I quit work, this is where I plan to retire. My leopard has space to run free, and I like the quiet.”

“I like quiet too, as long as I have my coffee.”