Chinese Ghost Fables 1 (7 page)

Mr. Wong, whose drunk and reddish face turned into purple, was infuriated. Due to his
size and temper, he always pushed others around and was never suffered such humiliation
before. Offended and annoyed, he eagerly waived his fists and violently attacked them.
Those cheeky ghosts were mere clusters of air. No matter how hard he tried, he wasted all
his energy for nothing. Gasping with exhaustion, he collapsed to the ground, like a piece of
dead wood.

All the mischievous ghosts, roaring with laughter, reprimanded, "You are not a real leader
at all but a brainless, puny-minded thug. We are here to teach you a small lesson on
behave of your victims. If you keep tyrannizing those mild-tempered farmers, we will call on
you again very soon." He was too exhausted to respond. His sidekicks carried him home.
From that day on, he stopped mistreating others in the village.

A person who utilizes his superior physical strength to domineer others will eventually
meet his own match. He will be forced to swallow his own medicine and forfeit his vanity.
28
KEEP AWAY FROM TROUBLE

In Kara Shaha, in a county mayor's residence, a female servant committed suicide, on
a beam in the study room. She became a ferocious hanged ghost and had haunted the
house ever since. Learning this tragic episode, the newly-arrived mayor, Mr. Chan, straight
and virtuous, moved in this possessed house. One night, under a dim candlelight, he was
studying and suddenly overheard a strange noise coming from the roof. Cautiously looking
upward, he surprisingly noticed a pair of woman's delicate feet slowly descending from the
ceiling. Within a few minutes, half of her body was appeared.

"How dare of you!" The new mayor fearless reproached, with stern and severity in his voice,
"Tell me what kind of dark creature are you. Human being and otherworldly creatures
belong to different dimensions. Why are you invading our world? Any of your wicked
behavior will eventually lead to your own self-destruction. Why you have to come after me?
I am an honorable gentleman and had never flirted with you or other women in my whole
life. How could you try to allure and coquette me? If you dare to appear yourself in front of
me, I swear to the Almighty that I will whip you hard."

The ghost quickly ascended and merged herself into the ceiling. In seconds, it was
vanished without a trace. He heard some moaning sounds in the attic. Hours later, he went
to bed and observed a lovely face appearing on the surface of the ceiling.

Glancing at her with indignation and aggravation, the mayor scornfully spat on the face and
loudly blasted, "Don't you even have any shred of self-respect? Have you ever learned any
manners when you were alive? What a poorly-cultivated and shameless tramp? Even after
your untimely death, you don't have any of the basic courtesy and decorum."

The face instantly retraced back to darkness. Placing a sword beside of his pillow, he
then blew off the candle and slept. Next day, he proudly revealed this incident to his
colleagues. Nothing ever happened to him after that episode.

Nevertheless, his servant, who stayed on the adjacent room, was less fortunate. He
was bewitched and moaned all night in his dreams of fantasy. A few months later, this
cross-starred servant had died of physical exhaustion. All of his energy was sucked up. At
his deathbed, with embarrassment, he murmured and confessed to his master. He
disclosed that, in his dreams, there was a gorgeous girl frequently visiting and sleeping
with him. Enjoying carnal pleasures, he was periodically promised that she would become
his bride in the next days. With great effort, this servant feebly but happily consoled his
master, who was in vast annoyance and aggravation.

"It's my fault," the mayor bitterly wailed and regretfully self-criticized; "I was over-confident
and overlooked the whole picture,
concerning only about
myself and thoughtlessly
neglecting my servants. Because of my own high honor and integrity, I am not afraid of any
evil-spirits, at all. They couldn't harm me. As a matter of fact, they shouldn't even appear or
approach me in the first place. On the other hand, my less fortunate servant's fate was
sealed by my own foolish self-confidence." With remorse, he promptly moved out of that
possessed residence.

As an old Chinese maxim states, "A wise person wouldn't stand near a shaky tall wall." If
we have choices, why should we unnecessarily confront with a potential danger, which
might eventually harm us or our compatriots? Keeping a safe distance away from a likely
trouble seems to be the best protection against all odds.
29
A NORMAL PLACE OF ODDITY

My colleague, Mr. Der, was just relocated to Kara Shahr. On one scorching hot
summer afternoon, he sauntered on a less-traveled segment of the city. It was deadly quiet.
The air was stuffy and the sky cloudless. Strolling along a boulevard, he unconsciously
entered woods. In there, the trees became dense, the leaves and branches gradually
blocked of the vicious sunlight. He could feel a cool and mysterious breeze gently
caressing his face. Birds chirped from afar.
Observing a weather-beaten and deserted
pavilion, he paced in that building and, relaxed himself on a stone chair, enjoying the
tranquility of the surroundings.

Hours later, a suspicious voice demanded, with courtesy but in a hollow and eerie tone. "Sir,
it's time for you to go home now. I need this place to entertain my guests." With amazement,
he was disturbed and awakened. Cautiously looking around for a moment, he found
nobody.

"It must be a ghost," Horrified and dejected, he went home, dashed to my study room and
anxiously told me, seeking my advice. "I must be doomed. Only a person with dubious
character or a person who is on the doorsteps of death will be contacted by the dark
creatures. How could I, a well-learned gentleman, in my primetime, was harassed by an
evil spirit under the bright daylight? My days must be numbered. Otherwise, the devil won't
dare to come near me...."

"Please, calm down. Don't worry," After listening and analyzing this unusual episode, I
comforted him. "Of course, as a general rule of thumb, your concerns and assumption does
make sense. Confronting with or approaching by an otherworldly creature is certainly
considered a bad omen. However, it all depends on the circumstances. Be broad-minded
and allow me to use an analogy to illustrate my viewpoint. Encountering a dark creature in
a remote and haunted region is just like locating a person in a crowded farmer market. It is
only
natural.
The
area
that
you
visited
this
afternoon
has
numerous
several-hundred-year-old trees, where could be occupied by otherworldly creatures. The
front yard of that deserted pavilion used to be a notorious execution site. Many criminals
suffered untimely and cruel death there. The negative energy lingers on and naturally their
agonized souls became the most ferocious, wandering ghosts. If you walked a few hundred
yards further, you would observe some ill-maintained tombstones and unclaimed coffins.
Don't be afraid. You are safe. There is nothing wrong with you. It's that location. Human
being is unwelcome in that wicked place."
30
A STRANGE CREATURE

In the traditional Chinese society, education was highly-valued and government official
respected. Only the well-learned people would have an opportunity to assist an emperor in
the management his country. Passing three national examines was essential. It was their
only legitimate way to have a career in government. From secretarial positions in the court
to
minor
official
in
less-desired
province,
the
blessed
candidates
would
start
their
respectable vocation there. However, passing those examines is not quite as the same as
ruling the people. With shrewd preparation and exceptional fortune, one could cram many
sacred classic volumes and successfully fulfill the former requirement. Under the worst
case
scenario,
he
would
become
a
bookworm,
a
person
without
common
sense.
Interpersonal relationship is an art and couldn’t be learned from books. It needs some
talents and flair; some newly appointed officials lacked of those. Alas! They had prepared
all their lives for those big examines and don’t have time to observe daily mundane human
activities. Consequently, walled in their minute city hall, they acted like spoiled and
uninformed tyrants. Education without supported by experience or common sense is a
dangerous thing. Quick success will make a person less susceptible to alternative
suggestions and opposite opinions. Well-educated and highly intelligent, they were not
necessarily wise or even smart, acting as administrators.

Respectfully surrounded by his subordinates and many bodyguards and servants, an
arrogant and self-righteous city mayor visited a famous temple in his domain. There was a
haunted room. It
was a forbidden
area.
Nobody dared to
approach it after dusk.
Considering himself knowledgeable, ethical and blessed, the mayor volunteered himself to
expel those dark creatures there, for the welfare of those monks. He moved into that
possessed room and even had an extravagant dinner party there. After the meal, he, as a
hobby, lectured his assistants on the philosophy of the Almighty. With great reluctance, they
grinded their teeth and tolerated this charade in silence. With fake pleasantry, they at first
pretended to listen to their superior’s tedious and boring oration. Under continuous
bombardment of monotonous and unimaginative preach, his assistants were obviously
exhausted. With difficulty and patience, they withheld and concealed their irritation.
Suddenly, a piece of shingle, flying from the courtyard through a paper window panel, hit
the mayor's forehead and ricocheted to the ground.
"Damn it! How dare of you, attacking a blessed governmental official? What kind of dark
creature are you? Where is your protocol? Don’t you know that…." Before the well-learned
mayor could finish his complaint, a shrill voice, from the attic, severely interrupted and
rebutted, with mockery and indignation. "Are you talking about yourself or what? Bless my
ass. You are the epitome of incompetence; a shame of the human beings. As a mayor,
don't you know that there are tens of people die of starvation or plague everyday in your
own domain? Have you ever noticed that and attempted to rescue them as an honest
government
official
would
do? Neglecting
your responsibilities,
how can
you
sleep
peacefully at home? Who are you anyway; do you prefer having big and empty talk than
conducting relief missions? If you, as usual, keep babbling till tomorrow morning, can you
use your nonsense to feed or cure those dying people? Let me present you another gift as
a reward of your stupidity."

A whole chunk of tile, like a thunderbolt, promptly appeared and landed in the center of
the table. It smashed all of the dishes and utensils. With amazement and aggravation, the
mayor embarrassingly fled out of the room and kept murmuring to himself, in disbelief,
"How come the ancient volumes are lying to me? It’s the basic rule of universe. The
blessed must be respected by all of the otherworldly creatures. How can a dark creature
interfere with and even lecture me, such a government official?"

This is a story that makes a joke of the adamant, inflexible, and detached bookworm.
He might be a very capable person on passing all of the government exams. However,
from
his
poor
performance,
he
showed
that
he
was
a
very
ineffective
and
even
incompetent administrator. His ineptitude rapidly degraded his status. As a result of that,
with contempt and indignation, even, an evil-spirit could accost and offend him. When a
theory is different from the outcome, one must scrutinize the process carefully to find out
the reason and properly correct it. That mayor was so clueless that he was still perplexed
by the difference of theory and practice.
31
THE MISERABLE SKULL

My servant Cheng told me this story. One time, while walking in a field, he noticed a
skull on the roadside and urinated on it, out of mischievousness.

The skull suddenly agitated and shouted in a complaining manner, "Holy smokes! How
rude and brainless are you? We are in different domains. Why do you tease and insult me?
Where are your manners? Can't you see that I am a lady? What a brute!" Without
hesitation, the skull swiftly jumped up and heavily smacked at my servant's face. He was
injured. Running home, he was followed by this aggravated skull. He hid himself in the
house. The skull perched itself on the top of the roof and began to cuss and curse towards
him.

With uneasiness, he laid on his bed and fell into a mysterious slumber. Moaning and
murmuring, he was possessed and tormented by a dark creature. His body temperature
rose quickly and sweats appeared on his forehead. His life was in great danger.

Noticing this oddity, all of his family members were amazed and frightened. They
vigorously pleaded to the skull and promised to make it up to her. One relative bravely
attempted to communicate with the skull. After a brief exchange of amenities, they chatted
cordially like two old friends. The relative smartly disclosed his family tree and tried to find a
common ground to connect that otherworldly creature with the dying victim. What a
coincidence it was when he surprisingly discovered that the skull was actually my servant's
great grandmother on his father’s side.

Learning this piece of valuable information, all of the folks knelt and earnestly implored,
"Since we are all relatives and belonged to the same big family, could you kindly spare your
own great grandson?"

"Is this brute my offspring? What a shame! When did you relocate here? Who are you?"
Out of curiosity and chagrin, the skull inquired. They patiently explained themselves one by
one. "It is not my intention to show myself here under such circumstances. And I never
dream that I will someday have to teach my own offspring a lesson like this," The skull
sighed profoundly and embarrassingly revealed, in a bitter and annoying tone, "It is not
entirely his fault. Wandering ghosts have tough lives, like beggars in the mundane world.
Without legitimate means to acquire food for worship and underworld paper money, we
could only employ alternative methods and work as a pack. Your handout becomes our
bliss. For soliciting more leftover for me and other wandering ghosts in our group, I was told
to cunningly exploit any misdeed to our own best advantage. Some of the dark creatures
concealed themselves on the other side of the roof. Others waited in the rice field. And the
rest stood behind those tall trees. We have our own ruthless rules of survival. Please, give
me some food now and I could send them away. We, the wandering ghosts, have lived
hand to mouth. Not having stable places to rest ourselves, we are destined to meander
around the human world forever, unless we could find proper substitutions. Hunger and
poverty shadow us all the time. Any opportunity, generated by human stupidity or bad
behavior, will allure us, the otherworldly creatures. Aggravation is our specialty and
misfortune is our goal. Like a beast, we live in a jungle’s life and bounded only by jungle’s
rules. Remember! We are in different dimensions and our moral yardstick is unlike yours.
We are calamity-inclined and belligerent. Keep that in mind and be careful! We are trouble.
For your own good, don't go near us again."
Sighing at the rude deed and poor-education of her own great grandson, the skull wept and
quietly left.
32
EARN THE RESPECT