Choose the Sky: A Medieval Romance (Swordcross Knights Book 2) (36 page)

“If she ever were to leave,” Luc asked, “where do you think she’d go? You grew up with her. You may be able to think of something.”

Joscelin was silent for a long minute, though his eyes flicked as he thought. He frowned, then sighed. “I would say she would come to me. But that makes no sense now, for I was already here.”

“No other family? No friends she might visit?”

“She would not go to your family’s estate?” Joscelin asked, doubt in his voice.

Luc shook his head. His family were still all strangers to her, with the exception of Eva. In any case, there was no reason she would seek refuge at Braecon.

“Trumwell is Mina’s home,” Luc said. “She’s made that clear. So where can she have gone?”

“Is there not another question, sir?” Joscelin asked. “
Why
did she leave?”

“We had a…disagreement,” Luc said.

“A disagreement?” Joscelin echoed. “A disagreement results in raised voices, or a broken dish. What did you do that made Mina flee her own home?”

Luc shook his head. “It’s a private matter.”

“Your private matter is now causing the whole shire to search for a missing woman,” Joscelin said, his voice going cold. “My own cousin is gone. I deserve an explanation.”

Luc stared at the young man, so forceful despite his gentle demeanor. He was more like Domina than he seemed at first. He too would make a fine lord of Trumwell.

“Very well,” Luc said. “I’ll tell you what I can. But you must promise to keep it to yourself, on your oath.”

“Consider it given.”

So Luc gave the bare bones of the truth to Joscelin, who obviously was trying to conceal his offense and then horror. “So you came here to find a traitor among the de Warewics.”

“Yes. At first.”

“Poor Mina. To be caught up in this stratagem of marriage simply so you could prolong your stay here and increase your control.”

“It was not just that.”

“But it was partly that,” Joscelin said,  unrelenting in his disapproval. “Well, where does this leave us?”

“In the same situation. We need to find Mina and bring her home.”

“Agreed.” Joscelin sighed. “My mind is…frankly, overwhelmed. I must think on this revelation of yours. I’ll be in the chapel should anyone need me. Perhaps if I pray, an answer will be given to me.”

Octavian also returned late that night, after riding out along another road. “I went north as far as Cleobury,” he said, referring to the large and prosperous manor both Luc and Octavian knew well.

“Any news of a woman traveling that way?” It would have made sense for Domina to have sought shelter there if she had taken that road, particularly because Luc never told her that he’d practically grown up there, having spent many years at Cleobury in training as a knight, along with his friends.

“No news of Domina, but they’ll be able to send word further out for her, and either Sir Alric or the lady Cecily will send a message here, should they find any news at all.” Tav paused, then added, “I didn’t tell them much of the situation, but you can expect Alric to want more of an account after this is finished.”

“After Mina is home again,” Luc corrected. To him, it was the only acceptable outcome.

Over the next two days, other riders came back from whatever places they’d been sent. No one could offer better success.

Luc railed in frustration. “She cannot have simply vanished!”

Joscelin had remained at the castle while the others searched. Now he sat near Luc and listened to the same reports.

“Praise Him for one mercy,” he said to Luc. “We’ve heard nothing of a woman dead, or taken. Such news would be hard to conceal, I think, if Mina were attacked on the road. She must be alive.”

Luc looked at the younger man. “Of course she’s alive! I’d know if she were not.” He believed that. It was impossible that something could happen to Mina and he would not feel it. He loved her. There was a connection between them that transcended a mere contract. He’d find Mina again.

She had to be alive. But was she safe? Was she happy? Luc didn’t know if he wanted the answer to the last question to be yes or no. Did she not feel ripped in half, as he did? Would she accept him back, once he found her?

“My lord?”

“What?” Joscelin had been speaking, and he’d not heard a word. “What did you say?”

“I said, my lord, that an idea came to me while I was waiting here. If Mina did not flee to an ally or a town, perhaps she took refuge in a different sort of place. She is a woman, and therefore she might be among women—in a nunnery or an abbey.”

“She’s married!”

“A community of holy women would take in any lady seeking shelter, even if she is not there to take vows. Let me travel to the ones closest by, and I will inquire. I am of the church—they’ll listen to me.”

“I’m her husband, and they’ll listen to me! I will go with you.”

“My lord, the castle needs you here,” Joscelin said, holding his hands up to calm Luc. “There are other things to think about besides Mina’s whereabouts. Do not forget there was an attack on the walls not that long ago. If any other force appears, you need to lead the charge against them.”

“Very well,” Luc said, persuaded at last. “Go tomorrow morning then, and send word from each place she may be—even if the word is that they know nothing of her.”

Joscelin left the next morning, saying that he would begin by traveling to the holy houses north of the castle. “The roads are well traveled that way. Mina would not make the journey more difficult than necessary.”

Luc wished him luck, feeling angry that even the young cleric was being more active than he was when it came to finding Mina.

“Don’t be an ass,” Tav said, upon hearing Luc’s self-accusation. “You’ve ridden miles of road yourself these past days, and you’ve written how many letters to how many people? Everyone here knows that you are doing all you can to locate her.”

“I felt less hamstrung when I was laid up for months recovering from a damned sword in my gut! I’m supposed to just sit here, while she’s out there somewhere?”

“Just until you know what your next move will be,” Tav said patiently. “Lady Domina does nothing without reason. She’ll explain herself in her own time.”

“You presume she’s safe and healthy and able to do what she likes,” Luc said. “But the fact is that she left Trumwell with her maid and a few men-at-arms. These are dangerous times for anyone to travel, let alone a poorly defended group like hers.”

“You don’t give her enough credit,” Tav said. “She is neither capricious nor a fool.”

* * * *

“Oh, I am a fool,” Domina moaned to herself, as another bout of morning sickness drove her to the chamber pot. “What was I thinking? I can’t escape feeling miserable. The misery is inside me.”

They’d been at Pencombe for a few days, and already Mina regretted the decision. It served her right for letting her emotions get the better of her. Worse, the physical symptoms of her delicate condition had intensified, perhaps due to the days of travel.

“Drink this,” Constance said, offering a tisane steeped with raspberry leaf. “You’ll feel much better.”

Mina took the hot drink, wishing a sip alone could cure her. “It’s not the baby,” she said. “It’s me. I’m miserable. I’m in despair.”

“Despair is a sin, my lady,” Constance said practically, “so you must not despair.”

“You think it so easy?” Domina hit the side of the table next to her, causing the dishes on it to clatter. “Ah! Well, look at that! All the despair is gone! If it were spring, I’d go pick wildflowers.”

Constance rolled her eyes. “You have never been so insufferable, my lady, if I may say.”

“You may not.” Domina glared at her. “Lord, why did he have to find us that night in London? Why did he have to be at court the next day? Why did he have to come to Trumwell? Why did he have to turn me inside out with his infernal…charm.” Tears pricked at Mina’s eyes. “I want to see him again,” she confessed. “I want to hear him laugh. And hold me, and tell me he loves me.”

“Oh, my lady.” Constance took two steps and reached to take her mistress in her arms.

Mina clutched at her maid and sobbed, “I’m so sorry I’ve dragged you here. I thought I had to get away, but it’s useless.”

“My lady,” Constance repeated. “I cannot advise you in this. But whatever you decide to do, I’ll be next to you.”

“I can’t decide either. What can I possibly do, when I love him and hate him, and I’m carrying his child, and he’s the kindest and cruelest person I’ve ever known.” She wiped her eyes, only to find fresh tears. “Lord, he must despise me for running.”

“My lady, no one could despise you.”

“Will he look for me, do you think?”

“My lady,” Constance said, holding her at arm’s length. “One thing I am sure of is that he will look for you and never stop until he finds you.”

At that moment, the little housemaid knocked timidly on the door. “Apologies, but there’s a man in the parlor. He wishes to speak to the lady Domina.”

Domina’s heart soared. Just at the moment they’d been talking about him, Luc appeared!

She hurriedly made herself presentable, and took the stairs down to the main hall, which also served to receive any guests.

When she saw the figure standing by the fireplace, though, she halted, her heart crashing downward. It wasn’t Luc who’d come for her. It was her cousin Joscelin.

“Joscelin?” she asked.

“Domina,” he said turning toward her. “I thought you might be here.”

“How did you find me?”

Joscelin gave her an odd smile. “Did you think I’d forget your secret manor, cos?”

“What are you doing here?”

“I heard about what happened,” he said more soberly. “Why Luc came to Trumwell in the first place…a very ugly truth. I thought you would need aid of family. We are still family, are we not?”

“Of course we are.” She stepped back. “Wait. Did you tell Luc about this place?”

Joscelin shook his head. “I thought it would be better to come for you by myself. I wasn’t sure what you were thinking.”

“Oh, Lord!
I’m
not sure what I was thinking!” Mina confessed. “After hearing Luc speak to that man Drugo…I was all turned around. All I knew was that I couldn’t stay at Trumwell.”

He nodded, putting a hand on her arm. “That’s understandable. He’s come in and invaded our home.”

“I shouldn’t have fled,” Mina said. “It was cowardly, and now he has Trumwell completely under his control.”

“Your father is still there,” Joscelin pointed out.

“Yes,” she said. “I can only pray that Ancel will be allowed to see to his health. Not that Luc ever showed rancor toward my father,” she added. Even in her worst mood, she remembered Luc’s actions toward Godfrey, which had all been above reproach.

Joscelin merely shook his head, unwilling to hear any good of Luc. “At least I found you before he did.”

“I’m sorry to have been so difficult.”

“You’ve had a difficult time,” said Joscelin. “Luc’s motives were hardly worthy of a knight, though he apparently only carried out the king’s wishes. To think a king would use a lady so callously…but then, perhaps that king does not think as we do. Poor Domina, is there anything I can do? Anything at all? You must be feeling so betrayed.”

Without warning, tears began to stream down her cheeks. “Oh, cousin!”

Joscelin offered her what comfort he could, and after a bout of tears, Mina recovered her usual equilibrium. She called for refreshments, and she and Joscelin sat together for much of the day, talking over the situation from every angle. At first, Mina hoped that Joscelin would have a solution, but as the hours passed, she realized that in the end, she’d have to come to terms with what happened on her own, and decide her own next steps.

Joscelin did try. He suggested several options, none of which appealed much to either of them.

“There is another possibility,” said Joscelin in the afternoon. “I haven’t mentioned it yet, but it would solve one difficulty. You could take holy vows. The church would protect you against the wrath of Luc, and even the king.”

“In exchange for giving up my whole life!”

“Not your life. Just your worldly life. Granted, you’d not have Trumwell, though one could argue that you’ve already lost it. So what else would you forsake?”

“My freedom. I’d be just as imprisoned as ever, behind the walls of a nunnery.”

“You’d
keep
your life, though it would be as a nun instead of a lady,” he said. “Isn’t that worth it?”

Mina couldn’t answer. She wasn’t at all sure it would be worth it. She’d tasted only a very little of life, since she lived most of it at Trumwell. But she loved her home, and she couldn’t imagine leaving it forever. To take vows meant that she’d be sworn to celibacy, as if her marriage never happened. Though her marriage was tumultuous at best, the thought of never again being touched by Luc made her want to cry. Marriages could be repaired. Holy vows were irrevocable.

Then another thought rose up. “Oh, no,” she murmured. “I can’t enter a nunnery, even if I wanted to.”

“Why not?”

“I am with child,” she confessed to Joscelin. It didn’t feel quite right to tell him this news before the father himself knew, but the burden of her secret was too heavy to bear.

Joscelin stopped what he was doing and stared at her. “With child?” he said. “Are you certain?”

“Yes. I know the signs well enough. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how Luc will react.”

“He doesn’t know yet?”

“I was going to tell him, but then I learned the truth of why he married me. I left as soon as I could, and how could I tell him such a thing now? I’m nothing to him. Our marriage was just a means for him to get the better favor of Stephen.”

“This changes things,” Joscelin said quietly, as if to himself. “Sweet Domina may now be carrying the heir of the de Warewics, or even of Braecon. What if your child should be a boy?”

“Then he inherits all that was mine and much of Luc’s wealth too… Perhaps even more, depending on how his sisters are married. Unless Luc annuls our marriage. He has the ear of the king, and therefore clout enough to have it done. Then the child would be declared illegitimate.”