Cat's Lair (37 page)
“Well, it’s true. You gave that to me, Eli. I’ve been so afraid for so long that I almost don’t know how not to be. But you took that away… mostly.” She had to add the last because she was being strictly honest with him. She still couldn’t quite make herself look at him.
“I don’t want you ever to be afraid, Cat. Not anymore. We’ll make you safe. The more you know about self-defense, the better you are with a gun and other weapons, the more you feel you’re in condition, the safer you’ll feel by yourself. My male will teach your female how to protect herself, but always, always, know I’m going to defend you and protect you with my last breath.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him. He looked – invincible. Maybe it was that strength in him. She saw him naked, all the flowing power, the roped muscles and easy, fluid way he moved. He was fast, and when he shifted, he could do so on the run. His presence made her feel safe, but more than that, she liked that it was important to him that she learn to defend herself. He wanted her strong. He wanted her to feel as if she could survive an attack. That meant something to her.
Catarina cleared her throat. “There really isn’t any information on shifters so after I learned about Rafe, I studied leopards. They mate and then the female raises her young alone.”
Eli didn’t make a sound. He waited in silence. He knew it was an effort on her part, he could tell by the way her body stiffened, but she forced herself to turn around and face him, to walk toward him with his coffee, but she studiously looked at the floor while she did so.
“Baby, are you asking me a question? Because if you are, I need your eyes on mine.” His voice was low, but it held a clear command.
Her lashes fluttered and then her gaze jumped to his. He took the coffee. It smelled almost as good as she did. He couldn’t resist smoothing his hand over her bare bottom again. Just having her standing there so close made him hard. He knew it wasn’t all about how she looked, or even the fact that she was a wildcat in his bed. There was far more to it than that.
It was this. Her bare ass, no panties under his shirt because he’d asked it of her. It was her inexperience, her shyness, yet her willingness to learn from him, to let him guide her and teach her the things she wanted to learn. Her trust in giving him her body – that trust – in spite of his earlier betrayal of her. How could he not be so in love with her that it hurt? How could he possibly be with her and not know she was his world and always would be?
“I suppose I am. How do shifters handle that sort of thing?”
“Shifters mate for life. Over and over. They find one another and they choose each other. I would never leave you, or take another woman. When you carry my child in your belly, baby, it will only make me love you more. I’m not going anywhere.”
Her eyes began to move away from his and toward the floor. She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Keep your eyes on mine. You hide when you avoid someone’s eyes. You’ve practiced it enough, for years, obviously, but there isn’t a reason to hide anymore. I want to know what you’re thinking, so you look at me not the floor.”
“I’m thinking you’re extremely bossy,” she snapped, her eyes coming back to his.
Deep blue. Flirting with anger. That made him hard too. He’d seen her a lot of ways, but anger wasn’t really one of them. Hurt, yes, anger not so much.
He grinned at her and then took a sip of coffee. “My woman makes a great cup of coffee, and she has a temper.”
“Why would that make you happy?”
“Best kind of sex there is, baby. Make-up sex.” His grin widened when her eyes turned a deep blue and flashed at him. There was just a hint of a smile in the midst of her mad.
“You do know you can be annoying, don’t you?” she demanded.
“I think you’re a little grumpy because you haven’t had your coffee and you just woke up.” He stepped close to her, crowding her, inhaling her scent. She could strip him bare, right to his soul, with her eyes. She just didn’t know it and he thought it best that she never did. “What is it about having babies that scares you, Kitten? Talk to me. Let me help with that.”
Her eyelashes fluttered, but her eyes didn’t leave his and there was an instant melting around the region of his heart. He admired her courage.
“I’ve never even held a baby, Eli, let alone taken care of one. I’ve never been around a child. I don’t know the first thing about raising children.”
She didn’t know it, but the way her gaze clung to him, the expression on her face, she looked to him like he was her lifeline. He wanted to be that lifeline. He wanted her to always look to him when she was scared or confused. He stepped even closer to her, one arm sliding around her waist to lock her to him, the other putting down his coffee so he could shape her face with his palm.
“Don’t be afraid of a child, baby. We’ll sort that out together. We’re both smart. We aren’t going to fuck up our children. You’ll be sweet like you are with them, pouring out all that love you’ve got, and I’ll growl and snarl and protect them. We’re going to love each other and them so much, they’ll be swimming in love.”
Her eyes searched his face. She swallowed twice before she answered. “Eli, has it escaped your notice that I can’t even say that word?”
“When it comes to you, Kitten, nothing escapes me. Not ever.” His thumb moved gently along her jaw. “You were made for love, Catarina. To love your man. To love your children. And for them to love you.”
She blinked, clearly surprised. A faint blush stole up her cheeks. “You say the most amazing things to me, Eli.”
She never knew what to do with him when he was giving her compliments. He figured she would have a lifetime to get used to it because he intended to give them to her on a regular basis.
“Only because they’re true. We both know I’m brutally honest.” He bent his head and brushed a kiss across her lips. “Make your coffee, baby, and let’s eat.”
“Okay.” She smiled up at him.
He couldn’t resist another kiss, this time sliding his tongue along the seam of her lips in a silent command for her to open to him. He slid both hands under the hem of the flannel shirt to cup the bare firm globes of her ass. She had a perfect butt. He loved watching her walk. He loved smoothing his palms over that wonderful curve. He loved looking at her bottom when she lay on her belly in their bed, or was on her hands and knees. Just like that, his cock reacted, straining against the material of his sweats. Hungry. Greedy.
She didn’t pull away from him. If anything she pressed tighter into him. That was another thing he loved. She gave him access to her body when he needed or wanted to touch her. She didn’t make a thing about it, she just did it. Caring for him. Loving him without words. He heard her talking, even if it was in silence. He heard her loud and clear.
“After dinner, Catarina, I’m going to see what I can do about those very sore muscles of yours. First the hot tub, then a hot shower and then I massage you.”
She turned her face up to his, her blue eyes searching his face. A slow smile took his breath.
“Massage?” She licked her lips. “That sounds like fun. Do I get to give you a massage too?”
She was killing him. He cleared his throat. “Would that make you happy?”
“Yes. I like touching you.”
The way she made the admission, so honest, made his heart stutter. Sometimes just looking at her hurt, she was so beautiful. But this, the way she moved into him when he touched her, the way she allowed his hands on her so willingly, and her ready confession, meaning it, that she liked touching him, nearly brought him to his knees.
He didn’t answer her immediately, he was too busy fighting for air. Fighting to keep his hands off of her and his cock out of her while she healed.
She tugged at her lower lip again with her teeth. “Your muscles have to be sore too, Eli. You were conditioning just like me, and your leopard was crazy last night. But if you don’t want me to…”
He stopped her with another kiss. “I want you to. Coffee. Eat. Hot tub. Let’s get it done so I can feel your hands on me, Kitten.”
He smacked her on her bare bottom and then slid his palm over the heated skin. Her eyes went wide. He grinned at her. “I owed you that, remember.”
“I didn’t think it would feel like that if you actually did it,” she said.
“Baby, I love seeing that wild look in your eyes. I love what wild does to your body and then what your body does to mine. I’m going to think up all kinds of creative ways to keep that look there.” He let her go, stepping back because it was either that or lift her into his arms and slam her body down hard on his pulsing cock.
Catarina went back to the coffee machine and he put the sandwiches on the table. He’d started to put them on plates but at the last minute put them on napkins. Straddling his chair, he snagged one of the roast beef sandwiches and dug in, all the while watching Cat at the coffee machine. It was a thing of beauty seeing her work, the concentration on her face.
“Stop staring at me.” She didn’t turn around.
Eli found himself smiling. Her leopard senses were becoming acute. Either that or she was really aware of him. Either way, it was a good thing. “I like looking at you. Especially when you’re making coffee.”
She laughed. He loved her laugh. He watched her while he ate his second sandwich and she delicately picked at hers. She definitely enjoyed the coffee and she looked far mellower. He was glad she didn’t want a second cup to take with them out to the hot tub. She hadn’t even said a word about the napkins versus plates, although she had raised her eyebrows and her little smile was very amused. He didn’t want her smile to disappear when he told her he didn’t want her drinking more than one cup of coffee.
“You like my bossy,” he announced.
She nearly spit out her coffee. “Where did that come from?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You were thinking about ordering me around again, weren’t you?”
“I spend a lot of time thinking about ordering you around,” he admitted, unrepentant. “It’s a good thing you like it.”
“I think shifting into your leopard yesterday has made you a little crazy. Just drink the rest of your coffee, you’ll be all right.”
He threw his head back and laughed. She also made him happy in ways he hadn’t imagined.
She barely ate her sandwich and he let her get away with it because he could see she was still exhausted and he wanted her in the hot tub. He rinsed the coffee cups before she could and tossed the napkins before grabbing her hand and taking her out to the lower deck where the tub was.
“I don’t have a swimsuit,” Cat pointed out as she stood uncertainly, watching him take the cover off.
He glanced at her. “Kitten.” Amused. “I’d just take it off of you anyway. Have you not figured out yet that one of the greatest joys of my life is to look at you naked?”
She smiled at him. “I guess I missed that.”
He stalked over to her, caught the hem of the shirt and pulled it over her head without unbuttoning it. There was very little moon, but he could see her lush body. His mark was still everywhere, the finger smudges and small bite marks. He brushed his hand down her left breast, watching her face. She was sensitive. The shiver ran through her and her eyes heated.
“Get in, before I decide I need you right now.”
Her gaze dropped to his fully erect cock as he shed his sweats. “Any time you need me, Eli, I want you. You have to know that. I’m never going to be too tired or too sore.”
She trailed her fingers over him and his cock jerked in response. His belly tightened. That was his woman. “Look up at me, baby,” he commanded softly.
Her gaze jumped to his. He saw the heat. The fire. The sexy. He nearly groaned aloud, not believing the miracle that was Catarina.
“I really mean it. Not just for you, but for me too.” The last was admitted in a low voice, but her gaze didn’t waver from his.
“I know you mean it, Kitten. I love that you mean it. Stop tempting me and get the hell in the hot tub.”
She laughed softly and climbed in. He watched her, shaking his head, still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that she was his. He watched her face carefully as she sank a little gingerly into the hot water. She winced just enough that he knew he’d been right to ensure she had a break. She still looked exhausted, and he made up his mind he would postpone his own massage in an effort to get her to relax and go back to sleep. If she had her hands on him, he doubted if he had the discipline to keep from taking her. And he knew she’d offer because she was just that generous.
The night was cool enough that steam rose from the water’s surface. He adjusted the jets on her body, and sank down onto one of the lower seats so the jets could hit the back of his neck and shoulders. Catarina was right when she said he had to be sore too. He felt as if he’d wrestled his leopard and lost.
Catarina put her head back and closed her eyes. It gave him the opportunity to study her profile. She was beautiful any way he looked at her. Her long sweeping lashes and the curve of her cheek, the high cheekbones and softly rounded chin, all her gleaming, glossy hair she’d tied up in an intricate knot.
“You’re staring at me again.” She kept her eyes closed.
“I told you, I like looking at you, especially when you’re bare-ass naked two feet from me.”
“All this time I thought it was when I was making coffee.”
“Kitten.” He waited until her lashes fluttered and rose just enough that he could see her blue eyes. “I like looking at you all the time.”
She laughed softly and closed her eyes again.
