Christmas in Whitehorn (14 page)

"What brought you back to the
Midwest
?
And why
Montana
?"

Darcy carefully finished the last Santa coat,
then
switched to white icing. As she piped on trim, she nibbled op her bottom lip.

"It was time to try somewhere new," she said at last. "As for
Montana
, I don't know. I'd heard so much about it. There's a lot of natural beauty here – outdoor sports, that sort of thing."

He doubted she could get a pair of skis into her car, and she didn't have a roof rack. Besides, Darcy didn't strike him as the sports type. When would she find the time? Between her full-time job at the Hip Hop and her baking, she seemed to keep herself busy.

"Why all the questions?" she asked softly.

Now it was his turn to look away. "No reason."

"I think there might be. You didn't come into the café today. Are you avoiding me, Mark?"

"There's a new case. I can't talk about it."

She accepted his explanation with a nod. Either she didn't notice he hadn't answered her question, or she wasn't going to push it.

"What about your friend's death? I'm sure you're not over that."

He grimaced. "Sylvia wasn't a friend."

"I think you two were very close."

Darcy's comment invited confession, but he wasn't in the mood to admit he'd made such a big mistake.

He stood up and paced the length of the kitchen. Restlessness filled him. He wanted Darcy. Even as he questioned her, his body tightened in anticipation. Only they weren't going to be making love today. Probably not anytime soon, if ever again. Not while he wasn't sure about her.

What was he doing here? He should either ask her some pointed questions or get the hell out of her place. But asking questions meant hearing answers and he didn't know if he was ready for that.

He hated the darkness inside his soul. Life had been a whole lot easier when he hadn't worried about anyone but himself.

"I know what you need," Darcy said in a bright tone that sounded forced.
"Sugar and caffeine.
Go sit in the living room and I'll bring in some cookies and coffee."

"No, I don't want to eat your cookies. You're going to sell them to the Hip Hop."

"I'll be giving a bunch away to the hospital, as well, so don't worry about eating up my business. Besides, you really look like you need a cookie."

Her blue eyes were large and innocent. She couldn't know how much he wanted that innocence to be true.

"Okay. Cookies and coffee sound great."

He walked into the living room, but instead of taking a seat, he prowled around.

"Do you really want coffee?" Darcy called from the kitchen. "It's kinda late.
What about milk instead."

"Either," he said.

On the mantel there was a picture of young girl with an attractive, well-dressed couple. He assumed it was of Darcy and her parents. Next to that was a small plant of some kind, and a pink and white box. He raised the lid, expecting to hear music. There was only silence … and the sound of his heart.

Mark stared at the folded bills neatly placed in the small box. The thick wad of money seemed to be mostly fifties. There had to be at least a couple of thousand dollars here.
In cash.

He closed his eyes briefly, not wanting it to be her. Not Darcy. He wanted to find another reason for the money to be there. But the tips at the Hip Hop couldn't be that good, and Darcy hadn't been in town long enough for her business to take off. She didn't even have a contract with the Hip Hop.

He slammed the top on the box and forced himself to sit on the sofa. There had to be another explanation. He refused to believe that Darcy was involved in money laundering.

She smiled as she walked into the living room. A plate of cookies took up most of the tray. Two glasses of milk nestled together. She set the tray on the coffee table and settled next to him on the sofa.

"These are my favorites," she said, picking up a cookie in the shape of a bell and nibbling on the edge.

"Actually I like the icing more than the cookies, but I can't allow myself to sit down and eat just icing. So I choke down the cookie part, too."

She smiled as she spoke, an easy smile that made him wonder if he'd imagined the money. But he knew he hadn't. He felt betrayed for the second time. Something he'd never wanted to experience again.

Why did it matter if she was a criminal? He told himself he didn't care about Darcy. So maybe they'd been lovers a few times. They might have even started to be friends, but so what?

He stood suddenly. "I have to go."

*

Darcy stared after Mark. One second they'd been sitting together talking and the next, he'd been gone. What had happened? She put down the cookie she'd been eating. It seemed that her run of bad luck with men was endless.

She didn't know why Mark had left, but she had figured out that something was very wrong. Despite his claims to the contrary, he'd been avoiding her. What she didn't know was why. Had he found out about Dirk? Mark had sure been in detective mode with all his questions. Obviously he suspected something, but what? How could he have found out about the school and her brother's challenges?

Did it matter? She slumped back on the sofa. For a while she'd thought that Mark's time in caring for his sister might have made him more understanding and accepting of her situation. Obviously she'd been wrong about that, and him. He thought she was good enough to sleep with, but not good enough for anything else.

"The hell with him," she said aloud. But her voice was a whisper, and she was having a hard time ignoring the tears pooling in her eyes.

Chapter Nine

D
arcy knocked on the counseling office door. Andrew looked up and waved her in.

"I didn't expect to see you until the weekend," he said.

She took the seat opposite his. "I just wanted to drop by and say hi to Dirk."

Andrew raised his eyebrows. "We're fifty miles from
Whitehorn
on a two-lane farm road, Darcy. Is there a problem?"

"No.
Really.
I'm fine. How's Dirk?"

"Making great progress."
Andrew leaned back in his chair. "Some things are easier for him to grasp than others. You know our goal here is help our students be as self-sufficient as possible in the real world. Dirk will never be a CEO of a major company but, as I told you when he first arrived, I think there are a lot of opportunities for him. Now that I've worked with him for six months, I don't see any reason to change my opinion. If anything, I'm more confident."

"Thanks." She fidgeted with the strap of her purse. "I'm still going to be able to make monthly payments, right?"

"Absolutely."
Andrew chuckled. "Actually, you've caught me in the middle of putting together a financial-aid package for you. Now that Dirk has been here long enough for us to evaluate him, we're going to start the process of applying for scholarship and grant money."

"You can do that?" she asked, not daring to hope.

"We can try. We don't talk about it as an option when we get a new student because there are restrictions. One of them is how much the student can be helped. Our belief is that Dirk will be about ninety percent self-sufficient by the time he leaves here. He'll be able to hold down a job, live on his own and, within reason, support himself. That and the fact that he doesn't have any financial resources
makes
him eligible."

Darcy bristled. "I pay for things. I've never been late with a tuition payment."

"Hey, don't make me the bad guy. The foundations we work with don't consider you a primary source of income. You're a sibling, not a parent. This is a good thing. It makes Dirk more eligible for funding."

"Oh." She considered the information. "I'm not going to start planning a trip to
Hawaii
or anything, but if we could get some financial aid, it would really help."

Andrew nodded, his expression turning serious. "I know you're hanging on by a thread, Darcy. Don't give up. I'm guessing within six months, we'll have funding for at least three-quarters of his tuition."

"That would be terrific," she admitted. "Some months it's difficult to pay all my bills." If the funding came through she might actually be able to save money for an emergency.

"We're not cheap," Andrew admitted. "I like to think we're worth it." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. "What else is wrong, Darcy? You don't seem to be your normal, cheerful self today."

She shrugged.
"Just life.
You know – there's always something."

"I'm a professional. I'm willing to listen."

"That sounds really tempting, but you're Dirk's counselor, not mine."

"I'd like to think we're friends. Talk to me."

She hesitated. "I don't know. There's this guy."

"Ah.
A matter of the heart.
I should have known."

"I don't know if this qualifies as a 'matter of the heart.' More like a confusing situation between people who are friends."

And lovers, but she wasn't comfortable confessing that. "He lives next door. We've hung out a few times." Did sex qualify as hanging out? "I thought we were getting along great, but last Monday he turned weird on me. I don't know. He mentioned some big case at work, but I'm not sure I believe him."

"What kind of work does he do?"

"He's a detective. He worked in
New York
for a while, but he was injured on the job. I guess he left to recover and now he's here. He grew up in
Whitehorn
."

"Sounds like he's made a lot of adjustments.
First to the big city and now to coming home.
How long has he been back?"

"A few months.
I think a suspect shot him."

Andrew frowned. "That can't have been easy. Do you know any of the details of the shooting?"

"No.
Just that he was in the hospital for a while and then in rehab."
She thought about the scars on his body. "One gunshot was to his thigh, the other his torso. I know that no major organs were hit, but I think it was pretty close."

"Facing one's mortality is never easy. Es-
pecially
if his injuries were serious enough to cause him to leave his job."

Darcy considered Andrew's statement. She hadn't thought about the reasons for Mark's return to
Whitehorn
. "I don't know if he came back because he couldn't physically do the job, or if it was something else."

"Neither is going to make him feel good about himself," Andrew told her. "Men frequently define themselves by what they do. If your friend couldn't do the job he loved, he would need some time to get used to that reality. If he left because he didn't want to deal with the pressures anymore, then there are different things going on. Either way, he's in for an adjustment."

"You're right. I had just sort of assumed that it was all about me – his being weird, I mean. Maybe it isn't. A friend of his killed herself a few days ago."

Andrew whistled.
"A former girlfriend?"

"I don't know.
Maybe.
Probably."
She shifted uneasily. "Maybe I'm fooling myself, but I don't think he's lost the love of his life, yet there's something going on. It's hard to explain."

"Suicide is difficult for those left behind," Andrew said. "Your friend is probably feeling a lot of conflicted emotions. Being in a new relationship is only going to add to his confusion and guilt. Try not to take it personally." He shook his head. "Unless all this is too much work and you'd rather pass. You don't have to get involved with this guy, Darcy."

"It's not that." She didn't think Mark was too much trouble. "I guess so much has happened so fast that I'm having trouble keeping my equilibrium." She tried to smile and had a feeling she didn't do a good job. "I'm so used to guys taking off the second they find out about Dirk. All this stuff with Mark isn't about that."

"It's tough to find out we're not the center of the universe," he teased, then sobered. "Are you okay, Darcy? You're dealing with a lot right now."

"I'm fine." At least she was trying to maintain some semblance of normal. Mark didn't make it easy.

Andrew leaned toward her. "Do you want to talk about Dirk's impact on your social life?"

"I'm not sure there's anything to say. It's not a new story. I love my brother and I would do anything for him. One of the realities of the situation is that people – men especially – don't want to get involved if it's not going to be easy. Dirk isn't easy. There are emotional and financial commitments that will last a lifetime. At least if a woman has kids, the assumption is that the kids are going to grow up and be on their own eventually. That may not happen with Dirk."

"I think it's a very good possibility with your brother," Andrew told her, "but it's not a sure thing. As for the men you've met, I'm sorry they've all been so shallow. There are a few good ones out there and I suggest you keep on looking."