Change (The Shape Shifter Series) (21 page)

“Right,” Baz said, relieved. “Gunward, we'd like to hear your story, and after that we'll discuss the consequences. We'll try to be as fair as we can, but if you're not happy with the decision you can always take it to the high council.”

“I think we're wasting our time then,” Gunward snorted. “We all know you can't ignore the fact that I attacked your family. How about you just say you'll exile me and I take this straight to the high ones?”

Sofia sighed and rubbed her temples. “That's not necessary,” she said. She knew that if Gunward took this matter to the high council she would lose. The high council was made up of ancient shape shifters around the world, and even though her parents were part of it, it wouldn't help. They couldn't defend her there. Heck, they were probably not even allowed to participate in the meeting. The law was clear, and it was the same for all of them. Wolves, whether they were regular animals or spiced up with shifting abilities, were monogamous. If her partner was dead they might consider an exception, but as her situation was what it was, they would have no mercy on her. She swallowed. She could almost picture the high council meeting in her head. Gunward would tell them what she had done, not that they didn't know that already, and then they would ask if he was still willing to have his deceitful spouse. If he said no, they would exile her. Or even worse, they could make her vanish. If he said yes, they would order her to leave her family, and if they were compassionate that would do. If not … well … they would destroy everything important to her.

She glanced at Gunward. He seemed to know exactly what was in her mind and she knew there was no way he would admit
to his crimes. She opened her mouth, but his eyes flashed in warning and she closed it before saying a word. His eyes seemed to laugh at her and she felt both angry and sad. Angry because he obviously thought this whole meeting was ridiculous and would take them nowhere, and sad because a tiny part of her heart was still hoping they could sort everything out and come up with a solution that would satisfy them all.

She lowered her gaze to her hands and exhaled deeply before lifting her eyes again and meeting his. “I didn't want this to happen,” she said quietly and felt tears filling her eyes, as she really meant what she said. “I was okay and even more than okay with the fact we'd be together eventually. Why couldn't you just wait?”

“I planned to, but I couldn't.” Gunward got up and started to walk back and forth. “I really did, but my mind failed. In the day I managed all right. I kept myself busy. But at night I suffered. I couldn't help thinking of you and him. I couldn't clear my mind no matter how hard I tried, and sometimes I touched your mind just to make sure the connection between us was still there.”

“Was it?” Sofia whispered, but she already knew the answer. Of course it was. She had felt his touch in her mind. She had cherished the thought that he was with her all the time and she had done nothing to stop him. Her eyes melted into his as she pressed her hand onto her trembling lips.

“You know it was,” he said quietly. “You allowed me to touch your mind. Ignoring the pain it cost me. I felt you, but you were never alone. I felt him, too, and through your dreams I could share your life. Share your feelings when he touched you, when he held you in his arms. It killed me! You chose him over and over again and there was nothing I could do but wait. Nothing to ease the torture.”

“I'm sorry.” She was crying openly now. “I'm so sorry. I felt you and I should've stopped you, but I didn't. You're right. I can't be a part of this council, as I'm as guilty as you are.” She glanced around with pain so raw in her eyes that it brought tears to some of the elders’ eyes. “I'm sorry, but you have to judge me, too.”

The elders were confused. This was a strange situation, as they knew they had overlooked Sofia's actions. They should've made her return to Gunward before she met David, but they couldn't ignore the fact that she had managed to give birth to two totally different kinds of shape shifter. Some may think Sofia's offspring with a human were freaks, but the elders knew better. In a changing world they were no freaks, but just different forms of shape shifters, and they simply couldn't bypass that.

Faol took a sharp breath. “If you're guilty, I am, too. I made them look away. This bizarre situation would never have been born without
me and your father. The elders did demand you return to Gunward's side, but I ... no … we persuaded them to leave you alone. It's our fault as much as it is yours.”

Baz nodded and leaned to touch his partner's hand.

A small, graceful woman rose. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she stroked her cardigan with her fragile hands and lifted her face. “So, what shall we do?” She seemed to be talking to herself. “We have a strong shape shifter couple here and a lot of anger and pain between them. If we let Sofia continue her play with this human, Gunward will never stop this madness, not if we don't force him to vanish. And to be honest, I don’t think we have enough power to do that. If we force Sofia back to Gunward, she will use every second of her immortal life trying to escape or mourning for her family. Besides, we'd have to deal with these newborn shape shifters, too. And they are way too interesting to destroy.” She opened her eyes and stared at Gunward and Sofia. “So we have a lose-lose situation here. Think for a moment. What do you really want? Don't answer me right now, but search your heart, and after that I want to hear from both of you.”

Sofia got up and opened her mouth, stunned.

“Shh, think before you talk,” the woman said and sat down. “Baz, my dear, while we wait, would you mind making me some tea?”

Baz nodded, surprised. “Of course, Ealasaid. I'll be back in a minute.”

“No need to hurry, dear friend.” Ealasaid smiled with laughing eyes.

Sofia bit her lower lip. She stared curiously at the older woman. She had heard about her before.
An old shape shifter with manners better than the queen herself. A strong woman who had a very close relationship with some of the members of the high council. She hadn't seen her before, and rumor had it she spent most of the time at her villa in southern France. But for some reason she was here now and she couldn’t be overlooked. Sofia sighed. Okay, now was the time to be smart. She didn't want to be judged by the high council. She knew what would happen. So this woman, Ealasaid, had offered her a way out, if only she could figure out what it was.

Could she forget everything Gunward had done? And what had he actually done? He had agitated most of the shape shifters against humans. He had scared the elders and managed to fool some of them into leaving this place. He had replaced the ones who were left with his people, people like Erag and Liam. He had nurtured the anger so that almost everyone had wanted to destroy her family. The list was long, but had he harmed her? No. He had actually saved Marie from Isabel's jealous claws, and as she had said before, she wasn't that innocent either. So what should she do? She secretly eyed Gunward. He seemed to be battling with the same questions. He lifted his head and his eyes met hers, weakening her knees. Was this a stalemate situation or could they move on? He moved closer to her. She licked her lips nervously. Don't touch
me, don't touch me, she begged in her mind. He put his hand on her cheek.

Every reasonable thought slipped from her mind. She was connected to him and all she had to do was move a bit and their lips would meet. Her eyes blurred. Gunward traced the lines of her cheekbones, ending up at her lips and sending a thrill around her body with his every touch. She had to stop this, her mind screamed, but she did nothing. Her lips parted slightly and she felt his warm breath on her skin.

“Interesting,” a voice said, making Sofia refocus.

She backed away and shook her fuzzy head.

Ealasaid laughed brightly. “We leave you close to each other for a second and you can't keep your hands to yourselves.”

“You fooled us!” Sofia accused. “I know now what you are, and that was not fair!”

“You're right, my child, but I had to make you see his heart just as much as he needed to see yours,” Ealasaid said gently.

“But you can control our feelings; that's your gift. How can I know what's real and what's not?” Sofia almost cried.

“Do you really think I could control your feelings?” Ealasaid said and sipped the tea Baz had brought her. “You're both too strong for me. I only pushed you a little and made you see what you needed to see. Was that so wrong?”

“I belong to David,” Sofia whispered desperately and buried her face in her hands.

“Maybe now,” Ealasaid said compassionately. “But there will come a time when you will listen to your heart and you will be Gunward's again.”

Sofia shook her head, terrified to her guts, and whispered
, “No.”

“Oh, yes. Your heart is already his. Sofia, my dear, you are his soulmate and no one can come between you,” Ealasaid sighed. “I tried that once and it didn't work.”

“You have a soulmate?” Gunward asked, stunned.

“We all have,” Ealasaid said sadly. “Unfortunately, though, mine is dead.”

“But that can't be!” Sofia cried. “What happened? Was he exiled or something?”

“No,” Ealasaid said with a hint of steel in her voice. “He was human. So I know how precious time can be, and I know for certain that this David is not your soulmate. Sofia, dear, don't fool yourself. You know as we all do that you can only have one soulmate. In fact, you should be happy you found him. Not all of us do.”

Gunward looked pleased and Ealasaid regarded at him. “Don't look like a cat on a cream plate, young man! If you could see her heart like I do, you would understand how deeply she loves that human, and she can't ignore that!”

“So what do we do?” Faol said wearily. “Should we just go on like before and forget everything?”

“Of course not!” Ealasaid snapped. She pointed at Gunward. “You put brother against brother for selfish reasons. You were ready to clear all obstacles necessary to get Sofia, and that is unforgivable.”

Gunward lowered his head and got ready for the strike.

“But as was said before,” Ealasaid continued. “We are all guilty for what happened. So my suggestion is we'll exile Gunward to Sarek. He can take his supporters with him, if they're willing to go. He has to stay there as long as this David lives, and not until he dies can he approach Sofia again. And you, Sofia, we'll exile you to your hometown. You'll have to stay there as long as you're willing to share your life with a human. However, this doesn't concern your daughters. They are free to come and go as they please. We will teach them and help them the best we can, and we will send some of our people to your home, but you're not allowed to come back here. Not before you're ready to accept your destiny. Would that be okay?”

The elders around her nodded, seeming pleased, but Sofia looked confused. How would this change the situation? And what guarantee did she have that Gunward wouldn't break their agreement like before? She got
up, ready to talk, but Faol silenced her with her eyes.

Ealasaid sighed. “Very well, then. However, there is something you both have to do.”

Sofia's mind was alerted. Gunward froze.

“You can't use any mind contact between each other during your exile,” Ealasaid breathed. She held her hand high as the room filled with noise. “I know, I know. There is no way to break the bond between you, but you have to promise you'll at least try.”

Sofia felt her heart breaking and dug the ground with her toe. Her ears were ringing and her mind tried to assimilate what she had just heard.

A strong hand took hers. Gunward was standing next to her, staring into her eyes. “I can do that,” he said with his low, raw voice. “As long as I know I don't have to lose you forever.”

“I can do that, too,” Sofia whispered. “After all, it's what I wanted in the first place.”

“Right,” Gunward nodded with extreme pain in his eyes.

Baz let out a relieved breath. “Okay, then. I assume you'll leave as soon as possible, and we'll send Sofia home as soon as Marie is better.”

Gunward was having
a hard time breathing. He lifted Sofia's hand to his lips and pressed a warm kiss upon it. “Till we meet again, mo gaol.”

“Goodbye, Gunward,” Sofia whispered and tried to blink the tears away.

Gunward looked at the others and nodded.

Sofia closed her eyes, and when she opened them again he was gone.

The healing cave was almost empty. Most of the shape shifters had retired to their burrows to lick their wounds, and besides Sofia's pack there was only a couple of elders talking quietly next to the fire
. Marie lay on the ground. Sofia was sitting next to her, petting her head.

“
You know you could change back anytime you like,”
her voice whispered in Marie's mind.

Deep inside Marie knew her mom was right, but she was scared. Somehow she liked being a wolf. It was so free from all the human troubles and
, to be honest, she really enjoyed her new abilities. As a wolf she could see much clearer than a human. And not only by day but also by night. Her hearing was clearer and she could separate the tiniest voices from afar, and sometimes she didn't even have to look to know who was coming, as she could smell them way before she could see them. And even without her new skills she was happier now. She hadn't had a single seizure after changing, and that said a lot. So maybe she was meant to be a wolf and being born as a human had been one terrible mistake. She thought about the plus sides of being human and compared them with being a wolf. The only thing she would miss was hugging. Yes, definitely that. There was nothing compared to the feeling she got when she embraced someone she loved, but she could live without that, too. So, no. There was no reason for her to change back.