City of Dragons: Of Flesh and Blood (28 page)

She said, “You need help.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You do. You do need help. You just don’t know it.”

“No, Claire. I don’t. I don’t need saving. I just need to keep the people who can get hurt out of the way. I know how to survive, but you don’t.” He put the car back in gear and pulled up to the drive-through. “Can I borrow a ten?” Between sniffling and wiping her eyes, Claire dug the money out of her pocket. Farley took it and ordered as much as he could.

After he got his food he parked the car and opened the door.

Claire said, “Where are you going?”

Farley couldn’t help but think about how she’d been there for him. And how thinking she could always be there was nothing more than a fantasy. He could see that now. He wasn’t a Dominant. He wasn’t strong enough to keep her safe.

Farley got out of the car.

Claire fumbled with her seat belt, then the door. “Farley!”

He stopped a few yards away. “I owe you for helping me, so I’m cutting you loose.”

Claire’s eyes went wide, then narrowed. A bright red flush blossomed across her cheeks and the scent of anger wavered in the air. How did he explain this to her? How did he tell her what he felt? Tell her what he feared?

Farley sighed and moved the bag of food to his other hand. His shoulders slumped. “I want to
keep
you Claire.” There, he said it. “I love the way you taste. If Darco were to…”
Make me hurt you
. “I know you want to understand, but the fact is you’re Human and understanding isn’t enough. I’m not strong enough to protect you and I care too much about you to put you in the way.”

The tears were back in Claire’s eyes. “I don’t want you to leave. Please, we’ll think of something….”

Farley clenched his eyes shut. Damn it, she needed to stop crying, it made her sound like prey.

“Farley…please…please…”

Claire’s small feet made timid sounds on the asphalt as she got closer. The scent of her fear, the high pitched tone of her voice in distress. Farley couldn’t help himself. His head turned and his lip rolled. The Wendy’s bag hit the ground and Farley went forward. His hands closed on Claire’s arms and he shoved her against the car. She struggled in his grip, like something small, weak and meant to be torn to bits.

Farley pinned her with his body, her legs apart, his erection pushing against her core, his mouth on her neck, tasting. His teeth punched down and Claire screamed.

The sound was like a two-by-four between the eyes.

Farley jerked back and one of his fangs caught her across the shoulder deep enough to draw blood. “Son-of-a-bitch…”

Panicked, he spit, trying to get the taste out of his mouth. But that sweetness was already all over his tongue. The ache between his legs became unbearable. Farley dropped to the ground and crawled to the sack of hamburgers. White paper shredded under his trembling hands as he forced down bite after choking bite. When he cleaned out the last one, he ate the paper wrappers just because.

He waited….waited….rocking back and forth, but the hunger, the unbearable need for Human flesh and blood didn’t happen. When he could trust himself again he looked up.

Claire stood next to her car holding a tissue against her collarbone. She wasn’t crying anymore. For some reason the disgusted expression on her face was twice as bad.

God of Man, he felt like an ass. “I’m sorry.”

Claire didn’t say anything. She just kept dabbing the spot and looking at the red blotches on the tissue.

Farley ran a hand over his face, then the top of his head. “I don’t want to hurt you, Claire, but I don’t have the kind of control that it takes to be with you.”

She glared. “You never had a problem before.”

“That’s because I wasn’t in a position to be put out of control. A lot has happened in the past eight hours, and I don’t have Haley to ground me.” Claire flinched and her lips thinned out. Farley shook his head. “I’m sorry but I’m not trustworthy without her. I never have been.” Or will be.

Make that,
wanted
to be.

Claire said, “Then make me your Link.”

Farley winced. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to
keep
me. Keep me.” Her feet shuffled like she might walk forward, then she seemed to remember what happened the last time she got too close. “Please, Farley, I want you to
keep
me.”

“No you don’t.”

“Quit telling me what I want!”

“Why not? Because you sure as hell aren’t thinking this through.”

Claire said, “I know you…me.”

Farley could practically feel the L word hanging in the air between them.

“And I would think that after tonight night you’d have an idea as to just how far I’m willing to go to prove I love you.”

If only it were so simple. If only it was about loving someone,
keeping
someone, but it wasn’t. At least, not for Kin. There was always someone bigger, stronger, and more vicious waiting to challenge dominance. And if another Male wanted Claire, Farley wouldn’t stand a chance. He knew that, but looking at Claire it was obvious she didn’t.

“I’m sorry. I can’t protect you.”

“I don’t need to be protected!”

“Yeah, you do. You just don’t know it and thinking you don’t is exactly the kind of thing that will get you killed. I’m Food, Claire, I’m not strong enough to keep you. Even if I could mark you, even if I could make you my Link, I’d never be able to keep you safe.”

She made a disgusted sound. “You’re nothing but a coward, Farley.”

He brought his eyes back up. “Maybe I am, but it keeps me alive.”

“That’s not what I mean. You’re afraid you’ll be happy. You don’t want to be happy. You hide behind your Kin culture so you don’t have to face the real world.”

Real world? What the hell was she talking about? But if he really thought about it, Farley already knew the answer.

And yet he asked, “What world would that be, Claire?”

“The one where you can’t act like an animal all the time. The one which says you have to think about your choices. The real world, where people have relationships and families, they follow laws, rules, and they don’t hurt each other or take being hurt, and hide behind some excuse of dominance.” There was a lot of anger in her cornflower gaze, a lot of frustration, but what made Farley’s blood run cold was the self righteousness. “That’s the world you’re avoiding. That’s the world you refuse to be a part of.” Claire leaned against the car and crossed her arms over her stomach.

Silence. Then Farley said, “You’re absolutely right.” She blinked at him and the smug look on her face faltered. “I am avoiding that world, Claire. Your world. I’m not Human and no matter what you think, what you offer me, I will never be Human. If you became my Link, I would still stay with Haley, I would still go back to the Dens, my
Brother
would still take from me, and you would still be a target. It would change nothing, because I can’t change what I am.”

Farley realized he was screaming and stopped. One breath, two. When he spoke again his voice was barely a whisper. “I’m a beast.”

“Don’t say that--”

“Why? Because you don’t like to think about what you’ve been fucking? I’m a dragon. I’m not a man.” Farley waved his hand indicating his body head to toe. “I walk around like this because I have to, not because I want to.”

“Lots of Kin live normal lives.”

“Normal lives?” Farley rubbed his chest because it hurt.

“Yes, normal lives.”

It was real obvious what she meant by normal. As in Human.

“Yeah, you know what? Fuck you, Claire.” Farley turned on his heel and walked away. When Claire yelled for him to stop he picked up his pace and ran.

Maze asked everyone to wait until his perimeter man made sure there were no hidden threats. Orin never saw the man who was taking a look around, but Maze’s cell phone rang and he said thanks and hung up.

Maze looked at them. “It’s clear. I’ll be here tomorrow around twelve noon so be ready.”

Haley gave him a tired thank you. Deshi and Orin shook his hand.

They headed into the lobby and a nervous desk clerk waved Deshi down. “Your package arrived about an hour ago. I had it moved upstairs.”

Orin had to look away. The guy kept fluttering his hands and rocking on his feet, reminding him of wounded birds.

Deshi finished with the desk clerk and led the way to the elevator. The clock above the door read quarter till one. Orin looked down at Haley. She had her hand over her mouth trying to stifle a yawn. After Deshi punched a button on the panel, he dropped an arm down around her shoulder.

The doors closed and suddenly the space they were in was too small. By the time the lift stopped Orin was ready to peel out of his skin. Deshi punched some numbers on the key pad and the doors slid open. Haley stumbled and the Prince reached down and scooped her up.

Orin followed him in the direction of the bedroom. “Is she okay?”

Deshi gave a small smile and a nod. “She’s fine. Just exhausted.”

He stalled out in the doorway when Deshi put Haley down on the bed and began to undress her.

Orin watched while trying not to. “You sure she’s all right?”

“Yeah, she’s just needs to
feed
and
she needs to rest. Between you and Medan I think Haley’s just had more than she can handle today.” Deshi folded her sweater and her skirt, then reached to unfasten her bra.

Orin gave a cough and looked out the door, spotted the fridge, and said, “I’m going to find something to eat.” He wasn’t about to sit and watch the Prince tend to her.

He went across the room where everything gleamed in shades of peach and gold. The kitchen was just as fancy, all stainless steel and granite counter tops. He opened the fridge, which wound up being just as shiny on the inside as it was on the outside.

Orin spotted the plate of filet mignon and grabbed it. He wolfed down two before he could even get to the table. The hunger made his manners less than spectacular but at least he was alone. Until Deshi came back through the doorway. Even in a blood splattered shirt and baggy skater pants he looked every bit the Prince he was.

Deshi walked to the fridge and pulled out a silver pitcher. He poured the contents into two dark colored mugs. Orin concentrated on chewing. Stuffing his face took his mind off other things. Illicit inhuman things.

From behind him, Deshi said, “You really need to
feed
.” A mug landed in front of Orin and the Prince took up a chair at the end of the table. Orin picked up the cup and drank. The cream slid down his throat like silk. He didn’t stop until it was empty.

The cup made a hollow sound when he put it down. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Deshi nursed his cup of cream and Orin tore into another chunk of meat. He couldn’t stand the Male staring at him. All pity, all concern, all I’m-so-better-than-you-are. But then the Jersey City Prince had the gift of making one inferior about breathing the same air. Or maybe it was just Orin’s imagination?

Deshi was definitely not the type of Kin Orin would have ever sought out as a friend, but they were always winding up at the same fancy dinners, political and social gatherings. It was how they all met, three domesticated Kin who were safe to parade around in public.

Deshi’s eyes continued to burn holes in the top of his head. Orin said, “What?”

The Prince shifted in his seat and crossed his legs. “Would you mind telling me happened back there at the police station?”

A small growl trickled out of Orin’s throat. He shoved half a steak in his mouth and chewed. Slowly.

Eventually he had to swallow. “Which part? When they beat the shit out of me or when Brian Gilsp decided to do a scene from Deliverance on me with a night stick?” Deshi’s face remained unchanged. “Will you quit staring at me like a dog that just took a shit on your lawn!”

The Prince’s gaze slid away. Orin knew it was the hunger making his temper short. The fact that he disliked Deshi didn’t help.

You don’t dislike him. You’re jealous of him
. Orin told himself to shut up.

Deshi shook his head. “I mean, when you wouldn’t let Haley
feed
you. She wanted to help you, Orin, and you denied her.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, well, she’s my friend and I don’t want to ruin it.”

“She’s Female.”

“Impressed by a Human woman, Deshi. She has no concept of what it’s really like. Haley has Farley and you, and at the worst she deals with Submissives down in the Tanks. She’s never known what it means to be with a Dominant and I don’t want to hurt her by showing her.”

Orin went back to the steaks and polished off the last three before getting up and pouring another cup of cream.

From the table Deshi said, “And what makes you think you’re not hurting her by telling her no? She may have been
impressed
by a Human but her instincts are all Kin.”

“No, they aren’t.” Orin took a few swallows. “Her Human impressions make her …concerned.”

“And her Kin instincts make her want to
feed
your
need
.”

Orin drained the cup and still felt like shit. Deshi was right. He needed the flesh and blood of his own. Damn it. He rubbed his mouth, then ran a hand over the top of his head. All the while the Prince waited for him to answer. “I’m sorry, Deshi. It’s not going to happen.”

“You could have Raged, Orin. Then a lot of innocent people would have been hurt.”

“I don’t Rage.”

“All Kin Rage.”

Orin pegged him with a hard stare. “I don’t Rage. Ever.”

Deshi stared at him for a long moment. “That’s not possible.”

Orin let himself smile, if only a little.

Suck it up, Prince of Perfect. Just because you can’t do it doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
Aloud he said, “Eight hundred years gives a Male a lot of time to learn a few tricks.”

“But you’re talking about suppressing a biological reaction. That’s like saying you can hold your breath forever.”

“Well then, I guess I don’t have to breathe.” Orin tipped his mug at Deshi. “Trust me. I. Do. Not. Rage. Not even Medan can force me over. And believe you me, when I was with her, she tried.” Boy, had she. The Queen hadn’t been anything like Serena, but being with her was no party. In the end, the price had been worth it. Giving the Atlanta Queen what she wanted earned Orin
seclusion
and his freedom.