Authors: Christina Palmer
The following day, knowing
Logan’s eyes were on her as she picked out clothes from their wardrobe, she
made sure to dress conservatively for work. He lounged in bed with his hands
behind his head, yawning and occasionally sitting up to take a sip of his
coffee. He'd made them both breakfast in bed, snuck out of the bedroom before
Charlotte was even awake.
He'd been correct about
his cooking skills—they were excellent. She was surprised and pleased someone
like him, with some traditional views about male and female roles in relationships,
was perfectly happy to be the main cook in the household. Being quite lazy in
the kitchen herself, Charlotte was extremely pleased with the situation. She
also found it touching that he'd look after her so well, treating her like his
princess
as he sometimes referred to her.
Logan’s job remained a
complete mystery to her. Every morning after sharing breakfast in bed, he'd be back
in bed by the time she left for work. These days, she always took a taxi
because Logan was too lazy to get up and take her in. However, he insisted on always
picking her up in his newly acquired car, when she was done for the day.
Adding to the mystery, when
Logan came to pick her up from work, he was nearly always dressed casually in
jeans and shirt or sweater; the same clothes he wore around the house. This
gave her no further indication as to what he did all day while she was at work.
Of course, he remained just as evasive as ever, getting annoyed or angry if she
'went on about it,' as he put it.
That morning was no
different from other days, except she was acutely aware of his critical eye
roving over her choice of clothes. Thankfully, she had a good idea of the type of
thing he'd likely deem 'appropriate.' She opted for a pair of nice pants and a
shirt, buttoned right up to her neck. She had no cleavage showing at all—no
part of her body was revealed that might tempt any
bad men
, or whoever he
thought was going to lead her astray.
As far as she was
concerned, he was being completely ridiculous and unnecessarily paranoid, but
it was easier just to go along with his wishes than to argue with him. She
hated arguing at the best of times and particularly hated arguing with Logan. He
nearly always overreacted, so she thought it was best to leave it alone
completely.
In her opinion, that was
better than making the atmosphere tense and unpleasant between them. It didn't
do her any harm to wear the clothes he'd prefer her to wear. That was her way
of thinking about the situation.
She checked her
appearance in the mirror, then turned around to face him to get his opinion of
her outfit.
“How do I look?” she asked,
giving him a catwalk style swirl.
“Perfect,” he smiled,
opening up his arms. “Come here and give me a kiss.”
She grinned and clambered
onto the bed with him. They kissed tenderly for a moment.
“I love you,” she
whispered.
“I love you, too. Have a
good day at work. Don’t forget to text me.”
“Okay,” she agreed…again.
She got up, grabbed her
bag and headed out. The taxi, which had been called ten minutes ago, was already
waiting for her outside.
***
The day at work passed quickly.
She spoke to Logan a couple of times during her breaks and managed to fit in a
few calls and emails about the evening out with her friends, between doing
actual work. She wanted to satisfy her boss so he knew she wasn’t slacking or falling
behind again. She still felt bad about that day when she'd let him down with an
important deadline.
Remembering Logan’s words
about his mistrust of others, she managed to persuade the girls to meet in a
small, modest corner bar near where she worked. It was within walking distance,
which was another stipulation of Logan’s. He didn’t want her to have to walk
too far. He'd also asked that she didn’t get a taxi unless it was from the
“trusted” company he called every morning to take her to work. Apparently, it
was run by a business acquaintance of his.
Charlotte passed the Blue
Moon Bar every workday. It was always quiet but seemed welcoming. Its clientele
were mainly professionals from the office buildings around the area. Therefore,
it wasn’t usually rowdy. It was the best of both worlds, close to work and
quiet, so she felt certain it would meet with Logan's standards.
She was pretty confident
she could pass a few hours socializing with her friends at the Blue Moon without
being bothered or hit on up by the hordes of men who Logan seemed to think would
want her body. The thought of that, although it seemed silly and paranoid, was
also sweet, in her eyes. He really did care about her. The fact that he'd had
two wives who'd both cheated on him, had to have affected his confidence in his
relationships. How could it not?
Indeed, when she arrived at
the bar just after five thirty, the place was completely empty save for the bartender
who was polishing up some glasses. She seemed pleased to see Charlotte as she
walked in, stopping what she was doing to give her a friendly smile.
“Good afternoon. What can
I get you?”
“Oh, um…a glass of chardonnay,
please,” she smiled back, approaching the bar.
Charlotte was quite early;
having arranged to meet her friends there at six, knowing it would take them
longer to travel there from their various workplaces. After getting her drink
and paying for it, she found a table in the corner, which wasn’t exactly
difficult in the empty bar. She sat down, took out her phone and sent a quick
text to Logan to let him know where she was and she'd arrived safely. She added
there was no one else there so he needn’t worry.
Sarah was the first to
arrive, followed by Louise and then finally Bethany, who turned up three
quarters of an hour late at a quarter to seven. That was hardly surprising. She
was always late. Charlotte predicted she’d be late for her own wedding.
“What was Australia
like?” Charlotte asked her excitedly, wanting to catch up and hear all about her
trip.
“It was wonderful,” she
gushed. “It was so great to see my parents again, you know. Harry was also brilliant.
Mom and Dad loved him.”
“That’s really great,”
Charlotte smiled. “Where's he tonight?”
“Who, Harry? Oh, I don’t
know, to be honest. I'd guess he's out with some friends or something. It’s
Friday night, isn’t it?”
“Logan doesn’t like when
we go out on our own,” explained Charlotte, finding it strange that Bethany and
Harry had such a different way of operating.
Having never really been
involved in any serious or long-term relationships before Logan, she'd just assumed
most couples had relationships similar to her own. At least, that was what
Logan had led her to believe.
“He likes us to always do
things together,” Charlotte said.
“Oh God, I couldn’t
handle that,” Bethany groaned.
“Me neither,” laughed
Louise. “Talk about suffocating.”
“It’s not suffocating,”
Charlotte defended Logan. “It’s nice. It’s great to spend time together when
you're really into each other.”
“Well yeah, it’s nice to
spend
some
time together,” said Sarah. “I mean, I love Kieron and I love
spending time with him, but if I had to spend
all
my time with him, I’d
go absolutely crazy. I’d probably end up killing him or something.”
They all laughed and
Bethany went to the bar to get drinks. By around eight o’clock, there were a
handful of people in the bar along with them. Yet, it remained relatively calm
and quiet throughout the rest of the evening.
“Why did you bring us to
such a dead place, Charlotte?” Louise finally complained. “There isn’t even any
music or anything.”
“Yeah, Charlotte,” Sarah
poked her in the arm teasingly. “This place is crappy.”
“Let’s go somewhere
else,” Bethany said boldly, jumping to her feet decisively.
“What? No,” Charlotte
began to protest in a slight panic, not knowing what she’d say to Logan if they
went somewhere else. He’d freak out. “I’m sure they have a sound system or a
jukebox or something. I'll ask them to put some music on.”
“There are like…five
people in here, Charlotte. On a Friday night. Come on; let’s go to a club or
something. We could go dancing,” Bethany insisted, grabbing her arm and tugging
her up to a standing position.
Charlotte got to her feet
hesitantly and took out her phone. She'd muted her phone when she'd entered the
bar and was alarmed to see she had four messages and two missed calls from
Logan. He was wondering where she was and whether she was all right, she hadn’t
texted him in over an hour. She fired off a quick message telling him she was
fine and they were still in the same place. Then she pocketed her phone as the
three girls began to march towards the exit, laughing and joking, looking
forward to heading somewhere else that might be livelier and more fun.
The decision to lie to
Logan about where she was didn’t come lightly to Charlotte. She’d never liked
lying and she hated the thought of deceiving him. However, when she'd weighed her
options, she knew she didn’t have much of a choice. If she’d told him they were
going to a club, he’d most likely be on the phone shouting, ranting or making
her feel guilty. He might just show up immediately and pick her up, telling her
she wasn’t safe and he was worried about her.
Either way, if she'd told
him the truth, she knew the atmosphere between them would be tense and he’d be
in a bad mood until she apologized and promised not to do it again. On top of
that, if she told him, she'd risk being subjected to an embarrassing scene
and/or possibly being bullied into going home.
Charlotte wasn’t ready to
go home yet. It had been too long since she’d seen her friends and she was
having such a great time. She hadn't socialized with anybody other than Logan
in what felt like forever. She needed tonight to unwind. The thought of going out
to a club with her friends, having a few more drinks and dancing, was
incredibly appealing. She really wanted to go.
Therefore, that was what
she chose to do. She continued to text Logan regularly throughout the night, to
let him know that she was okay. She didn't want him to worry about her. When
asked where she was, she continued to lie to him for the remainder of her
girls' night out. Despite the short leash she was on, as well as her deception,
she had a great time with her friends.
Much to her friends'
annoyance, she left the party early, heading off for home by eleven thirty.
That was the time she and Logan had agreed to. Besides, she knew if she stayed
out later than that, he'd know she’d been lying to him about where she was,
since the Blue Moon closed at eleven.
Logan was awake and
waiting for her on the sofa, just watching television. He turned it off when
she came through the door and invited her to sit down next to him.
“How was your evening?”
he asked, kissing her on the cheek. “You stink of alcohol.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve had some
drinks,” she gave him a tipsy smile and cozied up to him, actually feeling in
the mood, for once.
Much to her surprise, he
pushed her away and stood up, obviously uninterested in cuddling with her.
“I'm going to bed,” he
muttered, heading off upstairs.
Hurt and confused by his
rejection, she followed him up to the bedroom. Once there, she got undressed
and slipped into the four-poster beside him. He was unresponsive when she tried
to cuddle. He said nothing more to her that nigh,t and nothing more about her
girls' night out the next morning.
That night was never
spoken of again.
Charlotte assumed the
smell of alcohol on her breath had turned him off, since that's what he'd
spoken of so harshly, just before rejecting her and going to bed. She knew the
scent could be overpowering on someone when you hadn’t been drinking yourself,
like garlic. She'd tried not to take it to heart.
It was ironic for the
first time in so long, she was really looking forward to having sex. Of course,
it just so happened to be the
only
night Logan hadn't wanted to make
love, since she'd moved in with him. It was seriously unfortunate, especially
since he would've reaped the benefits of her amorous mood as much as she
would've.
However, despite the
unpleasant end to Friday night, they wound up spending a pleasant weekend
together. It was as if the entire girls' night out had never happened.
On Monday, she returned
to work, looking forward to her friend's wedding the following weekend.
Charlotte was quite happy
she'd managed to have a quiet word with Bethany over the course of their Friday
evening out. She was able to secure an invitation for Logan to the wedding. Her
friends were all very excited to meet him. Although, as far as Charlotte was
concerned, they'd already been overly critical of his behavior, as well as some
aspects of their relationship.
Charlotte had stood up
for Logan when the girls had been judgmental or negative about him. She told
them what they chose to do was between her and Logan; it wasn’t really any of
their business. She explained she and Logan loved each other very much. Although,
if she was to be honest with herself, somewhere in the back of her mind, she
understood they had a point.
However, she'd always
been flattered by his attention. She realized everyone was different, as are
their relationships. None of them would've chosen any of the other girl's
partners as her own. Charlotte had always seen Logan's protectiveness and
clinginess as being a sign of the depth of his love for her. She just chalked
it up to an example of 'different strokes for different folks.' Most of the
time, she enjoyed being with Logan. It had only been an inconvenience on a few
occasions.
Charlotte brought the
issue up with him, very casually, on the following Tuesday evening, over dinner
at the house. Logan had made a delicious curry that night. It was one of his specialties,
and they both loved it. His curry was hot, rich and full of spices, warming her
stomach mouthful by mouthful.
“My friend Bethany and her
fiancé Harry do all kinds of things separately,” she said tentatively. “She was
telling me about it. They're relationship is quite different from how we do
things.”
“What do you mean?” he
asked, his fork pausing half way between his plate and his mouth, as he looked
across the table at her.
“I mean…sometimes he’ll
go out with his friends and she’ll go out somewhere else. Neither one of them even
know where the other one's going or what they’re up to. They don’t even text
each other or keep in touch when they have other plans. They just meet up
afterwards, back at home, and tell each other about their evening. They just kind
of…trust each other not to do anything they wouldn't approve of. It seems to
work perfectly well for them. They're quite happy.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he
scoffed.
“Why?” she asked.
“Well, they obviously don’t
love each other,” he said. Logan sounded so sure of his claim.
“Actually, they do,
Logan,” she protested quietly. “I mean, they’re crazy about each other and they're
about to get married. They wouldn’t get married if they didn’t love each other,
would they? Louise said it would drive her mad if she spent all her time with
her boyfriend, and Sarah said it sounded 'suffocating.'”
“What do
you
think?” Logan asked her coolly, his deep blue eyes locked with hers, the fork
still motionless in the air between his plate and mouth, not having moved an
inch.
The intensity of his
stare made her nervous.
“I don’t mind,” she
shrugged. “…the way we do things. I just…I just wanted you to know it doesn’t
have
to be like that all the time. Not everyone lives that way, and they still
love each other just as much as we do.”
“No, they don’t,” he shook
his head; finally moving his hand. He placed the fork back on the plate with a
clatter.
“Nobody loves each other
as much as we do, and if they want to spend time apart, that just proves it.
One of them is obviously having an affair or something.”
He scraped his chair back
from the table and stalked upstairs irritably, slamming the bedroom door behind
him.
Charlotte sat at the
table on her own and sighed. Now she regretted bringing up the subject up at
all. They'd been having a perfectly good evening. Now Logan's meal was left
half eaten on his abandoned plate and the portion she'd consumed seemed to
churn uncomfortably in her stomach. She felt guilty about causing another
falling out between them. She shook her head and stood up, determined to make
things right between them.
She found him with his
back to the door, lying on the bed sulking. Charlotte slid in beside him,
snuggled up to him and kissed the base of his neck. She felt him tense ever so
briefly and then relax.
"You're right,"
she whispered quietly. "I don't think anyone could love each other as much
as we do."
Those words sounded
strange coming from her lips. They just didn't ring true. They weren't her style.
Charlotte was never a great believer in love—well, not the type of love that was
written about in poetry, love songs or romance novels, anyway. She'd never been
and probably never would feel anything like that, but she did love Logan.
Didn’t
she?
In the relatively short
time they'd been together, she'd gotten to know the type of words, phrases and
actions that appeased Logan when he was in one of his moods—how to smooth
everything over, make things go back to normal. She told him what he needed to
hear, whenever he needed to hear it. Gradually, she became so used to these
little white lies that she could barely distinguish between what was true and
what wasn't anymore.
"I don't want things
to change between us," she told him. "Things are perfect the way they
are," she said, hoping to pull him out of his mood.
This was another lie she became
more aware of as she said it. In truth, she'd have enjoyed having the freedom
to see her friends more often. She'd love to be trusted enough to go out
whenever she wanted. She'd also appreciate not having to feel she needed to
text Logan every half hour, worry about telling him of her plans, being paranoid
over what she'd wear or what he'd think. These things were all sources of
stress for her.
She didn't believe these
desires meant she loved Logan any less or that their relationship wasn't as
strong as Bethany and Harry's. Hell, it was obvious they loved each other. But
in reality, she knew Logan was set in his ways, and he wasn't likely to change.
She believed that attempting to force him to change, would simply result in unhappiness
for both of them.
She didn't mind making these
small sacrifices for the sake of their relationship. Charlotte knew Logan was
rather insecure, needy and clingy, in this way. He needed these things from
her. She cared enough about his happiness, to give him what he needed.
***
When the day of Bethany's
wedding had finally arrived, Charlotte was excited and in a good mood. Logan
was less so. He seemed nervous and on edge, probably about meeting her friends.
Unless he was afraid guys might hit on her there, in front of him.
"You'll be fine,
Logan. I'm happy I finally get to show off my gorgeous boyfriend," she
assured him in the back of the taxi on the way to the church. "You're very
easy to get along with and a great conversationalist. They'll love you, for
sure."
He gave her a small smile
in return and took out his phone, sending off a text message. She never knew
what he did on his phone, who he texted, or spoke to or anything he talked or
texted about. She only knew he'd asked her not to look at it.
Logan had two phones: one
for personal use and one for business. A couple of weeks ago, he'd gotten a
text on his work phone. To be nice, she'd picked it up and brought it to him
from the kitchen to the living room. She'd thought he'd appreciate it. Boy was
she was wrong.
He'd reacted surprisingly
with anger to what had been a kind gesture on her part. He'd snatched the phone
out of her hand and snapped at her. He'd told her the calls and messages he
received were extremely private and confidential, and she was never to look at
them.
She'd never attempted to
or intended to invade his privacy. The thought that he might be hiding the
phone in order to cover up an affair or something else that might hurt her had
never occurred to her. He just didn’t seem as if he'd do such a thing. She
completely trusted he loved her too much to betray her like that.
Charlotte assumed his
secrecy had something to do with this mysterious job of his he consistently
refused to speak of. She started to wonder if he was some kind of government
secret agent, sworn to secrecy. She could easily imagine him in that type of
role and it was a fun little fantasy that amused her. She enjoyed picturing him
going off on various adventures to protect the interests of the country.
Therefore, when he got
his phone out in the car, she was careful not to look over his shoulder or ask
him what he was doing. She simply fell silent and left him alone to do as he
must, for a few moments. He sent a few quick messages then put it back in his
pocket and reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as they both looked
out of the window for the remainder of the journey to the church.
***
The service was beautiful
and heart-warming, with touching readings from Bethany’s sister and Harry’s
best man. Afterwards, the reception was held in the main hall of a large hotel
in the center of town. That was where they had the chance to meet and spend
time with the other wedding guests. This was when Charlotte’s friends finally
got to meet Logan for the first time.
Charlotte briefly left
his side to get them drinks from the bar while Logan hovered hesitantly near
the door, looking rather uncomfortable and not very approachable. He was
obviously texting again, doing business on his phone and typing obsessively…yet
again. Bethany approached her when she was alone.
“Is that him? Is that the
infamous Logan we've heard so much about?” she grinned, pointing over at Logan.
“Yeah, that’s him, in the
flesh,” replied Charlotte, kissing her friend on the cheek.
“That was such a lovely
wedding. I love your dress, you look so beautiful,” Charlotte said with genuine
emotion.
“Yeah? Yeah, it was.
Thank you.” She blushed, looking very much like a happy bride.
“God, I was so nervous. After
all the time we spent looking forward to this big day. It kind of got to me.
Too much build up, you know? It was a bit too much anticipation, too much
stress. All of the arrangements and everything. Hell, I was just trying not to
trip over my feet as I walked down the aisle! I thought I might do a face plant
or maybe fall on my ass in front of everyone! I'm actually glad it’s over. Now,
I can finally relax and have a few drinks.” She giggled and then waved at Harry
who was drinking with his best man.
“Oh Charlotte, you
should've seen him. He was a big bag of nerves, too. I’m surprised we even got
through the vows,” Bethany admitted.
“You both did a great
job, really. It was lovely. Do you want to come over and finally meet Logan?” Charlotte
asked.
“Yeah, definitely! Wait,
should I go get Sarah and Louise?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Let’s
not gang up on him or scare him too much. He's pretty nervous being here today,”
she smiled, linking her arm with Bethany’s and walking her over to him standing
by the door.
She handed Logan his
drink, and said, “Here you are, love. This is my very good friend, Bethany.
Well, I guess you must already know who she is, since you just watched her get
married.”
She laughed self-consciously
at her own awkwardness. Charlotte was also a bit nervous. She really wanted her
friends to like Logan. It was important to her, especially after them being so
negative and judgmental about their relationship.
“Yes, indeed.
Congratulations on your marriage,” Logan smiled, bowing his head towards her politely.
He offered her his hand like a gentleman. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,
Bethany. Charlotte’s always talking about you and the girls, saying how great
you are.”
“Oh, she is?” Bethany
giggled a bit and took his hand for a quick shake. “It’s nice to meet you, as
well. She’s always talking about you, too.”
“That’s good to hear,”
Logan said quietly, glancing at Charlotte.
The conversation was polite,
short and sweet. Logan was at his darkly handsome and charming best. Of course,
Bethany, being the bride and the hostess of the event, was in great demand. So
many people she needed to greet and talk to at the reception that she could
barely stay and chat for five minutes. She said her goodbyes and moved on.
“Well, what did you think
of her? I told you she’d like you. All of my friends will. What's not to like?
You're so charming. Hey, want me to introduce you to the others?” She took his
hand and was about to lead him away from the entrance when he pulled her back.
“Wait,” he said. “I want
to talk to you.”
“Oh okay. About what?”
Charlotte frowned a little, slightly concerned by his quiet, serious tone. When
he spoke like that, it usually meant she’d done something wrong or he was about
to get moody.
“About
our
wedding,”
Logan said.
She balked, completely stunned
by the unexpected subject. She certainly hadn’t been expecting
that.
“Our…” Charlotte's voice
faded away quickly.
She couldn’t even repeat
the word; she was still in a complete state of shock.