Christmas in Bluebell Cove (6 page)

Early flight or not, Francine didn't sleep as well that second night in Thimble Cottage and when she got up to make a drink in the early hours she saw that the light was on in the master bedroom across the way.

So that made two of them, she thought and felt that the sooner she renewed her acquaintance with the French house the better. It might seem hollow and empty but that could be her fault. She hadn't done a thing to it since the day it had become hers, so maybe it was time she did. The task would help to occupy her mind with other things.

It had been an eventful Christmas and New Year, she thought as she huddled back beneath the bed covers, but apart from renting Thimble Cottage to please Kirstie and Ben, nothing else had changed in their lives. Ethan was still chained to the practice and showing no signs of throwing off the bonds that bound him.

He'd called round to see the Balfours over the holiday to tell Barbara about a practice manager who was starting in the first week of the new year and as always she'd been gratified to be included in what was happening at The Tides Practice.

Ethan always came back smiling when he'd been to the house on the headland because he'd made Barbara happy, and Francine didn't begrudge her that, but she sometimes felt that he mightn't feel so bound to the woman if he didn't see so much of her.

Barbara Balfour might be a role model in caring for the sick, but she fell far short when it came to family life, and Francine didn't want Ethan to fall into the same pattern because of his dedication to the practice.
There had been an incident when he'd almost missed Ben's birthday treat, and that wasn't the only time he'd put work commitments above family ones. On that occasion, before they'd split up, she'd got tickets for the four of them for a show in town that Ben and Kirstie were eager to see, and was to be a birthday surprise for him. But at the last moment the quartet had become a trio because Ethan had gone out on a house call due to the transfer system to an out of hours emergency doctor not functioning.

It had been in a remote area out in the countryside and by the time he'd joined them the show had been almost over.

The birthday boy hadn't been concerned but she'd been upset and when she'd remonstrated with him he'd said, ‘I'm sorry, Francine. There'd been a breakdown in the emergency arrangements and I couldn't ignore the call.'

‘Correct me if I'm wrong,' she'd said angrily, ‘but I seem to remember that there is another doctor in the practice besides you?'

She'd been referring to a young registrar who'd been working there at the time for experience in general practice.

‘Yes, there is,' he'd agreed, ‘but the elderly fellow I went out to was my patient and he's a cantankerous old guy at the best of times.'

‘And was it serious?'

He'd sighed. ‘No, not really. He had indigestion and was convinced it was his heart, but it just might have been and he was my responsibility because the emergency connection wasn't working.'

‘I still think you could have asked our registrar friend. After all, it is Ben's birthday.'

‘Yes, I know,' he'd agreed, and had pointed out that she appeared to be the only one upset by his absence and that it
was
his job that he'd been doing, caring for the sick.

Though his love for the three of them had been as strong as ever, she'd still had the feeling of ‘them or us' and that had been coming from someone in the same profession.

 

There'd been the stillness of a community not yet up and about in Bluebell Cove as she'd driven through the village the next morning in the rented car that she'd been using, but it hadn't been surprising as it had been barely five a.m.

And now she was back where the other half of her heart belonged. Back in the quiet Paris house and not so sure that making it look more lived in was going to give her the pleasure she'd hoped for because she would have no one to share it with.

As the light began to fade in the winter afternoon she went into the city to shop for fresh food, and while she was there dined in a small restaurant that she was fond of to save having to cook when she got back.

The phone was ringing as she opened the door on her return and when she picked it up Kirstie's voice was there, asking if she was all right.

‘Yes, of course,
ma cherie
,' she said quickly. ‘The flight was on time and here I am. What is Ben doing?'

‘He's here.' And her son's deeper tones replaced those of her daughter.

‘You OK,
Maman
?' he asked awkwardly, and Francine thought it was a shame that the two of them should have this anxiety on her behalf.

‘Yes, I'm fine, Ben.' she replied breezily. ‘How about you?'

‘We're all right except that it's been raining and all the snow has disappeared. So Dad took us to the cinema this afternoon and tonight we're going to a disco in the community centre.'

‘What, your father too?' she exclaimed laughingly.

‘No, Dad's dropping us off and picking us up afterwards.'

‘Where is he now, Ben?'

‘Here waiting to speak to you. Bye, Mum.'

‘You arrived safely, it would seem,' Ethan said levelly.

‘Yes, I'm fine,' she told him, keeping up the charade she'd presented for the children.

‘So everything was all right at the house when you arrived?'

‘Yes. I've just been into the city for supplies and had a meal while I was there, and am intending having an early night as I haven't been sleeping much lately.'

‘Make sure that everywhere is securely locked when you go to bed,' he cautioned, while thinking that she wasn't the only one having restless nights.

‘Yes, I'll do that,' she said mildly, and followed it up with, ‘I've had to get used to remembering those kinds of things since I came here, Ethan.'

‘Mmm, no doubt,' he agreed, ‘and now I'm going to have to go as I'm driving Kirstie and Ben to the disco that they told you about. Then I'm joining Leo in the pub for a couple of hours, and before you ask, I
will be
walking
the children home from the disco. If you remember, Bluebell Cove can be as beautiful on a cold winter night as on a warm summer one. There's frost shining like diamonds on all the trees and a full moon.'

‘Yes. I'm sure it's lovely,' she agreed, ‘but the moon does shine over here, you know, and it
can
be frosty.' On that reminder she wished him goodbye and went to bed wondering if she would ever stop loving him enough to find happiness in the different way of life they were both contemplating.

 

After she'd hung up Ethan sat staring into space. After months of separation they'd been together for just one week and now she'd disappeared again, back to France, and instead of returning to him when the weekend was over she would be going to Thimble Cottage, snugly situated only yards away from what was her real home.

The children were waiting for him to drive them to the disco, hovering in the hall dressed to kill, and he held back a smile at the sight of Ben's hair covered in gel standing up in glossy spikes above his face.

He thought thankfully that his children were fortunate that they could walk away from what was happening in their parents' lives by going to things like the disco, meeting up with their friends, and would very soon be returning to school.

They weren't living on a tightrope like he was. Loving Francine and yet hating her for what she'd done to him, though, in honesty, could he blame her? Maybe his devotion to the practice
was
over the top, and it would be better if he wasn't so keen to carry the banner for
Barbara's reputation all the time instead of just being himself.

He remembered discussing his failing marriage with Lucas one day and telling the man who was his closest friend how he just could not turn his back on the practice, that he owed it to Barbara to stand firm, and Lucas, who called a spade a spade, had said, ‘Are you sure that it isn't because you think no one could do the job as well as you that you won't agree to what Francine is asking of you?'

‘No! Of course not!' he'd exclaimed. ‘When I make a promise I keep it, and that is what it's all about.'

At that time he'd been in no mood to dwell on what Lucas had said. The fact remained that Francine had left him and taken the children with her, and he'd been appalled that she could do such a thing.

But now she had come back into his life and though it was only for the children's sake—he had no illusions about that—it was giving him food for thought, making him feel that somewhere there had to be a solution to the mess they'd made of everything.

‘Dad, how long are you going to be?' Ben was asking as he surfaced from his thoughts. ‘We've been ready for ages.'

He smiled at them both. ‘Sorry, Ben. The hairstyle rendered me speechless when I saw it. Come on, let's go. Have a lovely time, both of you. Your mother will be thinking about you dancing away in the community centre and so will I. I'll pick you up at eleven o'clock on the dot.'

S
PRING
had come to Bluebell Cove and the bluebells that the village was named after were already gracing the borders of the hedgerows and carpeting the woods in bright blue perfection.

Francine was still living at Thimble Cottage and flying to Paris each weekend, leaving the children with Ethan, and he was holding the surgery together during Leo's frequent visits to Manchester to be with his sick mother.

She saw Ethan coming home quite late one Friday night and went across to ask if everything was all right at the practice. ‘It's Leo,' he said. ‘The guy has a lot on his mind. He has to keep going to Manchester, his mother is very sick. I did tell him when he first came not to worry if he had to be absent because of her ill health, that charity begins at home, but I can't keep on like this. I'm going to have to get some extra help.

‘We're at full strength with three practice nurses now that Jenna is back on the job part time, but it's doctors we're short of. It was handy when Lucas was around as he helped out, but now that he's gone back to his consultant role at Hunter's Hill Hospital he's not available.'

‘Why don't I come back part-time?' she suggested.
‘The days are long once the children have gone to school, and during holidays I'm sure we can arrange some care for them at home with friends and so on.'

He was observing her thoughtfully. ‘Are you sure about that? You moved into rented accommodation to get away from me and now you're suggesting an arrangement that would bring us closer together again.'

‘Yes. I am sure. Do you want me mornings or afternoons?'

‘Mornings are busiest.'

‘Mornings it shall be, then. Is Leo away at the moment?'

‘Yes, it could be for a while, and we're still short of another member of staff, though we do have a temporary district nurse. Phoebe's maternity leave won't be up until next New Year.'

‘Where is she living? I haven't seen her anywhere around in the village since you danced with her on Christmas Eve.'

He was smiling. ‘The reason for that is not because I stepped on her toes, I can assure you. It's because she's living with her sister in the town and rarely needs to come here for anything.'

‘That will change, of course, when she comes back to work. What arrangements she will make for the baby when the time comes I don't know. But getting back to your offer of assisting at the practice, could you start on Monday?'

‘Yes. I don't see why not.'

‘Good. That will be great.' He was glancing towards the cottage and said, ‘It all seems very quiet over there. Where are the children?'

‘They're both involved with sleepovers. Kirstie is
staying at the vicar's house. As you know, his daughter Jessica is one of her best friends. And Ben is taking part in a twenty-four-hour fast for charity in the community centre with some of his friends.'

‘I don't believe it!' he exclaimed laughingly. ‘He won't last that long without food.'

‘We'll have to see, won't we?' she replied, sharing his amusement.

His next comment took her by surprise. ‘I suppose you're all geared up for an early night because you're off across the Channel again in the morning.'

‘Not necessarily,' she replied. ‘I've had my fill of early nights lately. Why do you ask?'

‘Once I've changed into something more comfortable than this suit, I'm going to go for a stroll along the beach, and as you don't have to be here for Kirstie and Ben, do you fancy joining me?'

‘Er, yes, I suppose I could,' she said hesitantly. ‘Have you eaten yet?'

‘Yes, I have. Maria went across to the bakery and got me some sandwiches before she went home.'

‘Give me a buzz when you're ready, then,' she suggested, and went back into the cottage.

 

As she waited for him to ring, Francine knew that she was letting down another of her defences by offering to help out at the surgery, but she couldn't stand by and watch Ethan doing the work of two doctors and having the children at weekends as well. He wouldn't have a moment to spare, while she would be relaxing in France with all the time in the world at her disposal.

And now, without barely a second's thought, she'd agreed to go walking with him in the moonlight with
the scent of bluebells all around them. She would have to keep a hold on her feelings and every time she felt she was weakening bring to mind the Paris house.

A little later, as they set off towards the headland and the beach below, she broke the silence that had fallen between them by asking, ‘Why didn't Leo look for a position in general practice nearer Manchester if his mother is so ill?'

‘Your guess is as good as mine,' he replied. ‘I really don't know, but I'll tell you one thing, I don't want to lose him. He's settled in well with the patients, is a good doctor, and there would be no problem if it wasn't for his mother's health.'

As they clambered down the cliffside to where the beach lay smooth and golden between the tides, to Francine it felt like how it used to be. A special place with the Devon countryside around it dotted with fertile farms, hotels and guest houses amongst sweeping green fields, all of which had been part of the magic of Bluebell Cove before they'd separated. It was the place they'd come to as newly qualified doctors and she'd thought she would be happy to stay there for ever.

But she'd reckoned without circumstances, without the meddling fates. A new horizon had opened out in front of her, the opportunity to live in the gracious house where she'd been born.

 

It was a haunting moment, the two of them on the beach in the spring dusk.

Before the children had been born they'd once made love down there in the warm night when the place had been deserted. She wondered if Ethan remembered. He
turned to face her and she knew by his expression that he did.

She stepped away from him, knowing she had to break into the moment that was wrapping itself around them. Any future life-shattering decisions she made would have to be in cold blood from now on, not in anger and frustration as before, or in the heat of the passion that could arise between them so quickly if they would let it.

So she said casually, ‘Have you heard from your solicitor recently? Mine seems to be dragging her feet.'

Ethan had been content just to be with her, but not now, and his reply was in keeping with his expression. ‘Why did you have to spoil this short time together, Francine?' he asked stonily. ‘Yes, I've heard from my guy and he tells me that everything is going ahead as planned. Just think, you'll soon have what you've wanted, the freedom to live your life rattling around in that big house that was your parents'. Whoopee!'

‘You know very well that isn't how I wanted it to be,' she said in a low voice. ‘I wanted us all to live there, but it hasn't worked out like that. I had a dream, Ethan, and am sure you'll be pleased to know that it's fading.'

He was looking around him. ‘I suggest we go. I've always loved it here down on the beach, but at this moment its appeal is missing.' She didn't move and he asked, ‘Did you hear what I said? I'm not leaving you down here in the dark, so let's go, Francine.' As if she'd suddenly tuned in to what he was saying, she nodded and without speaking went before him up the cliffside.

When they stopped outside their respective resi
dences he said, ‘So, can I expect you at the surgery on Monday morning?'

‘Did I say I would be there?'

‘Yes.'

‘Well, then, that is where I'll be. Goodnight, Ethan.' And without further comment she opened the door of Thimble Cottage and went in, wishing that she'd let their awareness of each down on the beach take its course.

 

The weekend that followed began like all those that had passed since that first one in January when she'd returned to France without the children. But this one was even more depressing because the frail truce between her and Ethan had been broken when she'd brought him down to earth on the beach on the Friday night.

As she unpacked her weekend case the desire to phone him and make amends was strong. But how could she possibly put things right between them when neither of them was willing to give up what
they
thought was right, and with divorce proceedings under way?

She was about to make the effort to food shop when the bell rang at the front door and she frowned. Visitors were not part of life here in Paris, she didn't know anyone that well, but it was ringing again, this time with an insistence to the sound, and she hurried downstairs.

When she opened the door her mouth was a round O of amazement.

Ethan and the children were standing in the porch, smiling at her expression.

‘We thought we'd come to keep you company, didn't we, guys?' he said. ‘So here we are. Aren't you going to ask us in?'

Was she going to ask them in? She was indeed, and throwing wide the door she said, ‘You can rest assured of that! What a lovely surprise, Ethan.' She put her arms around her son and daughter. ‘But why? You never said you were thinking of joining me here.'

‘The idea only occurred to me last night, and as your flight was fully booked we came on the next one.' He was looking around him. ‘I have to say I'd forgotten just how lovely Paris is in the spring, and what an attractive house this is.'

‘Yes, it's lovely,' she agreed wistfully, ‘but a house like this needs people to fill its rooms, to make it come alive, active people, happy people.'

‘Do you mean to say that it's got the one but not the other?'

Glancing upwards to where Kirstie and Ben were dashing upstairs to their bedrooms, she said, ‘It didn't have either until a few moments ago, but you've put that right for a short time, Ethan, so shall we forget our differences for a while and enjoy this lovely surprise that you've sprung on me? Does your coming here mean that you've forgiven me for the argument last night down on the beach?'

‘There was nothing to forgive. You felt that we were asking for trouble, didn't you, that no matter how much we were drawn to each by the old magic, things are not right between us, that I needed a reminder, and I've taken it on board. So let's enjoy ourselves over the weekend,
if we can remember how
,' he said with a quirky smile. ‘Which room do you want me in, Francine?'

‘You'll have to share mine,' she said awkwardly. ‘The children have the other two bedrooms. I use the big bedroom on the front, and the spare room is full of
my father's business equipment. It has been sold and is waiting to be taken away, but the people have not yet been to collect it.'

He was observing her with raised brows. ‘Are you sure?'

‘What? That they are coming to collect it?'

‘No. That you want me in your room.'

‘It is twin bedded Ethan.'

‘But of course,' he said with assumed gravity, and followed the children upstairs, leaving her to rejoice at the sudden turn of events. Dare she begin to hope that he was going to change his mind about them making their home here? she wondered. And if he did, would she ever forget the scent of bluebells and the pounding of the sea on to a golden beach in Devon?

 

The four of them spent the afternoon in the city centre, strolling around the shopping areas and art galleries. In the early evening Ethan announced that he'd made a reservation for a dinner cruise along the river Seine through the centre of Paris.

‘How did you manage that?' she asked.

‘I made it by phone after I'd booked the flight last night, and then it was just a matter of picking Kirstie up from the sleepover at the vicarage this morning and collecting a ravenously hungry Ben from the overnight fast at the community centre with a bag of sandwiches at the ready.'

 

It was magical, cruising along with a myriad lights illuminating famous landmarks and places of interest as they enjoyed the food. They'd done it a few times before but Francine thought it had never had more meaning
than on this spring night with her husband. The husband who had refused to live in the beautiful city of her birth because of a promise to a demanding retired doctor.

But tonight they'd wiped the slate clean for a few hours. It was how they used to be, the four of them a happy family, and she hoped that somewhere in the ether her parents might be looking down on them and understanding how she was torn by her longing to be with her loved ones yet achingly homesick for Paris, even though today was the first time it had felt right being there.

 

The children were asleep, Ethan was watching sport on television, and Francine thought it was a good moment to end the day.

‘I'll be up shortly,' he said casually as she began to climb the stairs, and she nodded without speaking. They'd had a lovely day, the four of them, but what was coming next was awful, sleeping in the same room in separate beds, and she intended to be asleep by the time he put in an appearance.

But sleep was hard to come by and when he appeared in the bedroom doorway dressed in a robe that he must have found in one of the wardrobes, she raised herself on the pillows and picked up a book off the bedside table.

He made no comment, just slipped off the robe and lay on top of the covers in his usual nightly attire, a pair of boxer shorts, but after she'd stared at the same page for at least twenty minutes he asked casually, ‘Do you want a game of Scrabble as you're having trouble sleeping?'

When she looked across at him he was laughing,
dark eyes warm and tender in the face that she knew as well as her own, and then he was on his feet and coming towards her and Francine knew if she didn't stop him now it would be too late, they would make love and the bliss of it would be wiped out by a feeling of bitter-sweetness because it could be the last time.

So why was she holding out her arms to him, throwing off the covers and letting him slip the straps of her nightdress off her shoulders? ‘It's been so long, Francine,' he said as he caressed her from top to toe, ‘we can't go on like this. I haven't stopped loving you for a second in spite of the arguments and misunderstandings, and pray that you feel the same about me.'