Claiming the Cowboy's Heart (23 page)

He moved aside, putting more distance between them.

Not one word of hope. No suggestion that he meant to come back. Or that he wanted her to wait for him. His silence said it all. This was goodbye. He didn’t intend to return. “You brought me here to tell me this? Why? You could have told me at the ranch.” Where she would have the option to run to her room and bury her head in her pillow.

“No, I brought you here because I promised you and your friends I would take you to a mountain lake. I wanted to do it before I left.”

If she’d had a sliver of hope left that he didn’t mean this to be forever, he killed it. He did not intend to return.

“Jayne.” He reached for her but she moved away. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought you understood that I wasn’t staying.”

“Of course I did.” She forced false cheer into her voice. “You stayed longer than you intended simply to teach me to shoot. I’m grateful. I pray you will find your father well.” She lifted her skirts and hurried to the path Sybil and Mercy had taken.

How could she have misjudged him so badly? Did he feel nothing when they kissed?

She met up with Sybil and Mercy returning down the path.

Sybil took one look at her and asked, “What’s happened? You look like you’ve had terrible news.”

She tried to smile but tears were too close to the surface. “Seth is leaving tomorrow.”

“He’ll be back.” Mercy was quite certain.

“No. He’s going to take care of his invalid father. I understand his concern and his sense of responsibility.” She hoped her tone conveyed that it mattered not to her that he didn’t intend to return.

But the way both her friends hugged her, she knew they weren’t convinced. Her leaden feet followed them down the hill.

They jumped into the back of the wagon. She climbed up and sat between them, keeping her back to Seth.

If she looked at him she might forget her pride and demand to know how he could kiss her like that and walk away as if it hadn’t happened. She’d gladly fall on her knees and beg him to stay if she thought it would change his mind.

But nothing would shift Seth from his guilt-driven responsibility.

Chapter Sixteen

T
he next morning, she prepared a bottle for Thor.

Seth stepped into the kitchen behind her. “I’ll help.”

She kept her back to him. “I told Grady he could feed Thor. It doesn’t require both of us to help him.” From now on she’d do it without his help. Might as well start now.

He thankfully accepted her excuse and let her go.

Despite the searing pain in her heart, she laughed at the way Thor bounced with excitement at seeing Grady. It took the fawn a moment to realize his playmate meant to feed him.

Grady laughed. “I think Thor is better than having a dog. Don’t you?”

“He’s sweet.” She’d never see the fawn without being reminded of many precious hours spent in Seth’s company. Her hand pressed to her chest as she tried in vain to stop the pain that threatened to burst her heart.

“Can I take him outside to play with?” Grady asked.

“Maybe after breakfast. Just be sure you have permission from an adult who is prepared to supervise. We wouldn’t want Thor getting lost. In the meantime, he’ll be safe in his pen.” The one Seth had built. Everywhere she turned there were reminders of how impossible it was to push him from her thoughts.

Even without reminders she’d never forget him.

Thanks to Mercy and Sybil’s understanding, Jayne wasn’t forced to sit at Seth’s side throughout breakfast.

“I’ll be leaving today,” Seth announced.

“You’re welcome to stay,” Eddie said. “I could use another man with the roundup approaching.”

“I have to see to my pa.”

Sybil sat at Jayne’s side and reached out to squeeze her hand under cover of the table.

Jayne felt Linette’s concerned look but studied her empty plate.

“Your hospitality has been most generous. Thank you,” Seth continued, his words flat. Was he regretting his decision?

She stole a glance at him under protection of her eyelashes. He didn’t look in her direction, but the set of his jaw allowed her no hope for a change of mind.

“I’ll be on my way directly.” He pushed to his feet. “It’s been a pleasure. Again, thank you.”

Jayne merely stared at a spot in the middle of the table as everyone offered goodbye wishes. When Eddie and Linette accompanied him to the door, she fled to her bedroom. She would not watch him ride away. She would not wave, nor call an agonized goodbye for fear it would turn into a plea to stay. Or at least a promise to return.

Instead, she sat on the edge of her bed, her hands pressed between her knees and whispered, “Goodbye, Seth. May God bless you.” Her heart bled empty.

She heard chairs scuff across the floor in the kitchen, dishes rattle in the dishpan, cupboards open and close. Muted voices informed her the other women worked in the kitchen. The outer door slammed. Was it Eddie leaving? Or was it Grady?

She sighed. She couldn’t hide here forever but she didn’t move, either, not wanting to face the pitying looks from her friends. Nor have her situation discussed.

Her brocade bag, the one she carried her gun in, sat on a shelf in the wardrobe. She took it and left the room.

“I’m going to practice shooting,” she announced. “Unless you need my help with anything.” She addressed Linette.

“No, there are lots of people around to help with anything that needs doing.”

“I’ll be back later.” She slipped out the back door before either Mercy or Sybil could voice an opinion. With heavy feet and a lifeless heart she made her way to the spot where the target waited.

She plopped her bag on the fallen log. It landed with a satisfying thud and she sat down beside it and stared at the ground in front of her feet.

She’d wanted to be independent. She’d achieved that.

Strong. Self-sufficient. And alone. Even Smokey didn’t follow her, preferring to stay and play with Thor.

Not that she was entirely alone. She had Mercy and Sybil, and Eddie and Linette and a dozen others around the ranch.

But with Seth gone, her heart echoed with emptiness.

A rustle in the underbrush jerked her attention to the side. Had Smokey decided to join her after all?

She squinted into the shadows but Smokey did not appear.

A dull sound came from behind her, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Someone was there. She edged her hand toward the bag and her gun.

“I’ll take that out of harm’s way.”

At the gruff words, Jayne squealed and sprang to her feet. She stared at a man who was supposedly in jail. “You.”

The beady blue eyes narrowed and Jayne realized too late that she shouldn’t have let him know she recognized him.

“So you do remember me.” He smirked.

“The Mountie said you were in jail.”

He laughed, a mocking sound. “I was never in jail.”

“But—” She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking who was in jail.

Seems he didn’t need her to ask. “I fooled that policeman good, didn’t I? All I had to do was find someone who looked a lot like me, persuade him he wanted my clothes. Sell him my ring and leave a few things in the pocket of my coat.” He let loose another burst of ugly laughter.

She edged backward toward the trees as he talked, but he came forward, stepping over the log. “You aren’t going anywhere, little lady.”

She turned and ran, made two steps toward safety before his hard grasp on her arm jerked her around to face him.

“You know what I want.”

She wasn’t going to let him kill her and fought to escape his grip.

He grabbed both her arms and shook her hard. “My key. Where is my key?”

“I have no idea what you mean.” He shook her so hard her teeth rattled.

“That’s what Oliver said but I saw you with it before I had to run from the coppers. Didn’t see it when I’d seen you later.”

“You are mistaken.” He’d followed her and spied on her? She felt dirty all over.

He grabbed at her throat.

She squeaked. Did he mean to choke her?

He yanked at the neck of her dress and pulled so hard she fell forward. Her dress gave way and she clutched at her throat to protect her modesty.

He pushed her head back to study her throat. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she gasped.

His fingers bit into the flesh of her upper arm. “You can stop playing Miss Innocent,” he snarled.

“But I honestly don’t know.” The anger in his eyes made her legs weak. She fought dizziness and tried to squirm free. As his fingers dug deeper she bit back a cry.

“I know you brought it with you. You wouldn’t be fool enough to leave it behind.”

She sucked in air and released it in a scream that she hoped carried to the ranch.
Please, God, let someone hear me
.

He slapped her face. “Stop that.”

She took a deep breath.

Seeing she meant to scream again, he swung her about, pressing her back to his chest, and clamped his sticky palm over her mouth. His clothing smelled of old sweat. Her eyes watered and she clawed to escape his hold.

“You aren’t going anywhere until you tell me where that key is.”

She fought to free herself.

“Stop it or I’ll have to get tough.”

She would fight as long as she had strength. With a flash of insight, she realized fighting might be the wrong tactic and she made her body go limp.

“Now that’s more like it.” He bent to scoop her into his arms.

As soon as his hand released her, she flew from his arms. Her skirt caught her legs. She yanked it out of the way and continued her headlong flight.

The man uttered a curse.

His feet pounded after her.

Please, God. Help me.

He caught her, swept her off her feet. “You little witch. Get it through your silly head. You are not going anywhere until you tell me where that key is.” He dragged her at his side like a sack of rotten potatoes.

She skidded to keep her feet under her.

He made it sound like he would release her if she could produce a key but she very much doubted he would.

They reached a dark, narrow break in the trees where a cold campfire suggested he had spent time here. A shadow moved. Had someone come to rescue her? But it was only his horse tethered out of sight.

He pushed her back against a tree, forced her to sit, and tied her hands and legs. His touch, far too intimate, made her skin crawl.

The look she gave him should have blistered his skin but he returned it with a leering grin.

“So what will it take to convince you to tell me where the key is?” He trailed his smelly finger along her cheek.

She shuddered. She only had to delay him. Eddie would discover her absence when she didn’t show up for dinner.

Or would they think she wanted to be left alone?

Seth, why did you have to leave when I really and truly need you?

* * *

Seth had stayed up late last night making a belt for Buster. He’d given it to Eddie this morning. “A thank-you for Buster for taking care of my horse.”

Eddie had examined it. “Nice tooling. You do this?”

“My pa taught me.” Pa had given both his sons leatherworking tools on their twelfth birthday. Frank had never cared much for the work but Seth had become quite good at decorating leather pieces. Though Pa had never said so. Only those who bought the items had told him.

Seth had stayed long enough to eat a hearty breakfast, knowing it would be the last decent meal he got until he reached Corncrib. At the main road, he’d turned south, leaned over his horse and raced down the road.

He’d delayed his return far too long.

Pa would have every right to think he neglected him.

Only the truth was, he never had and never would. For a few days he’d taken care of a different responsibility. That was all. Pa had no reason to worry. Or condemn.

Why, even when Pa made unreasonable demands on Seth, he hadn’t balked. Like the time he’d insisted they needed one more load of wood even though it was almost dark, cold and threatening to snow.

“It will snow before morning,” Pa had warned. “Then it will be even harder to get the wood out. You want Ma and me to freeze to death this winter?”

Of course Seth didn’t so he’d gone out in the deepening darkness, stumbling over roots he couldn’t see. The horse tangled the rigging on a stump and it had taken Seth several hours to get everything sorted out and the wagon loaded. Snow began to fall long before he finished. By the time he got home he was soaked to the skin and so cold the marrow of his bones ached. But he still had to unload the wood, stack it in the shed and take care of the horse.

All Pa had said was, “You got it done? Good.”

Not for the first time, he’d wondered if Pa wished Seth had died instead of Frank.

Seth would have gladly given his life for Frank’s but he’d been unable to stop Frank from rushing onto the thin ice.

Pa had said so many hurtful things. Expected the impossible from Seth. Seth understood it was because Pa held him responsible for Frank’s death.

So many instances came to mind as Seth rode away from Eden Valley Ranch and Jayne.

As he thought of never seeing Jayne again a groan ripped from the bottom of his insides, like a flash flood tearing up worries and concerns and memories by their roots, swirling them into a quagmire. He hunkered over the saddle horn as if he could block the pain.

Jayne had shared her worries and fears as if she thought he could help her keep them at bay. She had given him sweet kisses.

His fists tightened into knots at how empty his arms were. How barren his future. He longed to hold her next to his heart forever.

But he wasn’t worthy.

He reined up and stared at the rocks next to the path.

Why did he think that? It wasn’t as if he couldn’t provide for a woman. He could work for Eddie. Or start his own ranch.

It wasn’t as if he couldn’t protect her. He’d shown that. Although, he hadn’t really, had he? The Mountie had captured the man without incident. All Seth did was hang around for the sake of his conscience.