Chasing the Fire (Backdraft, Fully Involved, Flashover) (25 page)

Ten minutes later, carrying the girl over his
shoulder, he emerged from the building. Pete was ahead of him.
There was no one else in the apartment he’d checked, though Pete
had found two rooms behind the kitchen with cots in them.

Ambulance personnel ran up to him and took
the girl. “Keep her covered,” he said taking off his helmet. “She’s
naked.”

His captain looked over and gave him a
thumbs-up. “Good save, Nicky.”

“Thanks.”

“Nobody with her?”

“Guess not. Some prick left her naked and
tied to the bed.”

“Asshole…”

Nick was yanked from the very real memory by
the sound of crying. He looked to his left to see Stacey, with
tears coursing down her cheeks. “I left Alban there, Stace. And he
died. I knew he’d die of smoke inhalation by the time he was found.
Pete could have carried him out. Saved him.”

“I’m so sorry, Nick.”

“That’s the kind of person I am. I’d do
something like that.”

“Was your sister still in jeopardy from
him?”

“Uh-huh. I’d sent her to friends in
California after he showed up at the house. But these kinds of
people have long reaches.”

She let his words hang between them.

“It didn’t end there.”

Her eyes widened. “Someone found out?”

“No, I went to the police.”

“Oh, Nick.”

“Will Rossettie was captain in the precinct
where my dad had worked until he died; it was near the firehouse.
This was before 9/11. There’d been a lot of negative publicity for
firefighters in the city because somebody made public our salaries,
our time off, those kinds of things. One night, we were on a
routine call and gunshots were fired at us. Turns out it was a
trap.” He raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Rossettie was worried
that revealing what I’d done would make things worse.”

“What did he tell you?”

“What you’re probably thinking—that Alban was
the worst possible kind of scum, that he deserved to die. That I’d
probably saved a lot of other girls from Kelly’s fate.”

“All that’s true, Nick.”

“I know that.”

“But?”

“But it was wrong. I came as close to
committing murder as anyone can come and not actually do it. I’ll
live with that the rest of my life.”

She swiped at her cheeks. “I understand. It
must be very hard to deal with.”

He couldn’t read her mood. Did she see the
real him and hate him? Was she pitying him? “So, now you know.”

“I do. Thank you for telling me. And I’m not
going to try to make it all right, as you asked.”

He nodded.

“You did something morally wrong, Nick. You
have to live with it. It seems to me you should spend your time
giving back to society. Helping others to compensate for what you
did, or didn’t do, in this case.”

He was confused by her comment. It took him a
few seconds to get the message. He was a firefighter and saved
lives and property almost every day. He worked at the Joshua House,
had given them tons of money, too. And he volunteered every year at
Hale’s Haven. Maybe unconsciously he’d been trying to atone for his
sins for a long time now.

Her eyes were sparkling with tears,
glistening in the sunlight. She looked so lovely it twisted in his
gut to say the next words. “I have no right to ask you for a
relationship, Stacey. You’re so—”

She lunged across the couch. Threw her arms
around his neck. “So help me God, Nick, if you say one more time
I’m wholesome, or I’m too good for you, I’ll slap you up but
good.”

Startled, he let himself chuckle.

“And no, I haven’t done anything like you
did. And I have lived a more innocent, uncomplicated life. But I
know people have faults. People have done bad things. Look at Rick
Ruscio, Faith’s husband. Hell, you said yourself he deserved a
second chance.”

Nick watched the beautiful young woman before
him understand him. Accept who he was. Insist he go on with his
life. He was, simply, astounded by her. But maybe he shouldn’t be.
Who else could be so generous but the kind of woman she was?

And he was sick of the years of heavy guilt,
of the albatross he’d carried all this time, as Rossettie had
called it. Could she help rid him of the burden?

“Give us a chance, Nick. Let me help you deal
with what you’ve done. Help you see that you
are
a good
man.”

He wanted that. He needed that. He closed his
eyes, thinking. When he opened them and saw her staring at him
expectantly, he knew what he was going to do.

oOo

WITH A STINGING
heart, Stacey watched
the man who’d lived much of his adult life in the darkest of
shadows. When he finished his story, after they talked, she waited
for him to decide. To make the next move. His face was a mask of
pain, his body hunched over as if he couldn’t bear the weight of
his confession.

Finally, he straightened. “All right. I’ll
give us a chance.” He gave her a grateful expression. “I want to
make love. If you do.”

“Oh, God, yes.”

He stood first, then she did. He surprised
her by sliding his hands around her back and under her knees.
Cuddling her close, he carried her to the bedroom. Turning her face
into his chest, she breathed in his scent, felt the hardness of his
chest against her cheek. She hurt unbelievably for him and only
wanted to offer comfort. That her feelings were so deep frightened
her, but right now, she didn’t care about self-protection.

He stopped at the entryway to her bedroom and
scanned the area. “This is you.”

She saw it from his eyes. Pretty peach walls.
Beautiful oak trim. An oak, queen-size bed. He’d probably think it
was wholesome.

“I redecorated two years after Jess
died.”

“As I said, it’s you.”

Crossing to the bed, he set her down on her
feet, lifted his hand and brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “You
are so lovely. Right now, you take my breath away.”

He was vulnerable. Raw. But she let his words
into her heart, let them curl inside her like a kiss. “Thank
you.”

He brushed his thumb across her lips then
stepped back.

“So,” he said, kicking off his shoes. “What
do you say? Shall I undress for you?”

Oh, wow, he was trying to lighten the pall
his disclosure had cast over both of them; she was so glad he
wasn’t going to treat her as if she was breakable. As if she had to
be protected from him. “I’d like that, Captain.” She dropped down
on the edge of her mattress and braced her arms on the bed, leaned
back. “Do it.”

Slowly, he reached for the hem of his sweater
and pulled it off along with the T-shirt he wore beneath.

“Hmm. Can I touch?”

He shook his head. The disrobing had mussed
his hair, beautifully, and his green eyes deepened to jade. “Not
until I’m done.”

“Then by all means, finish.”

The sun came out brighter and shone through
the window, bathing him in its healing rays. His hands went to the
snap on his jeans. He inched down the zipper. What was beneath
bulged impressively. Sliding the denim and underwear off together,
the bulge leapt out at her. “I’m not embarrassed by my obvious
excitement. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

She smiled. “I’ve been dying to make love
with you.”

He took a few steps toward her. “Okay, you
can touch as much as you want for as long as I can take it. Stay
clothed, though. It’s kinda cool.”

Stacey touched: she ran her palms up the hard
flank of his thighs, flirted with his groin, placed her fingers
flat on his abs.

His hand went to her head, ruffled her hair.
“Um, I think you missed something down there.”

“I know what I’m doing.” And she did. She and
Jess, her only lover, had been adventurous in bed.

Her hands went to his chest, she ran her
fingers through the whorls of hair there, tweaked his nipples,
which were puckered. His erection grew harder. She laughed. “Oh, I
see he won’t wait much longer.” She took his penis in her hands and
massaged—slowly, then quickly, slowly again…

He let her go on for a while. Then he stilled
her. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“Then I guess it’s your turn.”

“Finally. Take off your clothes,
darlin’.”

Without hesitation, Stacey rose from the bed
and he stepped back. It should have been ludicrous, how he looked
naked, his erection jutting out with his arms folded over his
chest, watching her. But he looked like a Greek God. In turn,
Stacey did a sexy strip tease she didn’t know she was capable of.
She actually threw her bra at him, dangled her panties in his
face.

“Arrgh…” he moved in. “On the bed,
woman.”

She stretched out. He sat beside her and
began his own exploration. He cupped her breasts, and she closed
her eyes at the sensation. “These are so full. Firm. I’m glad
you’re not flat chested.”

He said her waist nipped in perfectly. He
lowered his head and licked her navel.

Instead of teasing her as she had him, he
went right for ground zero. He put his hand over her mound and
pressed hard. She bucked off the bed. He slid one finger, then two,
inside her making her jolt. “You’re wet. For me.”

“You could say that.” It came out on a
laugh.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but I don’t want
to wait anymore.”

“Oh, thank God.”

oOo

AFTER NICK RETRIEVED
a condom, which
he’d purposely brought from home in hopes that she’d forgive him
for acting like an ass, he rolled it on and climbed onto the bed,
in between her legs and braced himself on his elbows. “Let’s do it
the old-fashioned way. I want to feel every inch of you.” To that
end, he lifted her arms above her head and aligned their
bodies.

“Stop talking Nick,” she said impatiently. “I
don’t care how we do it, just do it.”

“How romantic.” He kissed her nose. Poised at
her entrance. In the back of his mind, he knew there was no coming
back from this; once he was inside her, they were irrevocably
connected. So, with frank acceptance, he slid into her. She was
tight. Really tight. Despite her slickness. “Oh, honey, no one
since Jess?”

“Nope. Now keep going, sailor.”

He got the message. She didn’t want
sentimentality, or talk of the past, either. They were forging a
new future here and she wanted to go into it boldly, without
reflection. He thrust to the hilt of her womb.

“Oh, wow, that feels good. So good…”

“Just wait, baby. Just wait.”

It took only three thrusts to send her
spilling over into pleasure. At that point, the world went blank
for Nick and he pounded into her. Light, clear and beautiful, burst
before his eyes as he willingly gave her everything he had.

He came back to reality and lifted his head,
stared down at her. “I don’t know what to say.”

She laughed of all things. “You know, you
still haven’t kissed me today.”

He rolled his eyes. “Well, let’s correct that
right now,” and he lowered his mouth to hers.

oOo

STACEY CUDDLED INTO
Nick, laying her
head on his shoulder as he slowly ran his knuckles up and down her
arm. The touch was feather light, making her shiver. He pulled up
the sheet. She wasn’t sure what his mood would be. Apparently, she
didn’t have to wait long to find out.

“I want this to be exclusive between us,
Stacey. For as long as it’s working for us both.”

“I want that, too.”

“Good, because I’m too tired to convince you
with another bout.”

Now she did tease. “For an old man, you did
good.”

He arched a sexy blond brow and peered down
at her. “Just good?”

She laughed. “Stupendous. And it
was…fun.”

“It was. You brought that out of me. I’d
forgotten I could be so lighthearted.” She didn’t speak. “You
expected Heathcliff? I bet he made love morbidly.”

Stacey loved that he was a reader. She always
found men who read sexy. “He probably did. No, after what you told
me, I thought you might be sad through this.”

“Sweetheart, it’s hard for anybody to be sad
around you. This was bound to be…uplifting. And by the way, I’m
glad I was the first for you this time around.”

“There you go again, making me feel like
Mother Teresa.”

“Actually, you were a tiger. That surprised
me, too.”

She grinned. “Can you stay?” she asked. “Or
are you on shift?”

Rolling his eyes, he confessed, “I, um, took
the liberty of asking for a furlough day.”

She edged up on her elbow. “Pretty sure of
yourself, buster.”

“Nope. For once in my life, I had hope. You
gave that to me. Thank you, love.”

This time she didn’t tease. She accepted the
wonderful words and kept them close to her heart.

oOo

AS HE HEADED
to the airport to pick
up Taylor, Nick was smiling. He’d
been
smiling for almost
two weeks, and it was no secret why. He’d had to endure his group’s
teasing, too…

“Hey, Cap, I saw you at The Lakeside
Restaurant, with that beautiful redhead. The one from the
bookstore. The one you’re planning the Christmas shindig with. You
two been partying together?”

He’d looked Ames in the face and said, “You
could call it that.”

Never before had he divulged anything about
his personal life to the guys, who shared private concerns all the
time like they were one big family. Nick had always seen himself as
the dad who should keep his stuff to himself.

Then there had been Kelly…

“You
told
her?” She threw her arms
around Nick and hugged him so tight, he hadn’t realized his guilt,
his inability to shed it, had weighed so heavily on her.

Finally, there was Stacey herself. True to
her word, she didn’t insist on analyzing what he’d done. She didn’t
try to make it better. Instead, she treated their relationship as
normal
. Buying lacy underwear for him. Wearing some sexy
perfume that drove up his blood pressure. She cooked him meals she
gladly left untouched once or twice to go to bed with him. She’d
given herself fully and unequivocally to him. These days, the only
times he was moody was when they talked about the Christmas party.
He still hated the holiday despite the gift he’d been given.