Circle of Death (16 page)

The salty, pine-laced air does do wonders for my spirit, it turns out. Devlin and I slip out of The Club’s heavy front doors and head out into the forest together. In a matter of minutes, it’s like civilization itself has ceased to exist. The only evidence of human life out here in the woods is the ever-present eye of The Club’s watchtower. Apart from that, we’re all alone.

I draw deep, fresh breaths into my lungs, letting the vigorous hike sooth my troubled mind. These past couple of days, I’ve been so wrapped up in the overpowering marvel that is Devlin Vile that I’ve put my real life totally out of mind. But seeing Devlin with that gun brought all of my obligations and responsibilities racing back into my brain. I’m only out here on this rock to gather information about The Club, and Devlin and his brothers for my story. This whole time, I’ve been nothing but a dirty spy, working on an angle for my
FootSoldier
piece. Guilt and self-loathing snake through my mind as we trek further into the woods. How will I ever be able to write a word about Devlin, the Circle of Death MC, or even The Club after everything that’s happened this week? How will I be able to skip away and resume my real life?

And if I’m honest with myself...do I really want to?

The sound of raised, raucous voices distracts me from my musings. Up ahead, Devlin’s turned his face toward the noise, holding up a hand to me. I stop in my tracks, watching as his brow clouds over. In a heartbeat, his body has gone rigid and alert, his every muscle tensed. He’s ready for a fight, I realize. And instead of wanting to flee, I find myself strangely entranced by his transformation. I want to be at his side to see what happens next, even jump into the fray, if he needs me. I’d do anything for Devlin, I realize.

Now there’s a scary fucking thought, right there.

Just as it looks as though Devlin’s going to spring into action, the sound of Packer’s signature booming laugh rings out through the forest. At once, Devlin and I relax. He takes my hand and leads me off the trail, straight toward the boisterous voices. We step out of the forest and find ourselves standing on a low, rocky beach. And there before us, in all its glory, is the rest of the Circle of Death.

“What are you fuckers doing, having a beach party without us?” Devlin roars, feigning outrage as we stroll into his brothers’ midst.

“There you are!” Packer howls from the surf. “We thought you’d run off in the night together or something.”

“We sure did,” Juliet says, peering around her husband’s bulking body. I feel my sister studying me intently, and blush at once. I’m sure she can see exactly what Devlin and I have been getting up to this whole time. But oddly enough, it doesn’t look as though she disapproves.

“You’re just in time for some grub,” Xan calls from the sunny rock he’s colonized.

“Brutus has burgers and dogs on the grill,” Leon adds, passing Lobo another beer from the cooler.

“Where have you two kids been, anyway?” Otis asks, from his place overseeing Brutus at the grill.

“Come on. Not in front of the kids,” Devlin grins, nodding toward Chip and Dean. The two youngest members of the MC are tossing a football in the surf, but abandon their game immediately in the face of Devlin’s ribbing.

“You want a beer, sweetheart?” Lobo calls to me. I’m surprised to be addressed so directly. Up until now, the brothers have communicated with me almost strictly through Devlin.

“I’d love one,” I say, happily accepting a bottle.

“Hey Dev, let me grab your ear for a second,” Packer says, strolling up to us from the surf.

Packer leads Devlin off a few paces, and I turn to survey the happy scene. I’m less than surprised to find Juliet waiting by my side, hands planted on bikini-clad hips. I can’t help but glance down at her perfectly toned body a bit enviously as she stands there. Mom was always quick to praise Juliet’s slender form over my more curvy body. That old jealousy is hard to unlearn. My sister cocks her head at me, a half-smile twisting her lips.

“I’m not gonna ask you for a play-by-play,” she tells me bluntly, wringing out her long black hair. “You blush too easily anyway. But I’d be a failure of a big sister if I didn’t ask...how was it?”

“More incredible than I could possibly tell you,” I say, amazed at how easy it is to talk to my sister.

“That’s good,” she grins, giving me a playful slap on the ass, “You seem like you could use a good fuck. Or twenty. Plus, it’s been two whole nights and he’s still keeping you around. You must really rate, little sis. I guess incredible bedroom skills run in the family.”

“Don’t tell Mom,” I wink.

Juliet laughs, imagining our mother’s horror if she could see her girls now. For the first time since I arrived on this island and very literally ran into my sister, I feel like we’re on the same team again. Or at least, we’re getting there.

“Looks like I underestimated you, Logan,” Juliet says, slipping an arm around my waist. “You’d think I’d know better than that by now. Think you can forgive me?”

“That’s kind of a tall order,” I remind her.

“Well. Consider it, anyway,” she says, her smile fading just a shade. “Let’s just enjoy the day, huh?”

Luckily, I decided to wear a swimsuit under my hiking clothes, just in case Devlin and I fancied a dip at some point. I lift off my outer layers, ditching my shirt and shorts on the rocky shore. I’m a little nervous at first to be so scantily clad among Dev’s MC brothers, but they don’t seem the least bit roused by me. I guess Devlin’s message that I’m spoken for got through loud and clear. Besides, the guys have plenty of sweet butts along to entertain them—not to mention the other girls who work on the island itself. They’re certainly not wanting for female attention.

Juliet laces her fingers through mine and tugs me toward the water. We dash into the surf hand-in-hand, crying out as the cold water washes over us. In this moment, it’s almost like nothing has happened between us. Like we’re the same little girls who played on the beach on family vacations to Cape Cod. It occurs to me, splashing around in the sea with Juliet, that we could be those little girls again. Or at least the grown-up versions. She’s all but invited me back into her life, all I need to do is accept her invitation.

I could have my sister back. And all I’d have to do is embrace this family she’s found. I can’t say that it’s not a tempting offer.

As I burst up out of the cool water, I spot Devlin and Packer striding back onto the rocky beach. Concern tugs at my nerves as I spot the cloudy look on Dev’s face. Juliet frowns as she notices Packer’s similarly unsettled countenance. My sister and I exchange glances and immediately pick our way toward the shore. It’s amazing, how quickly our borderline telepathy has returned. But that’s sisterhood, I guess.

“What’s up, baby?” Juliet says to Packer, placing a hand on his broad shoulder.

“Bit of lingering business that just doesn’t want to die,” Packer says, unsmiling.

“Everything OK, though?” I ask Devlin, taking his hand in mine.

He looks down at me with troubled eyes. But even through his upset, I can see how grateful he is to have me beside him.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he assures me, laying an arm across my bare shoulders. “I promise.”

“Ok then,” I say, not entirely convinced by his assurances. “If you say so.”

“Why don’t we grab some food,” Devlin goes on, changing the subject hard. “I’m fucking starving.”

I allow him to take the lead, steering us toward the grill for some much-needed provisions. Whatever it is that Packer had to tell Devlin, I can tell that it’s weighing heavily on him. I watch him closely as he grabs us a couple of burgers and claims a wide rock for us to dine on.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” I ask him in a lowered voice, as I settle down beside him.

“I’ll be better once I’ve had something to eat,” he laughs gruffly, ripping into his burger.

“It’s just...if there’s something going on with you, or the MC, you can tell me,” I press. “That’s what I’m here for.”

“Logan,” Devlin says sharply, his patience totally spent. “I’ll tell you what you need to know, when you need to know it. Circle of Death business has nothing to do with you, OK? Just fucking drop it.”

I know I should avert my eyes, mumble an apology, pretend like nothing’s happened. But I’ve never learned how to hold my tongue when my temper is stoked.

“So I should just shut up and play the good little girl until you send me back to the mainland, is that it?” I snap heatedly.

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Devlin warns me.

“I don’t have much of a choice, when you won’t offer up any of your own,” I barrel on. “Just because I follow your lead in the bedroom, doesn’t mean I intend to roll over for you in real life, Dev. Please tell me that distinction isn’t lost on you.”

“Logan, you don’t want to know anything about my club business,” Devlin says, wrangling his voice into an even drone. “It would just freak you out. Like seeing my gun did this morning. We only have this week together, and I don’t plan on scaring you away any sooner. Trust me, the less you know about my real life, the happier you’ll be.”

“I just want to help you,” I say, reaching for his hand, “You seem so upset, and—”

“Goddamn it Logan, cut it with this shit, would you?” Devlin explodes, knocking my hand away from his. “What part of ‘drop it’ do you not fucking understand?”

His words cut me to the quick. A sudden surge of hurt wrings my heart. To my surprise, stinging tears spring to my eyes. I turn quickly away from Devlin, unwilling to let him see me cry. I pick myself up off the rock and hurry away.

“Where are you going?” Devlin demands, catching me by the wrist.

“I just need a second,” I mutter, trying to speak around the knot in my throat.

“Logan, what the hell is going on?” he asks, getting a good look at my tear-filled eyes. His sudden concern sends fat, salty drops rolling down my cheeks.

“I thought we weren’t asking each other any questions,” I say, anger and heartache vying for control of my mind and heart. “Let me go, Dev.”

“Fine,” he says shortly, dropping my arm with a bit more force than he might. “You do whatever you like, Logan. I’m not your fucking mother.”

I have to struggle to swallow a sudden sob as I tear away from Devlin, taking off into the forest once more. He doesn’t move to follow me as I go. God knows, Devlin’s the most immovable, righteous man I’ve ever met. I guess it was wishful thinking to assume he’d budge an inch for me. But as I flee through the foliage, I do hear a different set of feet on my trail.

“Logan, wait up!” Juliet calls out from behind me.

“Leave me alone,” I tell her, picking my way through the thick underbrush. I’ve lost the trail somehow, and vicious thorns are scraping my bare legs. I’ve given up trying to keep the tears from streaming down my face as I finally come to a stop.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Juliet asks, her breath short from the chase.

“I’m just...I feel so lost,” I stammer, fighting to speak through my tears. I sink down onto the forest floor, leaning back against a towering oak. “This place has got me all mixed up.”

“Is it really this place that’s throwing you for a loop?” Juliet asks gently, kneeling before me, “Or is it Dev?”

“Of course it’s Dev,” I tell her, “But it’s not just him. It’s being alone out here. Finding you after all these years. Wondering if I even want to go back to the life that’s waiting for me back on the mainland—”

“Have you been thinking about...staying? With us?” Juliet asks. I look up, surprised to hear a note of hope in her voice. There’s no use trying to hide my feelings from her.

“I can’t help but wonder what it would be like,” I say softly. It feels daring, even admitting this much to my sister. Like if I put voice to my secret desires, I’ll have no choice but to act on them. But maybe that wouldn’t be such a terrible thing, chasing down something I want for a change.

“I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this,” Juliet goes on, wrapping her arms around her knees, “But our world can be a fucked up, scary place. And once you embrace the outlaw life, there’s not really any going back.”

“That’s the thing, Juliet,” I say, “I don’t have anything to go back to. I mean, I guess I’m on my way to living the post-college millennial dream, or whatever. I’ve got an apartment in Boston with my best friend, a new job that’s going to clear my student loans in no time—”

“Student loans?” Juliet asks, distracted, “What happened to Mom and Dad paying for your education?”

“Remember their caveat,” I smile ruefully, “They only agreed to pay if we studied something practical. I was a communications major.”

“Oof,” Juliet groans, “Mom must have flipped her ever-loving shit.”

“That’s the understatement of the decade,” I laugh, brushing away the lingering tears from my cheeks.

“But you’ve got a big, fancy job waiting for you,” Juliet goes on, “That must be pretty satisfying, being able to shove it in her face.”

I think about my parents’ reaction when I told them about my gig with
FootSolider
. Satisfying is not exactly the word I’d use to describe that encounter.

“It’s all a bit...complicated, to be honest,” I sigh, realizing that the last thing I want to discuss with Juliet is the fact that I’m actually here to write an expose about her new family.

“Do you mind if I offer you some big-sisterly advice?” she asks, looking at me intently in the dim light of the forest.

“Shoot,” I tell her, “I could certainly use some words of wisdom right now.”

“You’ve obviously got a lot on your mind, and a huge decision to make,” Juliet begins, laying a hand on my arm. “I know you’re afraid to consider what it would really be like to join up with us, stay with Devlin. But you have to commit to asking yourself that question. Really grab hold of that choice and look it in the eye. No half-measures here, Logan. Imagine what your life would be like without us, with Devlin. Ask yourself if you could live like that. If the answer is yes, if you could bear to go back to your normal life, you should do it. The MC life doesn’t abide anything less than full throttle commitment. If even the tiniest part of you wants to go home, then go. I won’t blame you for it.”