Cherry Bomb (27 page)

I placed the letter into an envelope, sealed
it, and then kissed it. That god awful clawing in my chest set in.
All I wanted to do was protect her, instead I was going to rip her
life apart.

I placed the envelopes in my briefcase and
picked up a pair of jeans and t-shirt off the top of the
dresser.

Thirty minutes later, I was showered,
dressed, and waiting at the front door for Grace.

She bounced down the stairs in a smocked
gingham dress, her eyes glimmering with delight. “I wore my new
dress for you. Do you like it? Claire bought it for me.”

“I love it. You’re the prettiest date in the
world.”

She smiled and made a little curtsying
motion. I took her hand and placed it in the crook of my elbow.
“Come on, little lady,” I said and led her to the car. “We have to
drop a package off at a friend’s house then it will be a Drake and
Grace day,” I added before boosting Grace into her car seat and
placing my briefcase in the front passenger seat. I opened the car
door and let out my first deep breath in days. I had done all I
could for Cherry. It was up to her where we went from here.

“Mommy, I saw Drake outside. Is he coming to
play today?”

Were the two phrases that struck fear into my
heart. I didn’t have a clue how to tell Henry that Drake was not
coming back. The men in my son’s life and trust did not exactly go
hand in hand. But the sentence that stopped me dead in my tracks
was, "Drake was outside." I raced to the bathroom window and peeked
out at the driveway.

“Baby, no one is here. Now go get ready.
You’re going to day school while Mommy works.”

Amy had sent numerous texts informing me the
publisher was getting agitated at my most recent MIA status. She
even hinted that I was hiding a new secret life. If she only
knew.

A quick glance in the dresser mirror revealed
a thirty-six-year-old woman that had eaten from the tree of
knowledge. The make-up covered the scars and imperfections but
nothing was capable of covering up the emotions in my eyes. I had
experienced death, hurt, and heartbreak but also life, love, and
great joy.

I twisted my brown, dull hair into a knot on
top of my head then straightened the collar on the pale blue blouse
I was wearing. I glanced down at the black peekaboo heels that were
already cutting into the side of my feet.
Sorry, feet.
I
knew I would pay for wearing them but I needed the boost of
confidence that only a great pair of heels could bring.

“Noah, Henry, are you ready?” I shouted down
the hall. “Mommy is already running late.”

I took one more look in the entry hall window
before my boys joined me at the door leading to the garage.

“It’s not fair. Ruby doesn’t have to go to
baby school,” Noah said and crossed his arms in a look of
defiance.

“I love day school. We make stuff," Henry
chimed in as he ran into the entry hall with both shoes on the
wrong feet.

“You would because you’re a baby,” Noah said
then pushed Henry on the shoulder.

“Noah be nice, now, and help your brother
with his shoes.”

“Why did you even have him,” Noah said,
rolled his eyes, and bent down to fix Henry’s shoes.

We had him because one night I tried to
get your dad to love me,
I thought.

“Cause they knew they could do better than
you,” Henry answered when Noah slipped his last shoe on.

“Boys, stop it.”

I yanked their backpacks off the hook, and
started down the steps into the garage when I saw it. A manila
envelope with a small, white one taped on the top of it.

Please read first
was written in a
very familiar handwriting on top of the smaller one. Henry had been
right. Drake had been there. I tucked them into my purse, and
gently pushed Noah to the car where Henry was already seated and
buckled in.

Thirty minutes later, I had drop the boys off
at school and had pulled into the parking garage at work. I gripped
my purse to head inside when I slipped out the envelops instead. I
stared at them for longer than I would ever admit, terrified of
what they held. After taking a deep breath, I slid my finger along
the seal, opening it. The letter fell out onto my hand. I unfolded
the note and settled down in the seat, and reluctantly read the
first sentence.

What James said was true. I was paid to
either prove you were with someone else or sleep with you
myself.

I stiffened, my heart catching in my throat.
At least he wasn’t lying. But to see the words and know the only
thing we truly had between us was a paycheck, cut. I couldn’t
decide if I should read anymore or simply toss it all away. But
instead of listing the ramification of what that decision would
mean, I kept on reading.

My beautiful soda pop, he did buy a business
in Raleigh, NC for his wife. Ten years ago, the hospital hired a
twenty-one-year-old research assistant by the name of Brenda
Taylor.

My hand twisted the corner of the paper. My
life as I knew it vanished. It was all a lie. A big fat facade.
Just the idea of it all sent a violent shiver through me.

I held my hand over my mouth, positive I was
about to be sick.
A wife, another fucking wife. My God, I wanted
Drake to hold me too.
I wanted him to wrap his arms around my
waist and never let me go. But should I want that. Our brief affair
was built on a lie.

My heart pounded in my chest as my reality
shrunk into blackness. I registered that there was a dozen or so
people walking in and out of the building. Just a normal day for
all of them, they didn’t have a clue that I sat in my car with my
reality crumbling away.

A week before Noah was born she gave birth
to a son, James Allen Webb Jr., JJ for short.

A son the same age as ours.
James
always wanted a son named after him, and I could never understand
why only a few weeks before Noah was born he suddenly had a change
of heart. But now I understood, Noah wasn’t his firstborn son. He
was the son that kept him from the one he really loved.

I opened the bigger envelope and pulled out a
picture of the woman James had tried to turn me into the last
sixteen years, young, beautiful, petite, and blonde, and in her
arms was a carbon copy of my husband. He was definitely Henry’s
brother.

He even seduced your boss, Amy, to
help him out with his plans.

No wonder, other than my kids, I had only
ever felt connected to one other person, Drake Hart. He had been
the only one that had chosen me over James.

But the part hardest for me to understand was
that I didn’t give a damn. No tears started, no yearning to make
James pay, just a deep need to hear Drake tell me it would all be
okay, hear his voice repeat the words he wrote in print.

I love you, Drake.

He didn’t leave me and most importantly,
that he loved me.

My heart collapsed. It stopped beating with
one final thud.

I grabbed my purse and shoved the papers into
it, still not looking at any of the evidence Drake had gathered. I
didn’t need to see proof that James was a loser.

Getting out of the car, it hit me what I had
to do. I took the elevator in the parking garage to level four and
stepped out onto the vestibule and a set of revolving door leading
into The Showcase. I was so proud of myself when I landed the
freelance writing job there only five years earlier. I had put my
dream of writing to the side when I married James, and this was I
believed the opportunity to revise my dream and be a mother too.
Now I had a new life to live.

“Good morning, Cherry,” the receptionist,
Maggie, said.

I paused to admire her indigo-colored sheath
dress. She was African-American, and extremely fit and pretty. The
only 'flaw' James could have found in her was her hair which happen
to be pitch-black and cut into a sleek bob, not long and blonde as
he required. I lightly chuckled; It was quite possibly the only
thing that kept him from trying to stick his dick into her.

She buzzed me into the main office space, and
as I stepped through the double-door entrance, I flipped
around.

“Maggie, do you have a box I could use.”

“Sure,” she said as her head disappeared
under the large crescent-shaped desk. “Here.” She reappeared
holding a medium size box.
Perfect.
“Oh yeah, Amy, needs to
see you ASAP.”

“Can you let her know she can find me in my
office?” I stated which caused an unfamiliar smile to appear on my
face. It had been ten days since a natural smile flirted with my
lips.

I made a left then a right, and ended up in a
formerly open board room, which was now partitioned off into
cubicles. The smallest one was mine. I headed straight to it and
started to gather any personal belongings I had inside the box. I
had decorated my desk with framed pictures of the kids and one of
James and I on are last trip to Cabo San Lucas. I placed the kids’
pictures in the box and turned the one of James and I face down on
the desk.

“Cherry, what are you doing?”

I braced my hands on the desk to face my
boss. “Are you going to tell me about you and my husband?” I asked
then crossed my arms.

Amy fell down in the chair in front of my
desk. Her hands shook in her lap. She brought one hand up to her
face when she finally lifted her gaze. “What are you talking about?
I barely know James.”

“Is that you barely know him socially or in
the biblical sense?” I leaned back on my chair, fully aware for
once I had the upper hand. Amy and I once shared a bond, I viewed
as special. But obviously it was entirely one-sided.

She sighed, then her words flowed in a rush.
“I never meant to hurt you. But he’s so good to me. He buys me
flowers, tells me I’m beautiful. He is the first person to make me
feel loved.”

“He once made me feel that way too.” I slid
the last of my things into the box. “I’m resigning effected
immediately.”

I picked up the box and started to walk down
the hallway when I heard Amy chasing me and was saying she was
sorry and didn’t mean to hurt me over and over again. I stopped but
never looked back. “The sad thing is that it doesn’t hurt. Believe
me when I tell you that you are more than welcome to him." I
smiled. "Thanks for sending Master to me too."

I started back walking and never slowed down
until I was back in the safety of my car.

I drove through town jamming to Metallica’s
One, headed to the one place just a day ago I never believed I
would ever go again. His beloved club. It had been ten hours since
I first read those words that would forever change the trajectory
of my life.

I had dropped Drake’s investigative work off
at my lawyers, never looking at any of it, knowing Drake’s work
would be thorough and meticulous. My suspicion was affirmed when
the lawyer’s eyebrow raised then a smile appeared and he confirmed
James would only see my kids in the form of supervised visitation
from this day forward. He could have his other family but mine
would be sheltered from anymore of his lies.

I picked the boys up from day school and took
them and Ruby out for ice cream and to catch a matinee at the
movies. I never comprehend what a burden James had been in my life
until Drake removed the mask that had been cloaking my life with
him.

I had dropped the kids off at home and
arranged to have Pat keep them for the night. Before I could even
begin to try to explain to them this sins of their father, I had a
few things to figure out myself.

My fingers drummed along on the steering
wheel, staring unseeing at the bright lights of the city, lost in
my own little fantasy land. I was high on life. A wonderful,
exhilarating high. My life with James had been one giant smoke
screen. But Drake had shed a light on it. I could see clearly now.
I had given James the last piece of me. It was time to move on, and
I knew who I wanted to move on with. My affair with Drake might
have been brief but my heart bled to give us a chance.

I pulled into the side road leading to the
one place where I discovered who I really was. The Dungeon. The
world viewed this place taboo, but to me it was safety and
security; the way soft, well –worn rope felt against my tender
flesh. Discovering it and Master made me for once feel beautiful
and loved.

The parking lot was swarming with cars and
people. The nerves finally set in. I parked and crawled out of the
car, almost forgetting the heels I was wearing until my feet
pounded the pavement.
Damn, puppies, I need you to walk so
please don’t give out on me now.

A couple walked by. The man was dressed in
leather pants with matching suspenders and no shirt. As odd as he
looked it didn’t compare to the lady, she had on a black
patent-leather bikini with carefully placed holes to expose her
pierced nipples. I wrung my hands over my neck, missing the choker
Drake had given me after spotting the thick leather collar around
the lady’s neck.

I glanced around the parking space, some of
the people were dressed as if they were headed to a ballgame, a few
dressed in suits and gowns, and others were dressed like the first
couple I witnessed. I had always viewed people as pack animals.
Always letting the hierarchy dictate how they were supposed to
move, dress, basically live. To be an outcast was an unthinkable
fate by most. Luckily, I didn’t fall in that category. I looked
around one more time, hoping Drake didn’t find solitude within this
group.

I straightened my back and stuck out my chin
as I opened the heavy glass doors, I would never let them sense my
fear. Immediately, I was greeted by a blonde. She had to be a least
five foot ten inches and had a waist so small I could easily fit my
hands around it. She wore a shocking hot pink skin-tight dress. I
had reassured myself more than once that both Drake and I had a
history. The only difference was my history was with James. His was
with the likes of women like her.