Challenging Depression & Despair: A Medication-Free, Self-Help Programme That Will Change Your Life (28 page)

Philip

‘When I did the “count down from 100” exercise, nothing came out. Not a bloody sausage. I tried making a jewellery box using off-cuts but that was rubbish. So I thought, what can I do? Well, I was ringing into the local radio station at about two in the morning talking about some alcoholic in the news when it suddenly came to me. I’ll make some beer-mats. I might even sell them. I cannibalised veneers and timber off-cuts, squared them up and bevelled the edges, dyeing them different colours and gluing them together. I was really quite chuffed with them. I’ve seen other home-crafted ones but mine were just as good, if not better. I have made things before but never while I’ve been depressed.’

Vaz

‘Would “making a baby” count? That’s creative, isn’t it – the ultimate! Anyone who is a parent knows what “go create” really means. But when I’ve been totally down, I didn’t even want to do that. I’m a bit better now, it has to be said. Oh, and I had a bit of a dance round the bedroom. That gets your blood circulating. OK, I am trying, honest!’

Susanna

‘I decorated the little spare room. I’m not that handy but I did it all, floor to ceiling, and wouldn’t let anybody help me. I even decorated the lampshade. Then I looked at the clock and it was half past one in the morning! But I love making things. While you’re decorating or embroidering or knitting, you’re in another world, and you look up and the clock’s gone round and you can’t say where you’ve been. It’s great when you’re feeling down because something else takes over. There can be a war going on outside and you’re just there, humming away to yourself, quite contented.’

Barbara

‘I made a rabbit for my granddaughter – she’s only three but quite intelligent. I cut out all the pieces first from an old fake fur coat I’d never worn, and I had a struggle getting the needle through as the fabric was very thick, but then as you begin to assemble it, it all starts to look like what you imagined you were making. When I showed it to my granddaughter she thought I’d bought it. I said, “No, I made it for you, my darling.” I think one ear fell off but I sewed it back on again and she takes it to bed with her.’

Adrian

‘I’m madly creative but in bursts. I do scattergun writing – bits of fiction, bits of observation. This was more disciplined. I wrote some material for a trade magazine – I can’t be more specific – but they liked it. They said they would quite possibly commission something on a different theme, but what was more important to me was that they said I could write. I know I can, but I usually don’t own it. I don’t sign
it and I don’t feel responsible for it. This had my by-line on it. It is a modest breakthrough. At least I’m getting paid.’

NOTE

1
. Originally published by HarperCollins in 1993 but there are several revised versions.

21

Nine: the fear challenge

Let’s begin with a puzzle for you to solve.

THE SCARED DOG PUZZLE

I have a retired greyhound who is terrified of bird-scarers – compressed air cylinders emitting loud timed explosions that are intended to frighten birds away from farmers’ crops. They are set to go off at intervals of perhaps twenty minutes, and may be positioned near footpaths. Wherever I walk my dog in the countryside where we live, he can hear these explosions, and they can go on for months. What should I do about this problem?

1
Not walk my dog.

2
Walk my dog around the town only.

3
Keep pushing and pulling my dog forward even though he is scared.

4
Sedate my dog.

5
Train my dog to get used to loud noises by playing him recordings.

6
Inure my dog to the bangs by sitting in the car with him nearby.

If you answer (1), under new animal welfare legislation this may constitute cruel or improper treatment and my dog could be taken away. If you think (4), veterinary drugs can be very expensive and may cause side effects. If you answer (3), my dog is very large and therefore difficult to manoeuvre. And if you say (2) I should have to pay for a lot of extra petrol and parking fees in order to give my dog a rather unnatural life. When I sought professional advice from a vet and an animal behaviourist, one said (5) and the other said (6).
Why?

PHOBIAS GALORE!

If you look on the Internet under ‘phobias’ you will find a virtual cornucopia of terrors. Here is just a
tiny
selection:

Two that I particularly liked were
hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia
, or fear of the number ‘666’, and
anophobia
, which is fear of everything! I have no idea what you might be afraid of. Your particular bogeymen may not be here at all because there are literally
hundreds
more phobias to choose from. But take a look at my short selection for a moment. Examine it, and let your eyes run up and down. I want you to consider a very radical idea about all these phobias – one that may get you to see your own fears in a completely new light.

It is not the
thing
that you are afraid of; it is the
fear
.

It has long been recognised – and not just by psychologists – that fear is self-perpetuating and self-augmenting. Franklin D. Roosevelt warned America in his first inaugural address in 1933: ‘There is nothing to fear but fear itself.’ Roosevelt knew a thing or two about courage. He was a paraplegic who might have wanted to hide away from society, but instead he led America through a world war and a great Depression.

THE MOUSE FEAR

‘Fear of fear’
– how does that work? Well, say you are afraid of mice. Quite apart from the fact that a mouse cannot harm you, there is something inherently strange about a phobia in that it recurs long after the original stimulus has gone. It goes
on and on. It feeds on itself. Many musophobics cannot remember the first time they experienced the ‘mouse fear’. It may have been a chance encounter with the little creature when they did not know what it was, or may have been an exposure to somebody
else’s
mouse fear – e.g. that of a parent. But having once felt it, they start to think about how frightened they were, and then to think of
ways to avoid
that fear in future.
They begin to be afraid of the
idea
of mice and anything to do with mice – their tails, their shapes, their speed, their scurrying. Anything vaguely mouse-like now preys on their minds until the actual sight of the animal becomes a thing of pure terror. The original scare has grown out of all proportion until it invades consciousness itself. The whole experience of
mouse
becomes perilous, mind-threatening, overwhelming.

Yet the mouse has stayed the same. It is the fear that has grown.