CHEAP SMUT: Four Erotic Romance Novels (Boxed Set) (31 page)

KAT

Certainly no newcomer to having sex, I found it remarkable that Biscuit had left such an impact – sexually speaking. I was incapable of ridding myself of thoughts of him fucking me, and in all of my time away from him, I spent the majority of it thinking about the last time we had sex.

Convinced his big cock, long tongue, stamina, and willingness to try out every sexual position in the book was the reason for my mindless stumbling through the hallways of my college campus, I wandered aimlessly to my next class.

“You look like shit, Hooker,” Jennifer said with a laugh as I sat down beside her.

“Haven’t slept in a week,” I said over my shoulder as I lowered my book bag to the floor.

“Still boning that biker every night?” she whispered.

I nodded my head and grinned. “Oh yeah.”

“You’re crazy. He’s going to cut you in little chunks and put you in a steel drum in his basement,” she said.

I scrunched my nose, narrowed my eyes, and tilted my head her direction. “He’s a biker, not a serial killer.”

“What’s the difference?” she asked.

Her shit talking was beginning to annoy me. I realized Biscuit and I were only fucking, and we weren’t technically in a relationship, but to hear her talk the way she was about him irritated me. 

“Seriously, he’s pretty demanding when we’re fucking, but he’s really a nice guy. And he’s funny,” I explained.

“Get a picture of him yet?” she asked.

“Yeah, I took some the other day. He had on a wife beater, jeans, and some cool red suspenders. We were in the parking lot of the bar. He was just standing there and glanced over his shoulder, and I snapped a few pics. He got half pissed and made me suck his cock for it…Hold on,” I said as I reached into my book bag.

“He made you suck his cock because you took pictures of him?” she asked.

“Uh huh,” I said as I scrolled through my phone for the pic.

“Here,” I said as I handed her my phone.

Her eyes widened as she stared down at the screen of the phone.

“Holy Jesus. He looks mean. In like a really hot way. Dear god. Have one of his face?” she asked.

“Yeah, here,” I said as I flicked my finger across the screen.

A pic of his face I had taken on the same night appeared. She stared at it for a few seconds, flicked back to the pick of him glancing over his shoulder, and back to the one of his face. After a few seconds, she lifted my phone slightly, licked the screen, and handed it back to me.

“What the eff, Jen?” I snapped.

“Nothing. Good lord. I’m a sucker for guys with beards. Holy shit, Kat. Sorry. But yeah, I might need to borrow that later,” she said as she reached into her book bag.

I shoved my phone into my bag. “Nope. Not gonna happen.”

“Text it to me,” she said over her shoulder.

I shook my head and laughed. “No.”

“Hooker,” she said playfully.

“Skank,” I responded.

Jennifer and I had been friends since my freshman year. We not only played varsity volleyball as teammates, but shared the same major, and had virtually every class together. We were close, but we didn’t share the same views on all subjects, men included.

She was relieved when Kyle and I broke up, and even more at ease when he was placed in jail for abusing the girl he was fucking on the side. In the grand scheme of things, she wanted me to be happy, safe, and loved. Personally, I was willing to settle for happy, safe, and being fucked really hard, but that was a different story altogether.

As Mr. Salisbury walked into the classroom, I blinked my tired eyes and tried to remember where we’d left off. A lazy glance over my shoulder toward Jen revealed her jokingly reaching for my book bag, and I responded by kicking at her hand playfully.

“Stay out of there,” I whispered.

“I can’t,” she said.

Her playful nature after seeing his picture made me feel better about everything between us. I realized not every woman would see Biscuit as being attractive, but the fact she did allowed me to feel my decision to spend time with him wasn’t some crazy childish decision I had made.

Maybe it was a childish decision, but at least I was doing it with someone
hot
.

Someone hot who also had a big cock.

Not just
someone.

A biker with a big cock.

A biker with a big cock and a magical tongue.

As Mr. Salisbury began to speak to the class, my mind did what it had been doing for the last two weeks. It drifted off to thoughts of lying on my back with Biscuit’s face between my thighs and his tongue tickling my g-spot.

I didn’t know when he intended to stop fucking me, but if I had any say in the matter, it wouldn’t be any time soon.

He didn’t lie when he told me what he was going to do to me on the first night we had sex.

There was no doubt in my mind.

I was ruined.

BISCUIT

Being a patched member of a 1% club isn’t as easy as getting a tattoo, buying a Harley, and donning a pair of boots. It’s a way of life, a commitment, and more responsibility than most men can rightfully fathom. Select few men make it into 1% clubs, and even fewer are worth the salt in their sweat when it comes to being a true brother.

Jack’s being voted into the club went without a hitch, and now he was a fully patched member of the Selected Sinners MC. As Otis and Toad took him on a grand tour of the clubhouse, I stood in the corner of the shop doing what I did best.

“Alright. So I got her foot in my hand, and I’m stretching it up in the air like a rubber fuckin’ band. I’m about balls deep in this poor gal’s pussy, and I lean forward and bite the bottom of her ear and I ask her, I say,” I said. “
You know why that twat of yours is throbbin’?
So she turns her head to the side and her god damned eyes are watterin’, and she whimpers to me.”

I shrugged my shoulders, narrowed my eyes, and did my best to resemble a twenty-two-year-old college girl. “
No,
she says.”

“
It’s throbbin’ because you got a foot of Sinner cock in ya
, I tell her.” I lowered my shoulders and slapped Pete on the shoulder as I began to laugh. 

Out of my peripheral I saw Toad, Otis, and Jack walking up to the group. As I started to turn their direction, Otis taped me on the shoulder.

“Biscuit,” he said as he patted my shoulder.

“What’s shakin’ O?” I said as I turned to face him.

“Man wanted to talk to ya,” he said as he patted Jack on the shoulder.

I glared at Jack, wondering what his problem might be. Big or not, he damned sure wasn’t big enough to fuck with me. There wasn’t a man on this earth who I’d ever backed down from, and my first sure wasn’t going to be some 200 pound swole up weight lifter. After giving him a good solid minute of the ole Biscuit stink eye, I sighed and shifted my eyes to meet his.

“What can I help ya with?”

He stood his ground, tilted his head toward me, and responded. “Heard you were the one who put the money on my books.”

I shook my head and started to turn away. “Money came from the club.”

“Heard you were the one who
sent
me the money. The money the club raised for me.
You
were the one who put it on my books,” he responded. 

Wondering what his major malfunction might be, I glanced at Otis, turned toward Toad, and then back to Jack. “You got the right fella. Is there a problem?”

He extended his hand and narrowed his gaze. “Just wanted to personally thank ya for sending it. I appreciate ya. If you ever need anything, just let me know. Name’s Jack.
Big Jack
.”

That’s what I was thinking. You didn’t want none of this, did ya, big fella?

“Biscuit. Stick around and have a beer,” I chuckled.

He crossed his arms in the standard prison posture pose. “I’ll be back. Just got to see the boss about my cut.”

“I’ll be right here,” I said over my shoulder.

A few minutes later, they returned. As Otis and Toad stood behind, Jack approached me and stood quietly until I turned around.

Well, at least he’s respectful. He might not be all that bad after all.

“What’s shakin’ Big Jack?” I asked as I turned his direction.

“We were thinking about heading into town to the bar. Fellas and I were wondering if you’d want to roll with us?” he asked as he uncrossed his arms.

“Always up for a drink, sure. You ridin’ that old Softail of Toad’s?” I asked.

He nodded his head. “All I got for now.”

“Well, get you a frame, and I’ll build you a big inch motor for nothin’. How’s that? You’re goin’ to roll with the big boys here, you can’t be ridin’ that bobbed out softie all over the place. Damned thing ain’t got enough power to get out of its own way,” I said.

“Appreciate it,” he said.

“Well, let’s roll,” I said as I turned away from the fellas I was talking to.

“Fellas, we’ll catch up next time. I got shit to do,” I said over my shoulder as I walked out to the bagger.

As I reached the parking lot, I gazed over at Toad. Sitting on his bagger with the motor idling, the bike was rumbling like a top fuel dragster. His new cams sounded good, and provided him with plenty of power. No match for my bike, and probably no match for Otis’ either, it suited him well. I glanced at Otis as I fired my bike up, and then turned toward Jack.

Riding in even numbered groups was much more satisfying to me than riding in odd numbers. Odd numbered groups when riding two abreast always left one man in the rear alone. Riding in even numbered groups always left me feeling like it was truly a group of brothers riding together.

As the four of us rode out of the lot, I pulled to the front, glanced over my shoulder, and grinned.

“Loser buys the first round,” I said as I twisted the throttle to full throttle.

As the bike lurched forward and I slid around the corner onto College Drive, I guessed
someone
had to be in the rear – at least this time.

And it damned sure wasn’t going to be me.

BISCUIT

Hands down, winning will always beat losing, no matter what the stakes might be. I arrived about a full minute ahead of the group, and had time to get off my bike and strike a winner’s pose at the front door before they even rolled into the lot. As they rolled up to the edge of the sidewalk, I exhaled and looked at my watch as if I’d been there for a week waiting.

“Throat’s parched, fellas, you finally ready to get a drink?” I asked as Jack shut off his bike.

“Fuck you, Biscuit,” Toad said as he got off his bagger.

“God damned thirsty, that’s what I am,” I said as I opened the door.

The fellas walked past me and over to a booth on the right side. I followed close behind, knowing the sweet taste of a free drink is always more savored than one a man has to purchase. As I sat down in the booth, Toad turned toward me and cleared his throat. 

“Otis tells me you been fucking some college girl who works here. What the hell’s wrong with you, Biscuit?” he asked.

I laughed as I reached up and stroked my beard. “Shit brother, ain’t a damned thing wrong with me, wait ‘till you see her. I think you’ll agree Biscuit’s doin’ pretty damned good with this one, college girl or not. We’ve been fuckin’ like a couple of Catholic rabbits. That girl’s got the sexual drive of a three peckered billy goat.”

Otis nodded his head. “She is cute as fuck.”

“Right now, I think I’d fuck anyone who agreed to hold still long enough for me to poke ‘em,” Jack said with a laugh. “And that’d be about ten seconds worth, it’s been quite a stretch for me.”

I turned toward Jack as I tried to imagine spending ten years or whatever in prison without pussy. Hell, a weekend was enough to make me jittery.

“I bet you’re hornier than a fourteen year old boy who just found daddy’s Playboy collection,” I said as I slapped my hand against his shoulder.

He coughed a laugh. “Pretty damned close.”

“Kitchen closes in twenty minutes if you want food. If not, the bar’s open till two. Want to see a menu?” the waitress said as she walked up to the table.

“You fellas wanna just get some beers?” I asked.

Otis shook his head and laughed. “Get fucking
Budweiser
. I don’t want Toad trying to order beers. We’ll end up with some pale ale orange apple cider bullshit.”

“Four Bud’s?” the waitress asked.

“Hold up, now.
God damn
. Do we look like four beers is going to do us much good? We’ll drink four of them fuckers before you can get back to the bar. Make it twelve. We’ll go through the first four in about a
minute
,” I growled.

She looked like she needed to be riding a pole at the amateur night for MILF’s at the strip club. Five foot six, and a hundred pounds, thirty of which was tits, she was damned near as ugly as a mud fence.

She cocked her head to the side and grinned. “I’ll bring eight and as soon as you set your empties at the side of the table, I’ll bring four more. You don’t want to drink hot beers, do you?”

“Smart girl right there,” I responded as I pointed at her. “Make it eight.”

“Be right back,” she said as she walked away.

“So you fellas take any long rides? Go to Sturgis?” Jack asked.

I leaned forward and began to speak, and before I got a word out, Otis responded.

“Don’t go to Sturgis, but we make some pretty good runs. Austin for the ROT Rally, and down to Phoenix for the Arizona Bike Week. Some of the fellas go down to Daytona, but it’s a long ride and still winter here when that fucker pops off,” Otis replied.

“No Sturgis, huh?” Jack asked.

Toad shook his head and chuckled. “Sturgis became a trailer-fest. Every swinging dick in the country drags his bike there on a trailer and then rides the fucker around town for a few days. Some of the fellas head up there alone, but we don’t make a club run.”

Jack nodded his head and grinned as the waitress shoved the beers to the center of the table. I reached for a beer and raised it to my lips as I wondered how long it had been since Jack had a drink of cold beer.

“Never cared for that rally myself; bunch of amateurs,” Jack said as he took a swallow of beer.

I agreed wholeheartedly. Sturgis had gone from the best biker gathering in the USA to the most fucked up dipshit fest in the nation.

“Here’s to being free, riding hard, and sleeping on a soft bed,” Jack said as he raised his beer bottle in the air.

We all tilted our bottles toward his and took a drink. After no more than lowering the bottle from my lips, Jack swung his beer to the center of the table again, and grinned.

“And here’s to Slice’s Ol’ Lady Avery. Without her, I’d still be eating Star Crunch and drinking cold instant coffee in my cell,” he said as he tilted his bottle forward.

“Damned fine woman right there,” I agreed.

A few seconds of silence was my invitation, and as the fellas continued to drink their beers, I figured I’d break Jack in right and give him one of my best stories. I leaned into the center of the table, inhaled a deep breath, and as I exhaled, began telling my tale.

“So, we were supposed to leave to go to the ROT Rally in about a week. There was this cute little Asian bitch working at this Thai place, and at the time, I hadn’t fucked me an Asian yet. So I’d been goin’ in there and bein’ sweet on this little bitch,” I said.  

I glanced around the table. All eyes were on me, just like I liked ‘em to be. As I lifted my beer to my lips and held it in place, I continued. “So she’s a little fucker ‘bout four foot nothin’ and has these little titties that look big because she’s so damned tiny. Had an ass about the size of a Jonathan apple, but on them skinny little legs and against that eighteen inch waist it looked like Kim fucking Kardashian’s ass. So anyway, we’re a week out, and I head in there to get me some Asian pussy before the run.”

“So I get in there, and she ain’t my waitress, this other cute little chick is. But that ain’t what this is about. So I order my food and get that spicy peanut chicken shit they sell. You guys eat Thai food?”

“Had some,” Toad said.

Jack shook his head and laughed. “Don’t fuck with the stuff.”

I turned to Otis. His face filled with disgust.

“Well, lemme tell ya, it ain’t spicy, it’s fucking
hot
. So anyway, I order this shit, and after a bit, a big plate of it shows up. Now I’m about half pissed this little Vietnamese princess ain’t working, so I gobble this shit down. Now I’m waitin’ on my check, and my gut starts making them noises. You know them noises when you
know
something’s gonna happen and it ain’t gonna be good?”

Jack nodded his head and lifted his beer. “Like after eatin’ a burrito out of the toilet.”

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” I snapped back. “A
toilet
burrito?”

Jack chuckled. “Contraband. If you get caught with them, you go to the hole, so you can’t leave ‘em out in the cell, and you need to keep ‘em cold anyway. So the Mexican’s would steal the food from the kitchen and smuggle it to the cells and make up burritos. They’d sell ‘em for stamps and store. They’d come wrapped in a piece of plastic, like from a garbage bag. The end was tied and it’d be airtight, and we kept ‘em in the toilet to keep ‘em cold until we wanted to eat ‘em. Toilet’s kind of like a ‘fridge in the joint. Got sick on a few of those fuckers, that’s for sure. Sorry for interrupting, go ahead.”

“You ate shit out of a toilet?” I asked.

Jack nodded his head and grinned.

“Didn’t have a choice. Food, drinks, everything. You tie a string to it, shove it in the toilet, and pull it out when you want it. If the cops come, you flush it. After they leave, if they don’t find the end of your string, you pull it back out of the sewer and either eat it or drink it.”

I narrowed my eyes as I tried to imagine eating anything out of a toilet. “God damn.”

“Go ahead,” Jack said. “I apologize for interrupting.”

You’re alright in my book, big boy. I like it that you’re already schooled in the respect department.

I took a quick drink of beer and continued. “Okay, so I’m waitin’ on my check, and my gut’s a rumblin’ and makin’ noise, and I know it’s time to go. I reach into my wallet, pull out a twenty, and drop it on the table. I run out to my bike and ride that fucker home like I’d stole it. Whole way, it’s a coin toss as to whether I’m gonna shit my pants or make it on time. I pull that fucker in the drive, hop off, and run into the house, dropping my pants as I’m runnin’.”

“So I get into the shitter, and just explode. A miracle I even made it, I’m tellin’ ya. So for about four hours, I got the shits. Now for situations like this, I keep them pills, the anti-diarrhea stuff,
Imodium AD
. I take about ten of those fuckers and finally it stops.”

I took another quick drink and raised my hand to silence the group from another interruption. As I set my bottle back onto the table, I widened my eyes and continued.

“So that ain’t even the story, the story’s
this
. I took so many of those damned pills that I didn’t shit for a week, and we got the rally comin’ up in two days. Finally, it came. When it did, it was a week’s worth, and about the size of a ten year old boy’s arm. Fucker ripped my ass to shreds. Now, although I finally took a shit, I’m in pretty sad shape and I got a hemorrhoid the size of a Johnsonville Bratwurst hanging out of my ass.”

Jack chuckled. “God damn. That’s a bitch. And the run’s a few days out?”

I nodded my head and grinned. “Precisely. Two days until we’re gonna spend ten hours on the road, and I’ve got a little friend hangin’ outta my ass like I just gave birth. So I know I can’t make it with this hot dog hanging out of my ass. Hell, I can’t even sit down. Sleepin’ on my belly and shit, and I fuckin’
hate
sleepin’ on my belly, I’m a back sleeper. So I get me a rubber glove and I poke this fucker back up in there. Hell, after a few minutes, I feel pretty good and forget it’s even there. I stand up and take a few steps.”

I paused for effect and leaned into the table.

“And
bloop
- out the fucker comes. Another rubber glove, poke him back in there, and everything’s fine. Take a few steps and
bloop
- out he comes again. Now I
know
I can’t ride to Austin with my finger in my ass, so I start to thinkin’. And all of a sudden it comes to me, so I have Tater come get me in his truck and take to me that dildo shop out east. After a look around a bit, I find one of them butt plugs. Did you know they come in about ten different sizes?”

“Had no idea,” Jack responded.

“Well they do. Picked me out a little red number on the small side of things. And it had this little ring in the end made it look like a pacifier. So Tater takes me home, and I glove up, shove the hotdog inside, and poke the little pacifier in my ass. After I wiggle around a bit, it feels pretty good. Now as far as I’m concerned, problem’s solved. I’m a day out and ready to ride. Just for shits and grins, later on that night, I reach back there to check on things, you know, make sure everything’s where it should be. And I’ll be damned if that little ring, you know the part you hold on to? It’s fucking gone!”

Jack’s eyes widened. “Huh?”

“Yep. Fucker sucked right up there in my ass. So, now I got to go fishin’ for this little fucker. I glove up
again
, stick my finger up there, and fish around and find it. I pull her out, wash her up, and grease it with Vaseline and poke it back inside. Couple a minutes, and
bloop
. You guessed it, it disappears.”

“So I just say fuck it. At this point in time, I feel pretty good, other’n knowing I got a butt plug in my ass. I hop on the bike and ride out to the snow ski and mountain climbin’ store out on Central. Buy me one of those spring loaded carabiner D-rings. After I rode home, I gloved up one last time, found the little fucker, pulled it out, and hooked that D-Ring to it. Then I shoved her back in, and let the hook just hang out of my ass.”

Jack shook his head and narrowed his gaze in apparent disbelief. “Rode to Austin with a rappelling D-ring hanging out of your ass?”

“Sure as fuck did, left it there for a fucking
week
. Don’t know if it was a conscious thing, or just because I had that little rubber plug in there or what, but I didn’t shit for a week. When we got home, I reached back, grabbed the D-ring and gave it a tug. Damned thing popped out, and my little friend the hotdog was gone. Problem solved.”

Jack reached over and slapped his hand against my shoulder. “You’re funnier than a motherfucker.”

“Club joker, that’s me,” is said.

Jack whistled. “Holy. Fucking. Shit. Now,
that’s
a woman.”

I turned to face the door. A six foot tall blonde supermodel walked into the bar, clearly out of place in a bar with a bunch of bikers. As I studied her and began wondering if she could lift her thirty-six inch long legs over her shoulders, Otis stood and turned around.