Cinders' Bride: Mail Order Brides of Texas (16 page)

“Might as well stop. This looks as good a place as any.”

Relief encompassed her and her muscles began to relax. She’d thought riding in the wagon would be much easier than riding a horse. Not true, and her aching body proved it. She was stronger than before, physically. Cookie always started round to help her down, but she waved him off. She could do for herself and it gave her a sense of pride she’d never felt before.

Shading her eyes with her hand, she scanned the horizon. A man on horseback rode toward them and there was only one man who looked so good on a horse, Cinders was coming their way. Turning, she began her work of helping Cookie put together a meal. Cinders wasn’t usually the first one in. Most of the time it was Tramp. He’d made up his mind about her long ago and no matter how nice she was, he frowned at her.

“We’ve got company. Looks like the boss.” Cookie said as he hefted out a bucket of lard.

“It’s him. What do you suppose he wants?”

“I don’t know but if I had someone fetching waiting for me I’d hurry to catch up to her too.”

“Sometimes I think you’ve cracked your head, Cookie. He just feels bad about Polly and all. He knows being nice makes for a happier household.”

Cookie scratched his head. “Is that what you think, that he just wants to get along with you?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t plan to let my heart get involved. It hurts too much.”

“Hey you two!” Cinders greeted.

“You’re here early,” she said gazing at him. His eyes softened as he gazed back.

“I thought you might want to go cool off in the lake over yonder. You can swim can’t you?”

Putting her hands on her hips she shook her head. “Now you’re asking? Glad the wagon never capsized at any of the rivers we crossed.”

“Well, you got me there. So would you like some privacy to bathe and the like?”

Her brow furrowed as she tilted her head. “Why?”

“Why what?” He took off his hat and began to run his fingers around the brim.

“Are you going to take a bath?”

“Heck no, I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’ve worked hard.”

“So has Cookie.” Her lips twitched.

Cinders turned and smiled at Cookie. “Would you like to take a bath today?”

Cookie threw the towel he had over his shoulder at him. “I might but I sure don’t need your help. Now go on before there’s no privacy.”

Any bravado she had fled. Would he watch her take her clothes off? What was supposed to happen? The whole idea wasn’t good. “I don’t—”

“Git now, both of you, and don’t come back until you smell as fresh as a rose.”

“But I don’t smell. Do I?” she asked.

Cookie laughed. “Actually you’re the best smelling of the bunch. See ya.” He reached in to the wagon and took out a bar of soap. “I want this back. No dropping it nor letting float away, and no lending to some shiftless yahoo neither.”

The bar of soap was one thing she couldn’t do without. It tipped her decision in Cinders’ favor. “Fine, thank you.” She took the bar and kissed Cookie’s whiskered cheek. “I’ll hurry so I can help you cook.” She smiled at Cinders. “Let me grab some clean clothes.”

Scurrying into the wagon, she grabbed her freshly washed clothes. It didn’t matter what the reason was, the thought of being clean outweighed any objection. She jumped down from the back of the wagon and began to walk toward the lake, smiling to herself as she heard Cinders running to catch up.

“Nice day,” he commented as soon as he was at her side.

“Yes it is. Now how is this going to work? Are you going to come into the water with me or…”

“I’ll be the perfect gentleman. I’ll turn my back and guard your privacy.”

“Oh, good.” It was the answer she wanted, so why did she feel deflated?

They walked in silence until they found a nice clearing. “You won’t peek?”

“No.” He sounded positive.

“Okay, turn your back.” She waited for him to turn around and began to undress. “You don’t suppose the water is cold do you?” Damn she was so nervous she was chattering on.

“I don’t suppose it will be. If anything it’ll be refreshing.”

“Yes, of course.” She folded her clothes, grabbed the soap and plodded into the clear lake. “Oh, oh my.”

“Is something wrong?”

“Not a thing. It’s heavenly, thank you.”

“Take your time.”

She dove under the water and swam around for a minute, keeping her eye on him. True to his word he wasn’t looking. Wasn’t a man supposed to want to look at his wife? It hit her like a tree falling on top of her. He didn’t want to look at her. The realization took some of the joy out of using the soap and washing her hair. She hurried and got out. Then she used her dirty clothes to dry off before putting on clean ones. He was just doing her a favor and she didn’t want to take up his time.

“Everything okay?” His voice sounded a bit gravelly.

“Everything is perfect. You can turn around now. I’m ready to get back. I do thank you for your time.”

He turned and gave her a quick grin. “Pretty as a picture.”

Taking one last look at the lake she nodded. “Yes it is.” She firmly planted a fake smile on her face. He did her a favor and she wanted to be grateful. It was hard. They walked side by side in silence back into camp.

“Got my soap?” Cookie asked.

This time her smile was real. “I wouldn’t have come back without it.” She handed it to him and touched his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” He looked her up and down. “Well don’t you look nice? Doesn’t she look nice Cinders?”

“She does. I already told her she was as pretty as a picture.”

She had to keep her jaw from dropping. He’d meant she was pretty? The intention was nice even if it wasn’t true. “Thank you both. Now what do you need me to do, Cookie. I got back as quickly as possible.”

“That’s my gal,” Cookie said as he handed her the big spoon to stir with.

Grabbing the spoon, she reached over the fire and stirred the stew in the pot. Fetching? Pretty as a picture? Just what was going on? Whatever the reason it was nice to be told she was pretty. A nagging feeling came over her and she glanced over her shoulder at Cinders. “What was Polly doing in town? It was a big surprise she came back to camp with you.”

Cinders’ eyebrows rose. “I was just as surprised to see her. She said she was there on business but I do believe she has set her hat for a certain judge who lives there.”

Slowly she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I wish her luck then.”

“She likes to go where the money is. A lot of women do.”

“Not me.”

He smiled and nodded. “Not you. To tell you the truth it’s a breath of fresh air to find a woman like you.”

Before she had a chance to ask what he meant, the men started riding in. She didn’t get a chance to mull over Cinders’ words until much later in the evening. His words ran through her mind until she beamed with pride. He appreciated all she’d done and it felt great to be acknowledged.  The words pretty as a picture didn’t fill her with joy though. They were simply nice words people say without real meaning. She touched her scar and frowned. Yes, they were just kind words.

They would get on well enough. They’d share happy times and maybe have children. She clasped her hands over her mouth. He didn’t want children. How many times did he have to take her to create a child? Well that was two strikes against her. She’d just have to be content to be friends and from what she saw growing up, it was a rarity for it to be that way. Damn, why was she so unschooled in the ways of marriage. She crawled into the wagon and went to bed.

The next morning she stood side by side with Cookie getting breakfast ready by the light of the oil lamp. “Cookie, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, sweetheart, ask away.” He continued to knead the biscuit dough with his hands.

“How many times does it take to make a baby?”

Startled, Cookie waved his hands around while pieces of dough went flying everywhere. “Why ask me? I don’t have kids.”

“I know that, but certainly you must know. Cinders and I have—”

“You stop right there. I don’t want to know about you and Cinders and any babies. It ain’t my place. Cinders is the one to ask.” Shaking his head, he went back to mixing.

“Babies?” Cinders asked sharply.

She jumped and looked behind her. “Good morning! Cookie and I were just talking—”

“Wait one minute. I wasn’t the one talking,” Cookie took a towel and cleaned his hands. “This is between the two of you.”

Cinders’ eyes sparked. “Come on, Shannon, let’s take a walk.”

Her heart beat faster. By the set look on her husband’s face, she was in for a world of trouble. She followed him, trying to keep up, but his stride was much longer than hers and he wasn’t waiting for her to catch up. Finally, he stopped and whirled around. “Are you pregnant?”

Her heart sank. He was furious. “I don’t know. I just asked Cookie how many times it takes to make a baby is all. My mother never told me anything and I didn’t want to ask you.”

“You couldn’t come to me and ask?”

Starring at the ground she clasped and unclasped her hands. “I know you don’t want kids and I didn’t want to go past the number of times it takes. You never should have made me your wife. I have feelings I don’t know what to do with and last night I was thinking we could have a good marriage. We get along and we both are good workers. My mind went to having a family and I remembered you didn’t want any. I wanted to be sure exactly how babies are made. I mean I know, well you know, but I don’t know.”

His eyes widened as he stared at her. Humiliated, she turned to walk back but his hand on her shoulder stopped her. Keeping her back to him, she closed her eyes and hung her head.

“There isn’t a number. It could be once it could be never. I shouldn’t have touched you. My need got in the way of my thinking. It won’t happen again. Have you been feeling okay? No stomach problems?”

She shook her head and bit her lip. Tears threatened, but she tried to stem them. He was just telling her the way of things. Once or never? She’d miss the closeness they shared that one night but it was something she could tuck away in her heart. Possibly, she’d take it back out and remember. “I’m fine. Don’t worry, I won’t mention children again.” Pulling away from his touch, she hurried back to camp, giving Cookie a weak smile.

“You okay? You’re as white as a ghost.”

“Let’s get the food ready, you know how grouchy the men are if the food is late.” She grabbed a stack of plates and placed them on a makeshift table. Then she grabbed another stack and set them out. She watched as Cinders walked into camp, grabbed a cup and poured himself some coffee. He didn’t look her way and it hurt. He drank some, then threw the rest into the grass. He handed Cookie the cup and headed toward the horses.

“He’s a good man,” Cookie said quietly.

“Yes.” The lump in her throat didn’t allow for any other words.

Chapter Nine

Cinders’ started out riding point and ended up riding drag. He really didn’t care what position he rode, his mind was on other things. Dust kicked up by the cattle covered him. He wore a bandanna over the lower half of his face and kept his hat tipped down. Usually the new hands rode in the back, but he wanted to be alone. Plus he didn’t want to be the first one to camp.

Ever since he saw her being manhandled in town, his life had taken a huge turn. Saving her was one thing but somehow he ended up married to her. Guess he was lucky she wasn’t some shrew. He admired her gumption, her grit, and her willingness to pitch in and learn. Brave, she was also brave and kind and sweet.
Damn
! She was under his skin.

If it had been another woman, he’d have looked for a motive, but with Shannon what you saw was what you got. No wiles, no plans to change him, nothing. Heck, she’d even been abducted by Long Nose and didn’t demand a stage ticket out of there. He grinned. His wife was some woman and he was lucky to have her.

It was a crossroads of sorts, the next few steps they took. It was up to him, but hell, he'd sworn he'd have no more children. He watched as Kegan, Speed, and Dill gathered up the strays and kept them with the herd. They’d turned into some fine cowhands and he hoped to make enough money to keep them all on. Usually a few left and went to another ranch, another drive. He’d have to wait and see. Though he did hope Keegan stuck around. He had a good head on his shoulders and he was good with the livestock. He wasn’t much of a talker but this wasn’t his first cattle drive. He was at ease in the saddle and good with a rope.

He was proud of how much his ranch had grown. A lot of sweat and prayers went into it. Charlotte had been a part of it, after all, she did bring her father’s land with her. It was still a shock that she'd stepped out on him and it wounded his pride. More so because others knew about it. He bet Polly knew about it and had never told him.

Shaking his head, his shoulders slouched. Maybe it wasn’t up to him. His heart thumped painfully in his chest as he rode toward the front. He needed to talk to Shannon. Riding into camp, he searched for his wife, but didn’t see Shannon anywhere. Jumping off his horse, he hurried to Cookie. “Where is she?”

“Don’t you worry none. She’s sitting in the shade for a bit. She’s been upset all day.”

“Me?”

“Are you asking if you’re the reason she’s upset? Then the answer is a big fat yes.”

Cinders gave him a rueful smile and nodded. “Thanks.”

He located her sitting under a big oak and made a beeline for her, ignoring the hands that had already arrived. Compared to the mighty tree, she was tiny little thing. As he drew closer, he spotted her red eyes. He’d made her cry.

He knew she'd spotted him when she crossed her arms in front of her and looked in the other direction. Hesitating, he wondered what he was going to say to her. Groveling would be best. Flowers would have been a nice touch if there were any around. Maybe he should have cleaned up a bit first. He was covered in dirt. Strange how women always said it’s a man’s world. Not from where he stood. It was very much all about Shannon.

“Hey, Shannon. Cookie said you weren’t feeling very well.” He waited for an answer, or even an invite to sit next to her. He took off his hat and slapped it against his thigh while waiting for the words to come. Nothing.

“I know you have work to do. I’ll be fine.” She still didn’t look at him and he didn’t like the slight quaver in her voice.

“Aw hell,” he said as he sat down next to her. “We need to talk. You know, come to some understanding about our marriage.”

“Don’t bother. I understand already and I don’t blame you. I think we can build a good life together unless you’d rather I go.”

He opened his mouth to talk, but she kept going.

“No matter what you decide, we’ll be friends. I’ll forever be beholden to you for saving me time and again. I knew I was taking a chance coming West as a bride. I could be in John Hardy’s hands right now, but I’m here with you. I never experienced fresh air, water, wide open land, or well, there are so many things. I never imagined I’d ride a horse or cook for cowboys. So you see, I already know what you’ve come to tell me. You have too much integrity to actually ask me to leave so you’re here to tell me we can get on as we did before the cattle drive.” She turned to him and gave him a misty smile. “It’ll all work out and you don’t need to worry about hurt feelings. I’ve tucked them all away.”

Blinking at her, he tried to make sense of what she was saying. “We’d go on as we did before?”

She nodded.

“Are you crazy? Do you really think I’d be able to sleep next to you and not touch you?”

“Well, yes. I know what the men were saying about moonless nights and not being able to see me. It’s my burden to carry, not yours.”

He took her hand in his and rubbed her callouses. “You’re never a burden, and the reason for the moonless night was because I didn’t want anyone to be able to see us. I didn’t want anyone watching a very important moment in my life. Somehow, we’ve twisted each other around. My bitterness about Charlotte and losing her and the baby had me blind to many things. Finding out about her unfaithfulness put me on an uneven keel.”

“What?” She gave his hand a squeeze.

“Never mind that now. I don’t want her clouding my mind. All I want is to think about you, and about us. Shannon, I love you with everything I have. I know I’ve made a big mess of things, but I wish you’d forgive me. I want a real marriage with you and if we’re blessed with children that’s more than fine. I’d be more than grateful if you consider it.” His heart leapt into his throat. He’d never been so nervous to get an answer to a question before.

Shannon scanned the horizon for a bit and was silent. Finally, she turned her body so she faced him. “I don’t know what to say. I was all set for my plan to go into action. Sitting here I was trying to make peace with myself, and now here you are saying you love me.” Leaning forward she stroked his whiskered cheek. “What happen to you? Did you collect all the dust on to your body as you rode?”  Her eyes softened and shone for him. “I love you too. I would be honored to be loved with everything you have.”

He crushed her to him.

“So, Ichabod, I was thinking.”

“No, Ichabod is not my name.” He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. She must have untucked her feelings. It was the deepest and most meaningful kiss he’d ever experienced. They parted, breathing heavily. “My name is Ashley Cinders.”

Her brow furrowed and he could see the realization in her eyes. “Ash Cinders? Oh my.” Her lips twitched as though she was trying not to laugh. Then she looked solemn. “It’s a fine name, and thank you for telling me. I won’t tell anyone.”

“I know. I trust you completely. Now let’s stop jawing and get back to kissing.”