Charley Davidson 01Bis For I Have Sinned (3 page)

He eased closer. “Stop me.”

She put a hand on his chest and he covered it with one of his own, a beseeching look in his eye, as though begging her. But she pushed him away and he vanished once again with a devilish grin, leaving a shadowy fog in his wake.

“What are you doing?” Charley’s friend asked. She was walking down the hallway toward us, a piece of paper in her hand.

“Oh,” Charley said, recovering, “I was…There was a bug.”

The nurse looked around. “And you were nudging it away?” When Charley just shrugged and closed her phone, her friend handed her the paper. “A woman died last night at St. Joseph’s hospital. She was pregnant.”

My heartbeat skyrocketed as Charley studied the paper. Or I think it did. Did I have a heartbeat?

“Do you have a time of death?” Charley asked.

“Nothing exact. Sometime early this morning.”

“Got it.” After scanning the paper again, Charley said, “Well, I guess I’m off to St. Joseph’s. Thanks for the help.”

“Thanks for the mocha latte,” the nurse replied, pulling Charley into a hug. “And someday you are going to tell me what all this was about.”

“Someday,” she agreed, grinning at me over the woman’s shoulder.

We made our way across town to St. Joseph’s, neither of us saying much. The parking lot was deserted as light was just now cresting the horizon. But it was a light I could see, colorful and magnificent. Natural. We went inside and found the nurse’s contact, an RN named Jillian Lightfoot. Charley introduced herself and asked about me, claiming she’d been a friend of mine and had been worried sick.

“I’m not sure if it’s the same woman. What’s your friend’s name?”

Crap. I hadn’t thought of that. I looked over at Charley as she clenched the paper in her hand and cast a furtive glance my way before saying, “Jo. Jo Montgomery.”

That was my name! I recognized it instantly. I touched my chest, my face in remembrance. I was Jo Anne Montgomery.

Charley looked over at me and smiled sadly.

“That’s her,” the nurse said. “I’m so sorry for you loss. The family is here as well.”

“Can I see them?” Charley asked.

“Well,” she hedged, not sure what to do. “It’s still early. I don’t think anyone will mind that you’re not related, but I’ll have to ask them first. They’re with the baby.”

I stilled as everything came crashing back like a title wave of emotion.

Charley seemed to sense my distress. “I would appreciate that,” she said to the nurse, then laced a hand into mine and coaxed me into a nearby bathroom. “I’ll be right out,” she called before closing the door. Then she turned to me as I sank to the floor, knelt beside me as I could no longer hold my own weight, sparse as it was.

“Are you okay, hon?” she asked, her voice soft and soothing.

“I was falling,” I said, piecing together the last minutes of my life. “I knew something was wrong and I reached out for my phone, but I fell, blacked out. I don’t remember anything else.”

“Someone must have found you,” she said. “Were you at home?”

“Yes. Wait, no. I’d moved in with my parents. My mother!” I shouted, worry flooding every ghostly molecule of my being. “She’ll be so upset.”

I started crying, sobbing so hard I couldn’t catch my breath. Good thing I didn’t need to. Charley wrapped her arms around me, and I felt her light seep into me, warming me and healing me like a salve of illumination. I lost track of time as my mind revisited the last few months of my life, the pregnancy, the hope, the decision I’d made, knowing I might not survive.

When I next looked up, Charley had led me somewhere else. We were in a hospital room with my mother cooing to a tiny bundle in her arms.

“What’s her name?” Charley asked.

My mother—my beautiful, strong mother who had worried so hard for so long—handed her a baby girl. “Her name is Melody Jo Anne,” she said, her red-rimmed eyes sparkling with pride.

“Wait,” I said to Charley, “we’d decided on Melody Ruth, after her.”

Charley tore her gaze away from Melody and asked my mother, “I thought Jo decided on Melody Ruth.”

My mother laughed, tears sparkling in her eyes. “We did, but I thought it much more fitting that this child be named after the woman who gave up her life to give her one.”

“May I ask what happened?” Charley said.

With heartbroken eyes, my mother explained. “I’m not sure how well you knew Jo, but she had type one diabetes.”

“I didn’t know that,” Charley replied, offering my mother a sympathetic gaze while swaying with the baby.

“We figured it out when she was seven. It almost killed her, and the damage it did to her kidneys was irreparable. We’d struggled her whole life just to keep her alive. So many hospitals. So many close calls.” She touched a tiny hand that had escaped the tight folds of the blanket. My baby’s hand. It was terrifying.

“Just like her mother,” a male voice said.

Surprised, I glanced up as my father walked in carrying two cups of coffee.

“Always escaping,” he added, gesturing toward the hand of the infant, “always defiant.”

“To the end,” my mother said, choking on a sob.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Montgomery, Mr. Montgomery,” Charley said.

“She just came home pregnant one day,” Mom said. Dad handed her a coffee and squeezed her shoulder for support. “The doctor told her if she went through with it she would be risking her life, but it was all she’d ever wanted. The one thing that would kill her.”

My mother melted into a sea of sobs as my father held her tight. I remembered everything now. The one night my boyfriend and I weren’t careful. That same boyfriend then opted out of Melody’s life. Quitting my job and moving back home with my parents when I’d fallen too ill to care for myself. Everything I’d done was just to keep Melody alive.

I finally worked up the courage to move closer to Charley, to get a look at this being that had taken up residence inside me for so long. Charley instantly angled the baby so I could see her face, and both my hands flew up to cover my mouth. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Absolutely perfect.

“Look at her eyes,” I said.

Charley nodded. “And her long fingers.”

“Babies are cool.”

Startled, we both looked up at Reyes. He’d materialized from a sea of black smoke. It drifted off him like fog off dry ice. I thought Charley would be upset, but she didn’t seem to mind his presence. She refocused on Melody, her only concern my baby.

“May I?” Reyes asked, questioning me with upraised brows. It was the first time he’d spoken to me directly.

“Absolutely,” I said after a moment of recovery. I eased aside to let him have a look.

He stepped closer and smiled down at Melody. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”

Charley’s grin widened and she whispered, “Isn’t she?”

“She is, but I was talking to you.”

Charley gasped and leveled a curious stare on him. “Oh, my gosh, it is my birthday. How did you know?”

He shook his head. “I was there, remember?”

“Right,” she whispered. Then she stared at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now I’ll leave you alone.” Tipping an invisible hat at me, he said, “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

Just before vanishing, he added, “Oh, in case you’re wondering, she’s going to be a very successful artist.”

A hand covered my mouth again. I could just see it: my beautiful Melody, paint brushes in hand, a spot of cerulean on her cheek, a smudge of violet over her brow. She was perfect, and her art would be perfect, too.

I watched the smoke of his exit dissipate then turned to Charley. “He was there when you were born?”

“Yep. Long story.”

I chuckled. “The life you must have had. And you share Melody’s birthday.”

“I do, don’t I?”

“Is she talking to you?” my father asked Charley, clearly having heard her whispers. He looked amused.

Charley laughed. “Yes, she is. Just bursting with things to say.” She glanced up at him and smiled. He smiled back, moving closer to stare down at my child.

“Can you tell them something for me?” I asked.

Charley nodded and waited for me to speak.

“Can you tell them thank you for everything? Just…” I couldn’t seem to say anything else. My throat closed when I thought about all the things they’d done for me, all the sacrifices they’d made. I hadn’t actually committed suicide. Not really. I’d sacrificed myself for another. Relief flooded through me with that knowledge. And my parents had forgiven me, indulged me this one great desire I’d had in life and my need to fulfill it. Now they would be raising my child, showering her with just as much love as they had me. I couldn’t have asked for more.

But, how could I possibly put all of my gratitude in words? Did words as strong as the feelings swirling inside me even exist?

“Yes,
thank you,
” I said. I’d made the right choice, and nothing else mattered. “Just thank you.”

“Jo asked me to give you a message should it come to this,” Charley said, her voice a little choked.

My mother gasped and stood beside my father, her eyes searching, craving for any word from me.

“She said, ‘Thank you.’”

Oh, I’d forgotten something. I leaned in and whispered.

Charley laughed. “Oh. And she wanted to make sure you enroll Melody in the finest art schools in the country.”

The smile that commandeered my mother’s face was brilliant. “That’s Jo,” she said, her eyes shimmering with unspent tears. “Always demanding the very best.”

Easing Melody out of Charley’s arms, she hugged Charley and my father at the same time. It made me realize something. “I think I’m ready now,” I said.

Charley turned. Leveling those gold eyes on me, she nodded and waited.

My parents were busy with Melody. It was time. But, I stepped forward and hugged Charley first. She hugged me back, and it felt liked being wrapped in sunshine. Then, without another thought, I crossed.

The journey was fast. I saw memories and thoughts that were not my own. It took me a moment to realize they were Charley’s, and they were too vast for me to completely comprehend, but I managed to absorb a few. The memory of her mother’s death. What it was like for her in high school, a grim reaper among humans. How she secretly loved children but was convinced she’d never have any. The small and cunningly placed defense mechanisms she incorporated to keep those around her at arm’s length, all because she simply knew too much about betrayal and loss and death.

Also, I saw how she hoped with all her heart that Reyes loved her. Just a little. Just enough to keep her going day in and day out.

Suddenly I was in a place I’d never imagined existed, seeing colors we don’t have on Earth, so vivid they’re blinding. I was feeling warmth that had nothing to do with the weather, a warmth so fine and pure it saturated every molecule of my being. And there, in a place outside of time, I watched my sinfully powerful desire grow up. I watched Melody Jo Anne Montgomery grow up, all the while waiting for the day I’d get to meet her.

What a marvelous day that will be.

DARYNDA JONES

THE
GRAVE
SERIES

First Grave on the Right

Second Grave on the Left

Third Grave Dead Ahead

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DARYNDA JONES

First Grave on the Right