Charlotte & Nate (Royals of Valleria #4) (18 page)

She too often smelled like the kitchen and was incompetent between the sheets. What the hell was she thinking of, seeing Nate?

When a knock came at her door, she walked across her rooms to answer it, but was startled to find no one outside her door. She closed the door and leaned against it, wondering if she had been hearing things.

“Charlie,” a muffled voice called to her.

Wondering if she had finally lost her mind and if the voices had taken over, she shook her head and glanced around her rooms. She gasped when she realized one of the walls was slightly ajar, a small credenza in front of it.

“Charlie, could you move this? It’s me, Nate.”

“Oh,” Charlie said and rushed over, quickly pushing the antique aside. Her eyes were wide as Nate emerged from the hidden passage with a reckless smile on his face, and dressed in a casual but sexy sweater and jeans. When a sharp pang hit her belly, she realized why she wanted to see Nate, after all.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s all right.” Charlie peeked around the door to the surprisingly well-lit hallway, which seemed to stretch for ages before disappearing around a corner.

“Well, I guess we know where the secret door in your rooms is.”

“I guess so,” she said as Nate closed the door and secured it by pressing his thumb into a fingerprint scanner that was embedded in the wallpaper; Charlie would never have guessed it was there. “Was it very far to travel inside the walls?”

“Long enough,” he said in a raspy voice and Charlie turned to catch the heat in his eyes. She gasped as he pulled her into his arms and his mouth claimed hers. He demanded entrance immediately, and she gave it easily. Her hands delved into his hair, loosening the leather band holding it back. As his hair fell and brushed her cheek, she moaned and his hold tightened.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist you,” he said a moment later.

“It’s okay,” she murmured as she caught her breath. A timer on the stove brought them both back to the present. “Let me go check on dinner.”

He ran one hand down the length of her back before stepping back, and gave her an appraising look. “You look beautiful, Charlie.”

She swallowed, ridiculously pleased that her simple clothes didn’t lighten the intense heat in his gaze. “Thank you.” After turning off the stove, she returned to the living room where Nate had taken a seat on the couch. “Can I get you a drink?”

“I’ve brought one for us,” he said, and gestured to the bottle of wine she hadn’t noticed earlier. “Why don’t you get some glasses and I’ll pour?”

When she returned and sat down, he was tapping viciously at his phone. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing.” He shook his head. “Some people just have a hard time fathoming that I don’t want to speak to them.”

“Is it related to the embezzlement? Do you need to leave?”

He sighed when his phone buzzed again, this time turning it completely off. “There, now we won’t be bothered at all. No, I don’t have to leave.” He poured out two glasses of a wine she had not tasted before.

“What is this?”

“Lambrusco. It’s a red Italian sparkler. I hope it goes with dinner.”

Charlie smiled. “It’s an unconventional choice, but I think it will work surprisingly well.”

“I wanted something light and fun tonight, and I thought it might do the trick.”

Charlie wondered if he was still talking about the wine, or about her. “I like it,” she said after a sip. “I like sparkling wines, though not all of the other staff do.”

“What did you make for us?”

She looked down into her glass. “It’s comfort food. At least, it’s comforting to me.”

He positioned himself closer to her and put one arm around her. “Do you need comforting tonight, Charlie?”

She looked into his eyes and thought, perhaps, he was the one who needed comforting. “It was a long day. How did the rest of your day go?”

He sighed and took another sip, smiling when the bubbles hit his lips. “Surprising and exhausting.”

“Your family?” she asked tentatively.

“Yes.” He idly brushed her bare arm as he spoke and she found it oddly comforting. “I hope you realize my mother really was sorry for her behavior earlier. When she’s wrong, she admits it.”

Charlie nodded. “I could tell. I’m glad, but that doesn’t change the dynamic between us, at least not yet.”

He nodded, his brow furrowed. “She told my father about us.”

When she tensed in his arms, he dropped a quick kiss to her lips. “Don’t worry. My father doesn’t know enough about you to form an opinion, not yet.”

“But if your mother told him, then he may be biased. I don’t want to cause any trouble with you and your family.” When she started to shift away, he held her still.

“You can’t. My family and I have always had a difficult relationship. Well, not always, but for about the last ten years.”

She couldn’t help herself when she saw the despairing look in his eye. She brought her hand to his face, the scruffy shadow abrading her skin. He closed his eyes and shifted into her touch, and she felt a curious bloom of warmth within her heart. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Do you want to hear it?” he murmured. “I normally don’t talk about it to anyone, not even my family.”

“I’m here to listen if you do, but you don’t have to talk about it.”

Nate put down his glass and hers, and shifted on the couch until his head came to rest in her lap, as though she were a soft, decadent pillow to sink into. She found she didn’t mind it very much, not when his hands took one of hers and rested it against his heart. She used her free hand to delve into his thick head of hair, which seemed much too soft and silky to belong to the rough, virile man cuddled against her.

“It was over ten years ago,” he started, his voice low and even, and lost in memory. “I was on holiday break at university during my last year, and I was taking a trip with my girlfriend at the time, Angela. We were heading to the Italian Alps. Long, twisty roads nestled along the edge of the mountains, snowy roads hiding a layer of ice I didn’t see.”

“Oh, Nate.” Her hand continued to run through his hair; she hoped he found comfort in the gesture. She wasn’t used to giving it or receiving it, and had no gauge to judge it.

“We had an accident, both of us thrown from the car before it tumbled over the edge of a cliff. If I hadn’t gotten our seatbelts off in time, we both would have gone over with it.” He gripped her hand tighter.

“After I was flung from the car, I ended up falling against some rocks and bashed my head. I was knocked unconscious immediately. If only I’d driven more carefully or watched where I had been going …” The sentence was left unfinished and thick with regret.

“When I came to, she was lying under some rocks. Before the car skidded, apparently it crashed against the mountain and jarred some of the rocks above, causing an avalanche. She was barely breathing. She kept trying to say something but could only gasp for air. When I managed to shift some of the rocks away, she let out a long, keening wail. I’ll never forget it. It still haunts me.” His words cracked, but he cleared his throat and continued.

Oh my God.
“Nate.”

“She also happened to be the daughter of another leader, Germany’s Chancellor at the time. Her death strained relations between not only two families, but two countries as well. It was a difficult time, to say the least.” He paused, staring off into an unknown space where she couldn’t follow.

“I was going to marry her. That’s why I’d planned that trip. None of us ever missed a royal Vallerian holiday. I was the first one to do it, and my father was dead against it. He knew what I had planned and didn’t approve – not of me or of her – and worried about the political complications of it all. We said some things to each other. I don’t know if we’ve forgiven each other for that yet.”

“Of course he’s forgiven you, if there’s anything to forgive. I don’t know much about fathers, but any of us can see how much he cares for you.”

“Maybe. I could almost believe that after our meeting today.” Nate shook his head. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Of course it matters. You’re still hurting. You must have really loved her.”

“I thought I did. For years I thought what I felt for her was it. We would have had a good life, I think, if she’d lived.”

Her eyes locked with his, which were dry but heavy with the loss he carried. “I feel something when I see you, Charlotte. Something different. I haven’t felt anything different in ten years.”

She blinked, her mouth falling slightly open. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”

“Don’t say anything. I can’t explain it. I thought I’d never be able to feel again. I tried for years.”

She swallowed. “The women?”

“Yes. I kept looking for someone, anyone to make me feel again.”

Her hand, still resting over his heart, felt the pulse beating underneath. “Earlier, in the kitchen with your mother, you said that you almost didn’t come back to Valleria. What did you mean?”

“I left Valleria after Angela died. I dropped out of university and spent the majority of my time in France. When I was summoned back for family or royal events, I came, and then left again. I eventually finished my degree without stepping foot on campus again; the privileges of being a royal, I suppose. When my father called me back a few months ago, I knew he was hoping I’d stay long-term.”

She didn’t know why a shiver of fear gripped her. “Are you? Staying long-term?”

Nate’s hand tightened on hers as it rested against his chest. “I’m seriously considering it.”

“For me?”

Nate nodded. “Partially. It’s also for me, too. I might just be ready to rejoin the land of the living.”

His sweater-covered chest felt warm and soothing underneath her hand, and his soft hand warmed hers above it. Her hand was completely covered and consumed by his; she was a little addicted and terrified to the feeling. Because fear was currently trumping anything else, she pulled her hand away.

Nate grabbed it and brought it to his lips. “What are you thinking?”

Too much
. “If your parents didn’t approve the daughter of another country’s leader, why would they ever consider me appropriate? Your mother certainly didn’t.”

He rested her hand on his chest again, and this time the addictive feeling won out over the fear. “My parents have learned their lesson. They chose duty before family before; they won’t do it again. Why else do you think my father was so receptive to Rebecca? She’s a commoner, but my parents have learned it’s best to let our hearts go where they will.”

“But didn’t Rebecca’s father know yours, or something like that?”

“That’s true, they are friends. None of that mattered when he saw the love in Alex’s eyes for Rebecca. My parents love each other, quite deeply. I think my experience paved the way for the rest of my siblings.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it wasn’t just our relationships they put up with, though they did. Arianna was seeing someone quite seriously and, though my father never approved of him, he kept his mouth shut about it. Her relationship didn’t turn out so well in the end, so I’m sure he wishes he’d spoken up now. Besides that, there were our careers.”

“How so?”

“Carolina, for example, was never interested in formality or structure. She was always a quiet spirit yearning to be free. She’s now a brilliant artist; I don’t know that my father would have approved her vocation otherwise.”

Charlie’s forehead crinkled. “But don’t you all work for the crown, so to speak?”

“Yes, that’s true, but most of us have found our own way to do it. It was really only Alex who didn’t have a choice, and Cat didn’t have much of one either until Rebecca came into the picture as Alex’s future bride.”

“Cat?”

“Oh.” Nate chuckled, and she felt the vibrations of it against her legs. “My sister, Catharine. ‘Cat’ is her nickname.”

“Oh, of course. I should have realized.”

“You should have realized something else, too.”

“What’s that?”

“I want you.”

Did he feel the way her gut just tightened at his words? “Oh?”

He shifted to sit up, his broad shoulders and lean body blocking any view but of him. “Is that really so surprising?”

She shook her head. “I suppose it’s not. You have mentioned it before.”

“What I meant was, that I want you, and I don’t give a damn what my parents have to say. I don’t think they’ll fight me on this.” After a pointed look from her, Nate added, “Well, they won’t fight me anymore on this.”

The tips of his fingers came up to brush her lips. She hadn’t put any gloss or lipstick on them, leaving them bare. She never wore them on a daily basis and just didn’t think about them tonight.

“Can I taste you, Charlotte?” His voice was raspy, dangerous. She’d spent her whole life fleeing danger and now seemed to be running straight towards it.

“I don’t just mean your lips. I want to taste every inch of your sweet skin.” He bent forward to lick a spot just behind her ear. “I want to drown in you, Charlotte. Please, may I drown in you?”