Chasing Stars (33 page)

“Oh, Will. I love you so much…” Portia lunges toward me. “Yes, yes, yes.” Her lips meet mine, and I taste the salt from her tears. We kiss until we are both breathless. Long after the sun settles behind the horizon line, we are still intertwined. My heart beats stronger than ever, leaping with a new found purpose and joy.

By the time we head down the mountain, a black blanket sprinkled with stars covers the sky. Anticipating the darkness, I had brought a small flashlight. Portia holds tighter to my hand at every foreign noise we hear. I almost regret bringing her here so late. Almost. I really wanted to make this special for us, especially for her.

I have come to an interesting conclusion regarding Portia. She has everything that money can buy and legions of people worshiping at her feet. But her life is shallow, sad, and even she is aware of how fleeting her fame is. Worse, other than Nillie, Tarry, and Stefan, she is on her own.

“Sorry that I don’t have a ring. I designed one, but it won’t be ready until the end of the week.”

“Don’t apologize, Will, this is the single most perfect day of my life.” Portia stumbles on the uneven and rough terrain, and I steady her.

“Oh, easy baby, I want you in one piece at our wedding.” I grin.

“When do you have in mind?” Her voice is full of expectation and enthusiasm.

“Well, we have to get a license, but I was hoping by Friday. Dan could marry us.” I stop for a moment, and glance at her expectantly. “Is it too soon for you? God, we don’t have to get married now. You probably want a big wedding, right? Sorry, baby. We can…” Portia releases a laugh that sounds like crystal ringing.

“Are you kidding me?” she asks. We are in the parking lot now; and we stop next to the car.

“Will, I can barely wait until Friday.” She enlaces her hands around my neck and her trembling lips meet mine.

“Good…” I whisper against her lips, before crushing my mouth over hers.

I swing open the car door. Portia slides in and switches on her cell. I know she’s telling her friends, and I jog around to the other side of the car. A rush of happiness about the future runs through me.

Feeling a wave of happiness, I do group text Tarry and Nillie:

Me:
Guess what???

Tarry:
Yeah?

Niki:
Spill it.

Me:
Get your sorry arses here by Friday. I’m getting MARRIED.

Niki:
Joking?!

Tarry:
WTF?

Tarry:
On my way ; )

Niki:
Wait, r u serious?

Me:
Dead serious.

Niki:
OMG. Soooo freaking awesome!

Me:
Will just proposed. Oh guys, I am so in love with this man.

Niki:
Tears and goose bumps.

Tarry:
Opening champagne as we speak.

Me:
So r u on? I can’t do it without u 2.

Tarry:
I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Niki:
Ditto.

Me:
Call u later with the details.

Nick:
Ohh, crying again.

Me:
See u soon, my fiancé is waiting, we r going tell his family.

“Tarry and Niki are coming,” I tell Will as I step out of the car.

“For real? I was afraid it was too late notice for them.” Will’s fingers intertwine mine.

“Oh, I could not marry without them here, Will.”

“I know, baby, and we can always change the date.”

“Now, I need to call Stefan. I am sure he will come too.” I notice for the first time, that a grin is frozen on my face. Just like Dan’s.

Will opens the living room door. The house is silent. Three sets of eyes expectantly wait for us. After a glance at Will’s and my face, Maritza exclaims, “She said yes!” She lunges at us, her eyes tearing. “Oh, Portia, welcome to the family.” She squeezes me and a feeling of happiness that seldom comes my way swamps my body.

“Congratulations.’ Dan and Mel hug Will and me.

“Thank you,” I utter.

“Oh. So, did you choose a date?” Maritza leads us to the couch.

“Friday.” Will grins.

Shock shoots across Maritza’s face. “But, is it enough time?” She seems to hyperventilate. “I mean, there is a dress involved.” She sighs. “A party, invitations, the honeymoon—”

“I want a private ceremony and there are only a few people I will invite,” I utter.

“Oh, OK. But we need a small reception. Can’t we do it on Saturday? That will give us time to plan a small dinner after the ceremony.”

Will glances at me expectantly. In all honesty, I wish we could do it today, but I guess it will make more sense to wait until Saturday. “What you think Will?”

“Not a day after Saturday and I am good.” He smirks. “And Maritza, we will hire a caterer, I don’t want you worrying about food for our wedding.”

“OK, Saturday it is.” I clap my hands and, before I realize it, I grab Will and kiss him passionately. “Sorry,” I say when I glance around the room.

“Oh, come on, it is not like we don’t see the two of you smooching in the corners every chance you have,” Mel says and grabs my hand. “Come with me, I need to show you something.”

I follow her obediently. Mel seems genuinely excited for us, which is such a relief.

“Sit down, let me show you.” She points to the chair in the corner of her room. “I know you will be pressed for time, so, I want to show you this.” She pulls out a hanger from her closet, and unzips the cover.

“Oh,” I gasp, “It is your wedding gown, I’ve seen the pictures.” Realization runs through me, and tears burn my eyes.

“Yeah, it was Mom’s.” Her fingers slide across the beaded skirt.

“Mel, are you sure?” I stand up, and examine the gown. It is gorgeous. But Mel’s gesture is what melts my heart. I sudden remember when Will mentioned how generous Mel is. Now I understand.

“It is beautiful, thank you,” I murmur.

“You are more slender than me, but Aunt May can adjust it for you.” She hands me the dress. “Portia, I am sorry for giving you such a hard time at the beginning of your relationship with Will,” Mel says.

“Please, Mel. You were just looking out for your brother. I would have done the same.” I admire the handmade embroidery with cascading crystals. “Can I try it on?” I ask.

“Sure, let me help you. I changed it a bit from mom’s original design.”

I hastily remove my clothes and slip inside the gown. Thousands of butterflies flutter in my stomach.

After zipping the dress, Mel retrieves a box from her closet and opens it, revealing a long lace veil. “This was my grandmother’s.”

The dress is strapless with organza fitted around the waist and a flaring embroidered skirt. The gown is simple, but when Mel places the veil over my hair, it is breathtaking.

I stare in the full-length mirror tucked behind the door. Biting my lower lip, I ponder about the recent changes in my life. Is this for real? Can someone’s life change so suddenly and so drastically?

Mel notices my contemplative moment and adds nervously, “If you don’t like the dress, don’t feel pressured. We can carve out some time and go shopping in the city.” The words roll out in a rush. “I’m sure any famous designer will accommodate short notice for you, right? Oh, Portia, you don’t have to wear it. I didn’t think this through. It was silly of me to offer it you. I am sure you want to choose a more modern gown,” she continues and shows her growing anxiety.

I turn around to face her and tears are flowing down my cheeks. What the hell! Does being happy open the gates of one’s tear ducts?

“It is perfect, Mel. I mean it. No designer could ever make a prettier gown than this. In addition, it will be my honor to wear it.” Mel’s simple act makes me feel special and part of a private circle. “Thank you, I will never forget this.”

Mel throws her arms around me awkwardly, due to her belly. “I am so happy for you and Will,” she sniffles. “OK, so, now, we only need to shop for new lingerie. There is a nice mall in Stamford. We should be able to find something there that’s, let’s say, memorable.”

Jeez, I wonder if Mel knows Will and I haven’t have sex yet. Wow, he will make love to me. Gasping for air at that very thought, I look at my reflection and notice the pink color spreading across my cheek. Yes. I am blushing. Portia McGee, the untamed and wild woman is actually flushing at the thought of having sex. Who would have thought?

A blend of excitement and expectation runs through me. I haven’t had sex in forever. OK, in about six months. The point being is
I will make love to Will
.

Mel gathers the excess fabric around my hips and it is stunning. “See, we need to adjust around the hips, not a big deal.” She is gleaming.

We are both startled by a knock at the door. “Who is it?” Mel yells.

“It’s me. I want my fiancée back,” Will says from the hall.

“Go away, she can’t be seen by you right now,” Mel scolds him. “Send Mom in.” She bosses him and sounds every bit a sister.

“OK. But let me take a quick look first, only for a sec.”

“Shut up and do as you’re told,” Mel laughs.

I hear Will’s laughter echo down the hallway as he walks away. I wonder if I can be any happier.

A little later, Maritza strolls into the room and stares at me. My own mother comes to mind, and I wonder if I should call her. I decide to think about that later.

“What do you think?” I ask hopefully.

“Oh, Portia…” She chokes, and she is teary. “You look stunning. Will is a fortunate man.” She squeezes me tight.

“I am the fortunate one.” I smile in between sobs. Internally I roll my eyes at becoming teary. Again.

“C’mere.” Will enlaces my waist and plants a kiss on my nose.

“What?” I snuggle in his embrace, but sense tension emanating from his body.

“I know you must be beat, but can I show you something?” Will’s deep green eyes are more intense than usual.

“OK.” Will leads me to the basement. He retrieves a manila folder from the computer desk and sinks into a love seat, pulling me into his lap.

“These are my records from when I was a foster child under the care of the State of Connecticut.” He pauses, biting the inside of his lips. “I should have shown you this before, but…” Will’s voice trails off as he gives me the envelope. He rubs his hand over his jeans, and then his thumb fidgets around his ring. He is nervous.

“Will, you don’t have me to show me this. I mean, not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Portia, it is fair for you to know what you are getting into. As a child, I fell into the hands of incredibly evil people. As a consequence, I have demons I still battle, day and night,” he exhales. Most of the time, Will exudes confidence. But, like everyone else, ghosts from his past haunt him. At times, they grab hold of him and try to pull him back to the damaged kid he was. A sudden awareness strikes me. Will’s daily fights reaffirm who he is and that he heals a bit more every day.

The thick envelope, feels heavy and abrasive in my hand. I debate if I should open it. On the one hand, I want Will to believe I love him regardless of his past. On the other hand, I want him to share his obscure past with me. What do I do?

“Will, I see you for who you are, not where you are from and it fascinates me.”

He inhales. His silence hurts me, because I know he hurts. Glancing up, I meet his searching eyes. His desolated face crushes me, and I decide. My fingers tremble as I unravel the thread that secures the envelope.

I notice Will’s body stiffening. I want to take away the pain of his solitary spirit. I want to liberate him from his daunting past. My hope is that by sharing his past with me, he will rid himself some of the pain he carries. My eyes find a picture stapled to the first page, and my lips curve into a smile.

“Will, that’s you as a baby! You were so tiny.”

He notices the wonder in my voice, “Yeah, I was a preemie,” he whispers and I almost don’t hear him.

“We should frame this, when we get our place.”

“What?” Will frowns. I see his eyes examining the picture with me as if he is seeing it for the first time.