Claiming His Fire (12 page)

We stood in the world’s most awkward silence, eyes locked on one another, as I wished she would stay and she probably wondered how to bolt past me.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Her whisper nearly set my soul on fire. She had no clue how much I wanted her with me, no idea that I craved her the way I did. But I’d make sure that ended tonight.

I looked her right in the eyes and gave her a firm, “Yes.”

No games, no bullshit, no lies. Just one sincere answer.

“Then I’ll stay.” She shrugged, playing casual, as if she hadn’t just made me the happiest guy in the city. As if she hadn’t just welcomed me through that thick wall of hers and given me such a gift. “But only if you stay with me.”

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere tonight. I’ll be right out on the—”

“No,” she interrupted. “I mean, I’ll stay…if you stay in here with me. I can’t take your bed from you.”

My mouth went dry. “You want to share a bed?”

Scarlett huffed, looking away. “Well, if you don’t want to, then at least let me sleep—”

This time, it was my turn to interrupt. “I want to.”

Eyes back on mine, she shrugged, looking so damn nervous even as she tried to play it cool. “So do.”

Slow steps led me to her. “Are you sure?”

“Did I ask you?”

“Yeah,” I replied, grinning. “You did.”

“Then I’m sure.” She stood up and crossed the room, heading for my chest of drawers. “I’ll need a shirt to sleep in.”

I licked my bottom lip, imaging her wearing something of mine, how the thin fabric would carry my scent and mark her as my own to the other men in the club. “Sure. Yeah.”

She waited, a small smile on her lips, as I dug through a drawer for the right shirt. One that would be indelibly burned into my memory. I grabbed my favorite—soft cotton, black, well-worn—and handed it to her, our fingers touching for a brief moment. She smiled and hurried into the bathroom, presumably to change.

When she returned to the bedroom, she sat on the edge of the mattress, watching me and waiting. She looked so strong with her head up and eyes on mine, a warrior in my bed, in my shirt. There was no use doubting her sincerity even though I knew this was a big step for her. Hell, it was a giant leap for both of us, and we were just going to sleep.

I paused, frozen in place for a single moment, and then walked across the room. Finally heading toward her with cautious steps…always following her lead. Giving her the time to change her mind, not that I wanted her to. Not in the least.

The anticipation licked at me, crawled up my spine, and made me shiver. Scarlett watched me approach, her eyes intense, never faltering in her gaze. Every step made my heart beat a little faster, made my groin tighten a little more. The woman was going to kill me. From giving me the cold shoulder to sharing a bed with me, she’d knocked down every wall she had and opened herself up to me in a way I hadn’t expected tonight. I had no idea how I’d get any rest with her right there next to me, but I was damn sure willing to try. Willing to stay up all night watching her sleep as well. Whatever it took to be with her.

When I reached the bed, Scarlett scooted across the mattress, holding up the covers for me. Inviting me in. My hands shook as I grabbed them, but I didn’t pause. I slipped underneath, staying right on the edge of the mattress. Too afraid to move closer, and definitely too afraid to touch her.

“Shadow?” Her soft whisper stopped my whirlwind thoughts and gave me a point to focus on.

“Yeah?”

“Why’d that guy call you a mutt?”

I sighed as the rage I’d felt when Cahill spit that insult at me came rushing back. “Because he’s kind of a jackass.”

She shifted closer, her arm curled under the pillow her head rested on. “But why mutt? Is that a big insult in the shifter world?”

“Yeah, Scarlett,” I said, my voice soft in the blackness. “It is.”

“So what makes you a mutt?”

“I’m not…” I sighed again, my hand slipping down to the striations across my groin out of habit, hating to admit my secrets but refusing to lie to her. “I’m not purely a wolf shifter. My father was a wolf, but my mother isn’t. She’s—” another pause, another deep breath before I voiced the secret I’d held on to the longest “—a tiger shifter. A Borzohn or born wolf like Cahill looks down on Anbizens, or men who’ve been turned to shifters from human. They absolutely rage against shifters with mixed heritage like me. Cahill called me a mutt because he must have found out my background, and it was his way of trying to overpower me.”

“Is it a secret?”

“Yeah, a big one. Rebel knows, and our Feral Breed president Blaze, but that’s it. If the others found out, they might…” I trailed off, the thought making my stomach go sour. My brothers, the men I trusted with my life, may not feel the same way about me if they knew. And wasn’t that just a kick in the balls.

“They might shun you,” she whispered, sounding so scared and small, I knew the word meant something to her. Something deep and painful.

“Yeah. They might kick me out.”

“I won’t tell.”

I smiled, my heart contracting at her innocent declaration. “I never thought you would.”

She lay quiet and still for a few long moments, watching me. I stared right back, my wolf happy in my head, my tiger almost smiling. Our mate was in our den with us, staying through the night. We couldn’t ask for anything more than that. Not yet.

“Shadow?”

“Yeah, Scarlett?”

“I’m glad you came back.”

I exhaled forcefully, relaxing into my mattress and shifting just a little closer to her. “And I’m glad you stayed. Thank you for that.”

She inched toward me, watching me. I didn’t think she could actually see me in the dark, but my animal senses gave me terrific night vision. She stared at me as she approached, wary but confident at the same time. Her movements slow but steady. And when she touched me, when she finally brushed her hand against my arm, I gave in to my desires and wrapped myself around her. The world stood still while she snuggled into my chest and tangled her legs with mine, sighing when I encircled her in my arms and held her tight.

“This doesn’t mean anything,” she said, trying to sound all harsh and tough as she cuddled into me as if I was some kind of mostly human teddy bear.

“Nope,” I said, my voice soft, my lips brushing the top of her head. “Doesn’t mean a thing.”

“We’re friends. Friends cuddle.”

I smirked. “Sure, I cuddle with Rebel all the time.”

Silence…and then, “Really?”

“No, never.”

“Too bad,” she said with a sigh. “That’d be hot.”

I chuckled and squeezed her tighter, wanting more of her, but grateful at the same time for having even a single moment to hold her. “Goodnight, Scarlett.”

“Goodnight, Shadow.”

And with my arms around my mate, it would be.

The inferno consumed me, burned me from the inside out, the heat licking at my skin as I erupted in flames. Orange and blue, gold and red, they danced along my skin until every inch of me had been turned to ash. Until there was nothing left but soot.

Until the world went black.

I sat straight up in bed, my breath coming in gasps and my heart pounding. In that place between asleep and awake, I panicked, afraid of what I’d done…of who I’d been with. The room wasn’t my own, the cotton sheets not what I would have chosen for my bed, and I was wearing only a T-shirt that was too big to be mine. For a brief moment, I worried that I’d gotten drunk and made a decision I’d regret. Something that would destroy the fragile connection I’d created with a particularly handsome man who had manners and a cutting sense of humor. One I’d only just let myself start to get to know.

But then the bed moved, and I ended up staring down at the man in question. Shadow rolled toward me, his face relaxed in sleep, curling his body around my hips and wrapping an arm over my thighs. Searching me out and calming me without conscious effort.

Asleep and unaware, he looked far too tempting for me to resist. Shaking, fingers curled in and almost afraid to make contact, I brought my hand to his face. I ran my knuckles over his eyebrows, along his chin, down his neck, relishing the tingles and sparks of recognition flying up my arm. This was him…my soul mate. The man the Fates decreed as perfect for me. A terrifying thought, but one that scared me less this morning than yesterday, and even less than the day before. Either the idea was growing on me or Shadow himself was.

I stared at the place where my skin met his, imagining that the bright red of the thread connecting us was visible in the early morning gray of his bedroom. It would glow, pulse, refuse to be ignored. Much like the man himself, who had captured my attention by doing nothing but being himself.

Truth be told, I was getting tired of trying to fight my connection to him.

Still, as nice as Shadow was, and as much as parts of me wanted him in my life, I had no idea if he felt the same. He could be attracted to me simply because his inner wolf told him to, or because his tiger side thought I’d birth strong kittens. Tigers didn’t form packs like wolves did, a lesson remembered from high school biology. Would he even be able to bond with me the way the Fates expected? Would the man feel conflicted over the different needs of the animals within? Zuri and Phoenix seemed to really be in love, but that could be a fluke. Or Phoenix’s wolf could be running the show in his mind. If I was going to give up control to be in a relationship with someone, I at least wanted to know they—the man, the wolf, and the tiger—were with me because they chose to be and they were committed to me. I didn’t want him by my side because some ancient magick thought he should be, and I didn’t want to be left behind because one part of him didn’t feel the same attachment as another.

By the Goddess, my bond to Shadow was like trying to start a relationship with three people at once.

“You’re thinking too much,” Shadow murmured, his face buried in the pillows. He reached out and pulled me down, manhandling me until I was cuddled up against him once more. Facing him. Unable to escape. “What’s got you all tied up inside?”

I huffed a laugh, thinking of the red thread between us. “You have no idea how close to the truth you are right now.”

He lifted his head enough to peek at me with one eye. “Explain.”

“Not now.” I snuggled closer, breathing in the warm scent of him. “Right now, I want to lay here until I have to get out of your bed.”

He ran a hand over my hip, making my body heat. “You don’t have to get out of my bed at all if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, I do.” I tangled my legs with his, greedy for his touch, taking comfort from the way he surrounded me. “I’ve got a busy day today.”

He hummed his understanding before tightening his hold on me. “Then give me a few thinking-free minutes. I can’t rest when your thoughts are screaming.”

“Okay,” I laughed. “I’ll give you ten minutes think-free, and then I have to get up.”

“Deal.” He sighed and held me close. What should have felt awkward or uncomfortable—the whole being in bed with a man I barely knew—was quite calming and comfortable. Right in a way that should have felt wrong. I lay in his arms, watching him, contemplating fate and life and control until his eyebrow wiggled.

“You’re staring.”

I bit my lip, fighting to hold back a giggle. “I’m not.”

“You’re totally staring.” He poked me in the side, making me jump.

“Did you just try to tickle me? What are you, like ten?”

He opened his eyes to glare at me while smiling. “You’re staring, and it’s creepy.”

“I’m not creepy.”

“You’re a little creepy.”

I leaned up, resting my arm on his chest so I could look down at him. “You invited me to stay the night, to sleep in your bed. What does that make you?”

He shrugged, eyes closing, hand rubbing up and down my back. “Someone who digs your creepiness.”

“You barely know my creepiness.”

“You’re my mate. I know enough.”

I froze. Shadow opened his eyes and rearranged himself so we were lying side by side, staring at each other. Inches apart.

“Stop it,” I whispered, my throat tightening as his words repeated over and over in my head.

“Why?”

“You don’t know me.”

“So let me get to know you.”

“You wouldn’t want to if it weren’t for…” I couldn’t say it, suddenly too tied up in knots to get my words out or be willing to admit my fears.

“You think I wouldn’t be interested if you weren’t my mate?”

I nodded, unable to speak.

“Not true.” His words were strong, true, but not enough. Words would never be enough.

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

I sat up, pulling the blanket with me. “How can you be sure?”

“I just am.”

“That’s not really helpful.”

He sighed, yanking me toward him and rolling me on top of him. “You are ridiculous, beautiful, funny, sarcastic, confident, strong, nurturing, and too fucking smart for your own good. And I like all of that, plus you’re practically sex on legs. I like that, too. If you weren’t my mate, I would have tried to get you into my bed. Period.”

I pushed off his chest, my eyebrows furrowing. “Just your bed?”

His eyes met mine, suddenly wary. My stomach sank as a sense of doom flooded through me. Whatever he was about to say, I wouldn’t like it. I could already feel the tension growing between us, pushing us apart.

“I don’t… I’ve never really been in a relationship.” He lifted his head, running his nose along my neck, clinging to me as if he knew I was about to run. “Tigers tend to be more solitary, but wolf shifters mate for life. I didn’t ever want to risk committing to someone when I knew fate could change the game in the blink of an eye if my wolf side dominated my destiny. All my dating has been casual.”

Change the game…casual…mate for life.

And there it was, my fear laid out in so few words.

Shadow had never dated, never committed to anyone, because of the Fates’ pull on his animal sides. Three sides to one man, all battling for control at any given moment. How many women should the man have fallen in love with? How many times over however long he’d been alive had he denied his tiger side a natural attraction to someone because maybe, just maybe, the Fates would step in and plop someone into the wolf’s path that they believed was right for him? Not right for the man or the tiger, but perfect for the wolf. Just the wolf.