Chills & Thrills: Three Novel Box Set (27 page)

As she made 
menudo
 for their supper, she glanced out the kitchen window to see Alex and Hector playing stickball. 
I wish I could give him more. I wish he had a father. Maybe I should never have run from Mexico. My child has a right to a father, like any other boy
.

Marta's mind traveled back to the day she had seen Antonio's pregnant wife. Alex not only has a father out there, but sisters or a brother and sister. Marta's insecurities about keeping Alex away from his father weighed heavily on her mind. She felt selfish for preventing the boy from knowing him. Then she stiffened and thought about how selfish Antonio had been. She reassured herself that he had no right to her child, none at all. However, she knew that was wrong as well. As much as she tried to hate Antonio, she couldn't.

The aroma of the 
menudo
 filled their small home. As Marta began making the tortillas, there was a tap on the front door.

"It's open, Alejandro." There was no response. "
Ay, niño.
 Mama is too busy for your games today." There was another knock on the door. This time it was louder and more decisive. "Okay, okay, silly boy, I'm game." Marta opened the front door, expecting to catch Alejandro hiding behind the oak tree in the front yard. Instead, it was Antonio. She jumped back, feeling her jaw drop open as she let out a startled yelp. It was as if it were only yesterday. He looked the same: that regal stance, that chiseled face and those serene eyes, looking right into her. There he stood — Antonio Espinoza. She had dreamed about this day for years, but now that the day had come, she was at a loss for words. Her shaking hands covered her open mouth.

"Hello," Antonio said, finally breaking the silence.

"Hello," she uttered through her palms.

"May I come in and speak with you?"

"I don't know." She dropped her arms and shook her head.

"Please, Marta. Please, let me talk with you." His heart raced, studying her. He couldn't force her to let him in, but standing there with her, seeing her — she hadn't changed. She was more beautiful than he'd remembered.

“You can't stay long. We're getting ready to eat." She didn't know what else to say, how to respond or act.

"
We
, meaning your husband and son?"

"No. Only Alejandro and me. I've never married."

"Alejandro. A beautiful name."

"He is a beautiful child."

"I know."

"Well, this is my home. It is nothing like you're used to."

"It is lovely, Marta."

She took him through their small home. The old hardwood floors creaked beneath their shoes. They were clean but badly in need of repair. Their furniture was sparse and old, and the blue-and-white curtains had doubtless been handmade. But the home was immaculate, and held a charm that only Marta could've given it.

She led Antonio into the family room, which appeared to also serve as a bedroom for Marta. The couch, shabby and lumpy, was a sofa bed from where he sat down on the sofa, he could see the hallway leading to a bathroom and his son's bedroom.

Marta saw him looking at Alex's room.

"Would you like to see it?"

"Yes, very much."

"Go ahead."

He peered into his son's bedroom. It was the one room that was bright and cheerful. There were posters of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck on the walls. A small rocking chair sat in the corner next to the closet. There was a large wooden box filled to the brim with toys, and his stuffed animals lounged on the red comforter that covered his twin-size bed. There were several children's books on top of a white wicker dresser.

The toys that filled it and the colors of the room made up for its small size. He thought of Rosa and Felicia's rooms at home, which were three times larger. His daughters had toys galore, but he saw that his son was far from neglected, and this pleased him.

"He likes Mickey Mouse," Marta remarked.

"I see. Has he been to Disneyland?"

"No. I've been wanting to take him, but with work and everything… I'm saving our money as well."

"I understand."

"Would you like some coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Marta went back into the kitchen, while Antonio lingered in Alejandro's doorway. When he turned around to see Marta walking into the main living area and setting down two cups of coffee, the light came through the window and caught the ends of her long, dark hair, making them glisten.

He walked over and sat down in the chair across from her. She smiled, and he knew that she felt as uncertain about this meeting as he was. Yet in an odd way it felt comfortable being together again. The love they'd felt for each other hadn't dissipated over time. It couldn't have.

"Does my son know about me?"

"Not much."

"I see. You've been saving the money I sent you?"

"For his education."

"That's good. Do you need more?"

"No, thank you. We do fine."

"I've missed you," he blurted. “I would have helped you with the baby. Why didn't you come to me?" If only she had come to him.

She paused before answering. “Is that what you would have wanted, Antonio? Come to you and your wife to tell you both the news that I was going to have your baby? And what would you have done?"

"Helped you."

"Helped me 
how
? By seeing that I got out of the country and out of your life. Helped me. I didn't want your help. I did what needed to be done without you."

"You know I never would have caused you so much pain intentionally."

"But you 
did
. And you 
did
 do it intentionally, regardless of what you say now. You knew I loved you. You made promises to me — promises that you knew you could never keep. You lied to me. And your kind of help is not what my son and I need. The only reason I even accept your money each month is to fulfill a dream I have of seeing Alejandro graduate from college one day.”

"My love for you was never a lie." She was being foolish. How could she doubt his love? “Your pride stands in your way.”

"You expect me to believe you about loving me? I may have been naive then, but I am not ignorant now. And as for my pride, all I can say is, if you call honesty pride, then you are the one who is ignorant and shameful."

"I am not lying to you. I did love you. I still do," he whispered. "I've always loved you. You have to understand who I am, and what I represent. I could not hurt my children in such a way."

"But you did hurt your child. Your son. Do you think it has been easy for Alejandro to grow up without a father? Do you think this has been easy for me? I am both his mother and his father.”

"The truth is, I felt scared and trapped. I loved you, yes; but I also loved my wife. I wanted to come to you, be with you. But by the time I came to my senses, you had already left, and I had no idea you were pregnant. If I had known, I would have searched for you."

"But you did find me, and you found out about the baby."

"Yes, but by that time I realized that you hated me."

"I did."

The tears in Marta's eyes betrayed her. She had never hated him. Hatred was not part of who she was. "Did you really?" He leaned in close to her and touched her hand.

"You bastard." She looked down at the floor and back up again. Tears flooded her eyes. He kissed her gently on the cheek.

"You bastard," she repeated, balling her fists up.

"I am so sorry I ever hurt you. I would give my life if I could take away the pain I have caused. I would do anything for you. I have suffered, and thought about you, and longed for you every day since you left. You are the only one who has ever seen my soul. I know now what a mistake I made, letting you go out of my life. I am not happy, Marta."

"I am sorry. But you made your choice long ago."

"There is still time."

"There is no time."

"Listen. Please. Hear me out." She protested. He placed a finger over her lips. "Life passes quickly each day, too quickly. You are the one who made happiness a reality for me. I want you back in my life. I want you and Alejandro to come back to Colombia with me. I want you to be my wife."

"You are not thinking."

"No, it's true. I didn't plan this, but as soon as I saw you again, I knew."

"You have a wife. Go back to her. Leave us alone."

"She knows I am not happy. She is not a spiteful woman. She will go easily, once I pay her a lot of money."

"Money and a great deal of pain. Spiteful or not, I could never hurt someone else to benefit myself. You see, Antonio, I am not like you."

"Please think about it."

"There is nothing to think about."

"Give us another chance."

"Why? So you can tuck me away in some apartment and make me your prostitute whenever you feel the urge?"

"You were never that. I have already told you how much I loved you, and love you still."

Marta grew silent and stared at him. He felt as if she were looking straight through him. She sighed. "I have waited to hear those words for so many years — too many, maybe. Now that I hear them, they don't mean what I once thought they would. I may live here with Alejandro in this small house in this rundown neighborhood, which really isn't so bad because we all know and take care of each other here. We help one another when it is necessary. I may not possess much, and I work long, hard hours for what I do have. But to be honest with you, I like my life here. I have only myself to depend upon. And my child is happy. We have clothes to wear, and food to eat, and, yes, Alejandro is quite intelligent and getting a good education. As much feeling as I may still have in my heart for you, I can't go back with you. I will not take another woman's husband. It would be wrong and deceitful. It would ruin any love we ever had or might rekindle together."

He smiled at her, although he felt like crying — his heart breaking. She was still the good-hearted and loving woman she'd always been: never putting herself first, but always caring about what might happen to others. She was the one pure person he'd ever known. "I understand." He wished he didn't.

"Thank you."

"Answer me one thing, truthfully."

"Yes?"

"
Do
 you still love me?"

She folded her hands in her lap and crossed her legs. "Antonio Espinoza, you would have to be a fool not to know the answer to that. But if you must hear me say it, then, of course, I still love you. I always have and I always will. You do not see another man in my house, do you? Nor will you, ever. I gave you my heart as a girl, and that love was true and will be forever. No man could ever take your place."

Antonio nodded. A mixture of relief, bliss, and sadness engulfed him as her words penetrated his heart. She stood up and walked into the kitchen to stir the 
menudo
. Selfishly, he liked the fact that there had been no other men in her life. But he also pitied her because, like her, he knew what it was to have your heart stolen, so that you could never truly love another.

"Would you like to have dinner with us?" Marta asked him from the kitchen.

He wanted to, to see and talk with his son, look into the child's eyes and maybe in some way the boy would recognize him and simply by seeing him would on some level know that he was his father. “I can't. I have to go.” As hard as it was to leave her, and not have the pleasure of meeting child, he knew the pain of having to leave Alejandro after meeting him would far outweigh the pain of going now. Antonio wasn't sure that he would be able to leave after having dinner with them.

She nodded and opened the door.

He kissed her on the cheek and walked away, tears blurring his vision.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

EMILIO SIPPED A DRINK AND SILENTLY COUNTED HIS blessings: 
Levine was dead. Antonio was preoccupied, as usual. Javier was the big fat pushover he'd always been. And as for him, he was regularly getting laid by his brother's beautiful wife.

 “Beautiful but tragic, tragic but beautiful," he muttered. One day his brother's entire empire would be his. But he realized that patience was a virtue. Meanwhile, he would take all that he could for as long as possible.

He wasn't ready to make any major moves yet. But he 
did
 need another player on his side, so he decided to meet with Pedro. If the two of them could get together, it wouldn't take long before Emilio was running the show. He knew that Javier thought of Pedro like a son; but he also knew that Pedro was a sneaky weasel, a man who'd murdered his own father — a fact that endeared him to Emilio.

"Señor?"

"Sí."
 His thoughts were interrupted by one of his handful of regular whores.

"
Señor
 Torres is here to see you."

"Show him in, please."

Emilio was seated on the balcony outside his large apartment, overlooking the town of Calí leading back into the sparsely populated jungles of Colombia. As usual, Pedro appeared in a charcoal designer suit and tie, attire he had adopted in imitation of his mentor, Javier.

"Hello! Hello! So good of you to come, my friend
.
" Emilio held out his hand, which Pedro grabbed and shook forcefully. "Good morning." He smiled. "You may go," he said to the fair-haired Spanish girl who had shown Pedro out to the terrace. He took a cigar from a small case on the glass table next to him. "Would you like one?"

"No, thank you," Pedro replied.

"A drink, maybe?"

"No, nothing, thanks. I'm curious about why I'm here. You said it was an urgent matter. And more so, I'm curious about why you instructed me not to inform Javier of this visit. I had to jostle my way around his questions, and I've reserved a flight back home early in the morning."

"You see, my friend, I have a proposition for you."

"What kind of proposition?"

"Business."

"We both work for Antonio and Javier. I'm certain that if there were something we needed to meet about, 
they
 would have called the meeting themselves. So let me set you straight before you say something that may turn out to have repercussions. I respect my job and I value your family. I honor all the good both Javier and Antonio have done for me. But I know you, Emilio. You are a greedy man who will sacrifice anything or anyone to achieve your goals. But I am loyal, and I will not harm those who have treated me well."

"My, my, my, but you are suspicious. I only invited you here so that we could get to know one another better. It is my understanding that we will be working more closely together in future. And I agree with you completely. Loyalty is vital. I understand you value 
loyalty 
in the same manner you value your family." Emilio watched Pedro flinch.

"Javier 
is
 my family."

"Hmmm, I see. I'm not trying to harm anyone. I thought it might be a good idea if we became better friends. You 
do
 realize that someday all of this will be 
our
 empire,” Emilio remarked, gesturing to the streets of Calí. “Right now, our organization is nothing compared to that of, say, the Italians. But in time we too, will be able to compete with each and every organization, until 
we
 are the ones on top. We will own South America. There is no doubt in my mind that the Colombian crops have the potential to make us more money than we ever dreamed of, and they will make us the kings of the world."

Pedro pulled his chair closer to Emilio and got right in his face. "You are as transparent as a guilty woman who has betrayed her man. I will not have any part of this scheme you've hatched against your brother and Javier. I have no desire to take down the two people who have put me in my present position. If you were as smart as you think you are, then you would hang onto the coattails of your superiors. That is the only way you will ever be in charge of this organization. If you'll please excuse me, I have a real meeting in an hour. I would like to go back to my hotel for a few moments. Thank you for your hospitality." Pedro got up from his chair and casually strolled through Emilio's apartment and out the door.

Emilio slammed his fist against the glass table and took a large swallow of his drink. “Pedro Torres had better watch his back, because the prodigal son will be sorry someday his 
new
 loyalty is so goddamned pure!"