Caught in Crystal: A Lyra Novel (33 page)

“If it were that bad, you wouldn’t be taking the children,” Bryn said flatly.

Kayl was silenced. She could not say that she had begun to have nightmares of Mark dissolving into a black pool and Dara hacked to pieces by grinning, eagle-helmeted Magicseekers. Glyndon was watching her with a grave expression; somehow he always seemed to know Kayl’s private worries.

Or was she reading more into his face than was really there? Kayl gave herself a mental shake and came back to the conversation.

“I don’t think they’ll object,” Barthelmy was saying. “But you’ll have to talk—”

The door opened and Risper came in. “Ferianek Trone? Would you and the Wyrds come in now? You, too,” she added, nodding at Barthelmy and Kayl. “You really ought to listen to the discussion.”

“All right,” Barthelmy said. “Coming, Kayl?”

“I suppose so. But what about Glyndon?”

Risper looked dubious. “He has every right to be there,” she said apologetically, “but it’s bound to start another argument. Some of them are just looking for an excuse.”

“I see. Tomorrow may be even more interesting than I’d expected,” Glyndon said thoughtfully. “Never mind; I think I’ll join the children in an early bedtime.”

“You’re sure?” Kayl said doubtfully, though there was nothing in Glyndon’s tone or expression to make her think that he resented exclusion from the discussion.

“I don’t want to spend three or four hours arguing about who ought to go where, with whom, and why,” Glyndon said. “I’ll leave that to you and Barthelmy. If anything important happens, you can tell me about it in the morning.”

Kayl hesitated. Then a trick of the firelight sent shadows flickering across Glyndon’s face, and she saw the tiredness he was trying to hide. Glyndon was frequently exhausted after one of his visions; she should have remembered that. She wished fervently that she could take some of his fatigue on herself, or that she could at least keep his nightmares at bay long enough for him to recover a little. But she could not say anything; Glyndon would not thank her for fussing.

“Sleep well, then,” she said as lightly as she could. “But don’t think you’re getting out of anything. I’ll make you sit through a stroke-by-stroke description tomorrow.”

“I’ll be sure to brace myself for it,” Glyndon said with a flicker of amusement.

“Come on, Kayl, they’re waiting,” Risper said, and Kayl went to join her.

T
HE DISCUSSION LASTED WELL
into the night, but in the end the Sisters agreed that they had no more reasonable alternative than to take one of Ferianek’s suggested routes to the Tower. They left at sunrise next morning. Both Ferianek and the Wyrds came with them, much to the delight of Mark and Dara.

Ferianek made a marvelous traveling companion—endlessly interested in everything he saw or heard, always willing to listen, yet with an uncanny ability to sense what subjects to avoid and when to be silent. His storytelling ability was unequaled in Kayl’s experience, and his supply of tales never seemed to dry up. The children would have monopolized him completely, had they had their own way, but Ferianek’s duties made that impossible. He acted as both guide and scholar for the party, and the Elder Mothers spent hours questioning him about the Tower and the valley, hoping to discover some clue to the power that had taken their magic from them.

The expanded party took six days to reach the foothills of the Windhome Mountains. The road was nearly level, which made walking easy, and the weather remained clear and sunny. On the third day after leaving the village Kayl saw the first quick shoots of a snowdrop poking up beside a rapidly dwindling mound of snow. The children kept each other amused, for the most part, and their occasional quarrels blew over quickly. In many ways, Kayl found it the most enjoyable part of the journey thus far.

Under Ferianek’s guidance, they turned north for half a day when they reached the foothills, then resumed their easterly direction. Tensions among the adult members of the group began to increase. Barthelmy and Glyndon started spending much of their spare time discussing various magical alternatives with Corrana, Javieri, and the other Sisters who would be directly involved in the attempt to penetrate the Twisted Tower. Bryn and Alden joined Risper and Demma as advance scouts, searching for any sign of the Magicseekers, for none of the Elder Mothers was prepared to trust blindly Ferianek’s assurances.

All this activity left Kayl with little to do but think. The Elder Mothers seemed uninterested in making use of Kayl’s strategic skills; the attack on the Tower would, after all, be almost solely magical in nature, and they had Ferianek to provide details of the terrain around the valley. Kayl began to wonder why they had wanted her along at all. She started volunteering for the late watches, so that she could at least feel she was contributing something. The technique was only moderately successful; she continued to feel restless and uncertain. Late one night, after making the rounds of the camp, Kayl settled herself in front of the fire and forced herself to begin putting her thoughts in order.

She began with the Sisterhood of Stars. In Kith Alunel she had discovered that she could not return to her life with the Sisterhood, but she had never thought that she might come to an active distaste for them and all they stood for. She had enjoyed traveling from Copeham to Kith Alunel with Corrana in spite of the irritations; the current journey was another story entirely. She was no longer sure the Sisterhood of Stars was worth saving, but a lingering sense of duty and honor held her to her promise. She would see this enterprise through to its finish.

That thought led, inevitably, to the well-worn reconsideration of her reasons for joining the expedition in the first place. Taken singly, they seemed too trivial a justification for such a dangerous commitment. There was the hope, however frail, that Glyndon might be cured of his visions; there were the threats to Mark and Dara; there was the obligation to try to mend something she might have had a hand in breaking; there was a continued affection for what the Sisterhood of Stars had once meant to her; there was a stubborn and senseless urge to be present for the end of the adventure she had begun sixteen years before. And, buried so deeply she was almost unaware of it, there was the desire to see some part of her past finished and its ghosts laid to rest, so that she could go on…

Go on to what? Kayl realized suddenly that she had not thought past reaching the Twisted Tower. She scowled and shifted uneasily, staring into the fire. She was letting herself drift again, as she had in Copeham after Kevran’s death, as she had on the journey to Kith Alunel. She was a better strategist than that, or she had been, once. When had she taken to reacting to things as they happened, instead of thinking ahead and preparing for them?

Kayl’s frown deepened as she realized that again she was looking backward. Deliberately, she set herself the problem: what were she and her children going to do once the Sisterhood was finished with the Twisted Tower? The easiest path would be to return to Kith Alunel with the expedition, but what then? She would not rejoin the Sisterhood, and she had known for a long time that a widow with two children to raise could not make her living as a mercenary soldier or guard. She might be able to find work in an inn, but she found that the idea had little appeal for her now.

And if she did not return to Kith Alunel? She could, she supposed, take the children to Varna, as she had told Jirod so long ago. But she did not know how the Varnans would react to Kevran’s northern-born, Sisterhood-trained wife and his half-Varnan children, nor did she think she would be comfortable for long in such a strange and rigid culture.

Then there was Glyndon. Kayl could no longer deny the strength of her feelings for him, any more than she could fool herself into thinking his love for her did not exist. She found herself wishing she were twenty again, serenely confident that love was all that mattered. But she was not twenty, and she knew better. She had the children to think of, and even if she had not, she did not know what sort of life she would lead with Glyndon, or if either of them would be happy in it. So she continued to avoid admitting aloud what she knew they would both have to face sooner or later.

The real difficulty was, and had always been, that she had no clear idea of what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

She knew a great deal about what she did not want, but she could not plan her future on the basis of avoiding this place or that group. A branch broke in the fire, sending up a swirl of tiny sparks, and Kayl blinked. It was later than she had realized; her watch was over. She rose and stretched, then went to wake up her replacement, the unanswered questions still milling aimlessly about in her mind.

Kayl awoke early the next morning and decided to get her sword practice in before breakfast. She dressed as quietly as she could, to avoid awakening the children, then took her sword and went looking for a level spot to exercise.

Just outside the tent, she met Risper, who had drawn the early morning watch. “Where away?” said the healer. “And why so early?”

“Practice,” Kayl said, touching the hilt of her sword. “I couldn’t sleep. Do you know if there’s a reasonably flat area anywhere close?”

“There’s a spot over by the birches that Demma and Forrin were using last night,” Risper said, and pointed. “It’s just around that hill there.”

“Thanks. If Mark or Dara wake up worried, would you let them know where I am?”

Risper nodded, and Kayl started off in the direction the healer had indicated. She found the place easily, a grassy patch of land between two hills, and soon she was lost in the familiar rhythm of the exercises.

She was in the middle of a particularly complicated series of figures when she heard someone coming toward her from the direction of the camp. She finished the sequence just as Glyndon came into sight. “Good morning,” he called.

“Good morning,” Kayl said, straightening. She sheathed her sword and walked toward him. “You’re up early.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

Kayl waited, but Glyndon did not continue. “Well, what is it?” she asked finally.

“Have you still got that crystal chip we found in Kevran’s rod?” Glyndon said.

“Of course I have it,” Kayl said. The question of that demon-cursed bit of glass had been pricking at her since before the expedition had left Kith Alunel. She let some of her annoyance and worry show as she went on. “Does this mean you’re finally going to let me speak to Javieri about it?”

“I’d still rather you didn’t.” Glyndon’s tone was absently apologetic, as if he had more important things to concern him.

“Why not? We’re only three or four days from the valley; we have to tell them now, while Javieri still has time to allow for it in her plans. It’s going to be hard enough to explain why we didn’t mention it months ago.”

“No,” Glyndon said, and looked away from Kayl. “Not yet.”

Kayl pressed her lips together for an instant, then voiced the suspicion that had been growing in her mind for the last week. “You don’t intend to tell the Elder Mothers about the chip at all. Why? Glyndon, what are you hiding?”

“Must I be hiding something? Kayl, if I thought that knowing about the crystal would help the Sisterhood get us safely into the Twisted Tower, I would have told them of it myself, long ago. But it won’t. They’ll only try to keep us outside the Tower, and perhaps destroy the crystal chip as well. And that would be disastrous.”

“Javieri has more sense than that.”

“Perhaps. But it will take more than good sense to solve the problem of the Tower. And even with all her magic intact, I do not think Javieri capable of understanding the magic of the crystal.”

“And you can?”

“As much as anyone.” Glyndon’s eyes were haunted. “Please, trust me.”

“I should never have promised not to speak of that crystal without your consent,” Kayl muttered.

“But you did promise. I’m sorry, Kayl, but I don’t want to take the chance.”

Kayl looked at him, wondering how far to press him. “Then what do we do?”

Glyndon hesitated. Then, fixing his eyes on the mountains that loomed above them, he said, “I was going to ask you to give it to me.”

For a long moment Kayl could not collect her thoughts. “Is that what you came out here to ask me about?” she said at last.

“Yes.”

“No explanation?” Kayl felt her temper slipping. “You can do better than that, Glyndon.”

Glyndon lowered his eyes to hers. He did not seem reassured by what he found there, but he said with single-minded stubbornness, “Will you give me the crystal?”

“Why do you want it?”

Again Glyndon hesitated. “I think—I hope—it may help me understand what I ‘see’, or at least make the visions clearer.”

“There’s more to it than that,” Kayl said with certainty. “I want the whole story, Glyndon. Now.”

“Kayl…”

“Is it the visions again?” Kayl asked more gently, “or is it something else this time?”

Glyndon muttered something under his breath, then said with difficulty, “It’s the same thing. My visions are linked to the big crystal somehow, but they’re also tied to that chip you have, and it’s still part of the Crystal in the Twisted Tower.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know how I know! But I’m right. I can feel those cursed crystals even in my sleep, and the closer we get to the Tower, the worse it gets. If I had the chip, I could work out what’s happening.”

“All by yourself?” Kayl said skeptically.

Glyndon raised his head. “I am still a Varnan wizard.”

“Is that the real reason you don’t want to tell the Elder Mothers about the crystal? Because they aren’t Varnans? You’re as bad as they are!”

“No! You don’t understand. That’s a separate thing; it has nothing to do with my wanting to study the crystal.”

“Maybe it should,” Kayl said grimly. Her immediate impulse was to drag Glyndon back to camp at once and find Javieri, but she forced herself to stop and think first. The Elder Mothers would certainly react badly to the long concealment of the crystal chip; Glyndon was right to fear that they might bar him and Kayl from entering the Twisted Tower. On the other hand, the crystal seemed to be at the center of the mystery of the Tower; letting the Sisters try to enter without knowing as much as possible about it went against all Kayl’s training as a strategist and tactician… “There has to be some way of telling the Elder Mothers,” Kayl muttered.