Clementine Rose and the Pet Day Disaster 2 (9 page)

Clementine curtsied just as Miss Critchley had taught the girls, and then replied, ‘Her name is Lavender, Your Majesty, and she’s a teacup.’ Clementine giggled. ‘I mean a teacup pig.’

‘And so she is.’ Queen Georgiana reached out to give Lavender a scratch behind the ear. ‘And a very pretty little piggy you are too.’ Lavender sniffed the Queen’s hand before giving her finger a nibble. ‘Oh, you cheeky thing,’ she gasped and laughed loudly.

Her lady-in-waiting screwed up her nose and whispered under her breath, ‘How ghastly. A pig!’

Queen Georgiana’s ears pricked up. So did Clementine’s.

‘For heaven’s sake, Mrs Marmalade, this piggy is so clean you could eat your dinner off her belly.’

Clementine smothered a giggle as she imagined Lavender acting as the Queen’s dinner plate.

Mrs Marmalade sniffed and muttered a half-hearted apology to Clementine.

The Queen continued along the line. Sophie was standing beside Clementine and holding her cat Mintie, who was wriggling like a garden worm. Sophie curtsied too and almost lost her grip on the ball of white fur.

‘If I were you, dear, I’d pop her into that cage there,’ the Queen suggested, ‘before she gets away. I don’t like the look of that dog over there one little bit.’ She nodded towards a giant mastiff who was drooling all over the floor. Standing beside the dog was its owner, Angus, who had a very loose grip on the lead. ‘I don’t know if that boy would be strong enough to hold the pup if something took his fancy.’

Sophie nodded. She wanted to say something but the words just wouldn’t come out.

The Queen looked at the silent girl closely. ‘Are you all right?’

Sophie nodded again.

‘I don’t bite, you know,’ the Queen grinned.

Sophie nodded for a third time and was very cross with herself.

There were only a couple more pets at the end of the line, including Esteban, Fergus’s python. When Queen Georgiana reached him she stooped lower to make eye contact. Mrs Marmalade stepped away from the creature with a look of horror.

‘Good grief, Marmalade, it’s a python not a viper. Cute as a button too.’ The Queen touched the serpent on the end of his scaly nose.

Fergus grinned broadly.

Mrs Marmalade shuddered.

The Queen concluded her inspections and moved over to confer with Miss Critchley, who was holding a blue ribbon.

There was a lot of nodding and smiling between them before Queen Georgiana took the microphone. ‘It gives me great pleasure to announce that the Cutest Pet at today’s Ellery Prep Pet Day is . . .’ There was a long pause as the Queen cast her eye over the entrants one last time.

The audience members all held their breath.

‘I must tell you that it was a terribly difficult decision and if I had my way everyone would take home a ribbon,’ said Queen Georgiana, smiling at the children.

The audience exhaled, as if a room full of balloons had been let down at once.

‘But, alas, there can only be one winner.’ The group breathed in again. ‘And today that title belongs to . . . Mintie the lovely little white cat.’

Everyone clapped. Sophie couldn’t believe it. Her jaw dropped and her mouth gaped open like a stunned cod. She had been quite sure that Lavender would win.

‘Sophie, close your mouth,’ her father Pierre called from the audience, ‘or you will catch some flies.’ Everyone laughed.

Clementine smiled at her friend, and then leaned down and gave Lavender a pat. ‘There’s still the Best Dressed,’ she whispered. ‘And you’ll look beautiful in your ballet slippers.’

Queen Georgiana strode over to Sophie, who was busy pulling Mintie out of her cage. The Queen pinned the oversized rosette onto the cat’s collar. Mintie immediately started tearing at it with her teeth. Flashes were going off as Pierre snapped pictures of his daughter and her prize-winning cat standing next to the Queen.

‘Would you like to say anything, dear?’ Queen Georgiana held out the microphone to the astounded child.

Sophie could only manage to shake her head.

‘I see the cat’s still got your tongue.’ Queen Georgiana winked at Sophie.

Mintie meowed loudly. It sounded rather like ‘thank you’. The audience giggled.

Sophie’s cheeks turned bright red.

‘Thank you, Your Majesty,’ she whispered.

‘You’re very welcome, my dear. Now put that kitty away again quick smart.’ The Queen glared at Angus and his hound, who had moved to the front row. She wondered if he was entered in the next category: Dribbliest Pet.

Meanwhile, outside, Aunt Violet screeched to a halt at the front gate. She gathered up the black bag on the seat beside her and opened the driver’s door, failing to see the ‘No parking’ sign right beside her car.

‘Silly child would forget her head if it wasn’t screwed on,’ she tutted under her breath.

Digby Pertwhistle was outside helping set up the morning tea. He spotted the old woman exiting her car and scurried to meet her.

‘Good morning, Miss Appleby, I see you changed your mind.’

‘No, I did not.’ Aunt Violet peered over the roof of her expensive red car. She didn’t notice the shadow that scurried underneath the vehicle.

‘May I ask what you’re doing here then?’ said the old man.

‘I have this.’ Aunt Violet held the bag aloft. She slammed the car door.

‘Oh, it’s very good of you to bring Clementine’s bag. I don’t think she realised that it was missing. But you can’t park here,’ he said, pointing at the sign.

‘Pooh! I’ll only be a minute,’ she said, waving her hand at him.

‘Well, I can take the bag for you and then you don’t need to come in at all,’ Digby offered.

Aunt Violet shook her head. ‘No, I’ll take it myself.’ She pursed her lips together tightly. ‘I want Clementine to understand that she has to be more careful with her things. She can’t expect someone to rescue her every time she’s careless.’

‘Oh,’ said Digby. ‘Of course. She is five, after all. I don’t suppose it has anything to do with you wanting to meet Queen Georgiana?’

‘Of course not,’ Aunt Violet snapped.

‘You’re not even a little curious?’ Digby teased.

‘No.’ She shook her head.

‘Well, I think you’ll find Clementine over in the hall with the rest of the children. The Best Dressed category will be coming up soon. Then you might like to stay for morning tea – after you’ve moved the car, of course.’

Violet ignored Digby’s last comment and marched through the gates. She almost bumped into Clementine and Lavender, who were on their way to the classroom to get ready. Mrs Bottomley was leading the group – in a straight line, of course. Her mouth was pinched and her eyebrows looked crosser than ever. She was not enjoying Pet Day one little bit, although the layered sponge cake she’d made for the event had been a great triumph, so she had that to look forward to at morning tea.

‘Aunt Violet!’ Clementine exclaimed. ‘I’m glad you changed your mind.’

‘I did no such thing,’ the woman snarled. She held the black bag aloft. ‘You forgot this.’

‘Oh, thank you for bringing it. Otherwise we would have missed out.’ Clementine smiled at her great-aunt. She hadn’t even realised that the bag was missing.

‘Well, yes, you need to be more careful in future, Clementine. I can’t go running around after you at the drop of a hat,’ said Aunt Violet. She looked as if she had just sucked a lemon.

‘Thank you, Aunt Violet,’ Clementine said again. ‘Are you going to stay for the judging?’ Clementine asked.

‘No, I’m going home to make another cup of tea. The one I was trying to make when your grandfather scolded me about your bag will be stone cold,’ Aunt Violet replied.

‘Did Grandpa talk to you too? That’s so exciting!’ Clementine gushed.

‘No, of course he did not talk to me,’ said Aunt Violet. ‘I didn’t mean it like that at all.’

But Clementine knew there was something more. She gave Aunt Violet a wave and skipped along with Lavender beside her on the way to the classroom.

Inside the hall, there were peals of laughter as Queen Georgiana announced the winner of the Dribbliest Pet category.

It was a tie. Father Bob had kindly loaned his bulldog, Adrian, to Eddie Whipple, a six-year-old lad from Penberthy Floss. The other winner was Angus’s giant mastiff, Martin. The Queen was calling for a mop to clean the stage before the next category, Best Dressed.

Aunt Violet was drawn towards the noise and wondered what on earth was going on. She poked her head into the back of the hall and watched as Her Majesty directed the school caretaker, Quentin Pickles, who was slipping and sliding all over the place.

‘Come on, man.’ Queen Georgiana pointed at a pool on the stage. ‘You missed a bit just there.’ The audience was hooting.

‘Oh, for goodness sake, give it to me.’ Her Majesty wrestled the mop from Mr Pickles, whose face had turned a stony white.

‘But, Ma’am, you’re the Queen. You can’t mop floors. That’s my job,’ the old man protested, clutching the mop back to his chest.

‘Yes, you’re quite right. I am the Queen, so I can jolly well do anything I please.’ Queen Georgiana flashed him a cheeky grin.

The parents and children wondered if they were watching a pantomime.

Violet Appleby pursed her lips. Could this really be the Queen? The very same woman she had invited to her birthday party when they were girls, and from whom she never received a reply?

Outside, Digby and Pierre were putting the finishing touches to the morning tea. A row of trestle tables heaved under the weight of cream buns, chocolate eclairs, sponge cakes and a scrumptious selection of biscuits and slices. Most had been supplied by Pierre, with some additions from the parents and teachers.

‘Well come on, Pierre,’ Digby called to his friend. ‘We should be getting in. I think Clementine and Lavender are about to be judged.’

The two men placed a long gauze cover over the tables and headed inside.

Clementine Rose and Lavender – now in her costume – followed Mrs Bottomley around to the side entrance of the hall.

‘Okay, Lavender, just do your best.’ Clementine reached down and gave the little pig a scratch behind the ear. She walked across the stage and was joined by a whole line of children and their pets, which were dressed in a range of outfits. There was a West Highland terrier in a sailor suit, a bunny dressed as a bellhop and, of course, Lavender in her tutu. Poppy was there too with one of the barn cats from their farm. It was a large tabby called Jezabel, dressed in a bride’s outfit that Poppy had borrowed from one of her dolls. Jezabel did not look as if she was enjoying the experience one little bit.

‘Oh my,’ Queen Georgiana gasped as she surveyed the group in front of her. ‘Don’t you all look gorgeous?’

She walked up and down the line, greeting the pets and their owners. Digby slid into a seat next to Lady Clarissa. He glanced around and saw Aunt Violet standing at the back of the hall. He motioned for her to come and sit down but she ignored him completely.

After a short deliberation, Queen Georgiana again took the microphone from Miss Critchley to announce the winner.

‘It gives me great pleasure to award the Best Dressed pet to . . . Lavender, the little teacup pig.’ She smiled at Clementine, who beamed back at her.

‘That’s our girl,’ Digby called from the back of the hall. Everyone clapped and laughed.

Queen Georgiana passed the microphone back to Miss Critchley and proceeded to pin the blue rosette onto Lavender’s tutu. The little pig nibbled Her Majesty’s finger and Clementine curtsied.

‘Well,’ Miss Critchley began, ‘I can’t believe it’s time for our final category: the Pet Most Like its Owner.’

All of the students and their pets, other than those entered in the last section, were now jammed in together at the front of the hall with parents and friends sitting on the rows of seats behind.

‘I love this part of the competition,’ Miss Critchley beamed. ‘It’s always a lot of fun. So, without any further ado, here are the entrants.’

The children and their pets filed across the stage. Among them were a girl from the fourth grade with blonde curls and her equally blonde curly-haired poodle; a lad from the sixth grade with slicked back hair holding a large skink in a terrarium; and a kindergarten boy with rather large ears, who was leading a basset hound. Another boy was wearing a dalmatian costume and holding the most adorable dalmatian puppy. Queen Georgiana was grinning broadly as she tried to decide on a winner.