Claiming the Cowboy's Heart (18 page)

A thrill of both victory and fear coursed through her veins. “You’re sure?”

He tipped his head and studied her, his eyes soft, his expression gentle. “Don’t you think you are?”

She considered the question. His instruction had been thorough. She knew each step. It was time to put aside her fear and move on boldly. “I’m ready.”

“Then let’s see you do it.” He stood at her side, observing as she loaded and aimed. “Good.”

He didn’t move to her back to steady her hand but remained close by. He really meant to leave her to do this herself. She considered letting her hand waver so he would put his arm around her and hold her hand. But no. She would learn how to shoot. She would do this.

She squinted down the sights and squeezed the trigger. A shudder raced through her at the explosion but she had not flinched.

Seth squinted toward the target. He said nothing.

“I missed, didn’t I?”

“Try again.”

She shot again. Missed again. But on the third try she hit the target. Only the outer edge but she cheered.

He gave a nod of approval. “You’re doing just fine. From now on you have to practice keeping your eye on the target. As you get better, move the target farther away.”

He talked like this was the end. She didn’t want it to be. Yes, she wanted to be strong and independent. But something deep inside her cried out for more. More than she’d had as a child protected by her father. More than she’d had as Oliver’s fiancee, never sure of his devotion. More than she had here as a woman allowed to do things she’d never have been allowed in England.

The trouble was, she simply didn’t understand what the
more
was.

She put the gun on a nearby stump and sat on the adjacent log. If only she could find the words to explain what she felt. But how could she when she didn’t know them herself?

“You look disappointed.” He stood a few feet away, his arms crossed, one foot tipped over the other.

She rolled her head back and forth. “Not disappointed, exactly.” He waited for an explanation. “I don’t know. It’s like now I can shoot. So what? How is that going to change anything? It won’t make me feel less like I failed to help Oliver when I could have. It won’t…” Her voice grew hoarse. “It won’t make me any more sure that he loved me. Or that I loved him.” The words had come uncensored to her mouth and she clamped a hand to her lips. “I didn’t mean to say that.” Her eyes felt way too wide.

He sat beside her. “Jayne, you can’t change the past. But didn’t you say you can use it?”

She tried to recall when she had said that. “I said life is meant to press us closer to God. Is that what you’re referring to?”

He nodded.

“Have I let my experience with Oliver press me closer?” She thought for a moment. “It’s certainly changed me. Made me want to be strong. Able to take care of myself and protect others. It’s also made me see that what Oliver and I had wasn’t what I want now. It was enough back then but now I want to be more than a convenient addition to a man’s life. I want to be more than a worthy match.” She grew firmer, more impassioned as she spoke. “I want—” She clamped back the words.
I want a love that is not only ready to die for me, but to live life to the fullest with me.

Seth waited and she scrambled for words to finish her sentence.

“I want to be fearless.” It was but a fraction of the truth.

He chuckled. “Jayne, I think you are closer to that every day.”

His words had the power to ease her worries and she smiled. “I guess I am. Thanks to your help.”

He choked back his amusement. “I don’t think I can take credit for doing anything but walking beside you.”

Walking beside her. What a wonderful thought. That’s exactly what she wanted. A man who would walk beside her. Honor her strengths and gently help her through her weaknesses. Why had she picked a man like Oliver who offered neither? And now she’d met one who offered both but for a limited time. She would ask him when he meant to leave but didn’t want him to think she thought it was time.

“I told Linette I would get back to help pick beans.” They retraced their steps toward the ranch. “I never realized how much work was involved in growing and gathering food and preparing enough for the winter.”

The sun was warm overhead. A gopher stood on tiptoe beside a mound of dirt and whistled before it ducked down his hole in the ground.

Jayne chuckled. “Cheeky little thing.” She breathed deeply. “Do I smell roses?”

“Over there.” He pointed toward a bush with late-season wild roses.

She’d seen them before and loved them. Single petaled in varying colors of pink from palest skin tones to fullest red. She bent over the bush and inhaled the scent. She would pick one and take it home but had learned how fragile the blossoms were. The petals would fall even as she picked the flower.

A flash of blue in the grass caught her eye and she scurried to the spot. Little bluebells hung their clustered heads. Such rare beauty.

Seth waited nearby as she enjoyed the flowers.

She sat back on her heels and let her gaze sweep the blanket of blossoms. Her eyes were drawn to something on the horizon.

A man sat on a horse watching them.

She rose slowly and backed to Seth’s side. An English gentleman. Nothing unusual about that. He would have fit in back in London but looked out of place here with his bowler hat and buttoned-up suit. Would she ever see a man thusly dressed and not be reminded of Oliver’s killer?

As the man shifted in his saddle, Jayne caught a glimpse of his face. She gasped and grabbed Seth’s arm, dragging him behind a bunch of poplar trees.

Seth stared at her. “What is wrong?” He ducked his head to look into her eyes. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Jayne struggled to suck in air. “It’s him.” Her voice shook.

Seth looked about. “Who is him?”

“That man.” Jayne pointed a trembling finger. “It’s him. He’s the man who shot Oliver.”

Seth moved to where he could see where she pointed. “Are you sure?”

“I…” She tried to collect her thoughts, sort out the flashes of memory from that day. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s only because he’s dressed like that man was.”

“He’s leaving. I wonder what he wanted.”

Jayne bent over her knees, forcing air in and out of her wooden lungs. “What if it’s really him?” She straightened and stared to where the man had been. “What if he followed me? What if he wants to get rid of the only witness?” She shuddered.

Seth pulled her into his arms and patted her back. “I regret ever suggesting such a thing.”

Bile burned the back of her throat, but she focused her entire being on the comforting movement of his hand on her back, and the murmur of his words, though she didn’t listen to their meaning. Slowly, her nerves calmed and she relaxed into his embrace, feeling safe and sheltered.

It was a luxury she couldn’t allow herself. She must depend on no one to keep her safe. No one but herself and her skills. Thankfully she could now use a gun if she must, though she might not be any threat unless she could actually hit a target.

But she enjoyed several more moments of resting in his care then, exerting every bit of inner strength she possessed, she straightened and escaped his arms.

“If that’s him, he is here for only one reason.” She squared her shoulders. She would not cower in the corner if he threatened anyone again.

Chapter Twelve

S
eth let her step away, although everything in him wanted to keep her right there in his arms where he could protect her. If he hadn’t been so busy watching her enjoy the flowers, he would have seen the man before he turned away. He would have memorized his face and then gone hunting him.

He couldn’t leave Jayne now. Not even for Pa’s sake. He hadn’t been able to protect Sarah and Frank from the cold waters, but he would keep Jayne safe at any cost.

“Let’s get back to the ranch.” He wouldn’t frighten her any more than she already was. Back at the ranch there was hope of keeping her under constant surveillance. He pulled her to his side, kept her tucked safely under his arm as they rushed back to the house.

Jayne hurried into the kitchen and collapsed on a chair.

Linette rushed to her side. “What’s wrong?”

She shuddered then said in a deadly calm voice, “I think I saw Oliver’s murderer.” She explained about seeing the rider.

Linette lifted her gaze to Seth. He saw the same horrible knowledge in her eyes. The Englishman would be in the same vicinity as Jayne for only one reason.

“Where’s Eddie?” he asked.

She nodded, relief filling her eyes as if assured her husband would know what to do. “He went to the supply sheds to check on what we need.”

“I’ll get him.”

Linette followed him to the far door.

“Keep Jayne here,” he said.

“I will.”

Seth found Eddie at the first supply shed. Roper was with him as they discussed a trip to town for supplies.

He told them both about the Englishman.

Eddie’s jaw tightened. “Could she have been mistaken?”

“I don’t know. Best you talk to her.”

Eddie handed his list to Roper. “Tell the boys to keep a lookout for a fancy-dressed Englishman and to bring him in if they see him.”

Back at the house they went to the kitchen where Jayne held a cup of tea. Linette sat across from her with a cup held tightly between her palms.

Eddie sat beside Linette. “Tell me everything.”

Seth sat at Jayne’s side, resisting a protective urge to put his arm about her.

Jayne nodded. “There was something about him. And as soon as he turned to give me a view of his face, I knew it was him.”

“You’re certain.”

“I suppose I could be mistaken but I don’t think so. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on that man’s face when he demanded Oliver turn out his pockets.”

It was more than enough for Seth. If Eddie didn’t do something, he would. He’d find the tracks on the hillside and follow the man to the ends of the earth.

“I’ll send for the Mountie,” Eddie said. “Until he gets here I think you better stay in the house.”

“I have to take care of Thor.”

At the blank look on Eddie’s face, Seth added, “The fawn.”

“Fine, but stay close to the buildings.”

Seth figured it indicated how frightened she was that she didn’t object to her brother ordering her about.

Mercy and Sybil clattered into the room.

“We heard. Did you really see the murderer?”

Eddie left the house as the pair hovered about Jayne. Mercy pushed Seth aside to sit next to her. He glanced after Eddie then decided he would stay right there until they knew for sure if the man was a threat or not. Until the man could be confronted face-to-face.

Jayne explained yet again what she’d seen while Mercy and Sybil made appropriate comforting sounds.

Linette offered them all tea and cookies.

Seth took both gratefully, but he couldn’t remain at the table. He carried his cup and cookie to the window and looked out. A rider kicked up dust as he rode off the ranch. Probably the man Eddie sent to find the Mountie.

He stayed at the window long after the dust disappeared.

Grady ran past his line of vision and crashed through the door. Billy came in on his heels.

“You got a baby deer?” His voice was filled with awe. “Billy says we can’t see it without permission. Can we see it now? Please?”

Seth turned back to Jayne, saw the stress creasing her forehead. It might do her good to leave the house and forget the Englishman but forgetting the danger lurking out there would be foolish.

She sent him a desperate look.

He made up his mind and left his post and headed to her side feeling Mercy’s measuring watchfulness. “I’ll take the boys to see the fawn, if you like.”

She bolted to her feet. “I’ll go with you. I need to check on him, anyway.”

“We’ll come, too,” Sybil said and she and Mercy fell in at their heels and the lot of them went down the hill.

The boys were soon joined by Daisy, carrying Pansy.

They went round the barn to the small pen.

“His name is Thor,” Jayne said as they crowded up to the fence. The fawn curled up on the ground, Smokey between his paws.

Although Thor’s eyes grew wide, he didn’t move.

Jayne chuckled. “It looks like he doesn’t want to disturb Smokey.”

“Thor!” Sybil laughed softly. “Strange name for a little fawn.”

Seth checked their surroundings, seeing nothing, then he turned to the ladies. “I said he didn’t look much like a Thor but she didn’t believe me.”

“What does it mean?” Daisy asked.

“In mythology, Thor is a god of thunder and lightning. He carries a big hammer and smashes things. His job is to protect humans.” Sybil gave the details.

Jayne grinned at her friends. “In this case, the humans are protecting Thor.” Her gaze captured Seth’s. He returned it with silent promise that he would protect her as well as Thor.

“Can we touch him?” Grady asked.

“Seth, what do you think?” Jayne asked. “Is it too soon?” She turned to explain to the children. “He’s a wild creature and people frighten him.”

“Look,” Seth whispered and they all turned toward little Pansy. She had edged around the fence to where she could reach her fingers through the wire. Thor licked her fingers then bounced to his feet and pressed his nose close to hers.

“There’s one human he isn’t afraid of.” Seth spoke so softly he wondered if the others heard but they all stayed where they were and watched the two little ones acknowledge each other.

Daisy edged closer to make sure her little sister wasn’t in any danger.

Thor skipped away then turned and tiptoed back to Pansy. She giggled as his nose touched her fingers.

“Can we touch him, too?” Grady asked.

“Why don’t you let him make friends with you?” Seth said. “Stand at the fence and wait for him to come to you.”

Mercy and Sybil sat with their backs to the barn to watch. After a moment, Jayne joined them.

Seth couldn’t relax, not that he worried about the fawn. His concern was Jayne and the threat of a fancy-dressed Englishman. He guided the children but all the while he watched the trails leading to the ranch and kept a lookout at the trees nearby where a man could hide in the shadows.