Circle of Desire (23 page)

“I can help you with that if you want,” Ryker offered.

His blank face told Collin more than he wanted to know. The man who was his brother had no conscience and would have no problem killing him.

“Would you?” Trying one more time to reason with his brother, Collin spoke in an even tone, hoping he would listen. “Don’t you think we need to work together to bring the OS back into The Circle and to regain the good reputation our dad had worked so hard for?”

“I’m not Theo. When you parted with The Circle, you proved you no longer deserved to be part of the organization.” The last of the words came out of Ryker’s mouth as a growl and he placed one hand on the table as if he was about to attack.

Collin grabbed Rex before he met Ryker head on. The click of a gun bolt being pushed alerted him. Not loosening his grip on Rex, he turned. Olivia held her submachine gun to her shoulder and pointed at Ryker.

“I don’t care if you have half his face. I’ll blow it all off if you move another inch.” She stood with legs apart and elbows out.

“You need to call off your woman.” The look Ryker gave Olivia said he found her actions titillating and Collin didn’t like it one bit.

“I believe we’ve all had enough,” said Collin.

He saw no way to come to terms with his brother at this time. He needed to get his best friend and his woman under control. Yeah. His woman. He liked that. He looked at her holding the dangerous weapon and a stirring below his waist warned him he needed to get
himself
under control.

With a push he released Rex and turned to watch Ryker walk away, going out the same door he’d entered, leaving it open.

Jack fell in behind Ryker until Rex shouted, “Hey, stay. We’re brothers. We can talk it out. I’ll forgive you.”

Rex’s brother stopped. Head down, he stared at the floor and smoothed a hand over his tanned scalp.

“There you’re wrong. I’ve done things you’ll never forgive,” he said as he lifted his gaze.

Such anguish on his face brought an answering one from Rex’s. Then Jack stepped into the alleyway and the shadows beyond.

Rex probably felt like Collin did, unsure what to do next. Seeing Theo’s body draped over the throne-like chair brought the realization an era had ended. His dad and Theo had created an organization to fight the evil elements and protect the weak. Except his dad had been killed by his best friend. Remembering what his dad had quoted to him one time, he murmured, “Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

“Maybe your brother learned from Theo’s mistakes.” Olivia stepped closer and asked, “Are you okay?”

When his gaze fell on her hand resting on his arm, she pulled away. He let her. They had a lot to discuss and he needed to decide if what he felt for her was lust or something more.

“I’m fine. I need to get back to my people and check on our new facilities,” he said as he tried to avoid the tears shining in her beautiful green eyes. Relief loosened the tension in his body when she looked away.

“Well, I guess it’s goodbye.” She cleared her throat.

“What the hell do you mean goodbye?” he shouted. The tension tightened around his chest again. He wanted her in his life.

“Listen, you got what you want. Theo’s dead.” She gave him her back. “He can’t . . . oh, God, he’s gone.” Her body shuddered as he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

“Shhh. Be happy that you didn’t do it and won’t have that on your conscience. Every time he ordered someone’s death, his was assured to happen in the same way.” He pressed his mouth to the top of her head as he squeezed her. She vigorously shook her head. “You know I’m right.”

She pulled away and faced him. “No. You misunderstand. I wanted to be the one to kill him. I hated him!” she hissed. “I hated what he did to me and made me do.” Fat tears rolled down her face. Her eyes red and skin botchy.

Knowing the eccentric bastard, Collin had a good idea the degradation and misery she’d suffered until she found a way to escape death by the old man’s hands. There was nothing he could say to help her forget. So he tightened his hold and brought her against him. She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder.

Minutes passed and Collin heard Rex call their cleanup crew. By the time they showed up, Olivia had regained her composure.

“C
ollin,” Olivia said as she rubbed her cheek against his chest.

Dry eyed, she soaked up his undivided attention even with all the activity surrounding them. The cleanup crew had arrived and was doing their job. Before the sun rose again, the place would be cleaned of blood and fingerprints, bullet holes would be repaired, or any sign that anything lethal happened would be gone.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

His eyes had been closed when she’d moved her head from his shoulder. Now he looked down at her with a tenderness she’d never experienced from him. Could he have feelings for her? Real feelings? If that was true, what she must say would extinguish any chance.

“I’m leaving and returning to The Circle.”

His arms fell away from her. All activity around them stopped.

“Why?” he asked.

How could she tell him she wasn’t good enough for him? How could he look at her knowing she’d killed so many OS operatives? She only hoped some were common psychos like Theo had told her. Theo’s taunts reminded her of what she really was. Collin deserved a good woman without blood on her hands. She needed time to think.

“Ryker will get you killed,” he simply stated.

“As you mentioned before, I’m too valuable to your brother.”

She wished she could lie to Collin and tell him it was for the common good. Only one reason existed. She was scared. The man in front of her had become too important in her life. He may care for her, but he would never love her. And she never believed in all that martyred shit people tried to feed each other. Just being around him and seeing him every day was not enough. A piece of her would die each day. Since she wasn’t fit to live with regular folk, she would return to what she knew best. Killing for The Circle.

“You know the OS will continue to work at stopping The Circle if he continues Theo’s policies.” His jaw shifted.

Good. His being mad was better than acting as if he didn’t care. He would never beg, not that it would change her mind.

She looked around, swallowing the lump in her throat, determined to act as if they discussed her resigning from a job and nothing more. An unreal quality had her reaching out to touch his cheek. He jerked back. Yeah. The sum total of their relationship, they didn’t trust each other. No. That wasn’t quite right. She trusted him completely. He trusted her not at all. He believed she was betraying him by leaving.

“Goodbye.” She waited for his response.

His lips remained closed. She placed the MP5 on the table and walked away, leaving through the same door Ryker and Jack had hours earlier.

As soon as she reached some distance from the warehouse, she wandered aimlessly down several streets. The few people she passed gave her a wide berth as tears soaked her reddened cheeks and dripped off her chin. She came to a bus stop and sat on the bench as she stared off into the air. Thankfully people on this side of town never meddled in weeping women’s affairs. Some days she hated being a woman with churning emotions popping up no matter how hard she tried to hold them back. She wished she could be as cold and unemotional as the men in her life.

She wiped the tears onto her sleeves and stood straight. Being a wimp wouldn’t get her what she wanted. There was no way she could go back to The Circle. Ryker would make her think of Collin too much. She had to think of something else.

She needed a new direction in her life. New experiences would be great too. Being alone as an orphan child and adult had never bothered her.

She snapped her fingers.

The orphans at St. Vincent! She’d never felt comfortable around children, but falling in love had made her realize she wanted children. Even though she couldn’t physically have any of her own she had an orphanage full to call her own. Helping them would help her move on. Give her the experience of doing something right. She could do it.

In a cloud of exhaust fumes and screeching brakes, a bus stopped in front of her. She blinked. The street name on the sign flashing above the driver happened to be two blocks from St. Vincent. She’d never been on a city bus. She laughed. A sign. A real sign. Someone up there agreed with her decision and had provided her transportation.

Maybe afterwards she would see a new sign for how to teach a hardheaded man a lesson.

Chapter Thirty-Two

C
ollin stalked down the hallway of Olivia’s house. By the time he reached the last room, sweat beaded on his forehead and his heart pounded against his chest. Had he missed her? Where could she be?

Despair drew him to the window overlooking the small garden in the back. He held back the curtains with shaking hands. How many nights had he stared at his ceiling wanting her and wishing he’d gone after her?

Sheets of rain poured from the heavens. An old-fashioned two-seater swing hung from large oak tree’s limb and swayed. His gaze moved to the other side of the yard. That was when he saw her. She stood on a moon-shaped cement patio about ten feet from the back door. He’d thought at first she was a statue as she stood in the middle with her hands reaching toward the sky. Her long nightgown stuck to her body and water flowed off the white folds of cloth.

By the time he reached the backyard, he’d expected her to disappear like the dreams he grabbed for each night since she left two months ago. The downpour had slowed to a drizzle. She remained in the center but now with her arms held out to the sides and her head thrown back as she let the mist wash her face. A willing sacrifice to the night.

He couldn’t bring himself to touch her and break the spell she weaved around him. Beads of water decorated the tips of her eyelashes. From the outside corners of her eyes, thin streams ran down her temples. She looked as if she was crying. Was she as unhappy as he’d been?

“Olivia?”

He leaned over her body, almost touching, his lips a breath away from her moist ones. Her eyes drifted open and more water flowed from their depths.

“Collin?” she said his name as if she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Yes.”

“I’ve missed you.”

She brought her arms around and clasped his shoulders. Her body trembled against his. He licked her bottom lip, savoring the taste of her mixed with the cool moisture.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

His hands covered her breasts and lifted them as he placed a kiss on the cloth cupping each taunt nipple.

“No. But I ache for you.”

He dropped his hands to her hips and pulled on the cloth, but the wet material clung to her body. Impatient and wanting to see the body he missed so much, he slipped out his knife and sliced the front of the gown from neck to knee.

“You realize you owe me for two gowns now.” Her words brushed his neck as he leaned forward to tear the material off her body.

He inhaled, enjoying the way her cool breasts warmed against his chest. The fragrance of vanilla brought back memories of their time together. An exotic scent mixed with the familiar. He pulled her into his arms and his hands slid down her back.

“I’ve missed you,” he repeated.

His mouth covered hers and met coldness. He looked down to see lips made of chiseled stone. Stumbling back, he realized he’d been making love to a statue. What happened? His eyes searched the area surrounding the patio and then caught movement in the window he’d peered out earlier.

Then a strange sensation pulled his gaze to the front of his shirt. A small green spot danced across his chest.

“No! Olivia! It’s me!”

He lifted his hand, signaling to her to stop. The sounds of the computer on her sniper rifle winding up reached his ears. With a jerk, his body was sailing through the air and everything around him turned red.

With heart pounding, he woke as lightning lit up his bedroom. A shadow moved near the window, at the same time, thunder shook the bed. He tried to sit up but his wrists remained near his head. Manacles chained him to the headboard. When he shifted his feet, he felt the same around his ankles.

“Olivia?”

O
livia loved thunderstorms. When she was little she remembered the nuns warning her of how dangerous it was to stand near the windows. Considering the numerous ways she’d come close to dying over the last few years, she wasn’t too worried about lightning.

Just then a bright line divided the sky for a few seconds, quickly followed by thunder echoing above her head. Rain pelted the window as the wind shoved drops sideways. On the radio earlier, she’d heard tornado warnings would hang around until the early morning hours. A sense of anticipation dangled in the air.

“Olivia?”

“Finally, my Prince Charming is awake.” She climbed onto the bed and straddled his big body, her face above his. “I thought I would have to start without you.”

The chains holding the manacles rattled as he tried to reach for her. She didn’t move. It would take two thousand pounds of pressure to break the chain holding him. Only the best for what she had planned.

“Did my brother send you?” he asked as his eyes flared when her naked body rested onto top of his.

How convenient that he slept in the nude. Though she had to admit she would enjoy tearing his clothes off.

She chuckled.

“I can promise you, your brother had nothing to do with this.”

His gaze darted to her breasts. Oh, yeah, he liked what he saw as she felt him lengthen and become thicker. Torturing herself was not in her plans, so with a slight shift of her hips, she sank down on him. The thickness filling her brought a sigh to her lips. He felt so good.

“Dammit. Get off me.”

His body told a different story. He arched and then followed with a thrust of his hips.

“What fun would that be?” she whispered and groaned.

She closed her eyes and lifted and lowered her body. How many nights had she stared at the ceiling wishing he rested between her thighs doing this?

Not once had the thought of taking another lover into her bed crossed her mind. The man beneath her was unique and matched her perfectly. She would never be able to control him, glancing at the chains she amended that thought, except with a little help and for a short time.

He jerked on his shackles.

“You’re going to regret this.”

She laughed.

“That’s rich. I believe I said the same thing when you handcuffed me.”

Every taut masculine muscle in his chest shifted when hers came to rest on top.

She nipped at his ear. “My only regret is the last few months we wasted time with our hardheadedness. We could’ve been doing this.”

Her mouth covered his. Satisfaction heated her body as his mouth responded.

When their lips parted, he said in the soft voice that sent shivers of lust through her body, “Let me go so we can do this right.”

Oh, she was tempted. He was the only man she’d ever made love to that she allowed to take control. Her body shivered in remembrance of their time in the cabin. Her mouth dropped to his neck and licked the place where his heartbeat pumped so strong. The tart smell and taste of Collin drove her to a frantic pace. His groan reassured her that he wanted this as bad as she did. In seconds, rolling waves of sensation pounded in every direction from where he filled her. Then Collin arched against her and moaned.

She moved off him and the bed, stepping into the bathroom. Moments later, she returned with a warm, damp cloth. She took her time cleaning the part of him that provided so much pleasure as she ignored his angry stares.

“Now, Olivia, release me.”

Her nipples tightened. Was her body ever satisfied very long around him? His low, harsh voice commanding her was such a turn-on.

“No.”

She almost giggled when he narrowed his eyes. Maybe she should be afraid of him. He’d shown her several times how dangerous he could be, but during the last couple months she’d realized how much she missed him. He’d gotten under her skin and she wanted to prove to him how much she loved him. Every time she said that to herself, she couldn’t help but smile. Such a unique experience, loving someone else.

Sure, he could turn her down, but she had to try to make him understand. In her business lying was expected. So she doubted he would believe her. Showing would have to do the trick. If she released him, he would only send her away. She wanted to show him all the ways she loved him.

“This is crazy. Okay. You’ve paid me back plus some. Let me go.”

When she continued to wipe a well-muscled thigh with special care, his cock began stretching, recovering from their little romp.

“Dammit! Stop now.”

She threw the cloth on the floor and swept one hand up his length. “You don’t mean it.”

“Watch me.”

He jerked and pulled on the chains. The metal dug red marks around his wrists.

“Stop it! You’re hurting yourself.”

“Then let me go!”

“If you really wanted me to let you go, you would’ve already called out for help. Rex is down the hall and your guards are alive. I didn’t hurt any of them.” She moved her hands away and stood. “I’m only trying to make you understand that I love you.”

His cold look told her so much. She’d been wrong. He didn’t want to hear about how much she loved him. She’d never told a living soul that before. Her greatest fear was realized, she was unlovable. Nausea bubbled up from her stomach, almost to her throat. Even when he hadn’t followed her out of that warehouse or checked on her all these weeks, months ago, she’d thought it had been only his pride. She’d thought if she put him in a position of . . . oh, Christ! Her logic was all screwed up. You don’t chain up someone you love.

She walked over to the nightstand and pulled out the top drawer. Her hands were steady. The numbness that always fell over her as she prepared to kill someone pulled her into the near trance she hated. When she unlocked the first ring, he snapped the key out of her hand and made short work of the other manacles.

He moved off the bed and stood in front of her, his fists clenching open and close. The fury radiating from his body popped her back to defensive mode.

“Go ahead and get Rex, you crazy bastard. I love you and I refuse to force any man to love me! Go ahead and kill me. But you’ll always wonder what you missed out on.”

Not caring if she was about to die or not, she stood and reached for her blouse at the end of the bed. Collin snatched it from her hand and threw it on the floor. More thunder shook the walls, rattling the window.

“It was driving me nuts, not being able to touch you as I’ve dreamed about for so many nights.” He kissed her. The power of the kiss left no doubt in her mind what he had on his. “I love you, you crazy bitch.” His hands roamed all over her body until he cupped her butt and lifted, throwing her on the bed. “Now it’s time for me to do what I’ve wanted for a long time.”

Her breath was short and she barely asked, “What’s that?”

“Fuck your brains out!”

She wrapped her arms and legs around him. Her laughter bounced off the walls as Rex and the guards probably heard Collin’s every word. Her soft-spoken man had expressed his and her feelings plainly and loudly.

“Finally,” she whispered in his ear.

“I
don’t care how many times you suck my dick, I’ll talk with him when I damn well feel like it.”

From where Olivia kneeled at his feet, she watched as he tucked his semi-hard cock tenderly back into his pants with shaky hands. She loved flustering him.

Two days earlier, she’d found out from Rex that Arthur had left a message for Collin to call him back. Rex had shaken his head in disgust. “He’s being hardheaded and won’t tell me when he plans to return the call.”

They hadn’t heard from Collin’s brother in four months, not since he walked out of the warehouse after killing Theo. Rumors trickled into the OS that The Circle had moved its headquarters into the mountains of east Tennessee where no one could find them and besides a few Circle missions that had gone sour, nothing else had been heard from the large and dangerous organization. Collin believed they were regrouping, getting used to the new order of things. Still, it worried her.

She grinned. “Am I so predictable now?”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. “You’re many things, but never predictable.”

“How old were you when your parents died?” she asked the question before thinking it through. In their time together, they rarely spoke of the past.

“Ten.”

“Poor baby.” She smoothed his hair and kissed his cheek. A muscle near his mouth twitched. Was he trying not to smile or was he bothered by her compassion? Even after all this time, she still couldn’t read him. Maybe that was why they were so good together. They didn’t take each other for granted.

“You’d told me once there were nine months between you and your brother. So he was around eleven. That had to be a horrible time.”

She unbuttoned his shirt a couple of notches and slipped her hand inside. The feel of his hard chest and the sprinkling of hair against her hand sent a tingling through her body. Touching him was such a turn-on.

“Dammit, Olivia. I’m not your scratching post.” He pulled away from her and walked back to his desk and sat.

“Oh, but you like this little pussy cat so much.”

She purred and laughed when his eyes flared amber. Seeing that look in his eyes always reassured her he was still fascinated. Not since that stormy night together had he told her he loved her again. But she understood he wasn’t the type to say it often, if at all. That one time would have to be enough.

One side of his mouth arched up. Oh, yeah. There was that smile she rarely saw but loved so much.

“You got me there.” He typed on the keyboard as he stared into the monitor. “Be a good little kitten and come over here and look at this.”

“You sure you want me that close to you during your
working hours
?” The last two words she emphasized by doing air quotation marks. After a year together, he’d set ground rules that she must behave herself during certain hours of the day. Otherwise, she shot his concentration to hell and back.

“Yeah. You know you’d better behave.”

“But I love it when you get all manly and try to boss me around.” She moved behind him and looked over his shoulder. An aerial view of buildings surrounded by razor wire and towering trees appeared on the monitor. “Is that what I think it is?”

“The new Circle’s headquarters.”

“It’s huge. No way could he build all of that in four months.” From what she could see, parts of it literally spilled out of mountain and the mountain sat in the middle of ten thousand acres.