Chasing Olivia (Trace + Olivia #2) (44 page)

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hate this.”

“What? Your tie?” I joked, feeling the need to alleviate the tension in the room.

“He shouldn’t be dead. It’s not right,” he opened his eyes to look at me.

“I agree,” I tightened the tie and fixed it into place. “There,” I stepped away.

He was dressed in a black suit with an emerald tie that brought out his eyes.

“I don’t want to go to this,” he stared at his reflection, fiddling with his collar like it was restricting his oxygen even though it was loose.

“Trace,” I grabbed his hands and held them in my own. “We have to. You’d hate yourself if you missed your grandpa’s funeral. It’s okay to be sad and angry. It’s even okay to cry. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.”

“You know how my mom wants us all to speak about Gramps?” He waited for me to nod before continuing. “I don’t want to,” he admitted, looking at me with sad eyes partially concealed by his thick-framed black glasses. I hated seeing him like this, but it was understandable.

“Then don’t. She’s not going to be mad if you don’t. Do what
you
need to do.” I caressed his face with the back of my fingers, trying to offer him as much comfort and support as I could. The past two days had been hard on the both of us, but Trace was handling things better than I’d imagined. He’d had a few outbursts of anger, like with the tie, and he’d broken down crying last night…but I knew he’d be okay with time.

He glanced at his guitar case leaning against the bedroom wall. “What if I sang a song?”

A genuine smile met my lips for the first time in days. “That would be wonderful and I know it would mean more to Gramps than a speech.”

He swallowed thickly, glancing down at the watch adorning his wrist. “We better go.”

He grabbed his guitar case and left the apartment, not bothering to see if I was following.

All I wanted to do was make him feel better but I didn’t know how to do it. There wasn’t an instruction book for something like this. All I could do was love him, no matter what.

With a sigh, I opened the drawer in the nightstand beside the bed and pulled out the letters Gramps had written to Trace and me. I tucked them into my purse, planning to give Trace his after the funeral. I was sure I’d end up reading mine then too, but a part of me wanted to leave it unread. I didn’t want to know Gramps’ final words to me. If I didn’t read them, then it was like he wasn’t really gone.

“Bye, Ace,” I petted the dog affectionately on the head and closed the apartment door, making sure it was locked.

Trace was already in the car and he didn’t say anything as we drove to the cemetery.

Even though Gramps had known lots of people, we’d chosen to keep the funeral private. My mom, Nick, Avery, and Luca would be there, but that was it outside of the immediate family.

I followed Trace through the grass, around the headstones, to a spot under a large oak tree. Gramps’ casket was closed, on a platform above the freshly dug ground where it would soon be lowered. I was glad they’d chosen to keep the casket closed. I didn’t want to see Gramps like that. I wanted to remember him like I knew him when he was alive…smiling, laughing, and strong.

Trace set his guitar case down and his mom eyed it with a question in her eyes, but didn’t ask.

Everyone else soon arrived and a man I’d never met before began to speak about Gramps. It was clear the man hadn’t really
known
Gramps, so I found myself tuning him out.

After he was finished speaking, we each took turns saying a few things about Gramps.

When it was my turn, Trace stood up with me. He entwined our hands together and I knew then, that we were united, and we’d really be okay. Greif had a way of making you forget that in time you’d heal.

You live.

You love.

You lose.             

You heal.

You move on.

I held my head high as I spoke. “Gramps, is one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met. He welcomed me into the Wentworth family with open arms. He made me feel comfortable, but most importantly he made me feel loved. And I loved him back, like he was my own grandpa. I spent a lot of time with him over the years and he became not only my family, but a friend as well. When I say I’m going to miss him, it doesn’t encompass the magnitude in which I’ll feel empty. There will always be a part of me missing because of his loss. But I won’t dwell on his death. Gramps wouldn’t want me to do that. I’ll remember him often and I’ll always love him.” I squeezed Trace’s hand, letting him know I was finished speaking.

I expected us to sit down, but he tightened his hold on my hand so that I couldn’t move. He swallowed thickly and a heavy breath gusted between his lips. “Gramps was more than a grandpa to me. After my dad died, he helped fill that role. I was in a bad place for a long time after my dad died, but Gramps
never
gave up on me. I put my family through hell, but they stood by my side, and with Gramps’ help I found my way back home…and I eventually found the love of my life. Without Gramps, there are so many things I wouldn’t have today. I’m not going to lie, I’m angry that he’s gone. Really fucking angry. But that’s life, sometimes bad things happen and we have to decide how to deal with them. I’m not the same person I was when my dad died,” he stopped, taking a moment to compose himself. “I was a boy then, but now I’m a man. I’ve grown a lot since then, and I won’t let this break me. Like Olivia said, I’ll always remember and love him.”

We sat down together and everyone was silent, soaking in our words.

Grammy began to cry beside Trace and he released my hand to hug her. “It’s okay, Grammy,” he rubbed her back. “We’re all here for you.”

When he turned back to me, I said, “I thought you weren’t going to say anything?”

“I wasn’t,” he shrugged. “But after you spoke…it would’ve been wrong not to say anything.”

After Trent gave a short speech, Trace opened his guitar case.

“I’d like to sing a song to honor Gramps’ memory,” he cleared his throat.

His mom smiled.

He pulled his chair out and turned it around so he was facing everyone.

He strummed the guitar lightly, closing his eyes as his teeth bit into his bottom lip.

“’Oh, oh, oh, oh,’” he began. “Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, and the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby. Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly, and the dreams that you dream of. Dreams really do come true. Some day, I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemondrops high above the chimney tops. That’s where you’ll find me.’”

I closed my eyes, listening to the song and soaking in the words.

When he finished singing, I heard Grammy sniffling and even his mom was crying. There was a lone tear on my cheek and I swiped it away.

“That was beautiful,” I told him as he packed his guitar back up. “That was different that the original,” I stated. “Did you change it yourself?”

“No,” he shook his head. “That’s Jason Castro’s version.”

“It was perfect,” I placed a hand on his arm. “Very fitting.” We stood, standing by the casket.

“Yes, it is,” he skimmed his fingers over the mahogany top. “Gramps is with the rainbows now.”

Everyone was hugging and saying goodbye. I managed to keep Trace from leaving, saying I wanted a moment longer. When everyone was gone, I pulled his letter from my purse. Trace watched my movements carefully, eyeing the letter with apprehension.

“Here,” I handed Trace his. “Gramps gave me this when he was in the hospital.” His hands gripped the envelope tightly and I feared he might rip it. “I don’t know what it says, but I think you should read it. There’s one for me too,” I pulled the second letter from my purse.

He took a deep breath, staring at his name scrawled on the envelope.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he confessed.

“I don’t know I can either,” I admitted. “Maybe we should do it together?” I suggested.

He nodded and we sat beneath the tree. The leaves cast shadows over us and we both stared at the sealed envelopes, reluctant to open them. He looked at me and I looked at him. At the same time, we ripped the envelopes open.

I pulled the piece of paper out carefully, like it was a precious artifact I was worried I might damage.

Tears leaked out of my eyes as I began to read.

Olivia,

If you’re reading this then that means I’m dead. Sorry about that. Some things cannot be helped. I held out for as long as I could. I fought hard, I promise you that. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stay longer, but my time has come to an end and I must say goodbye. I love you very much. I know you know that, but I felt the need to say it again. I couldn’t have picked a better woman to steal my grandson’s heart. You bring out a side to him that’s been missing since his dad died. You make him smile and laugh. You’ve shined a light into all his darkest places and driven away his demons. I can’t thank you enough for that. You don’t know what he was like after his dad died…I feared he lost his way. I worked hard to bring him back, but you didn’t have to work at it. You’re his soul mate, Olivia. Soul mates are hard to find, but I managed to find mine in Ellie. Hold him close, and never ever let go. Live your life, Olivia. Don’t dwell on the bad things. Move past them, together. That was one of the most important things I learned while married to Ellie…together, we could solve any problem and conquer any hurdle. I want the best for you and Trace. I know you’re both bound for great things. I’m proud of Trace for following his dream and choosing not to take over the company. He should be admired for making the less easy choice. If he ever doubts his decision, remind him of this. As for you, my sweet Olivia, write that book. Don’t let life get in the way of your dreams. Our dreams can take us anywhere as long as we let them. So, spread those wings and fly baby girl.

All my love, forever,

Gramps.

A few weeks later…

“What do you think?” Trace took a step back with his hands on his hips, assessing the new sign on the garage.

W
ENTWORTH
W
HEELS

“It’s…interesting,” I eyed the name now emblazoned on what was once Pete’s Garage.

“You don’t like it,” he frowned, his brows furrowing together.

“No, I do.” Actually, I thought it was ridiculous, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I kept my mouth shut. Two weeks ago, Pete had handed the business over to Trace. It had been shut down since then as Trace prepped to open the garage under its new management. Pete had left him all of the equipment since he didn’t need it, but the place had been in need of a serious makeover. Now, it sparkled with a renewed life.

The last few weeks had been hard, since we were still mourning the loss of Gramps, but Trace was better since he’d been putting so much time and energy into opening the garage as his own. It was a welcome distraction for him.

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m not lying,” I laughed. “I wasn’t expecting that though,” I shrugged, pointing at the sign.

“I thought it was catchy,” he crossed his arms over his chest. “Better than Trace’s Garage, at least.”

“Yeah, this is better than that,” I admitted. “I’m really proud of you,” my voice brightened as I smiled at him. I knew it had been hard for Trace to admit that taking over the family business wasn’t for him. He wanted to please his family, but he would’ve been miserable leading his family’s company. Instead, his mom had stepped up to the plate and filled Gramps’ shoes. She had worked for the company after she married Trace’s dad and after he’d died she’d continued to put in hours.

“Thanks,” he slung his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in for a kiss.

After looking at the sign for another minute, we made our way into the apartment.

Trace stopped in the kitchen, leaning a hip against the counter. “I noticed you canceled your job interviews.”

“Yeah,” I bit my lip, remembering the words Gramps had written in his letter.
As for you, my sweet Olivia, write that book. Don’t let life get in the way of your dreams. Our dreams can take us anywhere as long as we let them. So, spread those wings and fly baby girl.

After reading Gramps letter, I knew taking a job teaching wasn’t what I really wanted to do. Writing a book would be hard, and I might not ever do it, but I wouldn’t know until I tried. So, for the time being I’d continue to work at Marcy’s store and write in my spare time. Who knew where it would go, but at least I’d be happy, and happiness was the key to everything.

“So…does this mean you’re going to write that book?” He paused waiting for me to respond. When I didn’t say anything, he grabbed an apple and bit into it. He arched a brow as he eyed me from across the counter.

There was no point in not telling him my plan. I knew he would support my decision. Besides, this is what he’d wanted me to do all along. I strode forward and grabbed my laptop. I plopped on the couch and opened the lid of the computer. “Yeah, I am and I’m going to start right now,” my voice shook nervously with fear. Admitting this was a big step for me.