Changeless: The Parasol Protectorate: Book the Second (5 page)

The Bureau of Unnatural Registry was not situated, as many a confused tourist expected, in the vicinity of Whitehall. It was
in a small, unassuming Georgian building just off Fleet Street, near the
Times
offices. Lord Maccon had made the switch ten years ago, when he discovered that it was the press, not the government, that
generally had a handle on what was truly transpiring around the city—political or otherwise. This particular evening, he had
cause to regret his decision, as he now had to make his way through the commercial district as well as several crowded thoroughfares
in order to get to his office.

He almost managed the trek without being seen, skulking through the grubby streets and around the mud-spattered corners—London’s
finest back alleys. It was quite the feat, as the streets were crawling with soldiers. Fortunately, they were intent on celebrating
their recent return to London and not his large white form. But he was spotted by the most unexpected individual, near St.
Bride, the unfragrant scent of Fleet Street in the air.

A toff of the highest water, dressed to the nines in a lovely cut-front jacket and stunning lemon-yellow cravat tied in the
Osbaldeston style, materialized out of the darkness behind a brewing pub, where no toff had a right to be. The man doffed
his top hat amiably at the naked werewolf.

“Why, I do declare, if it isn’t Lord Maccon. How
do
you do? Fancy, aren’t we a tad underdressed for an evening’s stroll?” The voice was mildly familiar and laced with amusement.

“Biffy,” said the earl on a growl.

“And how is your lovely wife?” Biffy was a drone of reputation, and his vampire master, Lord Akeldama, was a dear friend of
Alexia’s. Much to Lord Maccon’s annoyance. So, come to think of it, was Biffy. Last time the drone had visited Woolsey Castle
with a message from his master, he and Alexia had spent hours discussing the latest hairstyles out of Paris. His wife had
a penchant for gentlemen of the frivolous persuasion. Conall paused to deduce what that said about his own character.

“Hang my lovely wife,” he answered. “Get into that tavern there and wrestle me up a coat of some kind, would you?”

Biffy arched an eyebrow at him. “You know, I would offer you my coat, but it’s a swallowtail, hardly useful, and would never
fit that colossal frame of yours anyway.” He gave the earl a long, appraising look. “Well, well, isn’t my master going to
be all of a crumble for not having seen this?”

“Your impossible patron has seen me naked already.”

Biffy tapped his bottom lip with a fingertip and looked intrigued.

“Oh for goodness’ sake, you were there,” said Lord Maccon, annoyed.

Biffy only smiled.

“A cloak.” A pause, then the added grumble of, “Please!”

Biffy vanished and returned with alacrity, bearing an oilskin greatcoat of ill design and briny smell but that was at least
large enough to cover the earl’s indignities.

The Alpha shrugged it on and then glared at the still-smiling drone. “I smell like parboiled seaweed.”

“Navy’s in town.”

“So, what do you know of this madness?” Biffy might be a pink, and his vampire master even more so, but Lord Akeldama was
also London’s main busybody, and he ran his ring of impeccably clad informants so efficiently it put anything the government
could muster to shame.

“Eight regiments came into port yesterday: the Black Scotts, Northumberland, the Coldsteam Guards—”Biffy was pointedly obtuse.

Lord Maccon interrupted him. “Not that—the mass exorcism.”

“Mmm,
that
. That is why I was waiting for you.”

“Of course you were,” sighed Lord Maccon.

Biffy stopped smiling. “Shall we walk, my lord?” He took up position next to the werewolf, who was no werewolf at all anymore,
and they strode together toward Fleet Street. The earl’s bare feet made no noise on the cobbles.

“What!” The amazed exclamation emanated from not one, but two sources: Alexia
and
the heretofore forgotten Tunstell. The claviger had sat down behind the corner of the stoop to nurse the results of Major
Channing’s discipline.

Upon hearing Miss Hisselpenny’s news, however, the gangly actor reappeared. He was sporting a large red mark about the right
eye, which was destined to darken in a most colorful manner, and was pinching his nose to stanch the flow of blood. Both Alexia’s
handkerchief and his own cravat appeared much the worse for the experience.

“Engaged, Miss Hisselpenny?” In addition to his disheveled aspect, Tunstell was looking quite tragic, in a Shakespearean comedy
kind of way. From behind the handkerchief, his eyes were wide in distress. Tunstell had been mighty taken with Miss Hisselpenny
ever since they danced together at Lord and Lady Maccon’s wedding, but they had not been allowed to mingle socially since.
Miss Hisselpenny was a lady of consequence, and Tunstell was but a lowly claviger and an actor to boot. Alexia had not comprehended
the extent of his attachment. Or perhaps the attachment meant more now that it was no longer possible.

“To whom?” Lady Maccon asked the obvious question.

Ivy ignored her and dashed to Tunstell’s side.

“You are injured!” she gasped, bunches of grapes and silk strawberries bobbing about. She pulled out her own minuscule handkerchief,
embroidered with small clusters of cherries, and dabbed at his face unhelpfully.

“A mere scratch, Miss Hisselpenny, I assure you,” said Tunstell, looking pleased by her ministrations, as ineffectual as they
may be.

“But you are bleeding, simply gouts and gouts of it,” insisted Ivy.

“Not to worry, not to worry, the business end of a fist will do that to a person, you know.”

Ivy gasped. “Fisticuffs! Oh, how
perfectly
horrid! Poor Mr. Tunstell.” Ivy petted an unbloodied corner of the man’s cheek with her white-gloved hand.

Poor Mr. Tunstell did not seem to mind, if this was the result. “Oh, please, do not trouble yourself so,” he said, leaning
into her caress. “My, what an enchanting hat, Miss Hisselpenny, so”—he hesitated, searching for the right word—“fruity.”

Ivy blushed beet red at that. “Oh, do you like it? I bought it specially.”

That did it. “Ivy,” said Alexia sharply, bringing her friend back around to the important business at hand. “To whom have
you gotten yourself engaged, exactly?”

Miss Hisselpenny snapped back to the present, drifting away from the alluring Mr. Tunstell. “His name is Captain Featherstonehaugh,
and he has just returned with the Northumberling Fusilli, all the way from Inja.”

“You mean the Northumberland Fusiliers.”

“Is that not what I just said?” Ivy was all big-eyed innocence and excitement.

The dewan’s army reshuffling clearly involved far more regiments than Alexia had thought. She would have to find out what
the queen and her commanders were about at the Shadow Council meeting.

The meeting she was now inexcusably late for.

Miss Hisselpenny continued. “It is not a bad match, although Mama would have preferred a major at the very least. But you
know”—she lowered her voice to almost a whisper—“I haven’t really the luxury of choice at my age.”

Tunstell looked quite put out upon hearing that. He thought Miss Hisselpenny a grand catch, older than he to be sure, but
imagine her having to settle on a mere captain. He opened his mouth to say so but showed unexpected restraint upon receipt
of a high-stakes glare from his mistress.

“Tunstell,” instructed Lady Maccon, “go away and be useful. Ivy, felicitations on your impending nuptials, but I really must
be off. I have an important meeting, for which I am now late.”

Ivy was watching Tunstell’s retreating back. “Of course, Captain Featherstonehaugh was not exactly what I had hoped for. He
is quite the military man, you understand, very stoic. That kind of thing would seem to suit you, Alexia, but I had hoped
for a man with the soul of a bard.”

Alexia threw her hands up into the air. “
He
is a claviger. You know what that means? Someday, relatively soon, he will petition for metamorphosis and then probably die
in the attempt. Even if he came through intact, he would then be a werewolf. You don’t even
like
werewolves.”

Ivy gave her an even-wider-eyed look as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. The grapes bobbed. “He could always leave before
that.”

“To be what? A professional actor? Living on a penny a day and the approbation of a fickle public?”

Ivy sniffed. “Who says we are discussing Mr. Tunstell?”

Alexia was driven to distraction. “Get into the carriage, Ivy. I shall take you back to town.”

Miss Hisselpenny nattered on about her impending marriage and its companion apparel, invitation list, and comestibles for
the entirety of the two-hour ride into London. Not much was said, however, about the prospective groom. Alexia was made to
realize, during the course of that drive, that he apparently was of little consequence to the proceedings. She watched her
friend climb down and trot inside the Hisselpenny’s modest town house with a slight pang of concern. What was Ivy doing? But
with no time at the moment to worry over Miss Hisselpenny’s
situation
, Lady Maccon directed the driver on to Buckingham.

The guards were expecting her. Lady Maccon was always at the palace two hours after dark on Sundays and Thursdays without
fail. And she was one of the most unproblematic of the queen’s regular visitors, being the least high-and-mighty, for all
her forthright tone and pointed opinions. After the first two weeks, she had even gone to the trouble of learning all of their
names. It was the little things that made someone grand. The ton were suspicious of Lord Maccon’s choice, but the military
was rather pleased with it. They welcomed straightforward talk, even from a female.

“You are late, Lady Maccon,” said one, checking her neck for bite marks and her dispatch case for illegal steam devices.

“Don’t I know it, Lieutenant Funtington, don’t I know it,” replied the lady.

“Well, we shan’t keep you. Go on in, my lady.”

Lady Maccon gave him a tight smile and went.

The dewan and the potentate were already waiting for her. Queen Victoria was not. The queen usually arrived nearer to midnight,
after presiding over her family and supper, and stayed only to hear the results of their debate and formulate any final decisions.

“I cannot apologize enough for having kept you both,” said Alexia. “I had unexpected squatters on my front lawn and an equally
unexpected engagement to handle this evening. No excuses, I know, but those are my reasons.”

“Well, there you have it,” snarled the dewan, “The affairs of the British Empire must wait on squatters and your good graces.”
Landed as the Earl of Upper Slaughter but without any real country seat, the dewan was one of the few werewolves in England
who could give the Earl of Woolsey a fight for his fur and had had occasion to prove it. He was almost as big as Conall Maccon
but slightly older-looking, with dark hair, a wide face, and deep-set eyes. He ought to have been handsome, except that his
mouth was a little too full, the cleft in his chin a little too pronounced, and his mustache and muttonchops astonishingly
assertive.

Alexia had spent long hours wondering over that mustache. Werewolves did not grow hair, as they did not age. Where had it
come from? Had he always had it? For how many centuries had his poor abused upper lip labored under the burden of such vegetation?

Tonight, however, she ignored both him and his facial protuberances. “So,” she said, sitting down and placing the dispatch
case on the table next to her, “shall we on to business?”

“By all means,” replied the potentate, his voice honeyed and cool. “Are you feeling well this evening, muhjah?”

Alexia was surprised by the question. “Quite.”

The vampire member of the Shadow Council was the more dangerous of the two. He had age on his side and much less to prove
than the dewan. Also, while the dewan made a show of disliking Lady Maccon for form’s sake, Alexia knew for a fact that the
potentate actually loathed her. He had registered an official complaint in writing on the occasion of her marriage to the
Woolsey Pack Alpha and the same again when Queen Victoria brought her in to sit on the Shadow Council. Alexia had never discerned
exactly why. But he had the support of the hives in this as in most things, which made him far more powerful than the dewan,
for whom pack loyalty seemed wobbly.

“No stomach ailments?”

Alexia gave the vampire a suspicious look. “No, none. Could we get on?”

Generally, the Shadow Council administered supernatural interaction with the Crown. While BUR handled enforcement, the Shadow
Council dealt with legislative issues, political and military guidance, and the occasional sticky-residue snafu. During Alexia’s
few months on board, discussions had ranged from hive authorization in the African provinces, to military code covering the
death of an Alpha overseas, to neck-exposure mandates in public museums. They had not yet had a genuine crisis to deal with.
This, Alexia felt, was going to be interesting.

She snapped open the lid of her dispatch case and extracted her harmonic auditory resonance disruptor, a spiky little apparatus
that looked exactly like two tuning forks sticking out of a crystal. She tapped one fork with her finger, waited a moment,
and then tapped the other. The two produced a discordant, low-pitched humming noise, amplified by the crystal that would prevent
their conversation from being overheard. She placed the device carefully in the middle of the massive meeting table. The sound
was annoying, but they had all learned to deal with it. Even inside the security of Buckingham Palace, one could never be
too careful.

“What, exactly, has happened in London this evening? Whatever it was had my husband up scandalously early, just after sunset,
and my local ghost informant in a positive fluster.” Lady Maccon removed her favorite little notebook and a stylographic pen
imported from the Americas.

“You do not know, muhjah?” sneered the dewan.