Chulito (17 page)

“Chu-li-to!” Papo yelled from the corner as Chulito crossed the street to go to the train station. The ten minute mark to meet Carlos was just about to strike. Shit, Chulito thought.

“Gotta run, fellas, gotta meet up with—” He was going to say Kamikaze but then he saw Kamikaze’s car parked near the fellas, so he jogged over to the corner.

“Man, you looked pressed.” Davey swiped his lips with his tongue. “Where you goin’?”

“Downtown. I’ll catch you tomorrow.” Chulito turned away.

“Hold up. You been missing for days.” Papo placed his arm around Chulito’s shoulder and pulled him close. “You don’t want a little shot with your boys before you go?”

“Yeah, it’s just that I’m running a little late.”

“Don’t be letting no pussy whip you, little bro.” Papo released Chulito. “Whoever she is, she gonna wait. And if she don’t,” Papo pretended to kick a can, “kick her to the curb.”

Chin-Chin and Davey both laughed.

Kamikaze stepped out of Gil’s Liquor Store and came down the block.

“What are you knuckleheads up to?”

“I think our boy here has got some chocha plans,” Papo said.

“’Bout time,” Kamikaze said, “’cause I was getting worried about you acting all moody. Glad to see that you putting Catalina behind you.”

“So, who is it?” Davey passed Chulito the bottle.

Chulito took a swig of Hennessey. “It’s not like that. I’m going to hang with my cousin.”

“In El Barrio?” Kamikaze asked. “I’m headed that way.”

“No, in Brooklyn.” Chulito handed the bottle to Chin-Chin.

“Brooklyn? You hung with them last weekend.” Kamikaze said.

“Well, since you and I are off this weekend, I figured it would be cool to go back out there.”

“You guys are off?” Chin-Chin asked.

“You ain’t heard about the crazy shit going down?” Kamikaze said.

“Look, fellas, I gotta run.” Chulito crossed Garrison Avenue. Midway across the street Papo yelled, “You ain’t going to hang with no cousins.”

Chulito turned and gave them a sly smile.

“I knew it,” Papo yelled.

“Dále webo,” Davey yelled as he did a hump dance, putting his hands behind his head and pumping his hips.

Chulito ran toward the train station. When he arrived, he didn’t see Carlos on the bench. He swiped his Metro card, ran down the stairs and found Carlos on the platform.

“You were gonna bounce?” Chulito asked as bopped over to him.

“I waited fifteen minutes. You’re lucky I gave you the extra five.”

Chulito stood side by side with Carlos and scoped out the subway platform to see if there was anyone he knew. He looked at Carlos out of the corner of his eye. “How many trains did you let go by?” he asked and smiled.

Carlos smiled back. “Only one.”

“I knew you were gonna wait for me.”

“So you took your time?”

“Nah, I was right on time, and then I ran into the fellas.”

“I figured.”

The train pulled in and Chulito sat across from Carlos rather than next to him. There were only three other people in the car—a young couple kissed deeply, pink tongues slipping in and out of brown lips and a teenager moved to music on his headset as his blond dreadlocks bounced to the beat.

They rode silently, stealing glances and reading the subway ads. Carlos looked fresh and clean and good enough to lick. Chulito leaned forward to ask Carlos where exactly they were going, but it didn’t matter what he asked he just wanted to talk to him and hear his voice. But as the train filled with goth kids, young women headed to a nightclubs, rambunctious teen-aged boys and nurses and security guards in uniforms heading to work, Chulito lost his nerve to speak to Carlos. He didn’t want anyone else to hear.

At 125th Street most of the passengers switched to the express train, but Carlos moved to a corner seat and called Chulito over. They sat side by side. Sometimes their shoulders touched, sending a chill through Chulito. Carlos leaned in. “You’re so quiet. I thought you wanted to talk.”

“I want to talk to you, not the whole train.”

“Nobody can hear us unless you shout. I’m glad we finally got to hang.”

“Me, too,” Chulito said. “I was scared that you wouldn’t want to see me again, after what went down in El Barrio.”

“Everything is not cool, Chulito. I’m still not sure what to do. I bust my ass to go to school and stay clean. I really don’t feel like I want to get involved in some crazy shit. As much as I feel you.”

Chulito nodded and looked away. “I hear you. Damn, you was bold when you came out with whole ‘I’m feeling you’ thing.”

“Don’t change the subject.” Carlos smiled. “Let’s just hang and see what happens.”

Chulito smoothed out his pants and adjusted his baseball cap. “I’m glad you giving me a chance to hang with you. I’m glad we here.”

“I was tripping myself up with my feelings. I can’t explain it. And when you didn’t keep our plans for your birthday, I was wrecked.”

“I’m sorry about—”

“That’s in the past, but I was really hurt. I still went ahead with the plans, but instead I just took my mom and Andrew instead.”

“That blond dude in the white Range Rover?”

“He’s a really good friend from school.” Carlos sat up and looked at Chulito in the eye. “And since you blew me off, I invited him and my moms out to City Island.”

“I love the seafood out in City Island.”

“I know.”

Chulito nudged his knee against Carlos’. “I’m sorry.”

Carlos looked at Chulito and then away. “I was so upset because those phone conversations we had before I came made me feel close to you again. I love hearing your voice and you are so beautiful Chulito…you a pretty thug.”

“Damn, Carlos. Don’t hold back now.” Chulito smiled, but looked nervously around the train car.

“But I just figured, let me just say what’s up and at least let it out, because as long as it was inside me, I was just making myself crazy thinking about you.”

“I think about you too, a lot.”

Carlos smiled. “C’mon, it’s clear that you dig me, too.”

Chulito smiled to mask his nervousness. “It wasn’t that clear to me, but I knew I was feeling something.”

“What do you feel, Chulito?” Carlos’ eyes stared expectantly as if their next blink depended on Chulito’s answer.

Chulito couldn’t put words to what he felt. The question raised sensations in his body—a flutter in his chest, a chill up his spine, a tingle in his balls. “I don’t know. I think about you, too. I love to see you smile. But a dude ain’t supposed to be saying shit like this to another dude, so I bug out.” Chulito paused while their train stopped in a station, then once it resumed he continued his conversation under its rumble. “Like when you started being all gay and shit and everybody was talking, I stayed away because I didn’t want to be seen with you. And, even though I could never admit it to anyone, not even myself, I missed you. And I could see you were hurt when you tried to talk to me and I’d just say ‘wassup’ and keep walking. I wanted to do something else, but if we stayed friends, everybody would think I was gay and I’m not.”

Carlos sat up. “So what are you doing here? Why did you say what you said to me on the steps?”

Chulito was caught off guard. He thought he had a handle on the situation, but labeling what he felt for Carlos as gay didn’t seem correct. He looked at their reflection in the window across from them, sitting side by side, Carlos awaiting his answer. He then looked at the passengers as if they could help him formulate an answer—among them was a beautiful young woman with big tangled hair, a tight dress that showcased her dark, round breasts and stiff nipples. She was checking him out, too. Could she stop him from where he had every intention of going with Carlos? Was she an angel who’d come to save him from himself? He nodded to her and she smiled.

Noticing this exchange, Carlos started to stand up, but Chulito touched his arm. He leaned over, cupped his hands around Carlos’ ear because he didn’t want one syllable to escape into the clatter of the subway car, and whispered, “I’m here because I like you Carlos, and I think about you constantly.”

Carlos played along and whispered into Chulito’s ear. “What do you think about when you think about me?” His lips brushed Chulito’s lobe and Chulito quivered.

“I wonder what your job is like. I wonder where you go when you go out? I think about the conversations we used to have.” Chulito wanted to add, I think about your smile and how it gives me chills. I think about how beautiful your face is, especially your big eyes and how you can make your eyebrows dance. I think about the day when I saw you coming around the corner, and the wind blew your shirt up how I could see your skin on your stomach and how that moment is on constant replay in my mind. I think about what it would be like to hold you. But he didn’t. He wasn’t ready to dive in.

“What about our conversations?”

“I feel like we here,” he said forming a “V” with fingers and drawing a line from his eyes to Carlos’ eyes and back. Carlos sat back on the seat and rested his head against the wall. Chulito did the same. Simultaneously, they looked at each other. Chulito chuckled and Carlos shook his head and smiled as they reached Astor Place.

Navigating the mob headed toward the turnstiles, Carlos leaned into Chulito. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“No doubt, but don’t get all open leaning up on me.” Chulito smiled then leaned into Carlos.

“I’ll make sure to keep my distance.” Carlos playfully pushed him. “Wouldn’t want any of these strangers to get the wrong impression about you.”

Chulito looked around and realized that he didn’t know anybody. This was strange because he was so used to spending most of his time on his block where he knew everyone and everyone’s business, which affected how he behaved. But here he didn’t know anybody and nobody knew him, so he could behave however he wanted.

As they climbed the stairs, Chulito checked out Carlos’ ass and wanted to give it a playful smack.

When they emerged from the train station, Carlos asked him what he was smiling about.

“Nothin’.” Chulito looked around and felt a little claustrophobic by all the people scurrying around. The only time the streets in Hunts Point were this populated was when there were street festivals or block parties.

A corner Starbucks was full of people sitting at a ledge in the window typing on laptops, talking on cell phones and with one another. Across the street, in the middle of a concrete island, there was a black cube the size of a small house but it was standing on one of its points. He thought it looked strange and wondered what was the point of it being there. Chulito checked out the skinny boys on skateboards with plaid shirts tied around their waists whizzing by the sculpture, some kids with pink and purple hair sat on the curb near it, and a woman with a guitar and a guy with a flute played beneath the cube to a small crowd. The air smelled of coffee and sweet roasted peanuts. Chulito looked around. There were a couple of old looking buildings, a K-Mart and a Walgreens, but no big gothic sign that read “Welcome to the Village.”

“So we here?”

“This is the East Village. We’re going to the West Village, but I came down the east side so that we could have more time to talk as we walk across town. And it’s a perfect evening. Sun is still out and it’s after seven P.M., and it’s not humid.”

As the two began their walk they heard Carlos’ name being sung out in a falsetto faux operatic voice.

“That’s my friend Kenny,” Carlos said as Kenny waved to them from across the street. “You want to come say hi or do you want to wait here?”

Chulito went with Carlos. There was no doubt in Chulito’s mind that Kenny was gay. Chulito checked out Kenny’s tangle of bleach blond curls held away from his face by a red bandanna. He wore red Adidas running shoes with black hip-hugging jeans and pink tank top that was cut to just meet the waist band of his pants. Kenny was slim but muscular and a gold loop pierced his eyebrow. The one thing that didn’t match Kenny’s look was a small tattoo of the Dominican flag on his shoulder. Chulito shook his head and wondered if all of Carlos’ friends looked like this.

Carlos hugged Kenny who looked over Carlos’ shoulder at Chulito and panned him from head to toe.

“I heard you were back,” Kenny said to Carlos but didn’t take his eyes off Chulito.

“Been back a couple of weeks, but I haven’t seen you around.”

“That’s because I was giving the West Village a rest, and spending time in the East.” Kenny raised his eyebrows and pointed at Chulito.

“This is my friend from my ’hood,” Carlos said.

“He’s from your hood? I thought he was from Planet Yum. Yum, yum, yum. I’m liking your look. Very thug, very Jay-Z. Are you a homiesexual?”

Chulito’s eyes narrowed and a flash of anger shot through him. “What?” he growled. “Get the fuck outta here!”

“Oops, sorry,” Kenny said. “Didn’t mean to rush the issue. Take all the time you need.”

“No,” Carlos jumped in. “He’s just a friend from my ’hood. His name is Chulito.”

“Chulito? Oh, that’s perfect. Purrrfect.” Kenny danced around repeating “perfect.” “Damn, Chulito, you are over, ovah. So are you two together?”