Chasing the Milky Way (20 page)

W
HEN
I
WAS WRITING THIS BOOK
and having it vetted, I was asked, “Why are you writing a book about mental illness if you don't suffer from mental illness yourself?” I would like to endeavor to answer that question here, because mental illness is something I have debated writing about for a long time.

My mother has worked in the mental health field her entire adult life. When I was little she worked at a recovery residence for those suffering from mental illness. I would go with her to work and spend time with the residents there. I remember liking the people quite a lot. To me, they had big imaginations. One said his mind was a thousand years old. Another was Joan of Arc reincarnated. Another had a collection of baby dolls to mother. Another could tell you every result of every Red Sox game ever played, from memory. To me, it was clear they had stories. It also became clear that they had people they loved and people they missed. They had times where they were happy and times when they were sad. They had interests and skills. Things they loved and things they hated. And just like everyone in the world, they had good days and bad days. When I went to school, classmates seemed to be wary (to say the least) of the people who lived at this recovery center. They would bring up unfounded rumors. This made me wonder, Why are my friends afraid of something that I know is just fine?

It occurred to me at a later age that perhaps the rumors and the wariness sprang from ignorance. Not in a malicious way, but in an unintentionally uninformed way. That is where the stigma of mental illness enters. What does
stigma
mean? Stigma is, by definition, a mark or stain of discredit. Think of it this way, if you only watched TV and read books about mental illness, would your view of mental illness differ from if you knew someone who suffered from a mental illness in real life? In our media, is mental illness shown in a certain way? Think of all the books and movies that you could read about GOING INSANE! The horror of the asylums? The Mad Genius. The characters on the verge: possessed or psychotic? Our culture is rife with grandiose and terrifying tales of losing one's mind. Stories that depict mental illness, more often than not, show it in a very scary negative, and often violent way. This all feeds a stigma of mental illness in our society. When I set out to write this book, I wanted to make sure that Mama didn't fall into that category, that she was realistic and whole.

As far as I see it, story immersion of any sort is an empathetic experience. In writing, in reading, in watching or playing, you have the chance to immerse yourself in another life. So while working on this story, I had the chance to understand Mama's backstory, her passions, her heartbreak, her goals. I had the chance to see how those might affect—be interpreted and misinterpreted—by those around her. I had the chance to work from the inside out and look at how similar Lucy and Mama were in their thinking, though different from each other in most aspects of their lives. They both have goals, have passions, have love for each other. They are not as different as they may seem at first blush. I hope that I have done the characters in this book justice and—even in a small way— made it easier for those who do not know people suffering from mental illness to recognize the humanity in us all.

 

While reading, you may have noticed that Lucy felt like she had to fix everything on her own. And at the same time, Mama felt alone in her loss of her mother and felt like she had to fix everything. Unfortunately, this isn't an abnormal feeling. But it isn't true! Did you know that 1 in 4 Americans will suffer from a mental illness in their lifetime? Luckily, there are some great resources that can help. I especially liked listening to the personal stories on each site.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
Personal stories about mental illness, online discussion groups, local NAMI resources and so much more: http://www.nami.org/

Mentalhealth.gov:
Hope and recovery stories, support networks, as well as information on health insurance and services: www.mentalhealth.gov

All Kinds of Minds (TED Talks):
For personal perspectives on mental illness: http://www.ted.com/playlists/9/all_kinds_of_minds.html

OK2Talk Campaign:
PSA campaign to make mental health a conversation, call a hotline, find resources and stories: www.ok2talk.org

National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):
For education, articles, research: http://www.nimh.nih.gov

American Psychiatric Association (APA):
For articles, research, and advocacy: www.psych.org

Ack
nowledgments

T
HERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO
contributed to the writing of this book. First off, thank you to Ma for bringing me to Waterbury to see the art installation and hear the voices at the state hospital. Thank you also for reading the manuscript in earlier drafts and steering me in the right direction with the details. Thank you to Carolyn Dobbins. Your book
What a Life Can Be: One Therapist's Take on Schizo-Affective Disorder
inspired and informed me and having your insight was instrumental to the credibility of the manuscript. Thank you to my UN Critique Group: Barbara Crispin, Tamara Ellis Smith, Cindy Faughnan, Trinity Peacock Broyles, Jennifer Wolf Kam, Sarah Wones Tomp, Sharry Phelan Wright, Cynthia Vaughan Granberg, and Sherry Shahan for encouraging me in the very first pages. Thank you to the VCFA and EMLA communities for sharing your worlds with me near and far. Thank you to Jessica Dainty Johns and Ginger Johnson for the writing days. Your steadfast diligence always inspires and pushes me forward. As always, thank you to the team at EMLA, especially super agent Ammi-Joan Paquette, for being in my corner. Thank you to the team at Philomel, but especially to my amazing editor, Jill Santopolo. You always ask the right questions and know how to stick the ending. This book wouldn't be what it is without you.

As always, thank you to my friends and family for putting up with me and cheering me on while working on this manuscript. Special thanks to my sisters, Casey, Moie, and Ambs, who are always an inspiration. Thanks to Ma and Pa for being great people. Your love and example always inspires me. And last but never least, thanks to my love, Howie, who gets me. You're the best.