Claiming His Bride (5 page)
Read Claiming His Bride Online
Authors: Marie Medina
He took the roses up to her, anxious to see the happy
expression on her face. Since it and her gratitude were directed toward him,
her joy didn’t bother him. In fact, enjoying the rewards of this misguided
man’s effort gave him a strange sort of pleasure.
Though he hadn’t yet made a declaration, he knew he did love
her. He simply hadn’t devised a plan for telling her yet. He wanted it to be
perfect, since he had never had a chance to court her until after they were
already married. Also, he could admit he was nervous about telling her. Happy
as she might be, she still might not feel the way he did. He didn’t want her to
pretend to love him because she felt guilt or gratitude. He wanted to truly inspire
that emotion in her.
He knocked and entered their bedroom, finding her sitting at
the desk by the window. She looked confused and concerned. He set the flowers
down and went to her side.
“Is everything all right?” he asked.
Her eyes focused on a letter in her hand. “This was bought
up this morning. Bastian, why did you ask about a man named William?”
His heart gave a thud. “I had my reasons. Why?”
She stared at the letter a moment longer, and then held it
up to him. “This letter is addressed to Lady
Aslet
,
but I do not know this person. His name is William. There is no return address,
and I do not recognize the handwriting.”
He took the letter from her.
I am making arrangements. It
has been far too long. I am sorry I was not there to stop the wedding, but all
will be well soon. I will be able to take care of you now. Think of me. I think
of you every moment. I have a strategy for meeting with you, and we can make
our plans then.
Your
William.
The brief letter angered him, but before speaking he
examined her face. Her confusion was not feigned. She would have hidden this
letter immediately if she really had a lover who still wanted her.
“
have you ever turned a man down? Refused a dance?
An
invitation to take a turn in a garden?
An offer to
escort you somewhere?
Anything?
Has anyone ever
behaved inappropriately? Did your father ever tell you not to speak with any
certain man, or forbidden anyone to address you?”
She thought for a moment and then shook her head. “I’ve
always been gracious. I don’t believe anyone has ever been this interested in
me. Certainly no one ever expressed anything like this. His tone and words
imply a relationship that does not exist.” She bit her lower lip. “Bastian, you
asked about this man weeks ago. I don’t understand.”
He couldn’t lie to her now; he’d already made that mistake.
But what choice had he had?
“
you’re going to be angry with me. I’ve lied to you.”
Her eyes flicked to the letter in his hand. “Lied to me?
About what?”
“The pink roses—all of them—have come from this man.
And the ribbons as well.
I destroyed the cards because I
thought he was a former lover. I was jealous.”
She paled. “You thought I was lying to you, so you lied to
me?”
He went down on one knee in front of her. “I was jealous, as
I said. I didn’t want to believe my wife might still be in love with another.”
“Hiding this from me would not have changed how I felt,
Bastian.”
“I know. Please forgive me. What man would be pleased by
another man sending his wife flowers?”
She took the letter from him. “But you gave the flowers to
me. You simply got rid of the cards.” She tossed the letter on the desk.
“Bastian, this man knows where we live. Your jealousy has put me in danger all
this time.”
“Danger?”
She looked up, anger sparking in her eyes. “I don’t know a
William. This man could be dangerous, as he obviously thinks something is going
on between us. I cannot think of a single suspect. It must be a stranger who
has seen me socially.”
“What about the cook? Could it be him?”
She shook her head. “He’s in
had to go home to take care of his family. Besides, we talked often. I would
have known if he’d had any interest in me.”
“I see.”
Tears formed in her eyes, and he watched her struggling to
hold them back.
“
don’t be frightened. I won’t leave your side until we get to the bottom of
this.”
She turned accusing eyes to him. “Bastian, while it worries
me, I am not crying because I am afraid. I’m hurt. For a month, you lied to me.
You didn’t trust me. How can I trust a man who deceived me so easily?”
“
I am sorry.” He reached for her hand. “I know it may take time for you to
forgive me.”
She moved out of his reach and stood up. “Why should I
believe your apology? Now, I suppose, your odd behavior after our wedding makes
sense, but … I can’t excuse your behavior. Jealousy is no justification here.
How can I believe any of the promises you’ve made? You were able to smile and
act normal knowing about this man and thinking there had been something between
us, that there might still be something between us. You said this would not be
a marriage in name only, but that is what it has been.”
“How can you say that? I have not been a false, smiling fool
petting you on the head and ignoring you. I have not played the doting husband
in public and then gone to the bed of a mistress. I made a mistake, and I am
sorry it has hurt you, but I will not let you dismiss what has happened between
us.”
“And what has happened? You’ve been bedding a woman you
thought was deceiving you.”
He grabbed her by the elbows and held her against him. “I
have been
making love
to a woman
whose heart I desire to win. I have spent my days thinking of her and my nights
giving her pleasure. I care for her more with each passing moment. It hurt that
she might have already given her heart away, even if she had dutifully forsaken
that man, but I was determined not to stop trying.” He kissed her, hoping to
melt her anger and make her see that his passion was not merely for her body.
But she struggled against him, pushing his chest and turning
her head. “Stop it! You’ve been manipulating me like this ever since the
wedding.” She turned away from him, tears truly flowing now. “I suppose it’s
quite a boost to your ego, how easily you can subdue me with your touch.”
The words flung at him cut deep. Hurt alone couldn’t make
her feel this way—he truly had made no progress in winning her heart. “I’ll
leave you now, Victoria.” He took two steps toward her, but he resisted the
urge to make her face him. “Once you’ve calmed down, I hope you’ll see that
you’re the one subduing me when we touch. You know very well what you do to me.
You simply lived in your sister’s shadow too long to believe you could inspire
a man to love and cherish you as much as I do.”
He turned and stalked from the room, slamming the door
behind him in anger. His reticence and careful planning now meant nothing.
Perhaps his declaration would mean nothing as well. He honestly didn’t trust
himself around her now. He knew he would either end up yelling and frightening
her or humiliating himself by begging. More than anything, he suspected that
exchanging heated words would only lead him to throwing her to the bed and
showing her the passion she inspired within him.
He ordered his carriage, not giving a damn what Victoria or
the servants would think.
****
clock on the mantle. It was nearly one in the morning. Bastian had returned
just before eleven. When would he come to bed? Part of her didn’t want to sleep
beside him tonight, but the rest of her wanted to make him see that her
feelings mattered just as much as his did.
He’d left both hurt and angry, so she could understand him
not wanting to come up. She lit a candle and got out of bed, putting her
dressing gown on. She decided to check his study first. Initially, she’d
thought she had guessed wrong, but then she saw his coat on his desk. She came
into the room and found him stretched out on the couch in front of his desk.
Just as she stopped to gaze down at him, his eyes snapped open.
She took a step back, and he sat bolt upright. “What’s
wrong,
“I … didn’t know where you were. I worried a little.”
“I’m sorry for that. I thought you might not want to see me
tonight.”
“There’s no reason for you to sleep here. We can talk about
it some more, just not now.” Actually seeing him trying to sleep on the couch
in his rumpled clothes made her feel guilty.
“Sleep was proving elusive without you beside me.” He rose
and came toward her, looking far too handsome and powerful. Taking the candle,
he looked down into her eyes. “I planned a very different scene for telling you
I had fallen in love with you, Victoria. It’s not something that should be
expressed in anger.”
So he had meant his parting words? But even if he
meant
them, they might not be
true
. Could he truly love someone he
thought deceitful, or was he only fooling himself because of their frequent
marital congress? Or perhaps he didn’t want to be unhappy simply because his
marriage had been arranged, which made him stubbornly insist he’d fallen in
love with her? His revelation earlier had convinced her that she didn’t know
him as well as she believed she did. She didn’t want to debate the issue
standing in the dark in the middle of the night though. “Bastian, I don’t know
what to say right now.”
“You don’t have to say anything. We can talk about it when
you’re ready.” He put his hand in the small of her back, guiding her to the
door. “I’ve kept you up long enough. I didn’t imagine you would sit up waiting
for me to come to bed.”
“I couldn’t sleep either.”
“I’m sorry.”
She only nodded, still unable to find the words to explain
to him what she was feeling.
When they reached their room, she sat on the bed as he
changed quickly, tossing his clothes on a chair. She removed her dressing gown
and moved under the covers when he went to his side and turned the sheets down.
He didn’t get into bed, and she looked up to find him staring at her. She held
his gaze, and he climbed into bed.
“Good night,
He leaned forward and cupped her face, kissing her temple.
“Good night.”
They both lay down, and she stared up at the ceiling. She
doubted either of them would fall asleep this way, but she stayed on her back.
She didn’t want to turn away from him, but she knew if she turned toward him
she’d end up in his arms. Did she mean it as a punishment? She didn’t think so,
but she’d slept in his arms every night since their wedding.
But she still didn’t understand his perspective. How could
he make love to her, say such sweet, tender words, when he believed she loved
another? More importantly, how could he have fallen in love with her if he had
believed her unfaithful, at least in her heart? She couldn’t decide if she
believed him or not. Closing her eyes, she tried to sleep as she listened to
the soft breathing of the man she didn’t understand.
****
Bastian slipped out of bed long before dawn, unable to
remain so close to
garden to think. She talked in her sleep regularly, and last night her murmurs
and sighs had nearly driven him mad.
While he couldn’t blame her for the way she felt, he didn’t
feel he had been in the wrong. He had been deceptive, yes, but he’d done so to
bide his time and preserve the peace in his new marriage. As hard as he
thought, he saw no other alternative.
Did she believe his declaration of love? Did she even want
his love now? The thought of her outright rejection pained him. He couldn’t
imagine living with her the rest of his life and never being allowed to express
his love. She didn’t seem like the type to “punish” a man, but he did believe
she would shy away from him if she no longer trusted him.
He considered that point as he walked back to the house.
He’d lost her trust because he hadn’t trusted her. Grudgingly, he admitted the
validity of that point. He would apologize for that specifically when she gave
him the chance. Thinking it best to keep his distance and give her time, he
went to his study to watch the sun as it rose. If he went up to the bedroom, he
suspected he’d crawl back into bed with her.
Having slept fitfully, he fell asleep in his desk chair and
didn’t wake up until almost eleven. Agatha informed him that
vicar’s wife. He nodded and went upstairs. However, he didn’t stay in their
bedroom for very long. He’d seduced her either on or against every piece of
furniture in the room. He changed into his riding clothes and went out to the
stable.